Chapter 7: Meet Damia Rasyid
"Hello mother" she said softly. She was so happy to see her. It'd been so long. She just hoped her mother was happy to see her too. Shock was more on her face than happiness. AJ waited a moment for it to register with her mother it was her standing there. Finally her look of surprise gave way and a smile took its place.
"Dollah Aisyah" she said excitedly. She stepped out and wrapped her arms around her daughter whom she hadn't seen in over a year. She pulled away and looked at her for a moment. AJ was wearing jeans and yellow short sleeved shirt. Her hair was uncovered and braided from one side of her head to the other and laying over her shoulder. Her smile slowly faded the longer she looked at her. "Salam ditujukan kepada anda" she said softly.
"Kedamaian, rahmat dan berkat Tuhan kepada kamu" she said back.
"Datang". She took her daughter by the hand and led her inside. She closed the door and ushered her to the living room to sit down. She went to the kitchen and came back with a tea tray. She set the tray on the table and took a seat next to her daughter. She put a bag in both their cups and filled them with water. "Adakah anda baik?" she asked in Malay. It wasn't that she couldn't speak English. It was a popular language in Malaysia, especially in the business sector which her husband was a part of. But she never liked to speak it in their home even after they moved to the US. She picked up one of the cups and handed it to AJ before picking her own.
"Yes" AJ said nodding. "I am. Aku mempunyai kerja yang saya nikmati. Saya telah membuat kawan. How are you, mom?" she asked taking a sip of her tea.
"Baik".
"I tahu bahawa ayah masih marah dengan saya tetapi saya memerlukan bantuan anda" she said getting to the reason she'd come. Her mother looked at her and nodded as if telling her to go on. "I want to go to school" she said plainly. "Like Haleel and Amal and Daud. I've applied to schools but I have to send them my records from high school" she explained. "I thought you might have them".
Damia Izara Rasyid was a very strong woman and, like her husband, rooted in tradition. She followed the teachings of Islam and the traditional customs of her culture her entire life. Then she moved with her husband and children to an entirely different country with different teachings and cultures. She was experiencing the melting pot that she'd always heard America was. Her children were given opportunities she never had and seeing things she'd never been exposed to. After just six months of life in this country, she lost her daughter. It'd been the most painful thing she'd ever been through but, like AJ, Damia wasn't one to argue. She'd watched her daughter pack her things and leave their home, not knowing if or when she'd return. Mikhail, her husband and AJ's father, had been furious when she left. He forbad Damia from trying to bring her home. He said when she was ready to do right by her family, she'd come home on her own. Now, seeing her daughter almost two years later she realized that nothing that happened before mattered. She was her daughter and she loved her. She didn't want to be without her any longer. She set her tea down on the table, got up from the couch and went upstairs. Five minutes later she came back down with a box. She sat down with the box in her lap and took the lid off. AJ finished her tea and set her cup back on the tray.
"Aku menyimpan semua surat-surat penting di sini" she said going through the box. She pulled out AJ's certificate of completion from when she finished high school and found all of her grade cards then handed them to her daughter.
"Terima kasih" she said as she took the papers from her. Her mother reached up and touched her daughter's hair. It was braided in the way she used to do for her. She'd always loved brushing her daughter's long, thick hair.
"Miss you" she said finally speaking to her in English.
"I miss you too, mom". Tears welled up in her eyes and she laid her hand over her mother's.
"You come home?"
"No" AJ said softly. "I can't come home" she said sadly. "Maybe you can come to the city and see me" she said hopefully.
"The city?" AJ nodded.
"Di mana I tinggal" she explained. "Anda tidak perlu beritahu ayah". Damia thought about it for a minute then nodded her head.
"Yes" she said with a smile. AJ's smile grew wider at her mother's agreeing to come visit her. She looked into the box and found a pen and another piece of paper with her name on it and wrote down her number.
"Memanggil saya apabila ayah tidak adalah rumah. kita akan bercakap lebih lanjut mengenai ia". Damia looked at the number and nodded her head. AJ got up from the couch and went to the door. She wanted to stay longer but she couldn't risk it. She knew what her father's schedule was but it'd been nearly two years. She didn't know how or if it'd changed. It was safer for her to leave now and plan her for mother to visit her in the city instead. She turned around to her mother before leaving, "I mencintai kamu".
