To the guest reviewer (alpaca fairy) who asked if they could do art for this story completely yes! Go ahead! I love pictures, love seeing how different people interpret my work :) just send me a link so I can see your glorious drawings!
…
Rin had left the dorm early this morning, leaving Nitori still sleeping in the bed they'd shared last night. When he'd finally untangled himself from the smaller boys arms he'd been met with sleepy whines of protest but they quickly ebbed when Rin's pillow was offered as a replacement, the familiar scent of Rin soothing the boy back to sleep.
If it weren't for his anger towards Kai he would have found it extremely difficult to leave, no doubt he would have just crawled back into the bed and held Nitori close, forgetting about everything else completely.
But he'd had somewhere he needed to be, someone he needed to see, so here he was, staring at Kai's dorm door as the hatred boiled inside him.
Slowly he brought his hand up to the door, delivering a loud, harsh knock that rattled the wood.
"Coming." Kai called, the creak of a bed indicating Rin had woken him.
As he listened to the sounds of footsteps pad across the floor he realised he had no idea what he wanted to say, he'd rushed over here blindly without planning anything out beforehand.
"Yes?" Kai said, his smile instantly dropping when he noticed who was stood on the other side of his door. "Matsuoka? What do you want?"
In that moment, Rin realised he didn't need a plan because his body acted before he even had time to think. His hand tightly coiled in a fist and, without even questioning his actions, he pulled it back and threw it against Kai's chin.
He smirked with satisfaction at the crunch of bone on bone, stalking inside the room and kicking the door shut as the older boy stumbled back at the unexpected contact.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Kai asked, wiping away the blood that dripped from his split lip.
"Right now? You." He replied casually before throwing another punch, this time aimed at his eye.
Kai was forced backwards, tripping over clothes he'd left haphazardly on the floor, sending his frame crashing to the ground with a bang. Without even waiting for him to recover Rin pounced on top of him, delivering blow after blow to the older boy.
"Get off me you psycho!" Kai called out, managing to get his own punch in to Rin's nose.
"Jesus." Rin winced, clutching his now injured face.
Using the moment of distraction Kai roughly pushed Rin from him, the boy on the floor gasping and spluttering as the air returned to his lungs without the pressure to his chest.
Rin scrambled to his feet, kicking Kai in the side before placing his foot on top of his stomach, stopping him from moving, trapping him on the floor.
"I know what you're doing." Rin hissed, pressing his foot down harder on the soft body.
"And what's that?" Kau wheezed.
"Hurting Nitori, and it stops now." He warned him, eyes flashing with anger and hatred.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, pushing the foot off his chest and to the floor, Rin's body jolting at the movement.
"I'm talking about the bruises, the cuts, the scars all over Nitori now. You think I'm stupid? You think I wouldn't notice that as soon as you came on the scene so did the injuries?" He shouted, leaning over him threateningly.
"Jesus." Kai muttered, pushing himself up off the floor to a seated position. "I thought that was you."
"Excuse me?" Rin crossed his arms.
"I just thought that you weren't too comfortable with sharing a dorm with a gay guy." He shrugged, pulling himself to his feet. "Typical hetero who thinks you can beat the gay out of someone."
"Don't pin this on me." He growled, grabbing Kai by the collar and pressing him against the wall. "I know it's you so you can drop the act."
"It's not an act." Kai sighed, not even bothering to put up a fight. "Ai kept giving me stupid excuses that he'd fallen, walked into various things, got jumped by some random guys at night." Rin's eyes widened as he heard the same excuses from Nitori as well.
"And you just assumed it was me then?" He asked.
"Well, you do have a tendency to run into things, fist's blazing." He said, gesturing to the hands still tightly around his neck. "So yeah, that was my first guess."
"I would never lay a finger on him." He whispered, more to himself than anyone else.
His temper was his weak spot, he knew that, hell everyone knew that, but he always wanted to believe there was a cut-off point, that he'd never hurt his friends. That he'd never hurt Ai, someone he loved.
"Look Rin." Kai started, snapping the red head out of his thoughts. "I know you don't like me, and I'll be honest I'm not particularly fond of you either. But we both care about Ai so let's put our differences aside to focus on him rather than blaming each other?"
The question caught Rin off guard, he seemed genuinely concerned for Nitori's well being, barely even raising a hand to Rin despite being attacked and cornered in his own room. Was it possible that in his jealous mind he'd created this whole story? The fact remained that someone was hurting Nitori, someone was beating him, but now he wasn't so sure it was the boy in front of him.
"Alright." He nodded, accepting a momentary truce, but he would be keeping his eye on Kai.
"Good. Think you could let me go?" Kai asked with a small smile.
"Oh right, sorry." He apologised, releasing his hold and taking a step back.
"It's fine." He smiled, sorting out the now ruffled collar.
"So, what's the plan now?" Rin asked, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Wait it out I guess, Ai will slip up and when he does we'll be ready, find this guy and beat the shit out of him. Together." Kai said.
"Sounds good to me." He grinned.
