"You're supposed to be here. You promised you would be here. It happened again okay? And I couldn't control it. It's been a month Damon, where the hell are you?" I left a message after dinner that night.
I was so angry. Jasper had left after everyone went to bed. My walls were up again, and the feelings I was having were all mine. I had jumped out of my bedroom window and just ran into the woods.
I called him again.
"You know what? You can't just kiss me and disappear for a month Damon. You can't do that. You can't just go away and then send me a freakin' letter telling me not to worry. I worry. It's how I process things. And I know you meant it that way. Guess what Damon? The Cullens are here. And Stefan is being a judgy pain in the ass. So who helped me cleaning up the mess? They did. And I hated it. Get back already," I hung up and continued to pace around.
I dialed again.
"Your brother is an asshole, he befriended them. I was ambushed when I got here. I open the door and BAM! There they were. He has known them for months, months! And he never said a word," That's when it hit me. I didn't trust Stefan That was why I hadn't called him.
I hung up, in frustration I threw the phone against a tree and it shattered.
I needed to vent. I wanted to rip something up. I was so angry about the whole situation. Me, killing that guy, me, calling the Cullens, me, letting my guard down so that Jasper could hold me together while I ate dinner with my dad and Elena's family. I was mad at myself. I was so disappointed by my actions.
Here I was trying to prove I was different, independent, a strong, smart woman, and then I go running to them for help. I knew how to clean up the mess. I had cleaned up the mess. I just needed to hide away the blood, and a change of clothes. This was the first time I was doing it by myself and I had panicked. Had I been alone at the house I would have gone there and changed and no one would have known. But the house was packed. I couldn't risk them seeing me like that. So I had run to the Cullens for help. I hated it.
I was a mess of feelings.
Regret.
Frustration.
Anger.
Betrayal to my own promises.
Abandonment.
I felt so small, and incredibly weak. What had all those months of training meant when I still needed help to clean up my mess? MY MESS. MY RESPONSIBILITY.
I heard footsteps, and smelled Stefan's scent in the night breeze.
Great. Just what I needed. Stefan.
"Bella?" he said as he walked towards me. His hands inside the pockets of his jacket.
"Stefan," I greeted him.
"Are you heading out for a hunt?" he asked.
"No, I'm actually not following that diet anymore," I snapped at him.
He looked surprised.
"I thought we had an understanding," he said.
That anger inside me? It started to boil.
"Yeah well, Carlisle gave me the blood bags, I assure you Elena is safe," I told him.
"Carlisle?" he asked.
I shrugged.
"I'm not okay with this," he said.
"I wasn't okay with your way either," I answered.
"Bella, if you only gave it a little more time," he said.
"What? If I gave it a little more time what? The urges would stop? My senses wouldn't be as numb? I'd become like you?" I asked.
"Elena-" he started saying.
"Don't bring Elena into this, this has nothing to do with her. Trust me I'm the first person that wants her safe. But safety is not going to come if we're weak," I spat.
"You are clearly upset about something, so I'm going to go," he said.
I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever Stefan," I said and walked in the opposite direction he was going.
Who does he even think he is?
I spent the night walking around the woods in circles. I didn't care where I was going, I just walked. I mumbled and argued with myself like a crazy person. I was speaking to myself out loud. I was so upset with myself.
The only reason why I started walking back towards the house was because the sun was starting to come out and Charlie was still here. I regained my composure and convinced myself I had to give an Academy Award worth performance in front of everyone today. Without Jasper's help.
I sat on the porch. No one was up yet.
I took out the notebook from one of the pockets in my jacket and started writing what had happened yesterday. I wrote down everything, every detail I remembered. From the minute I saw the guy in the hoodie, to the moment I finished cleaning up the mess. I wrote down the physical description of the two guys. What they said, how I felt, the impressions they gave me, everything I could remember.
"Dear Diary, Stefan is being a jerk," Jeremy whispered behind me.
I turned around and threw him the pen I was writing with, while putting away the notebook.
"What are you doing up? It's early," I asked.
"I don't sleep in much lately," he shrugged and sat next to me. He was holding a cup of coffee.
"That makes two of us," I replied.
We were quiet for a bit and then he spoke.
"Are you okay?" he asked me.