"I mencintai kamu terlalu". AJ gave her a hug, lingering for a minute, then turned and left the house to head back to Manhattan. When she got home, she looked over the papers her mother had given her. She couldn't believe she'd save all of her grade cards. Her father used to put her brother's achievement on display. He was a proud father of three sons. He paid so much attention to them that he never had time for her. Her mother tried to compensate for his inattention of her. She gave her all of her time, doted on her. It's a wonder AJ didn't end up a spoiled brat. But no amount of attention her mother gave her could make up for a father who couldn't care less that she was there. But things changed when they moved to the states. She became a great asset to him and he started to give her more attention than she wanted. Finally she made up her mind that her only choice was to leave. Now she was on her own and doing well for herself. She finally had the chance to do some of the things she never thought she would, school being one of them. Now all she had to do was finish her applications and wait to see which schools, if any, accepted her.
Later that day she called Amanda and asked if she could come over to her apartment. She needed her help in finishing her applications. Of course, Amanda said yes. She took a cab over to her apartment and went upstairs. When Amanda opened the door, AJ, as always, greeted with her a smile. Amanda stepped aside to let her inside then closed and locked the door behind her. AJ bounded happily into the apartment over to the living room and sat down on the couch. Amanda walked over and joined her.
"So I have them" she said looking into her bag and pulling out the papers her mother had given her. Amanda took them and looked them over. "They're my grade cards from high school. That's what I need right? To finish my applications?"
"Um, yes" she said looking at her grades, "but they'll need an official transcript". AJ's smile fell.
"But this is all I have" she said disappointed. "I also have my Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia" she said pulling another paper from her bag and handing it Amanda. "It's like a diploma".
"Uh, maybe we should get you another appointment to talk to an admissions counselor" Amanda suggested. "They'd be able to tell you if they'll accept these".
"Ok" AJ said softly. She'd lost the excitement she'd come into the apartment with.
"What's wrong?" Amanda said noticing her change in mood.
"Nothing. This is just….harder than I thought".
"Well, we're almost there" she reassured her. "There's still time for you to get in before the fall semester starts". AJ gave a weak smile and nodded her head. "So how'd you get these?" Amanda asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you said you didn't have any of your high school records" she said remembering AJ worrying about that part of the paperwork.
"I, uh, I found them" she lied, "in some of my stuff". Amanda could tell that she wasn't telling the truth.
"Oh, ok" she said.
"That's not true. I didn't find them" she admitted. "I went to see my mother today. She gave them to me". Amanda's eyes widened at her admission. From all of their conversations, she'd concluded that AJ didn't have a relationship with her parents since they moved to the states. "She was surprised to see me. It's been a long time".
"How long?" she asked.
"Almost two years now" she said adding the time in her head.
"I haven't seen my mom since I moved up here. I've even been home a couple times but I still haven't visited her". She wanted AJ to know that she wasn't alone in having family troubles. Granted she'd never really had a close relationship with her mother but still, she wanted AJ to know that she understood.
"Why not?" AJ asked. "Why don't you see her when you're home?"
"We have a complicated relationship and we were never really close anyway" she explained. "It's just usually drama when I see her so I just….don't". AJ nodded her understanding.
"She's agreed to come here" AJ said, her smile back full force. "My mother" she clarified. "She's agreed to come into the city to see me".
"That's great" she said excited for her.
"Yes. I've really missed her". She thought for a moment about whether or not to ask her next question. She didn't want to impose on Amanda but she also didn't want to explain. After some thought, she decided to go for it and ask. "Do you think….would it be okay if she came here?" she asked hesitantly.
"Here as in here, my apartment here?" Amanda asked confused. AJ nodded nervously awaiting her answer, hoping she didn't ask why. "Uh, sure" she said agreeing. AJ sighed in relief but it was short lived. "Why?" She asked the one question AJ was hoping to avoid.
"I just, I can't take her to my apartment" she answered vaguely.
"Why not?" Amanda knew that if she wanted more information about the situation with AJ and her family now was her chance to get it.
"Well, she said she wouldn't tell my father but, just in case, I don't want her to know where I live" she said honestly.
"Why can't she tell your father?" Amanda asked hoping to finally get the whole story on what AJ was running from.
"It's complicated" she said softly. "I can find somewhere else to take her if you…."
"No" Amanda said stopping her midsentence. "You can bring her here".
"Thank you" AJ said gratefully.
"You're welcome". AJ looked at the time and decided she should head home. If she left now, she'd get home in time for her prayers. She gathered her papers and returned them to her bag. Amanda offered to drive her but she declined saying she'd take a taxi. She said good night and headed for the door before Amanda could offer any arguments. She closed and locked the door behind her then went to room to shower and get ready for bed. The next couple days, AJ got the high school records part of her applications done but found out she'd have to take either the ACT or SAT and send those scores in before her application was complete. She hadn't done any college entrance testing in Malaysia and the admissions counselor said her applications wouldn't be considered until she got those done. She gave her some books to help her prepare and a list with dates of when she could take the exams. She recommended that she take both just to be safe. AJ thanked her and went on her way.
