Note: A language warning and an apology.
Alex hovers in the doorway upon hearing voices in the med bay.
She doesn't want to interrupt Kara and Lena's conversation but wants to make sure that Kara eats some potstickers, so she holds back. She genuinely isn't trying to listen in to their exchange, doesn't want to impose on their private moment, but she can't help but hear as Lena's voice gets louder and angrier and her words become more poisonous.
"Without you, the world is a better place."
Alex almost physically flinches at Lena's closing attack. It hurts her to hear those words being hissed at her sister, so she can't imagine how Kara herself must feel right now, especially because they couldn't be further from the truth.
She has to get Kara out of there.
Kara will know that it's the Red K talking, that Lena doesn't really mean these things.
But she also knows from experience that she must have thought them in the first place for them to be able to bubble to the surface now.
Alex takes a few purposeful steps towards the med bay but is almost bundled over by a sobbing Kara as she tries to escape Lena and her vile insults.
"Kara, hey," Alex says softly, putting her hands on her sister's shoulders to stop her from disappearing, to let her know that she's here, that she wants to help. "Come on," she whispers gently, pulling Kara in for a hug.
Kara wails into Alex's shoulder, her head buried under a mass of blonde hair. Alex can feel the tears soaking through her shirt, the shaking of Kara's body as she cries, the way that her diaphragm heaves with every struggled breath that turns into a strangled sob in her throat.
Alex can't stop her own tears from silently falling down her cheeks.
She hates seeing Kara like this, so for her to bawl uncontrollably for the second time in two days makes her feel helpless, like she's failing her.
And she can't fail her, not now.
Not ever.
"C'mon, sweetie," she says quietly, desperate to get Kara as far away from Lena as possible so that she can calm her down.
Alex guides her through the main room. She very much wishes that there was another way to her office that meant fewer prying eyes and not having to pass their friends, but there isn't.
Maggie, J'onn and Winn all look over to Alex and Kara as they shuffle slowly through the room, Kara's face still buried into her sister's shoulder. Each of their faces change to worry when they see the state that Kara – the Girl of Steel – is in, but Alex waves them away, gestures for them to give her and Kara a few minutes.
Alex quietly closes her office door behind her and carefully lowers her and Kara onto the comfy couch at the back.
Kara, who is still weeping uncontrollably, shifts her head from Alex's shoulder and onto her lap.
That's bad.
That's really bad.
It's something Kara always did when she first arrived on Earth, when she cried for her parents and her lost planet, whenever she was distraught.
It made her feel safe, helped her to know that someone was there for her, that they couldn't leave her and no one could take them away because she had a firm hold on them. It helped to bring her back to reality, to ground her.
Alex hasn't comforted her like this for a long time.
And it still never gets any easier.
Her worry mounting more with every passing second, she gently runs a hand through Kara's soft hair, plays with it in an effort to soothe the distressed Kryptonian, her other rubbing little circles across the top of her back.
Neither woman speaks.
Kara couldn't, even if she wanted to, because her breaths still catch in her throat and her brain can't formulate the words and the overwhelming ache in her heart is already more than she can handle.
Alex knows that Kara needs silent reassurance. She knows that her sister will talk when she's ready, but right now all Kara needs is to feel close to someone, to feel safe and loved.
Because the woman she loves isn't herself right now, but no matter what she says, there's no doubt in Alex's mind that Lena loves Kara.
Alex hopes that Kara also knows that it's true, but Alex understands what it's like to be on the receiving end of a Red K verbal onslaught, so she can empathise completely with how Kara is feeling.
They sit in silence for a little over twenty minutes until Kara's sobs become soft whimpers, until her breathing regulates and she finally feels like she can let go of the fistful of the hem of Alex's shirt that she's been tightly clinging onto.
Alex has been gathering her thoughts for the last ten minutes, ready to tell Kara what she wants to hear, what she needs to hear.
"Lena loves you, Kara," Alex whispers, still running her fingers through blonde waves. "She always will. The way she looks at you, the way her face lights up every time you walk into a room… You're her world, and none of us would be better off without you."
Alex's words settle between them and it's almost a minute before Kara trusts herself to respond without breaking down again.
"B-but a part of h-her must f-feel the things she said," she manages between unsteady breaths, squeezing her eyes shut to stop fresh tears from welling up in them.