My stomach clenched, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I answered.
Act Bella, act.
"You look... weird," he told me.
Think of something.
"I mean, last night you were weird," he explained, "It's like you weren't even there at the table. Sure, you talked and participated in the conversation, but you weren't really there... you know? Are you okay?"
The best lies always have an element of truth, Damon had told me once.
"I changed my diet," I told him.
He raised his hand and gave me a high five.
I looked at him weirdly.
"Does Stefan know?" he asked.
"I ran into him last night, we got into an argument," I told him.
He shrugged, "Don't worry about it, just ignore him."
I rested my head on my knees. Jeremy was too observant. He noticed my awkwardness even when Jasper was holding me together. The truth is, I was thinking about Damon last night. All the time at dinner, I was thinking about Damon and where he was, and why he wasn't here, and if he was hurt, and if he was going to walk up the front steps and come have dinner with us at any minute. That was what I was thinking.
"You know... you could always ask Bonnie to help you find Damon," Jeremy suggested.
I raised my head. Since when did he know me so well?
"Bonnie never liked me, why would she do that?" I asked.
"Maybe not for you, but she'd do it for me... or for Elena," he answered.
As much as I wanted to see Damon, I was also super mad at him for being away so long, and I didn't want to seem too needy, or more needy than I was being already.
Suck it up Swan.
"I'll wait, he shouldn't be away long now," I answered, "Why would she even do it for you anyways?"
He smirked.
"Are you two…" I asked raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged.
"Does Elena know?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Are you even planning on telling her?" I asked surprised.
He winced.
"Oh you're going to be in trouble," I said.
He chuckled.
I looked at the sky, the sun had barely come out yet. I felt Jeremy looking at me, I turned around, he was smirking.
"What?" I asked.
He shook his head, "I haven't said anything."
"Spill it Gilbert," I told him.
"You.. seem to really miss him. I think I'd never see the day when someone actually missed Damon, may I remind you how much of a douche he can be?" he told me.
I pushed him.
I knew Damon could be a jerk. Normally he was, with everyone else. Not with me.
"He's my friend, he took me under his wing," I told him.
He started laughing.
"Really? Is that all he took you under? His wing?" he asked mischievously.
"I can hurt you, you know," I told him.
"I'm not scared of you Swan," he said pushing me back.
"Maybe you should be," I said under my breath.
He stared at me.
"What's really going on?" he asked, his face serious.
I looked down to the ground and shrugged.
"Bella, you can trust me, you know that right?"
I nodded.
"Is it about your change in diet?" he asked.
I looked up at him. He stared at me, his eyes then expanded in realization. He looked at the ground. His pulse accelerated.
We were quiet.
A tear streamed down my face. I wiped it away.
He moved closer to me, and put his arm around my shoulders. He wasn't looking at me, he just looked straightforward.
"You don't have to tell me anything, but if you want to, I'm willing to listen," he told me.
I shook my head no.
"I didn't mean to, I swear Jer," I told him.
He was quiet, but held me tightly.
"I swear I didn't mean to," I repeated.
He looked at me, "I believe you."
"Don't tell Elena, please," I begged.
"Don't worry about it," he told me.
After a while, Jeremy went out for a jog and I had retreated to my room, changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. I threw the covers over my head and hid there. As I laid under the sheets, I couldn't help feeling uneasy, a bit sick to my stomach. Last time, the aftermath of my previous indiscretion had included a hair massage and a night of drinking and a heart to heart conversation. This time, I was hiding in my room, I had washed my hair myself and I had spent the night running around the forest in circles talking to myself. Last time I felt I had support, this time I felt completely alone, even when I was in a house full of people.
The thing is, I do have support, but not the kind that I need, not the one that I want. Sure, the Cullens had my back now, but I didn't necessarily like it, or wanted their support at this moment. With Jeremy a few minutes ago, I had felt some kind of support; he wasn't judging me, he understood, even if I hadn't let him in on any details. Even though he understood, I don't think he really got it.
The truth is, I felt like I had no control over the things I did. I had as much control over my still dormant but surprisingly active unknown ability as I had control over the Cullens being here. I couldn't control myself when it came to the tugs that drove me into hurting or killing people. I had no control over the fact that they lived a mile away from our house. I definitely did not have any control of when Edward would decide to pop up. Or even worse, when Damon would come back.
