Chapter 7
The phone rings startling Joey awake. "Hello?" His voice sounds husky with sleep as he runs a hand through his messy locks. "Son, what is going on?" Sitting up straight, he glances down at Seto and smiles faintly at the arm draped across his waist. "Wait a sec, dad."
"Hm?" "Seto, please, move." "Nope, you'll just leave me again." "Not yet." "I wish you'd change your mind." "Seto, what's my dad's name?" "Why should I care, not like I ever met him." "Point proven." "Pup, I didn't.." "His name is Joseph. Or Joe, that's what that bitch calls him." Seto falls silent, but nuzzles closer to the warmth radiating off the blond. His own personal heater.
"Hey, dad."
"Start talking."
"Sandro's looking for me."
"I heard. Also heard that he wants blood."
"I'll be fine."
"You should come home."
"I'd rather take my chances here."
"I still don't understand why you hate Celeste."
"Dad, she..."
"I'm thinking of asking her to marry me next fall."
"Congrats, I guess."
"Joey, be careful."
"Dad, I love you and respect your wishes; however, I will not attend."
"I know, you're too stuburn, just like your old man."
"Talk to you later, dad."
"Love ya, son. Bye."
He sighs as he hangs up and glances down to find blues gazing back at him with steady concern. "Who's Celeste?" "The bitch." "I concluded that much already. Why didn't you tell me about her?" Even more concern now, Seto's voice practically chocking on it. "She's not important," Joey mutters as he struggles against the impossible heaviness that comes with her name. "Pup, your face is chalk white." "Seto, please, just let me get to it on my own terms." "Will you ever tell me?" "Soon. I hope."
Ignoring his apprehension, he settles back into his bed instantly regretting his decision to buy a twin sized mattress. The brunette snuggles closer and he wonders if anyone would actually believe that Seto Kaiba is a cuddler when asleep. Too bad it's the only time the man shows that much affection. He tries desperately to ignore the feel of invisible hands pinching his skin and focus instead on the soothing warmth that envelopes the taller male. Not at all like the feverish feel of his own skin, but comforting heat that's just the perfect temp.
Finding a memory that's meant to be pleasant, he tries bringing his entire attention to his first kiss. Luckily for him it had been with the person he loves. Unbidden comes the memories as to why he had almost lost his first kiss, his innocence. Curling around Seto, he squeezes his eyes shut as if to block out the images he knows are coming.
FLASHBACK
Amber orbs had widen as his father's new girlfriend had entered his room. Her dark brown curls had been out of the usual french twist and her greens had an unusual edge to them. Her hands moved lightning quick and hard as they strapped him down to his bed with cords that he hadn't noticed tied to his bed frame. He had fought, terror quickening his movements while shame colored his cheeks red, but his every move just made the bindings cut deeper into his flesh until the disturbing scent of blood hit his nostrils. Her nails dragged down his chest leaving welts in their wake. Thankfully the tears never came. He bucked, and bucked trying to toss her off of him as her hot lips burned against his flesh. Enraged she had slapped him. In her eyes spoke volumes of what she had planned and he understood that obeying her would make the pain go away all the more quickly. Yet that part of him that wouldn't back down from a fight, no matter whom it was against, reared its head. He tugged desperately hoping to break at least one restraint as he preyed to every deity that he could recall not even sure if he was summoning them for the proper thing or not. Terrified he watched her pull off her skirt and tug his drawstring pants down. Screaming no in his mind, his prayers become more frantic. Suddenly he's chanting them aloud yet barely above a whisper. Begging for help, pleading with her to stop. Then as if an answer to his prayers, his father's voice calls out from down the hall, "Celeste?" Never before had he been so ecstatic to hear his father's voice, never had he felt a surge of love as great as the one he felt just then. He had to wonder if his friend had been right, that parents had this special telepathic thing that alerted them to their child's oncoming danger. And as she untied him then drew up her skirt, her eyes held a dangerous promise that kept his silence.
