I feel so bad for Cienna, and for James, poor guy. He really does take a beating in this chapter! OCs are mine - nothing else.


(Sirius's POV)

He was dumbfounded. So shocked by his best friend's behaviour that he couldn't move. Finally he flicked his eyes up to the victim of James's fury. Her face, so blank to everybody else, told him something. It told him that they were, in some sense, the same. Because he knew that façade. Because he'd mastered it too.

You can't take a speech like that and show no emotion without practise. His heart sank, although he didn't notice it.

He realised that James was still yelling. Everything in him wanted to jump up, to clamp his hand over James's mouth and tell Evenstar that he didn't mean it, that he was just angry. A rustling behind him alerted him to the rest of the Gryffindors presence. He caught sight of Remus's face. He looked appalled.

Finally James stopped speaking and just panted like he had run a marathon. Blood was still trickling down his face and shirt. In all of Sirius's life he had never seen James so angry, so violent, and so keen to inflict pain upon another person. And this wasn't just another person. This was Evenstar, one of James's best friends. And that scared him, just a little.

However, after looking at her it wasn't James he was cautious of. Looking at her face was frightening. What James had said to her was just as bad as what his parents had said to Sirius himself, and he didn't even like them. It would not just be the words that were hurting her, but the fact that it was James who had said them.

And yet, still she showed nothing. No emotion, no feeling. No tears, no anger. Blank. Like a mask. And that was frightening.

(James's POV)

He panted, trying to get enough oxygen into his lungs to breathe properly. It was calming, breathing. In, out, in out...He remembered that Cienna had once said something about that.

Cienna.

His eyes, clouded with anger and hatred, slowly cleared. The red mist inside his head dispersed. He blinked once. Then twice. Shook his head slightly. Blinked again.

Impossible.

The figure in front of him didn't change. It was still the little girl that he loved like a sister. A sister, who, right now, was in pain. He knew her too well to not see past the barrier she had built.

And then he felt it in full force. Guilt. It washed over him in huge waves. Shame. Regret. He knew he needed to say something, to break the silence.

He opened his mouth.

She ran.

Just turned on her heel and fled through the doors, pushing past anyone in her way. And suddenly it was as though now someone had moved everyone could. Everyone but him. He heard a muted shouting but couldn't make out any words. He only just heard great thumping footsteps over the pounding of his blood in his head.

But he definitely felt the first fist as it landed on his jaw. And the second. And the third. The fourth sent him to the ground. He landed on the rug, still dazed, bemused. He couldn't feel anything, although he could see blood on his shirt. Wait...blood?

It was the blood that snapped him out of it. He looked up to see Sirius, Remus, Frank and the twins holding Cienna's brother and his friends back. Her friends too. They were fighting to get at him again but, in the rush, seemed to have forgotten their wands. They didn't seem to be able to get through the shield that one of his friends had put up but he wasn't going to bet on that.

But pretty quickly Ollie became the least of his worries. As he was struggling to his feet he was kicked. Hard. Right where it hurt a guy the worst. He keeled over, clutching where the foot had landed. After a minute he looked up, face contorted in pain.

"Evans! What in Merlin's beard did you do that for you crazy girl?" His love for her was for a moment hidden to him.

"What did I do that for? WHAT DID I DO THAT FOR? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU IMBECILE? HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A GIRL WHO HAS BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR YEARS? HOW DARE YOU SAY WE ONLY WANT TO BE WITH HER BECAUSE OF MONEY? HOW DARE YOU HURT THE PERSON WHO ALWAYS STANDS UP FOR YOU, NO MATTER WHAT? HOW DARE YOU...YOU!" Lily ran out of words to express her anger but the message was pretty clear. He had messed up. Bad

James opened his mouth to try and defend himself but realised that he had nothing to say. Luckily for him he didn't have the chance to flounder hopelessly for long as the portrait opened. Everybody's heads spun round, think that it was Cienna. It wasn't.