Control. You might call it a life long obsession, but now that I thought about it, in our first year of birth we're already throwing fits, trying to control everything and anything that touches our lives. As humans, our addiction to control starts early and it doesn't end there. The terrible twos, the teenage years our whole lives are a constant battle between what we want and what stands in our way. Control. It's a dangerous obsession, take it too far and you could risk losing it all together.
"Bella?" I heard Charlie knock on my door and then slowly open it. He walked over to my bed, sat down and slowly took the covers off.
As my face appeared, I grinned at him. I had been crying and I hadn't even noticed it.
He wiped my tears away, "What do you say, we go fishing today?" he proposed.
I stared at him blankly. He didn't ask what was wrong, if I was okay, or anything. So I just nodded.
The drive up to the lake was quiet. I hadn't been on a fishing trip with Charlie since I was a little girl. So having this time to just be alone with him after so many months of not seeing him, was comforting. When I was younger I used to hate going fishing. Today, I was actually looking forward to it.
We were on the boat, both of us sitting quietly next to each other. My mind drifted off to last night again, the cop who was going to be murdered but who I saved. I wondered if Charlie had ever been in a situation like that. I feared for his life in Mystic Falls, with all the supernatural beings running around. Maybe he should move back to Forks, ask for his old job back, hang out with his friends.
"Hey Dad…" I said, Charlie glanced at me, "Have you thought about moving back to Forks?"
He was quiet, "The thought has crossed my mind, yes."
"Mystic Falls is a dangerous place, maybe you should move back," I told him.
He eyed me and shook his head, "Now you agree with me."
I chuckled. He had tried convincing me to do that before I had changed, and I had refused to do so. Now the rolls had changed and I was the one who worried about him.
"I just don't want anything happening to you," I whispered.
His face changed, eyebrows growing closer together.
"Bella, we never actually talked much after… everything. It was really hard for me trying to understand what had happened to you," he put down the fishing pole, and faced me, "I still don't get most of it… the fact that you are now, built differently doesn't make you different to me. You're still my little girl-"
"Dad…" I whispered. He raised his hand, he wasn't done.
"I know you've changed. It took me a while to accept it, but, you see, it's much easier to live in denial, we do it to protect ourselves from the things we don't want to acknowledge. But if we do that, then we're just living a lie, no matter what we tell ourselves. So, I've accepted it. I've been doing my research. I understand."
What was he getting at? This was the most I had ever heard Charlie speak in all my life. He had really given this speech a thought.
"There is nothing you can do, that will drive me away. I trust you Bells. I know who you are, how your mother and I raised you, and I know you'll always do the right thing."
"I don't know who I am Dad, not anymore," I told him.
"Yes you do. You are Bella Swan," he told me.
"I'm a monster Dad," I whispered as I looked down.
He grabbed my hands, "Bells, you are not a monster. You've been given a gift. The way you choose to see yourself limits who you can be. Step outside that box and you might learn something, because you are more capable of greatness than you imagine. Bells, we all have it in us to do things we've never done before," he looked at the water, "you know, when I first started working in the police force I saw so many criminal acts. When you get the first bad guys who have done so much wrong you always say, that is not me. I could never be like that. That person is undeserving… a monster," he looked back at me, his eyes gentle, "But after a few years you realize that it's an old story Bells. It's how wars begins, how people turn on each other. It starts so simply too. I am not you, I am nothing like you, and every time you say it, it's a lie. Because underneath all the layers of fear and the protection, we are at our core, the same. We have the same needs. We carry within us the same capacity for good and evil. Whether you are human or supernatural."
"Do you really believe that Dad?" I asked.
He stared at me. I looked into his big brown eyes. The same eyes that looked back at me everyday when I looked into the mirror.
He nodded.
My eyes teared up.
He looked back at our hands. He was still holding mine.
"When you were six there was a burglary at the local bank in Forks. A crazy man took the bank employees and a few customers hostage. Negotiating with him was difficult, we managed to get into the bank and take a few of the hostages out without him noticing. Once he did, he took a woman, put a gun to her head, and menaced with killing her if we didn't do as he ordered. Things got rushed, a gun was pointed at my partner and I shot the man who was holding the woman. He died at the scene."