He had changed clothes and tossed those vile ones into a corner to be destroyed, rubbed his sore wrist before tugging on a long sleeve shirt over his t-shirt, and calmed himself mostly before greeting his dad. "Joey, go back to bed. I'm fine. Daddy's okay. Just one of those nights." "It's okay, dad, I'm not even tired. Want to talk about it?" So hard to keep his head lowered enough to shield his eyes with his hair. "It's okay now, son. Just bad dreams. I can even taste the alcohol, it felt that real." A quick, discreet sniff tells him that his dad spoke the truth. Not a hint of his usual liquor on his breath. "I'm proud of you. It's been how long, daddy?" The childish way of calling his father rolls off so naturally he nearly misses the look of concern that flashes in his dad's eyes. "Three months, two days, four hours, and twenty minutes." All the while, Celeste had sat primly in a chair sipping her water as if she had just strolled in from work.
Barely able to keep his eyes open, his cheek burning from the good right hook that Celeste had, Joey tries to concentrate on the weather report. Other more vicious wounds littered his arms from the blood bringing pinches and harsh way she had grabbed him. "Tell your daddy and I'll make sure he disowns you or sends you to boot camp." She had lifted a perfectly manicured hand in a minute wave when she had dropped him off at school. He thought seriously about skipping for a good five minutes but figured his dad didn't need the extra stress. He entered the classroom aware that he was early for once and felt blues colder than stunning sapphires following him. He had fled just as quickly wondering why he had even bothered with coming at all.
Kaiba had followed him all the way to the roof where they just stood staring at one another. "Don't." He's not sure how Seto had know that that one demand had meant so much, he's vaguely aware that his tone is broken, defeated. Confusion when he felt Seto's hands rub his sore arms ever so gently as if the teen knew of his pain, and slowly the blue eyes slid shut. On a sigh, he felt Seto's lips press firmly against his. He repressed his initial reaction to pull away and sunk into the emotions drowning him. Such warmth, so much comfort in such a simple show of emotion. Not wanting it to end, he slid his arms up and around the taller male's neck silently begging. A slight hesitation before heated petals brushed against his own. Tightening his hold, knowing he's appearing desperate, he nearly cries out in shock as those once gentle lips slam against his while teeth nip at his lower lip asking permission. Pausing for only a second, he mentally shakes himself awake and parts his lips. Thrilling sensation that shoots balls of fire straight to his belly leaving his entirely dizzy as Seto's tongue begins a slow, sensual duel with his own. "Happy birthday, pup."
He had completely forgotten. "Thanks." "This doesn't change anything, mutt." With that, Seto had walked away trench coat billowing out behind him. Confusion had taunted him for the rest of the day and he barely heard his friends wishing him Happy Birthday. "Here, Mokuba forced me to put back the leash and collar set." Suddenly his friends are the ones to be confused while he just sits back content for once. Though it would be interesting to find out how one can force Kaiba to do anything against his well. He unwrapped the slim box after much prodding from his friends and discovered a long chain that led to a circular locket with four slots for pictures. One slot already occupied by a photo of Mokuba grinning. "Thanks, moneybags." Unspoken the agreement that he'd leave one slot open for when they were both ready.
END FLASHBACK
"Pup?" He knows that tone and flashes a bright grin to ease Seto's concern. "Just thinking." "About?" He knows that the curious tone means Seto wont let up. "My first kiss." "Oh." Just by the short, sharp reply, he realizes that Seto never realized that he was his first. "It was my sixteenth birthday." "Really? Was it any good?" He hears the teasing tone and relaxes while stating, "It was alright." He chuckles as Seto's fingers dance up his sides effectively tickling him as he stammers, "It was great." A slight amused grin claims Seto's face as he whispers, "Mokie bothered me everyday until I worked up the nerve to ask you out." "So I heard. I had Yugi bothering me to tell him what had happened between us." "Why did you flinch?"