When Amanda called her later that night, she was deep into the prep books the advisor had given her. She'd already signed up to take both the ACT and the SAT and she had to do well the first time around. There might not be time for her to retake them before the fall semester started. They didn't talk for very long because Amanda could tell that AJ wasn't really into the conversation. She was more focused on studying for her exams. They made plans to meet for lunch the next day and got off the phone. About twenty minutes after she got off the phone with Amanda there was a knock at her door. She put her books on the table and went to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw it was Lily. She unlocked the door and let her in.
"I haven't talked to you in a few days" Lily said coming into the apartment. They went over to the couch and sat down.
"Yeah, I've been busy" she said crossing her legs with her feet under her butt. "I have to take the ACT and SAT this Saturday. One in the morning and the other's in the afternoon. Which did you take?" she asked.
"The ACT" she answered.
"Is it hard?"
"Not really" she said. She saw the prep books on the table. "Just do the practice tests in the back of the books and you'll be fine". AJ nodded and grabbed the ACT prep book from the table. "So you're really serious about this? Going to school for accounting?"
"Mm hmm" she mumbled in assent.
"And the cop is helping you?"
"Her name is Amanda and yes she is" AJ said still looking down at her book.
"Is that why you haven't talked to me in almost a week?" Lily asked. "I'm sorry but I did it for you. I just don't trust her and I don't think you're being cau…."
"Lily, what are you talking about?" AJ asked confused. "What did you do?"
"She didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"I went to her job to talk to her; to tell her to leave you alone".
"I didn't ask you to do that".
"I know you didn't but I was just trying to look out for you" she said defending her actions. "I just think you too careless with her. I thought if anyone would be able to tell her to stay away it'd be her boss".
"You talked to her boss?" Lily nodded.
"Amanda wasn't there and her boss asked me what I needed".
"Lily" AJ said with a sigh.
"I was trying to help you. What other reason could she have for tracking you down?"
"She just wants to be my friend" she answered. In the back of her mind she was thinking that Amanda wanted to be a lot more but she still wasn't considering that just yet.
"And wanting to know your address and recommending Haleel's school; what was that?"
"She just wanted to pick me up at my building that's all and I already told you Haleel's school has a really good accounting program" she explained. "She doesn't work for him. If she did he would've found me by now. She knows enough that she would just tell him but she hasn't because she doesn't know him" she said firmly. "I know you're trying to protect me, Lily, but you have to stop this. Please".
"Fine" she finally agreed. "But I don't have to like her". AJ laughed.
"You don't even know her" AJ pointed out. "Maybe you should meet her, really meet her. Talk to her. You'll see what I see. She's a good person".
"Yeah maybe" Lily said still skeptical. AJ chuckled.
"Just say you'll meet her. The three of us can go out somewhere" she suggested.
"Fine" she said again. AJ smiled happily at Lily agreeing to give Amanda a chance. She would love it if Amanda and Lily could get along. Now all she had to do was ask Amanda if she'd want to go out with Lily. AJ spent the next few days studying for the ACT and SAT. She went to Amanda's to take some practice tests. She timed her and then graded them after. If the actual tests went as well as her practice tests, she would be just fine. The day was finally here for AJ to take her tests and she was really nervous. She was sitting outside the testing room when Amanda walked up and sat down next to her. She felt herself relax almost immediately. She told her not to worry, that she was well prepared for this. She wished her luck and watched her walk in to take her test. She came out of the room almost four hours later.
"How'd it go?" Amanda asked.
"I think it well" AJ said unsure of herself. "The math was easy" she said not surprising Amanda since math was her thing. "The science was okay. I'm not sure that I did so well on the English part" she said with a small chuckle. "The writing portion was difficult too. It was optional. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it". Amanda shook her head.
"I'm sure you did great" she said encouragingly. "You did great on the practice tests".
"Yeah, but I wasn't so nervous for the practice tests".
"When's your next one?"
"I have an hour" she said after looking at her watch.
"You hungry?"
"Not really" she said honestly. "But I'll go with you if you want to get something".
"Ok". They walked to a pizza parlor down the street. Amanda bought two slices, one for herself and one for AJ just in case she got hungry.