I stared at him speechless. He looked up at me again.
"Taking a life can haunt you Bells," he said softly.
"Does it still haunt you?" I asked.
"He would have killed every man and woman in that bank if we wouldn't have come in, we found bombs afterwards. It doesn't haunt me anymore. I did the right thing. A lot of lives were saved that day."
"So you got over it?" I asked.
"You never really get over it, you make peace with it."
"You're a hero Dad," I whispered.
He grinned, "You can be one too."
I felt my heart sink. All this time I had been so rough on myself. Beating my brains out trying to figure out how Charlie would feel if he ever found out about what I had done. I thought he'd throw me into a prison cell, disapprove, and be so saddened by my actions.
"Bells, keep in mind that, we can't play God. We are not vindictive. We can't take matters into our own hands and become avengers."
I nodded, and leaned forward to hug him.
"Stay true to yourself. Don't chip away at your integrity," he added.
I shook my head, "I wont, I promise."
He released my embrace, "Well, now, where do you think we should throw the bait, because we're not getting any fish in this spot," he said as he took his fishing pole again and looked over the water.
I chuckled. Charlie had raised his walls again. I was more like him than I ever realized.
"Umm…" I looked around, "Why don't we head over there," I pointed to our left, "There seems to be a school of fish there."
Charlie grinned.
That night, after we arrived with a cooler full of trout, we had dinner together, the Gilberts, Swans, Stefan and Alaric. It felt pleasant. Even better than Thanksgiving dinner.
I fell asleep quickly that night. Followed by dreams of dark forests, red sunlight, evil laughter and fear. I was uneasy, restless and in my dream I ran. I ran and I fell and I ran again. Then with the last strength that I could master, I jumped and flew.
I woke up in the woods.
My pajamas ruined.
My hair messy.
Can vampires sleepwalk?
I walked back to the house, wondering about that odd dream and what it had meant. I couldn't help but feel uneasy. My stomach was completely clenched. Something was wrong, and I couldn't put my finger on what.
After taking a shower and having breakfast, Charlie and I headed into town, where he insisted on buying me a new cell phone, since I had told him I had ruined mine. We spent the day together. This time, no deep speech was made.
A few days after Charlie and Elena's family left, Carlisle came by the house. He rang the doorbell and I was the one who answered. No one else was there.
"Carlisle," I said in surprise.
"Bella," he greeted me.
"Stefan isn't in right now," I told him.
"I actually came looking for you," he told me.
"Oh," I said.
"Do you mind taking a walk with me?" he asked.
I paused. I wasn't sure I wanted to take a walk with Carlisle. The last time we had actually spoken was the night of the incident with the paper cut when he was cleaning my wounds, and talking about Edward's soul.
He had been respectful all this time, and he had been there for me during my last indiscretion. So I considered his proposal.
"Sure," I said as I walked outside the house and closed the door behind me.
Even though I was feeling a bit self conscious inside, considering how broken he had seen me the last time we saw each other. I couldn't let him see that, so today I didn't put my hands in the pockets of my jeans like I normally would in this kind of situation, and I didn't run my fingers through my hair. I just let the breeze hit my face and mess it up. I walked with my head high, never looking at my feet.
"I spoke with Stefan, and we came to an agreement, I assured him he didn't have to worry about Elena's safety as long as you continued to be on your normal diet," he explained, "we didn't tell him anything about the incident."
He walked with his hands behind his back, slowly.
"I've dealt with my share of vampires who are new to this way of life, and it isn't easy, specially when they don't know what triggers them," he continued.
"I believe, that until you know what triggers your actions, you should stick to your way. Whatever makes you comfortable. I respect your way of life, I understand it, which is why, if you let me, I'd like to help you," he pointed ahead, there next to a tree was a freezer.
I walked over to it and opened it. It was stacked.
"You don't have to do this, I can get my own," I told him.
"I know you do, but I know how to get them legally," he answered.
"I compel them pretty well," I told him, resting my weight on my hands, that were on the border of the open freezer.
"Yes.. you do, but, they will always end up missing, and missing bags go in reports, if they start noticing, they'll get suspicious," he explained.