"Yeah, I guess," Alex admits. "But the real Lena would never react that way, no matter how upset she was. Lillian has corrupted her, filled her head with hatred for you and Supergirl, told her your secret… She probably did it after she was exposed to the Red Kryptonite, which can only make it worse. But no matter what the Red K or Lillian is telling her to say, I know that there is a part of the real Lena that's still in there, still fighting her way back to you. I saw her on the rooftop just like you did. We can get her back. I will find a way to bring her back." Alex takes a long, deep breath as she finds that the whole situation is overwhelming her too. She has to stay strong for Kara and Lena, has to have a clear mind and stay level-headed to be able to give the young CEO the best chance of coming out of this on the other side.
"How?" Kara asks quietly with a sniffle.
"I have an idea that I'm going to run by Doctor Hamilton," Alex says. "It should solve the Red K problem at least."
Kara feels a little wave of relief wash over her, but it's quickly overcome by the same sense of dread that has being weighing her down for the last forty-eight hours.
"Alex?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"What if, when all this is o-over… What if she does still h-hate me or doesn't want me anymore?" Kara mutters into Alex's stomach.
Alex feels her heart sink down to her toes because her sister's voice is tiny and frightened and as much as Alex can do her best to flush the Red K out of Lena's system and somehow remove Kara's DNA from Lena's body, she can't make Lena love Kara.
But she can give her sister an honest answer.
"Then that's Lena's problem, because she knows how much you love her. Look at it this way; if she's this upset under the Red K, it shows how much she cares, that there's a part of her that's still her. No one gets that torn up about anything unless they care. It'll take some time but you'll get through it and come out stronger on the other side. We've been through this and look at us; we're stronger than ever. I think you should save some of that hope that you give so freely to others for yourself."
Kara slowly sits up and lets out a long, heavy sigh. "I know you're right, but I'm not just scared of what this means for us. I'm terrified that she'll never be Lena again. I'd rather her get to be Lena who doesn't love me and lives a normal life than be whoever the hell that is in there. I just don't want her to feel hurt and anger and pain." Kara's voice drops to barely a whisper. "I need her to be okay."
Alex takes Kara's hands and gives them a reassuring squeeze. "I don't think Lena would want to be Lena without you. She could be back to herself, completely healthy with her life ahead of her, but she'd never be whole without you."
Kara's big blue shimmering eyes find Alex's before she wraps her sister in the biggest hug she can without crushing her.
"Thank you, Alex," Kara whispers into the quiet room, clinging onto Alex. "For always knowing what to do and say to make everything better. Thank you for making us stronger together."
/
Kara sits on a stool in the lab and watches as Alex works on the cure for Red Kryptonite.
She sees the focus and determination in her expression as she meticulously follows Maxwell Lord's notes from when he created it, carefully measuring formulas and mixing different substances together.
Alex had discussed the cure with Doctor Hamilton who agreed that it should work on the Kryptonian cells in Lena's body.
Whether it would affect Lena's human cells, no one knew or could predict.
But as far as anyone could tell, it was the best chance they had of bringing Lena back.
The question as to how Cadmus came to discover the way to create Red Kryptonite flashes across Kara's mind, not for the first time, but she decides that it can wait until she gets her hands on Lillian.
"How we doing in here?" Maggie asks, leaning against the doorframe. She takes in Kara's puffy red eyes that still aren't completely dry, the way that she's slumped against the counter next to her, the way that her girlfriend is hunched over a high counter as she works away.
"Okay," Alex mutters, glancing at Maggie before tipping in the last ingredient and putting a lid on each of the vials she has created. "We're all done."
"What is that?" Maggie asks, moving to stand beside her girlfriend and picking up one of the glass tubes.
"This is going to fight the Red Kryptonite in Lena's body," Alex says as she loads the vials into a secure padded aluminium case. "But I don't think it'll be safe to give her the full dosage all at once like we did with you," she adds, turning to look at her little sister.
"Because of her human cells?" Kara asks, sitting up a little straighter.
"Exactly," Alex replies, snapping the case closed. "I don't want to risk damaging them by overloading her system, so I think, and Doctor Hamilton agreed, that one vial should be administered every two hours for the next twelve hours. That should be enough to flush it out of her body."
Kara looks over to Maggie. "How's Lena?"
The detective hops up onto a stool next to Kara. "She's okay, Little Danvers. As okay as can be expected. She hasn't blacked out again." She places a reassuring hand on Kara's arm before pulling her in for a cuddle. "But she did pass comment on my height."
