The very next day they fitted Haruna with a temporary hearing aid. Kagome could hardly hold her tears in as she watched her baby girl stifle her own tears, her snotty nose draining as she tried to control herself.
It was heartbreaking.
The reality of the situation was really clicking in for Haruna. Her ears kept worsening. She would look at Kagome and Inuyasha blankly, unable to hear the words they were saying. As soon as she realized that they had indeed been talking, it was just lost on her, she would loose it. All the tears would spill over again and Inuyasha was the only one who could comfort her. He would pick her up and slide her onto his lap, wrapping his arms protectively around her as she curled into a tight ball, pulling herself in closer to him. He would lean down his head to rest lightly on top of hers. Kagome could hear the rumble in his chest and while she knew Haruna couldn't hear it, she could feel it. Haruna would press the palm of her small hand against Inuyasha's chest and eventually the feeling would soothe her.
The next day Dr. Hiromasa finally told them that Haruna was stable enough to return home. They had to recalibrate Haruna's hearing aid again, increasing the volume, before she left. He told her as soon as her hearing leveled off he would be able to have her fitted with a permanent hearing aid.
"Plus…" He whispered, his voice thoughtful. "You can always consider giving her a cochlear implant. She is still young enough for it to be of the most use to her growing up."
Inuyasha had growled at the idea, but Kagome was secretly contemplating it. All she knew for now was that she was going to have to do research before she broached the idea with Inuyasha.
When they finally left the hospital Haruna wouldn't release either of their hands. She clung to them as if her life depended on it. Kagome squeezed her hand back lightly, reassuringly. She glanced at Inuyasha and they shared the same concerned look. Their previously carefree girl wasn't ever going to be quite the same… She would never have that same level of innocence that she had possessed before entering the hospital.
When they reached Kagome's apartment Haruna released her hand and dashed to her bedroom. The loud slam of the door told her that Haruna had escaped into her own little world. She glanced back up at Inuyasha and saw him flinching in the direction Haruna had disappeared in.
"She's crying again." His voice was soft, weak, defeated. Now that she really stopped to look at him, he looked utterly exhausted. His once glossy hair seemed greasy and his eyes had dark bags hanging beneath them.
With a sudden pang of guilty she wondered when the last time he slept was.
She wanted to say something. She wanted to reach out to him. She didn't want him to feel so alone in this pain that they both shared. Yet, she found her hand stilled. She couldn't reach out to him. She just couldn't be that person for him… Not now…
Before she could even get a word out Inuyasha was lightly pushing past her and heading towards Haruna's room. She followed behind him. He opened the door slowly only to be greeted by a sobbing Haruna curled up on her bed, a stuffed dog pulled tight against her chest. Her watery eyes rose to look at him and her lips trembled as she tried to speak.
"Da… Daddy!" It came out stuttered, unsure. It was obvious that she couldn't hear how the word sounded anymore. Kagome spied the temporary hearing aid thrown, forgotten, on the floor. Inuyasha rushed over to once again wrap his little girl up in his arms while Kagome bent down to pick up the discarded item. She walked over to Haruna who eyed the object warily. Kagome held it out to her, a soft smile on her face, until Haruna nodded. Kagome gently brushed back Haruna's silver hair and carefully slid the hearing aid back into its proper place.
"Is that better?" Kagome raised her voice slightly. Haruna nodded, but she looked exceedingly unhappy about having the device back in her ear.
"Come on pup, it's not all bad." Inuyasha pulled Haruna tighter against him while she continued to snuggle her stuffed dog, her face shoved into its fluffy material.
"Yes, it is." Came her muffled and somewhat stuttered response.
Inuyasha sighed deeply and Kagome felt it down to her very bones. There was nothing they could really do for Haruna right now except for be there for her. Kagome eyed them one more time before she left Haruna's room to go and make some homemade chicken noodle soup, one of Haruna's favorite foods.
Kagome wasn't sure how she was going to handle this.
The thought of Haruna having her hearing taken from her… Of meningitis taking away something so precious… Simply tore her apart inside. All she knew was that she had to be strong. She had to somehow find the courage, find the will, to be strong for her little girl. With a resigned sigh she finished making the soup and poured it into a bowl. She sat the bowl on the table and walked back to Haruna's room. When she entered the sight pulled at her heart.
Inuyasha was rocking Haruna gently, running his fingers through her hair, as she sniffled. Her big golden eyes were staring up at him adoringly. Kagome leaned against the door frame, slouching slightly as she looked at them. Her fingers tightened when Inuyasha's ears swiveled over momentarily in her direction.