"Thank you for the offer Carlisle, but, I can take care of myself," I told him.
"Bella, please, let me do this for you," he told me.
"I think you've done enough for me Carlisle," I told him.
"Please, let us take care of you, let us do this," he said.
"It's a little too late for that," I shrugged.
"Bella, please," he begged.
I looked at the packed freezer.
I've never been a person that holds on to grudges. Grudges you hold in high school, and I think I'm much more mature than this. Denying them everything was only making them more antsy to be around me.
The blood was already there...
I sighed.
"Only this time, because, how can I say no to an overflowing stash of bags?" I told him.
He grinned.
"I'll help you carry it back to the house," he suggested.
I nodded, taking one end while he took the other. When we reached the house, I said thank you and continued carrying it by myself.
I had yet to invite a Cullen into our house.
I placed the freezer in the basement, and making sure Stefan wouldn't "slip" I put on a lock that I had previously dunked in vervain. This way, if he ever felt the need to cheat, he'd get a warning. Kind of like a smack on the hand.
"So it seems like you're stocked till the apocalypse," Elena said. She was leaning on the doorway.
I grinned, "It's a gift."
"From who?" she asked walking towards me.
"Carlisle," I answered. Elena was quiet.
"So you've forgiven them?" she asked.
Had I?
"I don't know," I shrugged, "I mean, it's kind of childish to hold resentments isn't it?"
I sat on top of the freezer, she did the same.
"Well, I think that they hurt you pretty badly, and that you cared about them. You were blindsided by their departure, and it broke you down. But now you've put yourself back together, and you're stronger, and while yes, they hurt you is it something that you really want to be holding inside forever? For eternity?"
I had not thought about eternity.
"You are going to be around for a while," Elena said, "Are you going to make them suffer till the end of time?"
I shrugged.
"It's okay to forgive. I mean, sometimes we expect people, the people that we love, the people that we care about, to be like us in all kinds of ways and when they're not, we're disappointed. You can't expect people to be like you. Take Damon for example," she said, "Do you know how many times he has screwed up? How many times I've been so angry at him for the decisions he makes and the way he acts them out? How many times, in order to protect me, he's hurt others that I care about? He snapped Jeremy's neck once."
He had told me about that.
"I was really angry at him, but I got over it. I understood the reasons behind it, why he acted the way he did. Now, the question is, do you understand why they did what they did?"
I shrugged. I did.
"Then… it's time to move on. Take that burden off your shoulders and let go," she said.
"I don't think I can stand all of them," I confessed.
"For example?" she asked.
"Rosalie… and Alice," I said.
Elena sighed, "Phew!" she passed her hand over her forehead, "that's a relief!"
I chuckled.
"Emmett… Emmett is fun," I told her, "I've missed Emmett."
She grinned, "He looks a bit scary."
"No… he's just a big teddy bear," I said, brushing a strand of hair back.
"And what about the really serious one, the one you've been talking to?" she asked.
"I had never talked with Jasper as much as I have recently. I mean, we never actually had a conversation before. It's weird. I think out of all of them, he's the only one that I feel like I can trust. Not because he's influencing me to feel that way, because he can't if I don't let him, but because I actually feel like it's genuine."
"He's creepy," Elena blurted out, "He looks like he's about to poop in his pants."
I laughed.
"He's in pain most of the time, he feels what everyone feels so it has to be super painful," I explained.
Elena bobbed her head understanding what I meant.
"You know what? Do what your gut tells you. Just, follow your instincts on this one. Let them in, or shut them out, do what your gut tells you. If you want to forgive them, go ahead. Just make sure they know they can't walk over you again. You are a BAMF," Elena told me.
I cracked up, she joined me.
The next few days were calm. I decided not to go to my photography classes. I was avoiding crowds of people and anything that could trigger my attacks. I had also not been able to shake off the feeling of danger that was in the pit of my stomach. I had woken up in the middle of the night for a few days in a row and found myself jumping out the window and running to the woods without even noticing I was doing it. I always ended up in the same spot. I waited. But nothing came. Nothing popped up.
I felt like I had to be somewhere but I had no idea where. So I just ran, and then, when I saw it was pointless I ran back home.
