Title : 奇人KI-JIN VII (Liberation)

Disclaimer : I don't own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.

Rating : M

Genre : No idea! ^_^

Warnings : Yaoi

Pairing : Reishin/Kijin

Summary : Kijin reflects on the changes that have taken place in Reishin.

Notes :

(1) Set a little more than two weeks after White Skin Red Lips.
(2) This was written in response to the LJ Saiun_Challenge prompt "Liberation"

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The woman was moving her head, upper body and left hand rhythmically, her face a study in concentration. Between her teeth she held one end of the thread. Kijin's gaze traced the thread, from her mouth, looping through the index and middle finger of her right hand, twisting around, then to the other end of the thread held in her left hand. Her movements were so practiced as to be almost a dance. As she brought her left hand and mouth further apart, the thread twisted upon itself, the twists bunching together near her right hand. When her left hand and mouth came nearer to each other, the twisting motion travelled in the reverse direction.

Kijin marveled at Reishin's composure as the twisting thread ran over his face. Reishin's eyes were closed and he looked relaxed, almost beatific. He did not even flinch as the twisting motion of the thread grabbed and pulled out the fine facial hairs on his cheeks.

It was not that Kijin wasn't aware of this procedure. All well-bred women have their facial hair removed regularly as a part of their beauty regimen. Kijin knew that the women in his family did so too. But such things had never been a part of his world. They exist, but sort of in his peripheral vision. He had no interest to sit and witness a threading before. Even if he had wanted to, he doubted that he would have been allowed to.

This woman, Aunt Chen, as Reishin addressed her, was actually only four years his senior. She was the daughter of a servant. When she was seventeen she started learning the skill of threading from her mother. Reishin had volunteered to be her practice subject, without his parents' knowledge of course.

When Reishin, two weeks before, had decided that he wanted the services of a threading woman, he would have no one but her. He searched for and finally found her. His job offer was too good to refuse. And so she came to Kyo, and became a servant at the Ko Manor.

"Kijin, you want to feel the difference?"

Kijin hesitated. Reishin might be very at ease with this Aunt Chen, but Kijin wasn't sure how he felt about stroking Reishin's face in front of her! With his hand on Reishin's cheek, he stole a glance at her, to gauge her response. Her chin was demurely tucked in, her eyes downcast, as befitting a person in her position, but there was just the hint of a smile on her lips.

Well. Obviously SHE'S not surprised.

That somehow put him at ease. But it didn't last long.

"Threading can be done to remove body hair too. Before I start, Kijin, is there any of my body hair you would like retained?"

Kijin jumped and blushed, before he remembered that Aunt Chen was deaf and mute.
"Uh, why don't you surprise me, Dumpling?"

Retreating to his seat, Kijin watched as Reishin extended his left leg to be powdered. The pearl powder provided friction and was also anti-bacterial in function. He tried to imagine his Dumpling smooth-skinned and hairless.
Surely not THERE too!
STOP! STOP!
That's not a safe thing to dwell on!
Forcibly redirecting his thoughts, Kijin did a very deliberate review of the past two weeks.

The lip-colour had opened up a whole new world. To Reishin, painting his lips red was a symbolic gesture of liberation.

That night, they had, for the first time, kissed with the taste of the scented lip-colour on their lips. After that kiss, Reishin had been in a pensive mood.

Reishin related how, at the age of seven, he defied his father by refusing to have his hair dressed in a top-knot. From that point on, the beatings started. Everything he did displeased his father. The beatings became more severe after his father had walked into his wife's rooms, to find the eleven-year-old Reishin wearing his mother's clothes and lip-colour. From then on, Reishin was banned from entering his mother's rooms. Reishin's physical and emotional alienation from his mother had started with the first time he applied lip-colour.

And with the second time he coloured his lips, two weeks ago, the Reishin hidden beneath the orthodox young man was released. Reishin had cried that night. Kijin would never forget that sight of Reishin, clumsily wiping away his tears and smearing his lip-colour onto his right cheek. That was the only time Kijin had seen him cry.