It was Professor McGonagall. A very angry Professor McGonagall.

"What is the meaning of all this?" She looked around, trying to make eye contact with someone who would answer her. Nobody looked up.

"Speak, NOW!" Everyone flinched at the sudden shout, rustled about, then looked at James.

"Mr Potter. Would you care to explain why you are covered in blood and Mr Evenstar is looking at you like he would like to kill you very slowly...with his bare hands?" It wasn't really a question so much as a statement.

He swallowed, looked to Remus and Sirius. Remus looked away but Sirius gave just a tiny nod.

There was a crack of thunder outside. Rain pelted the windows in thick drops. I hope she isn't out there.

"Well Professor..."

(Cienna's POV)

A crack of thunder startled Cienna from her memories. Big fat drops of rain pelted her. Pretty soon she was soaked through and shivering, although she herself felt no cold. Just another freaky thing wrong with me huh? She shuddered.

Freak.

That was the word used to describe her by them. Her and her brother. A pair of freaks. Another shudder as a memory shot into her head.

Her and her brother running through the meadow towards their house. Laughing, singing. Carrying pretty flowers in her hands to give to mummy. Racing each other to the doors, smiling when she won, then annoyance when she realised that he had let her win.

"Mama, he's letting me win again."

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

She opened her mouth to speak again but caught his eye and burst out laughing instead. He joined her.

"What are you two giggling about now?" Their mother, young and beautiful with a carefree face, was smiling.

"Look mama, we brought you flowers. He wouldn't carry them though." Accusation ran though her voice like an undercurrent.

"I'd look like a girl if I carried flowers, wouldn't I mama?" His little face shone with laughter.

"My son, a girl? Never. Even when carrying flowers you can still be a man. I carry your mother's flowers all the time. She has so many that..." But their father was cut off by his two youngest screaming his name.

"PAPA!" Their father had been away with work for a few weeks and they were very happy to see him because every time he came back he always brought...

"PRESENTS!"

"Ooooh, papa did you bring me one?" She had already thrust the flowers at her mother and was looking up at her tall father.

"Me first, me first." Her brother jumping about behind her.

"Why you? Just because you're oldest doesn't mean you get everything first does it papa?"

He chuckled.

"Of course not my little wolverine. But just to make things fair, why don't I give you both your gifts at the same time?" The young children looked at each other, nodded and smiled.

Their father reached behind him, picked up two little parcels and held them out, one to each child.

"Thank you papa." They chimed before eagerly ripping open the paper.

Inside each parcel was a little cloth bag. They looked up, slightly bemused. Their father smiled fondly and whispered to their mother.

"I told you those knots would slow them down!" Before waving his wand at the bags. The knots undid themselves and the children eagerly shook the bag's contents onto their hands. Then they gasped.

On the palm of each of their right hands was a beautifully crafted ring. For her, a slim band of silver above which a very small circle of red amber lay, and below which three leaf shapes lay. On the far left of the leaves was one made out of the same reddish amber as the circle above. The one next to it was yellow and the one beside that was green. The colours looked a little like some of those muggle boiled sweetie things that she liked! All of these gems were encircled by an extraordinarily slender band of silver. She held the ring closer to the light and saw that inside the stones were flecked with lighter and slightly darker versions of the same colour. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"The red amber represents the fire inside our people, the yellow shows light we bring. The green represents our love of the outside world and all that lives in it and the silver represents our freedom, the most important thing we have. Keep this ring close at all times, little one, for it may prove to be a light for you in your darkest moments." Her father was oddly serious for once.

"Thank you papa." She clenched the ring in her small fist and lent up to kiss his check, then turned to look at her brother's ring.

It was just as wonderful as hers, but in a different way. It was a lot wider than hers was but was still made out of silver. It consisted of a single band that would wind round the back of his finger but then widened and split to create two semi-circles, on at either end. In the middle was a circle of silver. The circle overlapped the two ends, making three little gaps in the circle where the air could be seen through them. It looked like some sort of old rune.

