Author's Note: I've been getting a few reviews about the whole BastilaxMalak thing (most notably the flame, but since the flame makes no sense like all flames do, I won't pay any mind to it) so let me explain my mindset a bit: I've both seen and read BastilaxRevan fanfics. Obviously, the pairing is only natural: she is your romantic interest in the game, after all (whereas Malak is the big bad guy). And since they're together in the game, it's easy to imagine them having always been together. But I thought I'd push the boundaries a little and try something I've never seen anyone do before.
Something else I haven't seen much of that I'm trying to push boundaries with: relationships between real people don't always stay the way they are. They change, they bend, sometimes they break. And I want to do the same thing with my fanfic. Pairings may not stay the same. Alignments may not stay the same. It may take quite a few chapters for changes to happen, but they will.
I do appreciate that people who find Bastila/Malak "ew" can still enjoy the story. Thank you for your reviews/criticism!
As for staying with canon, I only get my info from the games and as far as I know (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), there was nothing about Revan or Malak even knowing Bastila before the events of KOTOR 1 - except for maybe that kinrath cave thing with Malak and Bastila - so I took that as free game...
That must be a world record for the longest author's note ever... Happy New Year, everyone!
Disclaimer: In caveman: me no own kotor.
7. Old Friends
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The communicator console in Revan and Malak's room chirped loudly, jarring both Padawans from their early morning sleep.
Knowing it was Bastila, Revan rolled over in bed and closed his eyes. She'd been calling a lot lately, no doubt as lonely without Malak as he was without her. Revan would either leave or try to ignore them at these moments; it was both painful and uncomfortable to have to listen to it.
But the console kept ringing. He sat up and looked over at his friend's sleeping form, annoyed. "Are you going to get that?"
Malak muttered something unintelligible. Revan sighed and answered it himself. "Hi, Bastila."
He noticed that she was as beautiful as she had ever been. "Revan," she said, surprised. "I – it's been quite a while."
"Yeah, it has," he answered with a tired smile. Just three weeks that already felt like months. "So how have you been?"
"I'm alright," Bastila said a bit too quickly.
He cocked his head at her. "Are you sure?"
"I'm getting by." She fidgeted uncomfortably. "Is Malak there?"
Revan glanced behind him. "Just a second."
Only his friend's bald head was visible in the tangle of blankets. Revan shook Malak's shoulder but he didn't stir. He shook him again – this time more roughly – but it didn't earn him any better response than before.
"Bastila wants to talk to you," he said quietly.
"Go away," Malak whispered fiercely back. He glared – eyes wide and bloodshot – before rolling over, turning his back on his friend.
But that wasn't what bothered Revan the most: when Malak spoke, Revan caught the strong, sour odour of ale on his breath.
Disgusted, he returned his attention to the console. "Malak's still sleeping. But you could always call later. It's still pretty early."
"Oh." She seemed to deflate before his eyes. "Sorry, I keep forgetting the time difference. I'm sorry I woke you up."
"That's okay," he said brightly. "At least I get to talk to you."
"Revan –"
He held up a hand to stop her. "I know you said you don't want a romantic relationship. But you said you wanted to be friends, right? Friends don't avoid each other."
She smiled hesitantly. "I thought you were mad at me."
"Not anymore. It was stupid of me, really. I'm sorry for taking the two closest people in your life away from you."
"No, I understand. You wanted to see something new. Have an adventure. There wasn't anything left for you here."
There was you. "Hang in there, Bastila. We would be there with you if we could."
For a moment, Revan considered telling her that the Jedi Masters had all but forced him to Coruscant. Forced him away from Kreia and split the three of them up. After all, why else would they have told him he could only choose one of them? But he realized he didn't want to burden her with it; she probably had enough to deal with already.
"I miss you," he said, so quietly he wasn't sure she'd heard him.
"I miss you too." Suddenly she blinked and looked away, as if guilty over what she had said. "I have to go, Revan."
The connection cut before he could say anything else.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it was too much to ask for any conversation between them to not be awkward. In the reflection of the black console screen, he watched his best friend sleep. If only there was a way to get Bastila to open up, to talk to her without Malak just behind him or at the very least know what she was thinking for once...