Said so casually the question doesn't register right away, and he fumbles for an answer. "I didn't." He knows how dumb, lame, and false the response sounds. "Yes, you did. You tensed up and flinched. Actually, you presented the same reactions every time we got intimate until a bit over a year after I had you move in." "I'm surprised you paid that much attention. Usually I had to beg for you to even look at me, even if it was silently." He notices the way Seto's control slips briefly before he regains it and curses under his breath. He had hoped that by starting a fight, then maybe Seto would drop the issue. "Pup, don't start. Once you had my attention, I gave every ounce of it to you. I never miss such details."
Calculations going on in that too smart brain. "Was it because of Celeste?" Should have known Seto would have caught on. "Don't wanna go there." "Pup, tell me." He hates that he's the one to put that guilty look in Seto's cobalt orbs, as if somehow the other male is at fault for his pain. "At least answer me this, was I really your first?" Detests himself for causing such doubt to rise within the slightly older male. "Yes." So simple an answer that doesn't reveal the fear he had lived with until he had given it away. "When did she start?" "My birthday," he whimpers focusing his amber orbs on a spot on the wall. "But she hit you before that, correct?" Nodding, he doesn't understand why he's even answering. He really doesn't want to, so why is his body going against his orders."She hit me as soon as she moved in two months prior. Then she started giving me weird looks but dad was always around her because he needed her support so I figured she just didn't like me." "Why is he still with her?" "I couldn't tell him. Seto, you can't tell anyone. If it gets out, it'll ruin him and what if he doesn't believe me. I can't do that to our family. I can't break it up even more than I already have." He spies that silent anger, that pure fury and his need to ride out on a stallion like some heroic knight. "Seto, please, just drop it. You can't just go and take justice into your own hands. It doesn't work like that." "You did." "Different circumstances. I wasn't about to wait on the police to rescue your little brother. Seto, come on, just let it go for now. Don't make me beg." "Of course. I love you, pup."
It still feels somewhat awkward to say those three words. Seto can count on both hands to Joey. Six times while in the relationship. Twice after they split up. He recalls the first time he said those special words and the surprise that had bloomed beautifully upon Joey's face.
Flashback
They had laid in his bed since Joey refused to invite him over. It had been his birthday. He hadn't planned on celebrating, steadfastly refused Mokuba's suggestions of a party or cake with candles. Typically he ignored turning one year older while his younger brother bought a gift that he could use. Usually he would have been in bed working on his laptop, or just trying to sleep and ignore the beeping on his cellphone alerting him to missed messages. Each year, he swore to ground Mokie for giving away his cell number to Yugi. The boy along with his other friends called to leave annoying messages on his phone telling him "Happy Birthday." All but the pup. Yet now that puppy laid in his bed smiling slightly and content.
Joey always had this thing for special dates and marking them somehow. Like on their sixth month, how Joey insisted on baking a cake and placing candles on it. Or on St. Patty's Day when he was forced to wear a green sweater and drink green Kool-Aid upon Joey's pleading puppy eyes. For someone who hated numbers, the blonde sure loved looking at the calender and coming up with new ideas to celebrate.
He had had a terrible day at school with the fangirls chasing after him with gifts, went to work to deal with imbeciles only to find Joey leaning casually against his car. Irritation swept through first, then confusion, yet he kept his mouth shut. He unlocked the car and motioned the blonde to get in. He figured he could explain that they had some project at school to work on if anyone saw them together.
He drove them to the mansion in silence. As soon as he opened the door, Mokuba tackled him into a hug. "Happy Birthday, big brother!" He patted the boy on his head and tried to send him to bed. He watched in amusement as Joey kneeled down to ruffle his brother's messy hair only to be drawn into a crushing hug. Joey's grin had grown considerably at the younger Kaiba's actions. With aching sincerity seeing them together always tugged at his heart. Warming him, loosening his hold on his emotions. He followed as Joey carried Mokie up to his bedroom, stood silently as the younger blonde tucked his younger brother into bed and flipped on the radio tuning the volume to a lower level. Amusement transfered to adoration as Joey whispered good night and closed the door. When he had been younger, Mokie loved being tucked in but recently he started to whine when he tried to. Yet Joey, being his usual golden hearted caring self, had tucked the boy in with no problems.