He had been so strong.
He had always been strong. She knew that. He had needed to be strong his whole life just because of what he was. Even though the population of half-demons was growing, there was still a stigma against them in wide parts of the community. Demons still tended to shun them while humans never fully wanted to integrate them into society. Slowly, over time, that attitude had begun to change. Humans were more moldable, which allowed their attitudes to shape easier over time. Half-demons were allowed into schools, jobs, positions of power that were previously never accessible. Demons, on the other hand, could be stubborn bastards. While they would work and live alongside half-demons it was still hard for half-demons to be promoted within demon held companies and personal relationships were relatively non-existent.
Times were changing, but still it didn't always feel like it was fast enough.
Inuyasha had always been strong, but she had never seen his true strength until this whole ordeal with Haruna. She had only seen him falter that one time after telling Haruna about her ears. His eyes had screamed for an escape and she had granted him it. He had sprinted out of the room and her heart had clenched at the sight of his departure. She could see the bags under his eyes, she could tell how weary his was, how exhausted he looked. She already knew it had been days since he had probably slept, but when was the last time he had at least bothered to eat?
She shook off the thoughts as she walked over to them, leaning down slightly so that she could meet their golden eyes.
"The food is ready."
Haruna frowned slightly, her hands holding onto Inuyasha's shirt tighter.
Kagome smirked. "Its chicken noodle soup." Haruna's eyes snapped up to her's, her old glow back on her face. She nodded slightly as she fumbled out of Inuyasha's grip to scurry out to the table in the living room. Inuyasha looked up at Kagome, his own smirk weak on his face. "You should eat too."
He averted his gaze. "I know."
Kagome walked over and nudged him slightly. "So, what you waiting for?"
He stood up slowly. His eyes met hers and they lingered there. She couldn't read his expression. It looked so torn. She could see the pain in his eyes, the longing, the wishes that could never be granted. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to think, her breath caught in her throat as his eyes evaluated her.
He was searching her. For what, she didn't know.
With a heavy sigh his shoulders relaxed and he seemed to collapse in on himself, shutting doors and building walls around his heart as he followed Haruna out to the living room. Kagome took in a shaky breath, her hand lifting to press against her erratically beating heart.
"Why?" She muttered it so softly it would be impossible for his hearing to pick it up. Pain and confusion etched her voice as she frowned at herself. Why was her heart acting like this… She didn't want to be with him. She didn't. Did she?
She shoved the thought forcefully from her mind as she followed them back out to the living room. By the time she got there Haruna was already almost finished with her food and Inuyasha had already gulped down half his bowl. She smirked, his never-ending appetite had always amused her. But, the way he had devoured the food really showed just how hungry he was. She walked over and leaned down to brush a stray hair behind Haruna's ear.
"Done?"
She nodded, a big yawn escaping her.
"Let's get you ready for bed." She nodded sleepily, the good food lulling her into the sweet embrace of sleep. Kagome helped her up and led her to the bedroom as she carefully helped her get dressed in a pair of pajamas. It was nice… Haruna hadn't let her help her with her clothes in nearly six months. When they were finished a sleepy Haruna flopped into her bed, pulling the covers up tight around her.
"Mommy?"
Kagome knelt down beside her. "Yea, baby?"
"Can Daddy stay tonight?"
The question made her freeze, but the needy look on Haruna's face easily made her push aside her own apprehensions. This wasn't about her, this was about Haruna . Kagome nodded. "Yes, he can stay."
Haruna smiled and closed her eyes. Her mouth mumbling something wordlessly as she fell asleep. Kagome watched her for a moment, treasuring this time… Life was precious. This was precious. This time with Haruna could disappear in an instant. She didn't know what may or may not happen. But, happiness could be snatched away in an instant. Kagome shook slightly as images of Haruna in the hospital flashed through her mind, the fear of loosing her gripped her again. She gently removed Haruna's hearing aid before placing it on the nightstand. With shaky breaths she leaned forward to press a gently kiss against Haruna's forehead.
"Goodnight."
She stood up and left the room, leaving the door open. Inuyasha had already washed up the dishes and was siting on the couch. He looked over at her and smiled gratefully.
"Thank you, Kagome."
She walked over and collapsed on the couch beside him, making sure to leave a large gap between them. "No problem." She glanced at him, careful not to let him see. "When's the last time you slept?"
He looked at her, catching her eyes. "I don't know. Sometime before I brought Haruna to the hospital."
