Sorry for being late...
Bonne lecture!
It took a month for Cullen to keep his promise. He sent word to the three Templars, and they arrived much later. Their physical state was worrying.
Ser Thomas from Kirkwall could no longer stand on his own. His breathing was difficult and he was almost deaf. As for his mental health… It was like a child. His wife accompanied him, but she was not really a wife anymore. She was between a big sister, a mother and a chantry sister. Two soldiers help carried the Templar inside the Infirmary in which a room was prepared for Siris' courageous volunteers.
Ser Amélie was more mentally touched than physically. She could walk and breathe and talk… Or shout, at least. She shouted very loud noises and sometimes insults. It took three guards and her brother too contain her. Siris had to force a sedative into her. While the guards carried the poor woman, the elf stopped the brother.
"She is a volunteer, right?"
The brother was a simple orlesian man in appearance, but a strange intelligence shined in the bottom of his eyes. He took, however, the attitude of a good and modest Andrastrian. He was almost a terrible actor. Almost. Only someone who had to deal with noble bullshit on a daily basis could tell.
"Of course. She has some moments of lucidity. When we talked about the Inquisition and your efforts, she immediately wanted to join. She does have a strong sense of duty. We were, however, against it! She's going through so much, I don't think she should strain herself more. But Amélie would have gone alone and by foot overwise."
Siris did not reply to this. She had a bad feeling. Was Ser Amélie truly a volunteer? If she wasn't and was brought here by force, Cullen will have the elf's hide. And the Lady Ambassador would have to calm the rumours about the Inquisition being inhuman with old soldiers of the Maker. The reputation of the organisation would be tainted –just enough to complicate things. On the other hand, if Amélie was using the Inquisition as an escape plan… While she watched the sedated human getting in the building, Siris suddenly understood that her job was much more than just studying lyrium addiction.
Ser Jacob was the less sick of them all. He looked pale and famished, just like the others. But his mind was only distracted. He had trouble focusing. Speaking was an effort he could still make; for how long? The Templar insisted meeting Siris. He stood with a cane, with dignity.
"While I still have some" he said. "I understand it would be easier for you if I was to sleep we've the others. But I would be grateful if I could sleep on my own, not far from the Chantry if possible."
The Chantry was inside the castle, which made his request impossible. But Siris suggested a corner of her laboratory large enough for someone to build a small private space with a small shrine. Her word was law for one of the guards made it happen. It was not as comfortable as a real bedroom, but Ser Jacob could not be any happier. He was grateful. As soon as he was free to do whatever he wanted, he kneeled and prayed to Andraste. He stayed like that most of the day. He forgot about anything else. Siris surprised him when, at the end of the day, she "woke him up" to give his meal.
Meal time was with the new team. Siris wanted them to be treated with all the care, which meant good food and company. The quartermaster was more than willing to bring good meals at the laboratory. Ser Jacob looked at the table in front of him while Siris did the service. When he started to cry, the elven woman immediately worried. Did she do something wrong? Was the food not good?
"It is nothing. It has been a while since I was allowed to eat such feast." He said.
Ser Amélie, who's brother was not allowed in the laboratory, felt the same way. She was in a lucid "moment" which lasted more than a "moment". Siris was suspecting something unethical, but needed more proof.
Ser Thomas' wife, Helena, helped him eat. She was a gentle soul who knew many stories. She told many of them, which kept the mood relatively high. It was needed, since the main subject of conversation was lyrium. However, at some point in the evening, the group talked about how these three templars were treated. Ser Thomas became like "this", fifteen years after living the Order. But Amélie and Jacob lost a lot of their abilities in only a few years. The difference was how they lived. Jacob was in a Chantry too poor to feed the sisters' themselves correctly. Amélie was under her brother supervision. She told her new friend terrifying stories of how she was living before Cullen sent word to her.
"It was my one chance to survive." She said.
Somehow, Siris was grateful the Commander thought of this woman for the researches. She might suffer from the tests, but at least she'll be treated like a human.
The reason why the brother mistreated his sister was because of money and wealth: for what else could it be? When they parents passed away a few years back, the two children were each given half of the family's wealth and land. Apparently it was quite a fortune. But when Amélie spoke about giving her share to the Chantry or built a house for the poor, the brother decided it would not happen. When her health started to decay, he convinced Amélie's Knight-Commander to let her go back home. The Templar thought she would live a quiet life until lyrium takes her; but the brother had other plans. He gave either too much or not enough lyrium, "forgot" to bring her food while she was locked away in a barn, chained to a pillar. When the Inquisition's messenger arrived, the brother force Amélie in a dress and in bed, for good impressions. In a moment of lucidity, she directly accepted the Commander's offer and asked the Inquisition to help go to Skyhold. The brother had to play along.
"It sickens me." Jacob said. "Don't worry, we'll take good care of you."
"If I have to die, it will be serving humanity. Not being a dog left to die in a corner." She said with energy.
The meal seemed to have given the three templars lots of energy and optimism. Food. Siris was seriously starting to think about asking one of the cook to help her study lyrium. If ingredients could help or on the contrary make things worst, Siris had to know.
The evening went without trouble. The people around the table tried to know each other a bit better while Siris worked on some theories. She listened with a distracted ear. At some point, when it was completely dark outside, Amélie went in a crisis and Thomas almost fell asleep. Jacod help Siris to bring the lady templar in her room, as Mrs Helena assured she could managed her husband alone.
When Siris was assured her charges were well settled, she could finally find rest in her small room on the side of her laboratory. It was tiny, but it was hers. The desk the Inquisition gave was already covered with notes and reports; despite not having as much work as expected when she started. Siris undressed, cleaned a little then crashed in her bed… Before remembering she had to write a report for the Commander. He asked her to do so: he needed to know she was keeping her word. Siris could let it go for tonight and write it tomorrow morning; but she could not help herself.