He was looking forward to the moment he could finally make them pay for what they are doing to Nitori, whoever they were they wouldn't be able to walk after Rin got through with them.
"I best be getting off, got to meet some friends." Rin lied, despite their common ground of Nitori they had no other bonds.
"Course." Kai nodded. "See you around Rin."
"Sure." He replied, backing out the room and back to his dorm to find Nitori, once again, had mysteriously vanished.
…
Nitori felt slightly embarrassed that he'd woken up alone this morning, but he knew it was irrational. Rin didn't owe him anything, last night had been a friendly gesture during a time of need, not the start of something new in their relationship. Rin had better things to do than wait around for his kohai to wake up, have hushed and whispered conversations that lasted well into the afternoon, never one realising how much time had passed.
Despite how much Nitori had dreamed of those simple moments.
In an attempt to get Rin out his mind, Nitori headed towards his boyfriends dorm, knowing that he should be the boy that haunted his dreams but unfortunately it never seemed to be that way.
With a forced smile he knocked on Kai's door, the expression quickly falling when the door flew open and he took in the sight. His eyes grew wide as he looked at the bloodied tissue pressed to his lip, the bruises along his cheek bones, the red swell around his eye.
"Oh, it's you." Kai muttered, turning away and walking inside his room.
Without thinking Nitori followed him inside, gently shutting the door behind him, he's instinct took over, he wanted to protect Kai, wanted to take away his pain. Nobody deserved it.
"Who did this to you?" Nitori asked, walking over to where he was sat on the bed.
"Why don't you ask your precious Rin if you want to know who did this to me?" He sneered.
"Rin-senpai did this?" He gasped in disbelief, so unlike his roommate to lash out at someone he barely knew.
"Why would I lie about that?" Kai snapped, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I don't know." He shrugged helplessly. "But why did he do it?"
"You can drop the little innocent act now Nitori." He scoffed.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"You don't think I haven't work it all out?" He cried, standing tall again. "That you always run into Matsuoka's arms? That you look at him with those wide, sad eyes and make him think you're this poor tortured soul?"
"It's not like that." He nervously stuttered, trying to back away only to have Kai quickly close the gap between him.
"But you only tell him half the story don't you?" He questioned, trapping him against the wall. "You forget to mention how you provoke me. How you tease me mercilessly then back down at the last minute, leaving me frustrated."
Before he could even react a hand slapped him across the cheek, forcing his head into the wall behind him with a loud crunch.
"You make me out to be this horrible person but he doesn't know how bad you can be too." Kai shouted, kneeing Nitori harshly in his hip.
Nitori felt his legs shake, begging to crumble but Kai's fingers dug into his shoulders, keeping him up and against the wall, pressing his back hard into the solid barrier.
"Does he realise you're just playing him? Just playing me? Of course he doesn't." He ranted, refusing to break to allow Nitori to defend himself. "He thinks you're perfect, he thinks you're so sweet, so innocent. But he doesn't know you like I do, he doesn't know the real you."
"Of course he doesn't!" Nitori groaned as he felt his feet lifting off the floor. "Only you know me because we love each other and only each other."
He tried to reassure, to show that Kai needn't be envious of Rin, that their friendship had no effect on their relationship, but he knew it was hopeless. Nitori had seen this glazed over look enough times to know there was no talking him down, that his mind had become detached from his body. The Kai that loved him was locked away deep inside to be replaced by this jealous monster.
"Do you really think he'll want you if he knew everything you do with me? If he knew what a dirty little whore you are?" He asked, completely ignoring Nitori's previous statement, but he continued to try to bring his Kai back.
"Who cares what he thinks? All I need is you to want me. Matsuoka-senpai can think what he likes, it's only your opinion I care about. I only care about your love." He pleaded.
Kai rolled his eyes in response, quickly releasing his hold he had on the younger boy and watching with satisfaction as he fell to the ground in a heap.
"Who said you had my love?" Kai mocked, looking down in disgust at Nitori.
Nitori felt the familiar prick at the back of his eyes at the words, tears building as it all slowly sunk in. Kai was right about Rin, he wouldn't be so quick to protect him if he knew how much he deserved it but that didn't matter as long as he had Kai, as long as someone loved him. But without Kai he'd be alone, nobody would ever want him, he wasn't worthy of anybody's love, he was lucky Kai even looked twice at him.
He couldn't lose him.
Loud sobs echoed out through the room as Nitori broke down, tears spilling down his cheeks as he buried his face in his knees.
"Save the waterworks, they only work on Matsuoka." Kai muttered, toeing slightly at the weeping ball on his floor.
Slowly Kai's anger began to disperse, the cries reaching inside him and squeezing his heart with guilt.
"Shit, Ai, I'm sorry." He apologised, dropping to his knees and pulling his boyfriend into his arms.
"Please don't stop loving me." Nitori cried.
"Of course, I could never do that." He promised. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." He hiccupped, tightly gripping the material of Kai's shirt, too scared to ever let him go.