Post-tears, while cradled in Kijin's embrace, Reishin had apologized for ruining Kijin's plan that night when Kijin presented the gift of the ear-studs wrapped in the title deeds. Reishin had also apologized for manipulating Kijin into consummating their relationship that night. Kijin had felt a slight tremor in Reishin's body, had heard the desperate plea in Reishin's voice as he whispered his confession into Kijin's ear that he had never been comfortable in a male body.

Smiling, Kijin recalled his own panic on hearing Reishin's confession.

[Flashback]

How was he supposed to react?

Fact : He fell in love with Reishin, the carefully cultivated, "orthodox" male version.
Fact : His physical response to Reishin had very much to do with Reishin's anatomy, including the parts that defined him as male!

To deny either of these two facts would be to deny his love for Reishin. But to affirm these two facts - would that hurt an already hurting Reishin? In the end, Kijin affirmed one fact, and denied the other.

Kijin, for once, was grateful for his super-responsive organ. The brief thought of Reishin's anatomy, plus the warmth of Reishin's body against his, had already brought about a partial erection. Kijin encouraged that response, leaning hard into Reishin.

"Do you feel that, Dumpling? Your body excites me. So it's a good thing for me that you have this body. And, it is also a good thing for you. Because, if you didn't have your male body, and I didn't get aroused, how are we going to be lovers?"

With his face buried in Kijin's shoulder, Reishin laughed weakly, clutching on to Kijin.

"As for what you do with your body, Reishin, it doesn't bother me. You can dress any which way you please. At the end of the day, I will still strip you!"

They both laughed. Kijin held Reishin tightly.
"I will worship the body that you hate, and maybe that will help you get used to it."

Kijin's hands slid downwards.
"Can I start now?"

Lying together after, Kijin reached for Reishin's hand, lacing his fingers through Reishin's.
"The person I love, Dumpling, is just you, devoid of gender. It's the you that was open-minded enough to give a pervert a chance. It's the you that got into a fist-fight just so as to save my face. It's the you that trusted me implicitly. It's also the you that teased relentlessly, but always made it all worthwhile in the end."

Smiling, Kijin looked at Reishin, contentedly having his body hair removed.
He's come a long way, in just two weeks.

He grinned.
MY credit, of course!

The change in Reishin was subtle but it permeated every aspect of him. Right down to love-making.

[Flashback]

It suddenly hit Kijin that Reishin had always been ill at ease when Kijin performed oral sex on him. He asked Reishin, and Reishin nodded, flushing and apologizing profusely.

Kijin was stunned. What must it be like to be pulled in two directions like that, to have your body enjoy the stimulation, but to be at the same time humiliated, because the very responsiveness of your body forces you to be too aware of the maleness that you hate. Reishin also told him that he had always avoided masturbating for the same reason. He only did it when he couldn't overcome the need, when his self-control lapsed.

Reishin desperately assured Kijin that everything else they did was not shadowed by this. In particular, that the problem did not exist when Kijin stimulated him with his hand while penetrating him, because the focus was not solely on his male genitalia.

Kijin's initial response to that dilemma was to stop focusing on Reishin's male genitalia altogether during sex. The next night, Kijin decided that doing so was counter-productive.

"You, Dumpling, are NOT to touch me in anyway, not even with your hot breath. Just watch."

Kijin positioned himself above Reishin, with his package hovering over Reishin's face, his knees in a kneeling position on either side of Reishin's head. He bent over at the waist, his elbows resting on the bed, his forearms brushing against Reishin's hips. Supporting himself on all fours, he performed oral sex on Reishin, using his breath, his lips, his teeth, his tongue, his mouth, his throat. Kijin's objective was different from all previous times. He was not just pleasuring his lover. He took his time, focusing on his own response as well.

Reishin watched the evidence of Kijin's arousal. It was surreal, to feel the sensations of Kijin's ministrations, and to see his own response mirrored, no, magnified, in the beautiful monster inches from his nose. Kijin's responses were so attuned with Reishin's that he came just a split second after Reishin did.