Once in his room, he had turned to the blonde nervously perched on his bed like he'd get burned if he laid back. "What were you doing by my car? We agreed not to be seen in public anymore than necessary." "Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. Figured it would be best not to disturb you at work." "Correct. Pup, you're on edge and I want to know why." "I'm fine, Kaiba." "Seto." It had been the first time he had given permission for Joey to call him by his first name. A calm overcame the blonde as he smiled radiating warmth that only seemed to come from him. "Seto, I want you to be my first." He tried to hide his shock, his concerns. The smile came easily enough once Joey slowly kissed him seventeen times before the blonde slowly removed his clothes and covered up with the blanket quickly. He climbed beneath the covers and brought the boy into another kiss hoping to ease his tension and nervousness. Each touch sent shivers down his spine as his puppy unbuttoned his shirt and peeled the garment off. Heating up quickly as his heart pounds, he assists Joey in finishing undressing him. Butterfly touches that nearly send him over the edge as hesitant kisses keep him grounded. "Pup, you sure?" He doesn't want to hurt him, doesn't know if he can even do this properly. "I'm sure." False bravado in that voice. For the first time that night he brought his hands down to caresses the blonde, hoping to ease him into the moment. With guilt shading his blues as the younger male flinched, he pondered what he had done to hurt him already. How many times had he gotten them both on the couch, panting from marathon make out sessions only to be brought back to reality when Joey would tense up and flinch like he had been struck anytime his hand choose to wander to low? "Puppy?" "Seto, ignore it. Please, just touch me. Just make me yours."
So he had. With gentle hands, reassuring kisses, and soft embraces. "Joey, relax. I don't want to hurt you." "It wont be your fault if you do, right?" Nervousness had returned full force to Joey's tone. They hadn't talked about past experiences. Neither of them had any. Yet it never graced his mind to realize that perhaps Joey didn't understand that they were both on equal grounds. "You'll be my first, too." Joey rewarded him with another kiss, this one heating with passion and a bit more forceful. Digging his fingers into Joey's hair, he brought him down for another kiss. Gentle as summer rain. The edgy nerves dissipate and he knows that Joey's fully in the moment now. No other thoughts crossing either mind.
Slowly they rocked together, building the passion and nearly letting it crest to just raise it again. Gradually Joey began quivering with anticipation, biting back moans. Pressing kisses to sun kissed, glowing skin, he smiled as Joey moaned out his name. Emotions tumbled inside him. Beautiful, glorious sensations erupting within.
Satisfied, they laid intertwined together with Joey's heart pounding against his own. He had traced the blonde's jaw enjoying the delighted surprise in amber pools of emotion as the male tilted his head up. Full devotion, absolute trust in those honey orbs. Shaking his head in amusement at his luck, he kissed already swollen lips bringing his fingers down to trace designs upon golden skin. Hesitating briefly as those enchanting orbs questioned him, he realized that emotion swelling and fluttering within him, and whispered, "I love you." "Love you too." Joey nuzzled his throat with those heated lips. "Always and forever, pup."
End Flashback
"For the longest time, I thought I was the problem. After you fell asleep, I repeated the scenes in my head. I never recalled hurting you physically, I know I was a bit impatient but you were my first for everything and I hated how uncontrollable the urge for you was. I figured if we made love, then I could control the impulses better. I not once tried to force to do anything. If you seemed even remotely uncomfortable, I stopped. I like being in control, we both know that, but I'd lose all of it for you. You never hinted at what was going on. I saw those bruises, saw the nail marks, even noticed the rope burns on your wrist and rather than help, I accused you of cheating. I was so close to hiring a private detective just to find out who the other person was. Who could be better than me that you'd willingly risk upsetting me to be with? Then it all stopped besides a few bruises here and there on your arms but nothing as terrible as before. I was so stupid. I despise feeling like a fool."
"I was, still am, ashamed. I feel weak. A woman hurt me. If it had been a male, then I could have fought back better, but I kept hearing my mother's voice telling me to never hit a lady no matter how much I feel she deserves it. She use to say that before everything went to hell. Use to tell me what a good boy I was and how proud of me she was. Now, she can barely stand being in the same room as me. I don't know what I did to make her hate me. I don't know what I did to deserve what dad's girlfriend did, either. I must have done something, right? I must have dressed inappropriately or said something that came off as suggestive or somethin'."