"This symbolises the bond between you and your sister, my boy. The two loops represent you two as twins. The circle in the middle binds you. The circle shows love, friendship, family, strength and honour – all the things that bind and your sister together. The silver, as with your sister's ring, represents freedom, the most important gift we possess. Treat this ring with dignity and it will not fail you in keeping you true to your strength."

"You mean, I'll be strong like you papa?" His face was hopeful.

"One day, yes. But this strength is a different kind. Strength of mind, strength of will, strength of love, and honour and hope. You will be a rock all to lean on and draw courage from your strength. The strength to do what is right, no matter how hard it may be. Now, why don't you your sister's ring on for her, and she'll do the same for you." They did as they were told. "No matter how far away from each other you are, these rings will always bring you back to one and other, safe and sound." A tear leaked out of the corner of their father's eye.

"Papa, why are you crying?" She didn't like see people cry, neither of them did.

"Why don't you come here and give your father a hug, hey?" He asked, his arms open.

They ran to him, and then she looked up.

"You too mama." Their mother joined in, smiling softly. And there they stayed, the four of them holding on to one and other, the twin's rings shining in the sunlight.

Cienna toyed with the ring on her necklace. Her brother had given it to her before...

Crack.

She jumped to her feet, slipping slightly on the wet grass, searching the bushes behind her for the intruder. Soon enough, it showed. A large, wolf like dog, pure black and sopping wet with curious coloured eyes. Grey, like the storm clouds overhead.

"Hey you, what are you doing out here in the rain? You'll get cold. Your fur's not waterproof you know."

The dog - no wolf - moved closer to her. It was huge. Its shoulders came up to her waist, its head level with her shoulders. A normal person would have, should have, been scared by now. But she wasn't.

Why should I be?

She voiced her thoughts.

"You know, anyone with the slightest shred of normality in them would be scared right now. I mean, you're huge. And look like a wolf...a hungry wolf. But I'm not. And would you like to know why? It's because I'm a freak. A freak because I'm not scared of dying. But why should I be scared? A part of me died years ago, a part of my heart. And since then I've just been wandering round, broken and waiting. Waiting to die." A humourless chuckle. "Only death seems a long time coming."

The wolf-dog nudged her shoulder with its nose. She looked at it. The way it was looking at her, like it understood.

"But how can you understand? You don't know anything about me. Not even my name." The wolf whined.

"Look, it's Cienna...Cienna Evenstar. And now we need to find a name for you don't we, huh? You're a guy, right? You look like a male wolf." The wolf-dog barked.

"I'll take that as a yes. What about...Brutus?" The wolf-dog growled.

"What, I've always liked Brutus...Palidor then." A yelp. "It means knight. No, okay then. Theron means hunter, which would suit you, looking like a wolf and all that." The wolf-dog just gave her that look.

"You're hard to please aren't you?" She frowned, "Maybe you're a softie at heart. Cuddles, Cupid, Snuffles, Pepper...wait, Snuffles?" The wolf-dog's, no Snuffles', ears shot up.

"Snuffles. So you don't like Theron or Palidor or any of those heroic names, but you like Snuffles? That's just odd." The she frowned again. "Says the girl who's talking to a wolf/dog thing."

Snuffles barked, sounding affronted.

"Where did you come from any way, hey? The woods?" She swallowed. "I've always liked the woods, even after he..." She sniffed, and Snuffles moved closer, pushing her down to the ground.

"Wait, what are you..." He answered her question before she even asked it by sitting behind her so she could learn against his side, then curling round her to place his head on his paws beside her lap. He closed his eyes.

"You're warm. How are you warm out in this?" It hadn't stopped raining and Cienna realised that it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. And I don't know the way back.

She sighed. Snuffles' eyes opened. She could see the question in them.

"I don't know where I am." Snuffles didn't look worried about this. "Which means I can't get back. Although thinking about it, I'm not even sure if I should go back." At this Snuffles started to look a little worried.

