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DAILY PROPHET EXCLUSIVE; SON OF FAMOUS QUIDDITCH PLAYER BREAKS HARRY POTTER'S GODSON'S NOSE AT ENGAGEMENT DINNER!

The recently engaged- and very young-couple Lily Potter and her fiancée, Septimus Krum, hosted their engagement announcement dinner last night at the small London-based French bakery Chez Arnoud. Sixteen-year-old Lily is of course, the daughter of wizarding savior Harry Potter and his Quidditch-playing-turned-writer wife, Ginny Weasley. Septimus Krum is the son of world-renown Viktor Krum and Evokidya Iskra, a Bulgarian supermodel.

Reports come from the location that last night, that at approximately seven thirty seven p.m., there was much shouting to be heard from the fairy-lit back garden. "It was quite the ruckus," says a family insider, on the condition that they not be named. "Set [Septimus] said something under 'is breath to Teddy [Lupin], and the next thing you know, Set's punched 'im in the face! Knocked 'im to the ground, and everythin'; stood over 'im for a good while, yelling that Ted was a disgrace for a man, until Victoire [long time girlfriend of Lupin] ran forward and 'elped 'im up! What a way to ruin a nice dinner, and all. Lily was cryin', Niq [Dominique Weasley, daughter of curse-breaker Bill Wealsey and Triwizard champion Fleur Delacour] yelling at Teddy for whatever 'e did, and yellin' at Set for punchin' 'im. Pretty soon after that, Ted ran out, Victoire following him. We got a few glasses of elderflower wine into Lily and Dominique to calm them down, and 'Arry had a strong talk with Set. Was quite the event, I'll tell ya."

This is not the first time a Potter-Weasley family member has made our newspaper. Many might remember the startling announcement that came four years ago that then-sixteen Rosaline Weasley was pregnant with Scorpius Malfoy's child and they had eloped to Italy.

For an in-detail list of past Potter-Weasley family exploits, see pages eight and eleven.