"So, Lily told me that she went to your job and talked to your boss" AJ said looking across the table at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was going to" she said, "but you were in such a good mood and it was nice to hear you so excited about work and school. I didn't want to ruin that. Then a couple days went by and it just seemed pointless to tell you".
"Well, I'm sorry she did that. I hope she didn't get you into any trouble". Amanda shook her head.
"She didn't" she said simply.
"I didn't tell her to do that; to talk to you or your boss" she assured her.
"I know".
"I would really like it if you and Lily could get along, maybe even be friends" she said softly. She was afraid that after what Lily had done, Amanda wouldn't be interested. "She said she's willing to try to get to know you better" she paused for a moment to see if she'd have a reaction. She didn't. "Would you please try?" she asked. Amanda could tell that it was important to AJ so she nodded.
"Yeah. I'll try" she agreed. AJ smiled and thanked her. She reached over and took the other slice of pizza and they talked until it was time for her to go back to take her exam. It was another near four hours for the SAT. By five thirty, Amanda and AJ were sitting down to dinner at an Indian restaurant. AJ had finally let go of the nerves she'd had all day. Now that the tests were over, there was nothing for her to do but wait for the results and hope they were good. They stayed at the restaurant for a couple of hours before asking for the check. AJ grabbed the check before Amanda had a chance to reach for it. She couldn't let her pay again. They left the restaurant and Amanda drove AJ home, or at least close to home, then headed home herself. She took Frannie out for a walk and got a call from AJ while she was out. She'd gotten a call from her mother that she'd be able to come to the city the next day and she wanted to make sure it was still okay to bring her to her apartment. Amanda said it was fine. She'd be at work but she could leave a key for her. AJ thanked her again for allowing her to use her place. They talked for a while longer then said good night.
The next morning, AJ woke up early. She was so excited for her mother to come visit. She went to Amanda's and found the key she'd left for her then went to the store. She bought a bunch of stuff and took it back to her apartment to waste time until her mother arrived. She figured they could cook together like they used to. In the kitchen was where they always had the most fun. Part of the deal in Amanda letting her use her apartment was that she look after Frannie. It wasn't a hard sell. Frannie Mae is a great dog and AJ takes care of pets all of the time. When it was time to go get her mother, she found Frannie's leash and hooked it to her collar, grabbed her phone and the key to Amanda's apartment then headed out. She was waiting restlessly with Frannie for the ferry to dock, checking her phone to make sure her mother hadn't called her. Finally, the ferry approached and she looked around for her mother. She wasn't hard to spot being the only woman in the crowd wearing a chador. Damia saw her daughter and approached her with a bright smile. They embraced one another then AJ led the way to Amanda's apartment. When they got inside, she let Frannie off her leash and invited her mother to make herself comfortable.
"ini adalah pangsapuri anda?" she asked looking around.
"No" she said shaking her head. "ini adalah pangsapuri kawan saya. Amanda, namanya adalah Amanda. This is Frannie Mae" she said leaning down to pet Frannie. "I'm watching her today while Amanda is at work" she said not wanting to explain the real reason she brought her there instead of her own apartment.
"Oh" Damia says in understanding. "ia adalah bagus". AJ smiled at her mother as she looked around the apartment. She was so happy to have her here.
"How long can you stay?" AJ asked bringing her mother's attention back to herself.
"ayah anda akan menjadi dalam mesyuarat sepanjang hari" she said happily. "I thought I'd take an evening ferry back". AJ's smile grew bigger at the thought of getting to spend the entire day with her mother.
"Great" she said excited. "I went to the store" she said walking over to the kitchen. "I thought we could cook together again". Damia's face lit up and she walked over to join her daughter without a word. They washed their hands and got to cooking many of the things Damia had taught her to cook when she was growing up. Damia went on and on about what was going on close to their home. She talked about how she'd made new friends at the mosque and had joined a sewing club. She told AJ about how her father had been and what her brothers were doing; that even though they didn't show it, they all missed her very much. AJ had less to tell. She told her mother about her job at the coffee shop, her friends, and how she'd just finished her college applications. They cooked and talked and ate some of what they cooked. They took a break after lunch to take Frannie for a walk in the park.
"adakah anda masih mengatakan solat anda?" Damia asked as they walked through the park.
"Everyday" AJ said with a nod.
"dan Ramadan?"
