Mood Swings
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone, which had just rang, and of course I had answered it.
"Greetings, Barry..." Lucus' voice said on the other line. ...Wait, LUCUS?! That bastard! He decides to ignore me, and avoid me for the past two weeks, and then thinks that he can just randomly call me?! I don't think so!
"What're you callin' for, bastard?"
"Excuse me, but why on Earth would you call me such a name?"
"You know why! You ignore me, and avoid my existence!"
"...No, I do not."
"You're a real ass, ya know that?!"
"So be it, if that is what you think. Then I guess I will not share with you what I wish to tell."
"Good! DON'T! You're just an asshole!"
"Fine." ...And then I hung up. That-.... UGH! He drives me out of my mind!
"Barry," a voice called from behind me. The one who possessed it was my mother. "are you alright? I'm worried about you..."
"PERFECTLY FINE, Mother. I'm HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!" I threw my arms to my sides, and stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me. OOO! That asshole! He just pisses me off! EVERYTHING pisses me off! I just want to punch something, or beat the living shit out of someone! UGH!!!!
_-_-_-~~~~-_-_-_
"Barry, what're you doin', boy?" Dad snapped.
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?!" I retorted. "I'm eating caramel!"
"...But you don't like caramel...." As if I didn't already know that?
"So what? Aren't I allowed to eat it anyway?! Is there some law that says I can't?!"
"Don't use that tone with me!"
"So what?! You don't fucking care! You don't fucking care about me! All you fucking care about is work, money, and your wife!"
He grew silent. I stared into his brown eyes as he did into my orange ones. It was totally as if we had begun an eye staring contest... but we hadn't. Eventually, the silent drove me enraged.
"WELL!?" I shouted. "Don't you have ANYTHING to say for yourself!? ANYTHING AT ALL?! Huh? Huh?"
"...No," he said simply, "nothing at all."
"Bastard!" And with that, I turned my back to him, giving him the middle finger. He deserved it. He deserved the worst anyone could ever receive, whether being hand given or suffering in other ways. I couldn't giva damn how he was given it, all I knew was that he deserved the worst.
_-_-_-~~~~-_-_-_
"Barry, are you up yet? Don't you have to go to work soon?"
"Go away!" I sobbed to my mother. She was worried about me, shockingly, since I hadn't come out of my room yet. Granted, I had to go to work, but I didn't want to. I didn't want my jerk of a boss to see me like this. Not like this. I had woke up crying, and I continued to sob all the tears that dared to rush down from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks. I lie on my bed, my back facing the ceiling, sobbing into a pillow.
My mother entered my room and sat down on the bed beside me. "Is everything alright, Barry? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Don't act like you care." I sobbed. "I know you don't, so don't even try acting like you do... cause I know you don't."
I could feel her hand rubbing my back, gently moving up and down in a careful motion. It was actually.... calming. Relaxing. Soothing. .....Making me feel loved. For once in my entire life, I actually felt as though she had actually cared about me. All it took was just this small, and simple, affection, and I feel wonderful. I feel like I've actually had a mother all these years of slaving around for her and her ridiculous husband.
My sobs had ceased within a matter of a couple minutes, and so I sat up to face my mother, looking into those beautiful eyes of hers. It was almost sinful how beautiful they were at that moment.
"Mommy..." I hugged her tightly, hiding my face in her jacket. Light sobs began to escape me, as if they were locked inside a cage and just released from it.
"Shh. It's okay. Calm down. Shh."
"But it's not okay," I said through my sobs, "I was a total jerk to you before. I'm sorry, Mommy." When was I infected with poison that controls me to call her 'Mommy'?
"Don't worry about it, Barry. I forgive you, dear." She began running her fingers through my hair. "Everything's okay. I promise you."
I couldn't help but smile.
_-_-_-~~~~-_-_-_
I lazily lied back on the couch, remote in hand, and I turned on the TV. Of course the first random channel it turns on to is some boring history channel. I flipped to the next channel. B-o-r-i-n-g! I don't wanna watch sports! I changed the channel. ....Oh my! A sex scene for some movie! I didn't flip to the next channel. I watched the people on TV make love.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"
I glanced over at Dad's computer desk. Yeah, of course he wouldn't approve of me watching this. Damn. Why's the big wide screen TV have to be right near his computer so he can see what I'm watching?
"Henati."
"Henati!? Why!? What are ya, some sick sin?!"