Kijin smiled in recollection. Reishin had understood, he understood the point of Kijin's exhibitionistic display. After they both caught their breath, Reishin had whispered "thank you" as he snuggled against Kijin. Later that night, Reishin had told Kijin that it worked, that thinking about his own arousal in terms of what it did for Kijin made him feel better about his own body.

The change worked slowly, but worked it did. Two nights ago, Reishin did something that surprised and awed Kijin.

[Flashback]

They were standing, kissing, still in their robes. Reishin broke off the kiss, looked into Kijin's eyes, put his hands on Kijin's shoulders, and applied enough downward pressure to make the message clear.

Kijin was not performing oral sex on Reishin. It was more like Reishin was using him. Reishin was aggressive, thrusting hard. Thrusting! That was the one thing Reishin had never done, ever.

Reishin withdrew and sank to his knees, shaking all over. Kijin looked in wonder at his lover. Reishin glowed. No, not the after-sex glow that he mentioned before, much better than that. Finally, Reishin had come to terms with his own anatomy. Finally, he did the one action that his body was designed to do, thrust with his penis.

"Kijin?"

Kijin brought his mind back to the present. Aunt Chen was done. She bowed and left the room.

"You were 'gone' for a long time. What were you thinking of?"

"Your penis."

Reishin's brows rose.
"Indeed! Why, thank you."

Kijin laughed. He was pleased. To be able to react so coolly and naturally to a direct reference to his male genitalia – this, indeed, was the new Reishin!

Reishin, still seated on the rosewood daybed, angled his head a little away from Kijin, and favoured him with a side-long glance beneath his hooded lids. Kijin felt the heat on his face. This side-long glance was one of the little mannerisms that surfaced after that lip-colour night.

Kijin loved them all, the subtle sashaying motion of the hips, the slight pouting of the lips, the arching of that graceful neck, the tossing of the head that sent the long silky moss-green hair back over one shoulder.

Kijin loved all of them, all these little Reishin-bits that became liberated. Reishin's behavior, in the privacy of their home, had become more feminine. And with his scarlet ear-studs, his red lip-colour, his unbound hair, he also looked more feminine. But in coming to terms with his male body, he became sexually more masculine. Kijin found that this duality made Reishin even sexier. Kijin laughed at himself. As if he needed that, he was already grappling with his runaway libido before this!

Kijin loved the best of all, the seductive side-long glance. It sent delicious shivers all over him. He wondered if Reishin was aware of its potency.
He's doing it again!
Good grief! Is he trying to seduce me? In the middle of the afternoon?

"Come check out Aunt Chen's handiwork, Kijin."
Reishin, still seated on the rosewood daybed, spread his knees, allowing his silk robe to outline his curves.

Kijin stared at Aunt Chen's handiwork, at the petite moss-green triangle, at the neatly trimmed edges, marveling at her expertise in threading.
"That's . . . adorable!"

Reishin purred.
"Take your time. Today's our day-off."

Kijin, his head pulled gently but firmly into Reishin's lap, was decidedly pleased with this liberated Reishin.

[The End]


Notes :

(1) I got the idea of writing about threading from a childhood memory of my paternal grandmother's friend from the same village in China. This friend of my granny, whom we address as "Grand Aunt" (as my granny and her are "village-sisters"), used to visit often. This Grand Aunt was immaculate, not a hair out of place, her samfu (Chinese ethnic clothes) always neatly pressed. She had threading done regularly – maybe that's why her complexion was so flawless!

(2) My description of the twisting action of the thread is based on my memory of threading.

(3) In northern China, girls used to get a threading right before the wedding. This first time ritual is called kai-lian, or "opening of the face". The removal of virgin facial hair signifies the end of immaturity and the beginning of womanhood. I found this information on the internet, but FFNet does not allow links. If you really ^_^ need to know more about the traditional practice of threading, you can email me for the link.

(4) Reishin's issue with his father regarding styling his hair in a top-knot, and the consequences of that defiance, are detailed in Brother Shoka.

(5) In Reishin's Spy, after almost two decades of being lovers, the issue of Reishin's gender identity makes another appearance.