She felt her jaw drop and had to slam it shut. The look of amusement on his face quickly faded as his exhaustion continued to set in. "I didn't know…"
"Not your fault." He huffed.
She stiffened. She could feel the walls he had put up. She could feel the enhanced distance between them. She also knew she could fix it with just a few words…
Yet, she didn't. She couldn't. She simply couldn't let down her own walls to help him dismantle his own. He had closed up. She sighed and stood up, running her hand through her hair anxiously. "There are some pillows and blankets in the hallway closet. The couch pushes down so it's decently comfortable." She looked at him one more time. She could only see the back of his head form where she was standing. He was already slouching more into the couch, relaxing into the soft material. "See you in the morning, Inuyasha."
She heard a gruff 'keh' as his ears lowered, defeated. She huffed, the sudden gust of air sounded violent in the silent room. She turned, it was only once she was about to step into her bedroom that she heard him speak again.
"Goodnight, Kagome…"
She wasn't even sure if he knew she had heard it. All she was sure of was the way her heartbeat stuttered as she walked into her room, making sure to leave the door open.
Early the next morning the beeping of her phone woke her up. She rolled over, lazily brushing her hair out of her face, as she reached over to pull her phone towards her. A text message flashed on her phone and, as annoyed as she was about the early wake up, the text still made her smile.
Daichi: I hope Haruna is doing better.
She smiled. She had to run out of her date with Daichi when she got the call from Sango about Haruna entering the hospital. She had been so flustered, in complete panic, and he had driven her over to the hospital without a word said about it. He didn't care, he knew that the health of her daughter was more important than anything else in this world. Every few days he would message her, asking how everything was going, and making sure she was ok.
Kagome thought it was sweet.
Yet, something nagged at the back of her mind. It wanted her to ignore Daichi, brush off his advances. It was still early, she could make a clean getaway. It begged her to listen.
She ignored it.
Before she had the chance to reply her phone dinged again.
Daichi: I hope that once everything settles down we can finish that date.
A rush of butterflies stormed her stomach and she took a deep breath before she replied, shunning the part of her that begged her to do otherwise.
Kagome: I'd like that.
She put down her phone and stood up. She straightened her tank top and pajama pants before stepping out of her room. She walked over to the couch, rubbing sleep out of her eyes, before she nearly face planted onto the floor.
Her eyes grew to the size of sauces as she took in the sight of a half-naked half-demon sleeping soundly on her couch.
She had forgotten he was there.
Her mouth dried out and she gulped, trying to control the suddenly frantic thoughts within her head. Her eyes trailed up his abs, realizing that they were somehow even more defined than when he was younger. She felt her palms start to sweat as she took in the sight of him. His ears twitched in his sleep, one arm dangling off the couch, his mouth opened as he snored lightly. She had never known him to snore before… He must have been exhausted for him to sink to that level of sleep. Her eyes greedily sucked in the sight of him, memorizing every inch of him. Every curve, every crease, every muscle. Her breath hitched in her throat and his face scrunched up, his ears twitching at the noise.
She stuttered, nearly tripping over herself as she scurried into the kitchen. A moment later she heard a small groan from the couch and she forced herself not to turn to him. Instead, she started making him eggs with toast.
"Is she up yet?" His voice was gruff with leftover sleep. A smile inadvertently spread across her face, but she kept her concentration on the frying pan in front of her. Cracking an egg to sizzle in the pan.
"Not yet." She dared a glance at him only to see his back toward her, hunched over, his ears pointed at her.
She heard a muffled 'humph' that told her he acknowledged what she had said. She gently flipped the egg with her spatula just as the toast finished. She reached over and spread a thin layer of butter on top of the toast, enjoying watching it as it melted onto the bread. She looked back at the egg, the gentle sizzle and pop as it finished cooking pleasing to the ear. She gently lifted it up and laid it on top of the piece of toast. Just the way she knew he liked it. She picked up the plate and walked over to him pushing it into his hands.
His golden eyes flashed over to her's for only a moment before he looked back at his breakfast. "Thanks…" His voice was soft and distant. He picked up the toast and took a bite. He devoured it quickly, hunger still evident on his face. When he finished he lowered his head, his bangs hiding his eyes. "You remembered…" He muttered.
She couldn't look at him, she turned her head to look the other way. "Of course I did."
She felt him stiffen. "Why? Why do you remember something so little like that?"
She took a deep breath, debating on how honest she should be with him. Her internal war waged on as she forced herself to begin speaking, regardless of the consequences. "Because I loved you. I remember everything."