Elena wanted to watch a movie on Netflix one night. It was just the two of us, Stefan had gone hunting with the Cullens. I was waiting for her in the living room while she finished making pop corn.
Jeremy finally had the guts to tell her about Bonnie and she wasn't too happy about it. She was rambling on and on about her feelings about the whole situation. I was trying to be a good listener but I was completely disconnected from the conversation. For the past few minutes I had been staring out the sliding glass doors that led outside. My eyes were fixed on a particular spot in the sky, the one that was between the top of the trees of our back yard.
It was a cold night. Not a cloud in the sky. No breeze either.
I couldn't take my eyes away from that spot. I couldn't. It was as if there was something there that I had to see.
I was feeling confused.
What was it that had me so mesmerized in that particular part of the sky?
I was feeling confused, suddenly tired, and anxious.
A small dot appeared between the trees. It was coming in this direction.
No, it was flying.
Me heart stopped.
I stood from the couch and walked towards the doors. My eyes still fixed on the small black dot.
I could hear Elena talking about something Jeremy said in the background, but I couldn't actually make out what it was that she was saying. It didn't really seem all that important.
As the dot came closer I noticed it had wings, and that it wasn't flying in a straight line, no. It was... wobbly, tired. It flew from side to side.
"Lena," I whispered.
She continued talking.
"Elena," I said louder.
The bird was not flying right. Was it... hurt?
Then it started falling, and as it fell, it shifted form.
I panicked.
I opened the doors without measuring my strength, and the glass shattered to the ground.
"DAMON!" I yelled.
I ran.
I ran as fast as I could.
Branches and leaves flew past me.
"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming," I said over and over as I ran in the direction he had fallen. My senses were all on. I could feel everything, hear everything, smell everything.
And there was blood.
And it smelt like something was rotting.
And I was scared.
I ran, and kept on running for what seemed like the longest time, considering the crow had not fallen that far away.
"Bella!" Elena yelled from somewhere behind me.
"He's hurt!" I yelled back.
I stopped running, he was near, I could feel it, but I couldn't see him anywhere.
My eyes scanned my surroundings. I was at the spot I had ran to every single day for the past week.
There, under a great old tree was a very hurt, very broken Damon.
I threw myself to his side. His shirt soaked in blood and in something I didn't know what it was, but that smelled really bad and putrid.
His pants were torn. He wasn't wearing any shoes.
He was shaking.
"I'm here, I'm here, I'm here," I whispered as I ran my hand gently through his hair.
"ELENA!" I yelled.
"It's going to be fine," I whispered.
For a brief second he opened his blue eyes and stared at me, "Hey..." I said.
"Hey... gorgeous," he said in between breaths and in a very groggy voice.
My stomach fluttered.
"I need to take you inside," I told him, "I'm taking you home. Don't fall asleep, keep your eyes on me okay?"
He closed and opened his eyes slowly. He was weak.
I stood up, and putting my hands beneath him, carried him back to the house. I ran carefully, but quickly.
"I'm here, I'm here," I kept telling him.
He coughed, and when he coughed, blood splattered all over my shirt.
I could hear Elena calling out my name. I hoped she hadn't followed me into the woods and gotten lost there, because I couldn't go looking for her when Damon was as hurt as he was.
As I made my way out of the forest line, Elena saw me and ran directly to us.
"Oh my God!" she screamed, "What happened to him?"
"I.. I.. I don't know, let's just get him into the house," I told her.
We walked past the shattered glass from the sliding doors I had broken on my way out and when I tried to go inside I couldn't.
"Invite us in!" I told her.
"What?! Come in, come in come in. Stupid curse can't see it's an emergency?" Elena blurted out in desperation.
I ran upstairs, Elena ran up behind me and after she cleared my bed I placed him on top of it. He has already passed out.
"What's happened to him?" Elena whispered in astonishment, looking at his body in the light.
"I don't know… we need Carlisle, he's the doctor, call Stefan," I told her. She ran to the phone and dialed Stefan's number.
No answer.
She left a crazy rambling message.
I ripped Damon's soaked shirt. Revealing deep wounds, from which the most disgusting smell was coming. Wood, and worms and puss and vervain.
Elena ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I got clean towels and started cleaning him up.
