I've had this these two chapters(this and the last) in my files for a while but I just never found enough energy to actually do so until now. But yeah i hope you all chapter is little too extreme but it's k+ for a reason and i have my reasons for what i put Jackie through. One day, after I've finish this whole series will I actually explain and maybe write an analysis... Rate and Review please... with sugar on top? =D


Living with two men… no not even… boys had made my life extremely difficult. From accidentally walking in when they were changing-which they finally resorted into doing less and less since I was around- to bickering over if Halo or chocolate was better, I was always caught in the middle. After 3 weeks or so did they finally get comfortable with a girl's presence, since I'd basically become one of the guys anyway.

I'd taken up the task of learning how to use a gun. I no longer was afraid of holding one… or even shooting, but I was still mentally unstable to take on the idea of killing a living creature. And so…. Mello and Matt after showing me their Mafia business as if I were their little apprentice, they'd take me out to the wilderness to practice shooting animals…..and to think I used to be a animal rights activist back in high school….

"Stop trembling…. They'll go away!" Matt sighed, holding my hands to stabilize the gun that I held within my sweaty palms.

We stood a few feet away from a cute little mother rabbit and her bunnies. They were innocently picking berries, nibbling… enjoying their time together, but here I was about to kill the mother….

"Oh man up Jackie" Mello nonchalantly leaned back on a tree, munching on a chocolate bar, as always, as he observed our little spectacle.

"You try killing a mother!" I barked at him.

He sighed, "I already have... and mind you it wasn't a silly rabbit either"

My mouth dropped at his comment; did he even have any morals?

"Mello… stop scaring her" Matt pierced his face with his eyes, his grip on my hand firming as he did so.

The blonde shrugged taking a large bite of his candy bar.

I didn't like the idea of becoming a gunman… wait gunwoman. I'm more a street racer…. My skills revolving around the escape and hit aspect of any business these two would take me on. But I guess this was a requirement if you wanted to stay with the mafia, especially because of the fact that I was a girl.

"What if I shoot that bird up there instead?" I pointed the heavy gun at the puffy bird on a branch. "He doesn't seem as cute"

Matt sighed annoyed and frustrated, letting go of my hands. "You can't just shoot anything depending on their 'cuteness' level…."

"Just hurry up and shoot the damn rabbit!"

I grunted, subtly stomping my foot. I so didn't want to…

I looked over to Matt who gazed back stern and stiff. He was dead set on making me shoot the animal. I'm sure if I didn't he'd be the one to shoot me.

"Okay, okay… I get it…" with a heavy sigh, I straightened my posture, aiming the nose of the gun once again towards the mother rabbit.

I had to remind myself that this was just a rabbit... a silly rabbit that probably just eats and defecates all day…

My finger rested on the trigger; ready pull it back any second.

I starred the rabbit down, almost angry, until she suddenly nuzzled her face into her little bunnies.

I shivered, a tear forming in my eye.

How could I kill a mother? What would happen to the bunnies? They obviously don't have a father rabbit around…

With a sniffle to stop the crying, I let go the gun, letting it drop on the grass.

"Oh for the love of god!" with cry of frustration, Mello suddenly, took out his gun and quickly shot down the rabbit. The loud ring echoed in the forest, making almost every animal in site run away.

"Mello!" I looked over at the little family and there lay the mother in gruesome horror, the bunnies trying to understand why their mother wasn't waking up.

I cried, "How could you do that!"

Matt sighed, lighting himself a cigarette, somewhat relieved of that fact that this practice was over.

"You were taking too damn long" Mello shoved his gun back into his pocket before heading out to the car.

I wiped my tears, still sniffling as I followed. "b-but"

"Jackie you're thinking about it too much…" Matt let out, trailing behind me. "… You'll never be able to kill Wes if you do what you just did"

"But that wasn't Wes; that was just a poor mother rabbit…" my stomach churned just thinking about what Mello did. I wanted to throw up.

"Then maybe we need to put you under more danger for you to shoot" Mello smirked, as he waited for Matt to unlock the car.

My eyes narrowed. I couldn't even comment to that.


It was the shivers that got to me. They were so spontaneous, and unexplainable; I couldn't put two and two together to figure what was going on.

What followed after was near death in pain.

I tried to walk down those stairs as if I was okay, but I knew the look on my face deceiving; so misleading that the two noticed.

"Thinking about the rabbit, Jacks?" Matt teased, as we stepped into the hideout.

I chuckled, grimly, "Not quite" clutching my hips tightly, did I finally get over to the couch.

I don't know maybe it was the anxiety of watching a little cuddly thing die that made me this way. I flung myself on the sofa, lying on my stomach to press the ulcer like pains away.

"Hungry?" Mello looked at my confused, before handling over the chocolate bar he was nibbling on. I felt honored, he never gave his chocolate to anyone, but I had to decline, food would probably make this worse.

"Nah…"I shook my head, before digging my head into the sofa's arm rest.


The day passed slowly, I'd come to notice that most of our work took it's place during nighttime and if we were lucky during the evenings just before the sun would dip under the horizon. So with that in mind, today I'd just laid around on the couch all day, trying to get some sleep to escape the uncomfortable state I was in… Matt had left around 7pm-ish on a drug import. Apparently it's too dangerous for me to go to; so for now I stayed behind with Mello. Mello would be tapping into the conversation if the meeting gets too dangerous for Matt and so we'd come in for backup.