"I did that too" she said. "I haven't abandoned my faith mother" she assured her. She didn't say anything. She just smiled and took her daughter's hand and they continued their walk. AJ called Lily and she came to the park to meet Damia. They found a nice place to sit and talk. Lily asked all kinds of questions about what AJ was like growing up and even asked the question AJ avoided, what would happen if her husband found out she was visiting her. Both AJ and Damia were uncomfortable with the question and unsure of the answer. They brushed it off and continued the conversation as if that question hadn't been asked. They finally left the park and headed back to Amanda's apartment. AJ and her mother went about cooking AJ's favorite meal for dinner: vegetable curry, roti jala, nasi lemak, and popiah. She hoped Amanda would be home before her mother had to leave so they could meet.
It was five o'clock and they were just finishing up with dinner when Amanda walked in. She smiled when she saw AJ in the kitchen with her mother. She was smiling and laughing and looked completely relaxed. Frannie brought it to their attention that Amanda was home. AJ seemed more excited to see her than any other time since they'd met. She went over to Amanda and took her by the hand and pulled her into the kitchen.
"ibu" she said getting her mother's attention. "ini adalah Amanda" she said with a bright smile. "Amanda this is my mother, Damia Rasyid".
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Rasyid" Amanda said extending her hand. Damia hesitantly took her hand and gave a light shake.
"And you" Damia replied. "Dollah says you've been a great friend to her".
"She makes it easy" Amanda said glancing over at AJ. She was still holding on to her hand and Amanda was savoring the moment. Damia's eye glanced several times at their still connected hands. AJ quickly pulled her hand away and started to tell Amanda about what they'd made for dinner. They had dinner together and talked until it was time for Damia to leave. Amanda drove them to the ferry and AJ got of the car to say goodbye to her mom.
"Will you call me when you get home?" AJ asked. "Just to let me know that you made it safely".
"I will" Damia said softly. She was sad to leave her daughter again. "Menjaga diri anda".
"I will" she said with a soft smile. "Salam ditujukan kepada anda".
"Kedamaian, rahmat dan berkat Tuhan kepada kamu" she said back. They hugged each other one more time, then Damia hurried to board the ferry. AJ gave one last wave goodbye then turned and got back in the car with Amanda and started the drive home. Amanda got to the corner where she'd dropped AJ off many times before when AJ told her to make a right, then a left and pull over.
"This is it" AJ said pointing to the building across the street. "This is where I live". Amanda smiled and nodded her head. She'd finally gained enough of AJ's trust to know her apartment building. She wondered how much more trust she'd need to gain to know which apartment she lived in. "Thank you" AJ said pulling Amanda from her thoughts, "for letting my mother come to your apartment. It really means a lot to me that you allowed that".
"Of course" Amanda said softly. "It was nice meeting her".
"I think she liked you" AJ said with a smile.
"I liked her too".
"Will you come over tomorrow?" AJ asked abruptly.
"Here?" Amanda asked confused. AJ laughed.
"Yes, here; to my apartment" she clarified. "We can have dinner". Amanda nodded her head.
"I would love to" she said without hesitation.
"Great". AJ opened the door and hopped out of the truck and shut the door. She crossed the street and, for the first time, Amanda watched her enter her building. Amanda felt like she was on cloud nine. AJ was really letting her guard down and opening up. Amanda didn't think it'd be long before she knew more of AJ's story and could share more of her own.
Malay-English Translation
Salam ditujukan kepada anda- Peace be upon you
Kedamaian, rahmat dan berkat Tuhan kepada kamu- Peace, mercy, and blessing of god be upon you
Datang- come
Adakah anda baik- Are you well?
Aku mempunyai kerja yang saya nikmati. Saya telah membuat kawan- I have a job that I enjoy. I have made friends
Baik- well
I tahu bahawa ayah masih marah dengan saya tetapi saya memerlukan bantuan anda- I know that father is still angry with me but I need your help
Aku menyimpan semua surat-surat penting di sini- I keep all my important papers here
Terima kasih- Thank you
Di mana I tinggal. Anda tidak perlu beritahu ayah- Where I live. You don't have to tell dad
Memanggil saya apabila ayah tidak adalah rumah. kita akan bercakap lebih lanjut mengenai ia- Call me when daddy isn't home. We'll talk more about it
I mencintai kamu- I love you
I mencintai kamu terlalu- I love you too
ini adalah pangsapuri anda- this is your apartment?
ini adalah pangsapuri kawan saya. Amanda, namanya adalah Amanda- this is my friend's apartment. Amanda, her name is, Amanda.
ia adalah bagus- it is nice
ayah anda akan menjadi dalam mesyuarat sepanjang hari- your father will be in meetings all day
adakah anda masih mengatakan solat anda- do you still say your prayers?
ibu, ini adalah Amanda- Mother, this is Amanda
Menjaga diri anda- take care of yourself