…
Nitori made his way back to his room, anger simmering through his whole body. Rin had almost ruined his relationship, taken away the one person who would ever care about him. And why? Just a petty little need to be the alpha male, to show he was still the dominate presence in Nitori's life.
But not anymore, Nitori would free himself from Rin's hold, he'd have no claim over him any longer. He needed to show Kai that he was all he would ever need, nobody else. Nobody, especially not Rin, would return his feelings like Kai would.
As he neared the door to his dorm the hatred bubbled up to his throat like a thick bile that made him want to scream. Why did Rin have to get involved? After months of ignoring him why now did he suddenly care?
Furiously, Nitori threw open the door, all the pain and hurt he'd felt for the past few months came to the surface. He knew he was taking it out on the wrong person but he needed the release.
Rin jumped as the door clattered against the wall, looking up from his desk at the fuming boy in the doorway.
"Nitori? Are you okay?" He questioned.
"No I'm not." He harshly replied, kicking the door shut once again.
"Why? What's happened?" He asked, the concern lacing his tone made Nitori want to cringe.
Why was he pretending to care? What was he possibly gain from faking?
"You! Why did you think you were helping? You just made it worse." Nitori shouted, striding across the room to look down at Rin still sat on his chair.
"Made what worse? I don't understand what you're…" Rin trailed off as he noticed Nitori's red, raw cheek. "How did you…"
Rin reached up to stroke his face only for Nitori to flinch back, he couldn't fall for this again. He couldn't let himself believe there was something between them as it only caused him pain.
"Who is doing this to you?" Rin asked, pushing himself out his chair.
"You already know." Nitori muttered. "You went round and attacked him today."
"Kai?" He cried, eyes widening.
Nitori nodded mutely in response, the truth finally out in the open, finally confirmed after weeks of speculations.
"But he told me… I'm going to kill him." Rin growled, pushing past Nitori to the door. "I'm going to rip that boy to shreds."
"Senpai! Don't!" Nitori shouted, grabbing onto his wrist, desperately pulling to stop him. "This isn't your place to get involved."
"Believe me, it is. Nobody hurts the people I love." He told him, his anger blocking out the confession.
"It doesn't happen that much." Nitori said, trying desperately to justify Kai.
He knew how their relationship would look to an outsider, they would only focus on the negatives, not even bothering to consider the tender, loving moments the pair often shared.
"It shouldn't happen at all!" He yelled, but his anger wasn't at Nitori. No matter how frustrated he got at his naivety he knew Kai was really the one to blame.
"I can handle it, I don't need your help." He shouted defiantly, sounding like a teenager talking to his parent, if Rin wasn't so worried about his friend he'd almost find the situation funny.
"You clearly do, do you realise how stupid you're being Nitori?" He sighed.
"I'm not! He loves me senpai, you wouldn't understand." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
Unfortunately Rin understood perfectly, he knew what it felt like to love the wrong person, to be so hopelessly devoted to that other person despite knowing the feelings would never be returned. You'd take anything, the smallest gesture and convince yourself it meant something more just to make the whole shitty situation somewhat bearable.
Suddenly, the high pitched ringtone of Nitori's phone broke the silence, echoing eerily in the quiet room. With quick reflexes Rin reached into Nitori's pocket and grabbed the phone, ignoring the call before even checking the caller I.D, it was obvious who it would be anyway.
"Give me that back." Nitori protested, jumping for the phone Rin now held in the air.
Rin placed the phone on top of their shared cupboard, knowing Nitori would be far too small to ever reach the device for himself.
"I forbid you from seeing him!" Rin shouted irrationally, once again reminding of a parent child relationship.
"You can't do that, you can't tell me what to do! I'm not just some pathetic little child you can push around!" He shouted, defending himself in a way he never felt confident enough to do around Kai.
"You're right, your boyfriend does a good enough job of that for me." He snapped, regretting the words as soon as they'd left his mouth, as soon as the gasp had escaped Nitori's lips, as soon as the pain had shot across his eyes.
"I hate you." He said, glaring up the older boy.
Before Nitroi could control himself the tears came again, shaking his whole body as they fell. He wasn't sure what he felt right now, anger, pain, regret, or who it was aimed at but once again his dam burst and the tears flowed uncontrollably.
In panic, Rin ran forward and wrapped his arms around Nitori, pressing him a little too firmly into his chest but the other boy didn't care. Instead he inhaled the familiar smell and felt safe.
"I hate you." Nitori whispered, fingers once again curling around the soft material of a shirt and refusing to let go. "I hate you so much."
"I know you do." Rin replied, gently rocking him from side to side as his tears soaked through the thin fabric to his skin.
The shrill cry of his phone rung out again but neither boy made an effort to grab it, the only movement was subtle, barely noticeable to an outsider. Nobody would notice the red head lean down slightly and press a kiss into a silver crown, nobody would notice that the simple gesture soothed the smaller boy, nobody would notice that his tears quickly dried as they held each other.
Nobody would notice except the two figures caught up in each other's embrace.
…
Wow, feels like forever since I updated this! Hope it was worth the wait :)