"Here" Mello tossed something to my head, and I looked up a bit annoyed. "Don't tell Matt of your little problem…" he slipped on one of the headphones off his ear and picking his feet up to rest on the coffee table.

Confused, I reached for whatever it was he threw to my head. My fingers skimmed over something box like….

Picking it up, I read what the box said…my eyes widened.

"Don't joke around like that" I got angry and threw the pregnancy test back at this head.

He wasn't laughing, he was dead serious. "I'm just saying… better terminate it before it gets into a bigger problem"

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. It was as if he thought something so serious like abortion could be dealt with so easily.

"How can you be so damn sure, anyway?"

He glared at me for a moment, before getting back to his laptop. He didn't have to say anything for me to understand.

"That's not enough proof"

Mello shrugged, "Just don't become a burden…if you need anyone to take care of it… I know a place"

My eyes narrowed, his comments frightened me. In no time period of my life would I ever even think about getting an abortion. "Are you kidding me?"

He gave me a dangerously furious look. "Just go and check, or else I'll punch your stomach to get it over with either way"

Gosh I can't he be just a little subtle about things like this?

"Fine…" I heaved heavily getting off the couch.

"Damn women…"

I thumped his head, annoyed, "Shut the fuck up…"

"Jackie!"

I ignored him and went straight into the restroom, I'm sure he was probably piercing my back as I went, but what could he do? Kill me? He's learned I'm way too good of a street racer for him to give up.

The blondie couldn't help but peer up at me. He was curious but kept a cruel façade as if to scare me and to be honest it really did.

"So what?" his voice was so bitter.

I was at my wits; I'd already spent the last minutes in the bathroom unable to understand what was going on. I felt like the idea that I was pregnant hadn't hit me yet…. I was acting as if I'd never seen that damned little pink plus…

I exhaled a heavy yet shaky breath, throwing the box at his head. I didn't want to answer.

He grunted at the hit, but then stared at me waiting for me to answer him "I'm talking to you."

Dammit…. I'm not guilty…..No, not at all. It isn't my fault at all. I shouldn't be afraid; I should give birth to this thing and throw at that guy's face. I'm not maternal and nor am I freaking ready to be.

He slipped off both ear buds, "hey-"

"-I am" I spoke quickly and sharply, so wouldn't have to make me say it again.

Mello blankly stared at me for a while, then got furious and tense but then smirked "I knew it"

I wanted to chuck something at him again. "This isn't god damn funny! And nor is this a game!" my eyes were blazing with hatred and I was ready to break down and-and just…

"But this IS a game." Mello's grin was still plastered on his face as he shut his laptop and set it aside before getting up. "… and you just have to play it right"

I was trying to block him out of my head, but I couldn't help but listen through the small tears I didn't want him noticing' but of course he did. And when he did he scoffed. "B-But"

"-Hey!" he pointed at me sternly, "-you're part of this life and trust me there are way worse things that can happen. Granted this isn't the best of start, but you're gonna have to fucking suck it up and deal with it"

"Mello!" I stomped my feet oh so hard and cried out loud. I hated how he was taking this so easily and trying to teach me how to freaking deal with life. I know damn well how to deal with life, but this? This shouldn't be a part of life, in fact, it shouldn't be a part of my life. I just want to become a journalist….

"What?" he barked "Get off that mindset that you're gonna go home eventually and live a perfect life, because if you haven't noticed you have a new duty now" he grabbed my wrist strongly and forced me to follow him.

"Hey!"

I struggled to let him go of my hand, but he just pulled me up to the bar. I kept crying, not wanting to swallow the huge truth pill Mello had shoved into my mouth, but I had no choice.

I eventually stopped struggling and when he led me up the bar, he waved at the bar tender to come over. I didn't spend much time up here for the room was always filled with drunken perverts and low-class whores.

"For a cheap way to solve this…." the bartender came over, leaning over the counter. Today was the owner's day off and so 'Daisy', according to the name tag pinned on her chest, was on shift. She leaned over the counter to rest those racks she was so willing to show off and smiled cheeky at Mello. The blonde looked at her and then her breasts, twice, before continuing with a narrow grin he was trying to suppress "…three"

He just held up three fingers and she instantly understood what Mello was asking for. I guess, he came up often to see her…

"… is to drink that thing away…"

My eyes widened and I suddenly felt so sick to my stomach "That doesn't necessarily work! It-it could come out deformed and… and mentally challenged… and-and, its murder?"

"As if aborting isn't?" he harshly whispered when he noticed others looking at us after my hysterical outburst. "Besides, don't' act is if you're gonna keep it, because you're not"

"I-I"

"Look, as crude as this is" he spoke dry and so… so ignorantly "…I know you don't want to be the mother of Wes' child… trust me, he doesn't want that thing"

I covered my mouth, and started violently crying. I just couldn't help it. I can't handle this shit anymore.

"-Hey…" the lady came over to rest two full beer bottles in front of me and one in front of Mello. She was about to stay and talk when Mello waved her away. "…. Just drink it up…"

I sunk deep into my hands, weeping so much that tears were leaking in-between my fingers. After a moment, did I finally lift a few fingers to look up at Mello, who had some concern and empathy, but I could have surely made a mistake at the time, because I just couldn't make sense of anything at that moment.

He pushed the bottle towards me and I shed more tears as I reluctantly gripped the brown bottle and swung the Heineken into my pressed lips.