Blood was coming out of every wound, and it was not stopping.
"What can I do?" I Elena asked as she came out again.
"I don't know," I said as I tried stopping the blood from coming out.
"He needs blood, human blood," I told her.
"Got it," she said and ran downstairs. A few seconds later she showed up with her biggest beach tote full of blood bags.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
I kept repeating this over and over in my head.
Elena dropped the tote on the bed.
"Does Stefan have any surgical stuff here?" I asked.
Elena nodded and went running towards her room.
I grabbed the things she brought back and improvised an IV with the blood bags, and stuck a needle into Damon's arm.
A few seconds afterwards, Damon started seizing.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"I think he's rejecting the blood," Elena said.
"What? How? How is that even possible?" I whispered to myself in confusion.
Elena and I were working frantically to fix Damon up. Everything we did, didn't seem to work.
"You have to get better," I whispered, "I need you to get better, and I need you to get better quickly."
What are we doing wrong? How can I help him?
We started taking out bits of what seemed to be broken stakes and putting them in a bowl. Elena was getting sick by the sight of the nasty things that were coming out of Damon's body. I started putting worms and maggots in the bowl too, they were somehow were growing inside of him.
"Damon where the hell were you?!" I yelled as I continued to take out every trace of worm, stake, and vervain leafs I could find.
I needed him to heal. And heal quickly. Before any of the little bits of stakes found their way to his heart
I stopped.
"Elena, keep pressure on his wounds I'll be right back," I told her and ran down stairs.
I had hidden the bottle of wine that Sage had given me as soon as I got here. I got it and went upstairs again.
Opening it with my teeth, I started spraying drops of it on Damon's wounds. I stared at them. I had no idea how much he would need so that this thing started working it's magic. After a few seconds the wounds started healing slowly.
He was pale.
I couldn't give him human blood because he was rejecting it for some strange reason. So I did the next best thing. The same thing he had done with me when I was the one who was dying.
I bit my wrist and pressed it against his lips.
"Keep spraying the wine on the wounds," I told Elena.
She grabbed the bottle and did as I told her.
"You have to start drinking," I whispered into his ear, "I need you to start drinking."
And he did.
Relief ran through me.
"It's working," Elena said, relief in her voice.
I looked up. The traces of worms and stakes that were still inside his body were rising up as his body started to heal.
I grabbed a blood bag, and as I drank from it, Damon drank from me. He was still unconscious. His eyes were closed. He was sweating, but he was healing.
I sighed.
I rested my head on his. With my left hand I gently ran my fingers through his messed up hair.
"You scared me to death," I whispered, "I'm going to kill you for this."
Elena cleaned him up, I continued to give him the transfusion.
"Bella?" she said softly as she showed me Damon's hand, "his ring is missing."
I looked at his hand, he didn't have a ring. This could be problematic.
"I'll call Bonnie tomorrow, she can't deny me anything right now," she said and then asked, "What is this stuff?" as she studied the matte bottle of wine.
"That's a very special gift someone gave me," I told her. I was feeling a little drowsy. Maybe it was because every drop of blood I had went into Damon.
"It's some kind of very tasty, very powerful and rare, magic wine," I told her.
She slumped on the floor. We were both covered in dirt and blood. The sheets on the bed were dirty. Damon was still unconscious.
"That was scary," she told me.
I nodded, my head still leaning on his.
Elena's phone rang. She took it out of her pocket and showed it to me while she shook her head and rolled her eyes. It was Stefan.
"What's going on? Are you okay? Is my brother okay?" I heard Stefan say as soon as she answered.
She sighed, "He's fine now," she stood up from the floor and walked out the room as she explained what had happened.
I curled up next to Damon.
That sensation that I had for the past few days was gone. I wasn't restless anymore, I didn't have a knot. I was… home. Even though he was broken and I had fixed him I felt safe beside him.
"Where the hell were you Damon?" I whispered while running my hand through his hair.
My eyes were heavy. We had gone through five bags already.
"Don't ever do that to me again," I said softly.
"Never," he whispered.
I looked at him, he opened his eyes briefly before closing them again and passing out.
A/N:
Our boy has landed.
The Crow is home.
Review cause TVD comes back in a few weeks :)