The air between them became thick and heavy. Somehow, impossibly, he seemed to become only more tense beside her.
"It doesn't matter. Just something I remembered." Her voice came out weak, a half-muffled excuse.
She felt him adjust, probably turning to face her, but she still couldn't will herself to face him. "I screwed up, didn't I?"
The breath caught in her throat. The pain in his voice… Did it mean what she thought it meant? It sounded so full of regret, so full of something more. Some kind of longing that she couldn't quite grasp. Her mouth gaped like a fish, unable to find the words to form any coherent response.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Haruna's shrill cry stole their attention. In a flash he was a silver blur, making it into her room faster than she could even dream. When she reached Haruna's room she found Haruna in a panic. Her eyes wide, sweat making her hair stick to her forehead, her little hands squeezing the life out of her stuffed dog.
As soon as Kagome entered the room Haruna's tears spilt over. Her lip quivered as the dam broke open. Her eyes searched theirs and Kagome dashed forward to pull Haruna against her.
"I… I can't hear…" It came out pitchy. Haruna was unsure of her words. She couldn't hear how she sounded, how her pronunciation was, so she stumbled through them. Inuyasha spied the hearing aid on the nightstand and he quickly snatched it up to put into her ear.
"Better?" Inuyasha raised his voice slightly.
Haruna nodded her teary face and Kagome rubbed her back, soothing her pain. A few minutes later Haruna's tears dried up and Inuyasha reached out to pick her up and ruffle her hair, making her shriek playfully.
"How about some food?" Haruna nodded back at her and Inuyasha carried her out to the living room, keeping her entertained while Kagome made the same exact breakfast for her too. Inuyasha glanced up at her questioningly as she sat down the plate in front of Haruna. "What?" She smirked at him. "It's her favorite too."
Inuyasha blushed slightly before returning his attention to Haruna.
The rest of the day seemed to go buy in a blur. By the time the day came to an end, an exhausted Haruna tucked back into bed, Kagome felt exhausted. The whole day Inuyasha had been like a lifeline for Haruna. She would cling to him as he guided her through her newly deaf world. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel. Seeing Inuyasha like that with Haruna was like a daydream. Surreal in the utmost of ways.
Kagome fell onto the couch beside him. His head was leaned back against the backrest, his eyes closed as he relaxed. Her phone beeped and she turned her weary gaze to the screen.
Daichi: I have the perfect book you could give to Haruna. Next time I see you I'll bring a copy.
Kagome smiled softly. A soft rosy glow highlighting her cheekbones.
"Who's that?"
Kagome looked over to see that Inuyasha had cracked one eye open to look at her. His ears firmly fixed on her. Kagome's blush deepened as she quickly hid the screen.
"Just Daichi."
"Daichi?" He was fully awake now, his head up and alert, his eyes evaluating her every small movement. She felt uncomfortable underneath his gaze, like she had somehow betrayed him. She brushed off the illogical thought, but she still couldn't ignore the way her heart betrayed her mind.
"He was who I went on that date with."
His face seemed to tense momentarily. Then, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch, his arms coming up to cross against his chest protectively. "Keh." The silence seemed to drag on, the tension only escalating. Eventually, she saw his face scrunch up before he gained the will to speak. He still didn't open his eyes, but she knew he was paying attention to every small movement she made. "Are you… Are you going to go out with him again?" His voice cracked slightly and she saw the way he tensed because of it.
She averted her gaze once again, unable to look at the confusing emotions flashing across his face. "I think so…" It came out shaky, unsure, as if she doubted her own decision.
Ah, sometimes she hated the way her heart messed with her head.
"He's nice. He runs a small bookstore. He… He seems like a good guy."
She knew from the way he flinched slightly that he didn't miss the subtle jab she had thrown in there. She wanted a 'good' guy because Inuyasha hadn't turned out to be one.
He huffed and when she looked back he had turned his head away from her, his arms somehow tightened even more across his chest. "Can I ask something?"
He sounded so trepidatious, so cautious, that she couldn't help but want to know his question. "Shoot."
"How many people have you dated? Anything serious?"
Kagome gulped and forced herself to answer. They had to get to know each other again. They had to become friends. She reminded herself about that again and again. He had proven that he was a good father so far. He had been there for Haruna. He was there for both of them, supporting them, when they needed him most. This was just one step forward. A painful step, maybe. But, still… It was a step toward the friendship they needed.
"Three, not counting Daichi. Nothing serious. There was this one, Hojo was his name, that only droned on and on about holistic medical remedies. Bored me out of my mind, I nearly fell asleep at the dinner table."