"I could just stay out here. Or walk to the coast. I could get a little cottage on the cliffs, overlooking the sea. When it's sunny I'll go down and collect shells. It'll be quiet, peaceful. You could come too, if you wanted." Snuffles looked very worried by this point. Cienna smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile.

"Don't worry. I don't know why you don't want me to leave but I'm not going to. I have no money, and I can't walk to the coast. Anyway, I made a promise to my brother. And I don't break promises."

Cienna leaned back and closed her eyes, letting the rain drops hit her face. She counted them, one, two, three...

They stayed like this for some time, neither moving. But soon Cienna knew that she had to go back. Ollie would be worried. She sat up.

"I don't want to go back. I mean, I've spent so long believing that they were my friends, and now I find out that it's all because they wanted my money."

She shut her eyes for a moment.

"James always has known how to hurt me the worst. Him and Black." Snuffles' head went up. "Yes, Black seems to have learnt how from James. It's sad really. But then again, in a way this whole thing is good for me. Shows me that I shouldn't trust anyone who isn't related by blood, and maybe not some who are."

She opened her eyes and looked at the sky. The rain showed no sign of stopping.

"Better get going boy; I don't want to be stuck out here in the dark." She stood up, Snuffles doing the same, and swayed slightly, her hand going out to Snuffles' back to steady herself.

"Whoa, head rush." Snuffles whined again. "Hey, I'm fine boy, just went a little dizzy."

He didn't look happy.

"I'd better go now so I'll see you around sometime...maybe." She patted him on the head. "Bye Snuffles." He stood in the middle of the clearing, watching her as she walked back through the woods, trying to remember the way she had come.

xXx

Eventually Cienna found her way back to the school grounds. The rain had died down but the wind had picked up, blowing cruelly at her face. There was blood trickling from the cut on her temple. It had re-opened when she had walked into a branch, blinded by the rain. Stupid girl.

She looked up at the castle. It seemed so far away and she didn't know if she could walk that far. The logical part of her brain told her that it wasn't really that far; that she had easily ran further when chasing after her brothers. Plus, she walked up and down here every day.

But that didn't seem to matter to her. For some odd reason she felt warm. She knew she shouldn't. Damn, she had been out in the cold, rain and wind for most of the day, she couldn't be warm. Unless...Suddenly it dawned upon her, stopping her inner babbling. Hypothermia.

Cienna knew what happened when someone got hypothermia. They got really cold, so cold that they started to feel warm. Then they would get confused and weak. Soon she wouldn't be able to walk and she would just collapse and eventually die.

Logic started to kick in. She knew she couldn't get to the castle, but she could get to Hagrid's if she tried hard. She turned and started walking to the little hut about a kilometre away from her. The ground felt like mud, trying to keep her feet stuck in place. The effort it took to move was incredible.

To keep her mind working she started counting her steps. She knew she would start to get confused unless she focused on something. And slowly, slowly the hut got bigger. 300 metres left, then 200. She just kept on putting one foot in front of the other. She didn't notice the rain picking up again. She didn't hear the thunder above her head. She didn't look up until she reached to two stone steps in front of Hagrid's hut.

She swallowed. She lifted one foot and placed it upon the first step, then the other. She repeated the process before her body could register how little energy it actually had left. Cienna stood still on the top step, trying to catch her breath. The little part of her mind that was still logical was amazed. A little walk like that making me out of breath. I must be ill.

She stood on the step for a while, wondering why no one was answering. Then she realised. She hadn't even knocked. Fool. She raised her arm. Her hand, balled into a fist, was trembling. She had to knock before her arm dropped because she knew she wouldn't be able to raise it again.

Thump. Thump.

That was all she could manage before she blacked out. Her last thought before she fell. I hope Snuffles got home okay.

When Hagrid opened the door two minutes later he found Cienna collapsed on his doorstep. His first thought ran through his mind in terror. She aint breathin.


Poor Cienna's having a bad week. Thanks for reading.

Megs