It was way past midnight when she finally finished her report. She went in more details than anticipated, but kept Ser Amélie's particular situation for herself… For now. She could not accuse a man of abusing his sister with just this one's word, when she was mentally unstable and under the influence of Lyrium. The later was known to create powerful hallucination on weakened bodies. Siris knew the Lady-Templar was telling the truth, but knowing her circonstance, who else would give her words credit ? Perhaps Siris could mention the problem to the Commander off-records ?
Siris was not fond of the idea to speak with the Commander Cullen. The little they spoke since they joined the inquisition were always under heavy awkwardness. Or the tone would get dead-serious. Either way, talking was not very pleasant.
When the elven woman finished thinking about all that, light came through the window.
The sun.
Oh dear… It was this late in the night? Or, in this case, early in the morning... ?
The tevinter left her room with the report in hand. She tiptoed across her laboratory: she did not want to wake Ser Jacob. The man was snoring loudly.
Once outside, Siris took the path of the Commander's quarters, but went in the kitchen first. The cooks knew her for being the "tevinter elf" ; in contrast with a certain "tevinter mage". The woman did not know more about the man and liked it that way. If she goes unnoticed, her chances to be ignored by Tevinter were greater. But concerning the cooks, having an elf in here was not a rare sight. Without being questioned, Siris took a piece of bread with cheese and a bowl of herbal tea. She sat outside to eat, then took the stairs up to the battlements. The guards asked her for her business a couple of times before she could get to Cullen's door. It was fine: it's better to be cautious these days… especially after Haven.
The sun was high enough to expect any Advisors to be already working. However, Siris did not expect to see what she saw.
The Commander Cullen was sitting at his desk. He had his head in his arms which were crossed on the table. His famous coat and armor were still on their stand. His curly blonde hair were greasy and messy. The movement of his shoulders indicated he was sleeping, but the hellish mess in the room said that sleep did not come easily. Shattered glass, wine on the floor, papers and reports flew across the room and were now resting pretty much everywhere.
Siris felt her heart race in worry. Something was not right: Cullen always seemed master of his emotions. All this did not look normal. The elven woman was careful not to put her bear feet on any glass shards. She pushed the ones she could and collected the papers on her path. She gingerly put them on the stool she had to put back on its feet. Before reaching the desk, Siris came across a familiar looking yet damaged box. It was made in wood and had a lock. Inside was a sculpture of Andraste, tools and a small vial of Lyrium. Siris collected all of it and put it on the desk. Despite being as silent as possible, Cullen jumped. He was covered in sweat and dark circles around his eyes were contrasting with his way-to-much pale skin. Southerners were paler than Tevinters and Siris was just getting used of it. However, she rarely saw just a white skin. The human looked ill.
"How do you feel ? " She asked.
Cullen took a moment to answer. He shook his head to wake up, try to stretch his sore shoulders and back, then looked at the room without any emotions. It was both sad and worrying to see such a man so exhausted and… Depressed. She could still remember him jumping with unnatural speed on a Magister. The man who carried her out of one of the living circles of Hells seemed so different than the man in front of her…
"I think you should come with me." Siris said and all he could answer was a loose grunt.
He followed without thinking much about it. Siris had to help him put at least a shirt: he may be fereldan, it was cold outside. Then they left the office. The Commander was slow. It was like being sedated. His steps were heavy… Never Siris imagined it would take an eternity to go to the infirmary. Luckily, no one saw the Commander Cullen in this state; it's was too early in the morning. Yet, Jacob was gone, probably taking a stroll, when they arrived in the laboratory. Siris made Cullen sit, then immediately made some tea. She had to help him take the first few sips once the water cooled down. After that, Cullen seemed to be a little more himself. He looked at the drink.
"What's that ?" He bluntly asked.
"Herbal tea I made." Siris answered.
It the usual medicinal plants, but she added spices from Tevinter the Lady-Ambassador was kind enough to find for her. Siris wanted to use them for the "cooking versus lyrium addiction project". She put a bit of pepper in the tea, it usually helps waking up, among other things.
"You missed Ser Jacob." She said. "He decided to sleep here. He admires you."
At this point it was small talk. Siris had no idea about what to say.
"I'm sorry." Cullen suddenly said, after a long awkward silence.
"What are you apologizing for ?"
"Many things. Mostly for Kirkwall's Alienage… I should have been more careful. More vigilant. I should have cared more."
"Cullen?"
But he kept going. He blamed himself for so many things. A many things happened to him. Siris listened to him telling the terrible story of Ferelden Circle Tower. She listened to him telling how Kirkwall became a battleground and how Knight-Commander Meredith lost her mind to Red Lyrium. She listened to many small failures. At some point she was not sure who was talking: Cullen or the Lyrium withdrawal? Once his head was empty and his nerves calmer, Siris served hi another cup of tea.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bother you with this."
Siris shook her head.
"For me it's no trouble." She said. "But… why telling me ? Why now ?"
"I don't know…" He said.
Siris took a moment to gather her thoughts.
"We've been working for a while now." She said. "I know you have problems with lyrium."
He tried to react but she stopped him with a gesture. He could not keep such secret from her.
"I can't guarantee to make your life easier. I can't tell you your past will go: I myself am still dealing with mine. But there is one thing I can tell you: you cannot fight this enemy alone. No one can. I won't force you but please… Please let me try to help you."
Cullen looked at her carefully. There was no expression on his face that could be read.
Siris did not know what he was going to answer, but she was already placing her bets.
Next chapter very soon (hopefully)!