He snorted and Kagome couldn't help but laugh slightly at the annoying memory. "How about you?"
He turned his golden gaze onto her and she felt frozen, rooted to the spot. He took a shaky breath before he answered her. "Five. One time things. Kikyo made six." She saw the way his fists clenched when he said her name and she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Regardless of everything else, Kikyo had kept him away from his daughter. Something which Kagome had realized, after that first proper meeting at the playground, that he would never have done. He would have never abandoned them. He would have been there for her and for Haruna.
"Oh…" A stab of pain rang through her chest as she imagined the faceless beautiful women he must have gone out with. "I see…"
He looked over at her, panic lacing his gaze. "It wasn't like that." He ran a hand through his hair, nervously ruffling it. "I was stupid. I was young."
"I know Inuyasha." She couldn't help but snap. He didn't reply. The tension settled back into the air so she decided to change the topic, annoyed with thinking about their past. "This appointment tomorrow… I've been meaning to ask you how you got it." She quirked an eyebrow at him inquisitively.
He seemed confused by the sudden change in topic but rolled with the punches. In the morning they had an appointment with an extremely well-known ear doctor. They were going to get an extremely advanced and expensive hearing aid custom fitted for Haruna. She had been wondering how he got the appointment since he announced the news two days prior. Even Dr. Hiromasa had been surprised. Not just anyone could get an appointment with that doctor. It was difficult.
He smirked, seemingly happy with the change in conversation as well. "Sesshomaru set it up for me."
Kagome felt the look of surprise swamp her face and she couldn't rein it back in. Sesshomaru? He hated Inuyasha. At least, when she had been around, the two barely spoke a word to each other. They had only barely tolerated each other's presence.
His smirk only grew from her astounded look. "A lot has changed Kagome. He has changed. Well, sorta anyway." He laughed and the sound was like music to her ears. "He was royally pissed at me when he found out I had a pup."
"When did he find out?"
He looked a bit sheepish as he replied. "The day we told Haruna about her ears."
"Inuyasha!" She playfully pushed him. He looked away a bit embarrassed.
"I wasn't sure how to tell him, ya know?"
She smiled understandingly. Still, her confusion only continued to mount as her questions grew.
"He is the CEO of this big Medical Equipment Corporation. They provide medical equipment to all the hospitals and clinics within a 100 mile radius. He has a lot of pull in the medical community. He got the appointment for Haruna."
Kagome's surprise only continued as her mouth dropped open into a small 'oh'. She shook herself, trying to at least get one more of her newly formed questions answered. "That still doesn't explain why… You two… Don't hate each other?" Her voice raised toward the end, her confusion obvious.
He smirked yet again. "Let's just say that someone changed his mind." Kagome raised her eyebrow at him. That didn't exactly answer her question. He laughed slightly before he continued. "He married this human girl named Rin. She is super nice. She's about eight months pregnant with their first pup. He's had to kind of readjust his attitude toward half-demons, ya know?" He couldn't keep the smirk off his face.
Kagome's mind was trying to race up to the new information. It seemed improbable. Impossible, even. For Sesshomaru to have married a human… Kagome was going to reply when her phone beeped, startling her from her train of thought. She turned to look at her phone, smiling fondly down at the new message.
Daichi: Goodnight, Kagome.
Kagome: Goodnight.
When she looked back up Inuyasha had turned away from her. The tension that had disappeared during their talk about Sesshomaru was slowly returning. He pulled off his shirt and heat spread throughout her body. She stood up quickly and turned so that he wouldn't see her flushed cheeks as she hoped and prayed that he couldn't smell the way her body had immediately reacted to him.
"Goodnight, Kagome." His voice was the sweetest sound and it made her shudder.
"Goodnight…" She muttered as she quickly escaped into her bedroom. As soon as she was inside the mess of feelings inside her began to swell and swirl. They overtook her, claiming all of her senses as she tried to adjust. She wanted to hate herself for the way her heart was desperately trying to overtake her brain. The feelings swirled inside in one giant confusing bubble.
"I'm not going to let him in again… I'm not… I'm not… I'm not going to let him in again… I can't… It hurts too much…" She muttered it on repeat, under her breath, until she finally succumbed to sleep. The sweet darkness that swallowed her was more than welcome. For that night, at least, all her problems could disappear.
~Author's Note~
I would like to send a huge thank you to Amaya Rosenguard and Jcminns for the reviews on chapter six.
Please, review and let me know your thoughts!
~ FeudalAi