Revan got into bed eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. It was a while before he could fall asleep again.
* * *
"Master, how much did Master Dorak tell you about me coming here?"
Revan and Jedi Master Zhar were sitting in the droid room, fiddling with the different parts. The Padawan used this time as a break from his many studies and lessons. Somewhere during these times, Zhar had become not only a mentor, but a friend. And since Malak was becoming more and more distant, he had no one else to ask.
The twi'lek took a long pause before answering. "You were sent here for additional training. To be given the chance to develop skills that other Padawans from Dantooine can only dream of."
"But that isn't the only reason is it?"
Again, a long pause. "The Council must think of what is best for everyone."
"That's exactly what Dorak told me," the Padawan muttered, irritated. "Can't anyone just give me a straight answer?"
"The Council would not have you know."
"It isn't fair," Revan said vehemently. "They can't just send me here without telling me the real reason why."
"Life is rarely fair. The only thing we can do is trust that the right decision has been made. We must trust in their wisdom."
"Do you?" Revan said without thinking.
When the Jedi Master stayed silent, Revan suddenly realized that he may have crossed the line. How could he even question Mast Zhar's faith in the Council?
The Padawan was just about to apologize when Zhar admitted reluctantly, "Yes and no. Had you asked me before I knew you, I would have answered yes without hesitation. But I am beginning to think that yours is a special case and perhaps the truth should not be kept a secret..."
"But why would it have to be a secret?"
Master Zhar's clear eyes pierced through him. "The Council has decided to keep special watch over you, and rightly so. You are one of the brightest pupils I have ever seen in my many years. They – and I – see much potential in you and would hate to see it wasted."
"But why would they separate me from my friends?"
"You must have noticed by now that you have an interesting effect on your peers. They hang on your every word. They see everything you say and everything you do...and they follow."
Revan's mind flashed back to Vrook's face at the end of class. So that was why the Jedi Master had looked unsettled.
Zhar continued, "Master Dorak even compared it to a Force bond, but I am sure that is an exaggeration. To even consider that you could unconsciously form Force bonds with others..."
"A Force bond?"
"It is exactly what it sounds: a bond that manifests itself in the Force when each person in the bond fully understanding the other. That is why such bonds are commonly formed between Master and Padawan, but only after years of training together. Through it, one can often sense or influence the other's emotions and thoughts."
"So it is a form of communication," Revan clarified slowly.
"In a sense, but it can also be more than that. It has been said that when one uses Force powers, the other gains the benefits as well."
The Padawan paused. "Can someone create a Force bond?"
Zhar regarded Revan and again he felt that swift, searching gaze that seemed as though it were seeing into the depths of his mind. "Be mindful of your words, Padawan. I have already shared more than I was told to. Other, more conservative Masters would chastise you just for the thought."
"I was just curious," the young Jedi answered hastily. "I wasn't planning on trying myself."
Why did Jedi everywhere he went insist on admonishing him about the dangers of the Force? He felt as if he were a small child and the Masters were his parents, constantly fussing over him and believing that he couldn't handle figuring things out on his own.
"I will say no more on the matter except this: Force bonds can cause harm as well as good. They can offer unparalleled advantages in battle, but they can also work against those using them. Such bonds are permanent and there have been tales of partners who become enemies, and one uses it to manipulate or kill the other. In many of these cases both end up dead."
All Revan could think about was Bastila, but he met Zhar's gaze steadily. "I understand, Master."
* * *
"Zhar, my old friend."
"Master Dorak," the twi'lek greeted with a grin. "It is good to talk to you."
"Likewise," the holographic image of the historian replied. "How are things on Coruscant?"
"The same as ever. And Dantooine?"
"Quiet, for the most part. But I'm afraid I didn't just call to talk. How is Padawan Revan's training progressing?"
"Revan has taken an interest in Force bonds – although he has shown the same enthusiasm for all other aspects of his studies, so perhaps it is nothing."
"Perhaps." Dorak paused. "I know that it must be hard for you, close friends as you are, to keep asking you how he is doing. As if we are asking you to spy on him. I am sorry the Council is putting you in this position. That I helped put you in this position."