"Joey, it's not your fault. You didn't make them leave. You never made that disgusting tramp hurt you. Joey, you're not weak, but right now you are vulnerable, and I don't want to leave you. They don't deserve you, I'm not sure if I even deserve you, but I'm willing to find out."
Hugging Seto tighter, Joey fights his oncoming apprehension and whispers, "I'm scared, Seto." "I can tell. Puppy, come home with me. I'll set up bodyguards to protect you. We'll take a trip, go anywhere in the world that you want, until he forgets about you." Honey orbs glitter briefly with unshed tears as Joey takes a deep breath to steady his nerves. "Seto, what about Mokie's schooling and your company? It wont matter, we can go anywhere, but he'll still destroy you. Hell damage your reputation, steal your company, and take Mokie from you. I've seen him do it before, do even worse, too." Blues flash dangerously, hardening as he plots out various solutions, and he states, "He can't."
"Really?" Heat rising in the blonde's tone. Fire erupting in honey orbs. "Yes, really." Cold, flat tone. Ice sharpening blues into freezing sapphires. "Seto, you're an idiot. If you stay with me, he'll tell lies and corrupt employees into agreeing. He'll take innocent photos of you and Mokie and tarnish them. He'll use his influence and his money to crush you. Now, I can guarantee he hates me enough to do these things, but I'm saying he can and has before. I don't want to take that chance. I'm not worth losing everything you ever worked for." "Puppy, how'd you become so involved with a man like that?" Fire settles into slow embers as the blond wearily runs a hand through his disheveled hair. "Padrone took me in while Father worked. When dad was in-between jobs, he helped out with deliveries. He gave me a family when mine was broken."
A hint of awe is evident in Joey's voice and Seto understands that he has no choice but to abide by the male's request. "I'll wait for you." "It could be years. Seto, I have a six year deadline or your brother will kill me." "I'm a patient man." Regret deepens the honey color to a light brown while guilt lends a hint of pink to the younger man's cheeks. Pain hardens the blonde's jaw and thins his full lips into a thin, white line. "No, you're not. You want what you want when you want, and usually you get it." "Those are always things that I can claim. I can never own you, no matter how many times I've taken you and made you mine, you never truly belong to me. I can never actually place that collar on you that I teased you about." Nodding Joey toys with the blanket as he whispers, "But you know how to manipulate me into changing my mind."
"I'll go, Joey. Not because of some man I do not know, nor wish to meet, but because of you. I see it hidden in your eyes, that slight doubtful look that shames you. I feel it as if we are one soul, the urgent need for some solitude. I hear the hesitation in your voice and know that not all is forgiven no matter how badly I wish I'm sorry could make up for everything." Flickering in those amber eyes is that look of pure adoration only shadowed by the hurt that still shimmers playing hide and seek. While the blonde snuggles against him tugging the blanket up with him, he skims fingertips over the younger male's cheek and lets his mind wander. He knows that the secret he had kept so well from the press had leaked a week after they broke up. Pictures of them together in his own garden had surfaced. He also knows that Joey would never have said a word. Briefly he wonders who would benefit from displaying a relationship after it had failed and not leaked details while he and Joey had been a couple.
"I'll have to fix that. Actually release a dreadful statement to squash the rumors. Then, develop and sell new products to prove Kaiba Corps' power and influence. Also, learn to balance work and home life better. No more neglecting my family. How could I have not noticed that he was so unhappy? How could I not realize that our relationship was failing? How, when I noticed every flaw in my work?" Kissing the top of his head and dreading the morning light that'll come all too soon to whisk them away, he holds the warm body closer embracing this moment and surrendering to the familiarity to the action as Joey mumbles something about donuts in his sleep.
I'll make this work this time, pup. Even if it takes years til you and I can be together again, I shall wait with the utmost patience. My love is not built to fade.