"In your mind, I am." I shouldn't have tried testing him, but I wasn't thinking at the moment.
Definitely a big mistake to test him. He stood up and stormed over to me. In a flash, he snatched the remote from me, nearly hitting my hand when he went to grab for it. He turned off the TV before slamming the remote down on the coffee table, which was right in front of me. Then I felt a painful smack of his hand hit my cheek. The very same one a few chapters back that had the band aid on it, which was still there.
I simply rubbed my cheek after he began storming back to his computer desk, sitting himself in his office chair. It didn't bother me that he hit me actually. I was kinda used to it by now.
"Watch that shit again and I'll hit you harder next time, got it?" He threatened.
"Yes, sir."
_-_-_-~~~~-_-_-_
I was sitting in a corner, facing the light blue, living room wall. I stared at it, observing every damn detail visible. My cheek was dripping with blood, and I wasn't allowed to touch it, despite how much I wanted to. Dad snapped and hurt me again, "because doing nothing is wasting so much time from your life". So he put me in this corner, and told me not to move from it. I feel like a kid, again, in time out. Time out wasn't always so bad though. I mean, it gives you time to think about things, whether about the wrong you did, or even just other things. Usually, I think about other things.
I placed a hand on my belly, gazing down at it. "As long as Dad doesn't harm you," I thought, "I do not mind being abused like this."
I'm worried about the baby, it's true. I don't want Dad to hurt him/her. If anything should happen to him/her because of my father, I'll never forgive him. I will try to stay out of trouble to attempt to protect the child, but I dunno if that'll work, either. Like I said before, I did nothing and I got hurt.
I felt blood drip onto my hand. I glanced at it, looking at it as if this were not my own blood. It is my own, I know, but I don't want to believe it is. If I see it as my own, it makes it seem as if I'm weak. I'm not weak. Just, I am trying to stay out of trouble to protect my baby, like I already said.
Where is Paul? I need Paul right about now. I need my knight in shiny armor to come rescue me from this imprisonment.
_-_-_-~~~~-_-_-_
I knocked on the white door that belonged to Lucus' house. I waited for a moment before Lucus answered.
"Oh... Um, greetings, Barry." He hesitantly greeted (I don't blame him. I was a total ass to him before).
"Hi," okay, now cut to the chase, "um, I was, um, w-wondering..."
"Yes?"
"A-are you mad at me from before? On the phone..."
"Oh, that? No. Not at all, Barry. Really. I'm sure that was just one of your mood swings, yes?"
"Mood swings?" Okay, what??
"Yeah, you know? Kind of like a bipolar thing..." He clarified for me.
"Oh. Oh!" If this were an anime, I'd have a huge sweat mark dripping down. "Right. Yeah, sorry about that. I just haven't been myself lately."
"I understand." Lucus replied. "I understand perfectly."
I smiled, and for some reason or another, I broke out into tears (look what's become of me? An enraged crybaby.). Lucus pulled me into his arms, giving me a shoulder to cry on.
"Shh, calm down, Barry. It is okay."
"No it's not!" I choked out through my sobs. "I-I was a jerk t-to you! I'm s-such a terri-ible person!"
"Do not speak about yourself in such a manner." He tried to calm me.
...What's wrong with me? Is this another side effect to being pregnant? Why am I so weak? Vulnerable? Emotional? Why? I don't understand any of this.... When this pregnancy shit is over with, I will NEVER have sex again so I don't have to deal with non-sense like this. It's a pain in the ass, ya know? Too many headaches to endure.
Anyway, this sobbing thing with me went on for about ten whole minutes (the inhumanity) before I finally ceased. I didn't let go of him. I remained in his arms, head rested on his shoulder. I could feel my heart beating fast throughout every moment of it (why?). I bet even Lucus could feel how fast it was beating. And the scary thing is, Lucus hasn't even let me go! Why haven't we released each other-.... oh. Right. That's why. His heart is beating fast too. I forgot he likes me... He's probably been turned on the whole damn time I've been holding him. So why do I care if he's turned on or not? No, I don't like him. I don't like him. I love Paul! Lucus will not stand in the way for how much I love Paul.
"Barry..." Lucus finally spoke after our long remains of silence.
"Yes...?"
"You realize we have not let each other go from this hug, correct?"
"W-we haven't?" I played dumb.
"No. I believe we haven't..."
And we just sat there, remaining in each others arms... why?