"Do not apologize. I am just as concerned with Revan's well-being as the Council. Albeit for different reasons."
The historian's eyebrow arched in surprise. "What reasons?"
"I am not concerned with whether or not he becomes the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever known. I am concerned about the boy."
"We are not so callous as that," Dorak said defensively. "Of course we care for the boy; we've been with him his whole life up to recently. But you cannot deny that he could save many lives down the road. And the Force holds a great destiny for him – surely you have sensed that as well."
"Yes, but are you sure that we can even train him to that perfect ideal? We cannot treat him like a child, trying to hide everything that could cause harm from him, and we cannot treat him like a man, who would not waver from what is right. Revan is neither and I fear that this edge we have chosen is too narrow to walk."
"You sound like you have doubts."
Zhar sighed heavily. "Today, he asked me the real reason the he was sent here. And I told him, even though the Council explicitly told me not to. It wasn't until he asked about creating Force bonds that I realized perhaps even I am not beyond his mysterious influence."
"I do not think that this was the same as the incident in Vrook's class," Dorak said slowly. "You told him because you care for him. I don't begrudge you for it; sometimes I too wonder if the Council keeps too many needless secrets."
"All the same, perhaps it would be better if someone else took the job of watching him – someone with less of a conflict of interest."
"It's too late for that, Zhar: the Council has already decided that Revan is to be apprenticed to you. You will be his only teacher from now on."
"In that case, I suppose I have no choice in the matter."
"No, I'm afraid not. But I'm sure it won't be a problem. Goodbye, old friend. And good luck."
* * *
Revan scrubbed the tiredness from his eyes, trying to concentrate on the holodesk in front of him. The words on the screen were starting to blur and jumble together. He'd read one line only to realize that he'd already read it three times before.
The Jedi Archives – fairly busy when the Padawan had first entered – had slowly emptied as most of the other students drifted off to bed. But Revan stayed behind, scanning page after page for a deeper explanation of Force bonds. So far, all he came across were vague mentions here and there which only made him more curious and more frustrated.
He wouldn't sleep, not until he found what he was looking for.
He refused to lose hope. There had to be some way to make Bastila see what he felt. Hadn't Zhar said that it could be formed with two people who fully understood each other? Revan had known her for years as a close friend and been in love with her for almost as long. Surely that was enough. There had to be a way to consciously form a Force bond...he only had to find it.
"Do you require assistance, Padawan?"
Revan nearly fell out of his chair. He turned to see a middle-aged woman watching him politely. She was dressed in the traditional robes of a Jedi archivist with her hair contained in a neat bun.
"Um, actually, I'm looking for information on Force bonds...in particular how they're formed. All I can find are mentions of it. Nothing concrete or detailed."
"Then perhaps I can help."
Revan moved aside as she took over the holodesk, her fingers moving quickly across the screen. He watched over her shoulder as she scanned the many databases, just as he had. "I already tried that."
"The Jedi Archives is the most extensive library in the galaxy. However, there are some records only archivists can access, if requested by the student of a Master. Whose assignment is this for?"
"Master Zhar," he lied.
"Very well." Within a few moments, a new window popped onscreen. "I believe this may be what you are looking for. If you need anything else, ask for Madame Atris at the front desk."
"Thank you."
Revan waited until the librarian left before reading the article she had found for him. He felt guilty, studying Force bonds behind Zhar's back and even using his name as a cover. But he needed to know if there could ever be anything between him and Bastila. Revan copied the files onto his personal datapad and withdrew to his room.
The article was written by a Jedi named Ferrin Draal, who had lived around a hundred years prior and studied Force bonds exhaustively. Included in the study were not only Force-sensitives, but normal people who seemed to be able to form bonds without ever being able to control or sense the Force beyond it. Apparently, one did not have to be Force-sensitive (bonds often formed between family members, in particular identical twins), but the strength of the bond increased with the strength of the partners' Force abilities.
Revan supposed that made sense since the Force touched all life, not just that sensitive to it. But if bonds could form naturally with those who weren't even aware of it, surely there was a way to have some kind of control over the process. There was more to the article, but the Padawan could feel sleep creeping slowly but surely over him.
He wondered what Bastila was doing until he fell asleep, datapad in hand.