Alex casts a sideways glance at her girlfriend and her lips turn up into the tiniest of smiles at her attempt to reduce the heaviness in the air. "No word on Lillian?" she asks, and Maggie shakes her head despondently in response.
"Then I guess we'd better give Lena her first shot," Alex says, and Maggie loops her arm through Kara's as they follow Alex to the med bay.
/
They knew it wouldn't be easy.
They knew that Lena would do her best to put up a fight, but each time she was becoming increasingly angry despite the Red K being slowly removed from her body, and she was fighting hard against her restraints.
The handcuffs, which she now has over both wrists because she kept trying to rip out all the wires that were monitoring her, rattle piercingly against the metal side of the bed as Alex gets closer with the penultimate vial.
The harsh noise ricochets around the room and sets everyone on edge.
Alex has managed only an hour of sleep here and there. The second time she'd tried, Maggie had snuggled next to her, held her close and comforted her until she drifted into unconsciousness only to be abruptly yanked from it half an hour later when Lena had started shouting at Winn as he walked past the med bay.
The thing troubling Alex the most, though, is that she wanted to be the one to give Lena the cure.
She didn't want anyone else to be the one to blame if it all goes wrong, because it was her idea.
And that comes with a lot of pressure and responsibility.
Alex also knows for a fact – and worries – that Kara hasn't slept a wink since they were called out to the 'emergency' in the city despite Alex practically begging her to.
Everyone is running on adrenaline and coffee and potstickers, even Winn, who is spending every second scouring every inch of the city and beyond for Lillian, desperately hoping not to run into Lena again until she's cured.
"Ready?" Alex asks J'onn and Hamilton, who nod and pin Lena to the bed to ensure that she can't move her arm as Alex inserts the needle.
Kara watches, as she has done the other four times, silent tears slipping down her cheeks.
On each occasion, Maggie has stood by her side, comforted her as Lena's body writhed and twitched as a little bit of the poison visibly left her system.
Again, the detective slips her hand into Kara's and gives it a gentle reassuring squeeze as Lena cries out something unintelligible in anger and frustration.
Kara looks at Maggie, her lip quivering and the smaller woman wraps an arm around her, holding her tight like she knows Alex would.
Kara sighs in relief as Lena's body stills and her breathing returns to normal with J'onn and Hamilton releasing their grips on her.
But her relief doesn't last long.
"Fuck you, Kara," Lena hisses, her green eyes fixing onto Kara's blue ones with a stare that could break steel. "Fuck you all."
Kara has to keep telling herself that it's not Lena saying these things. This is by far her mildest outburst, which is a good sign, but it still gets under her skin.
"This is for your own good, Ms Luthor," J'onn adds, and everyone knows that he's reading Lena's thoughts like they'd agreed to see whether they're getting any closer to bringing her back. He's standing behind Lena so she doesn't see the tiny nod he gives to show that the cure seems to be slowly working.
"This is what's best for you," Kara says, edging a little close to Lena's bed.
"I decide what's best for me," Lena growls. "Not you. Especially not you."
Everyone sees the flicker of hurt as it flashes across Kara's tired face because Lena's last comment is directed at her.
"That's enough," Alex commands. "You have one dose left. I'll be back in two hours to give it to you."
"Whatever," Lena mutters.
Alex gives her a hard stare but she too knows that Lena isn't deliberately trying to be awkward. She stands beside her sister and her girlfriend and draws them into a long hug, one that feels very needed by them all.
"We're almost there, Kara," Alex mutters into her sister's hair as she plants a kiss on both her and Maggie's foreheads. "Just a couple more hours."
But it's then that everything changes.
"What's happening?" Kara cries, rushing over to Lena as the monitor begins to bleep at a hundred miles an hour.
Alex and Doctor Hamilton react immediately but are powerless to do much at first.
Lena's entire body convulses, writhes as she thrashes involuntarily against the mattress. Her arms try to flail but are held down by the handcuffs, and the red sun lamps hinder her from breaking free. Her eyes have rolled back in her head, the emerald green replaced by ghostly white and she struggles for breath, each intake short and sharp and not enough.
"Get her back!" Alex shouts, and it takes both Maggie and J'onn to tear Kara away from Lena's bedside as Alex rips her stethoscope from around her neck. "And get those cuffs off of her!"
J'onn briefly hesitates but knows that they doesn't have a choice. He uses his strength to rip the cuffs from the bed frame but holds Lena's arms still, as directed by Doctor Hamilton.
"She's tachycardic," Alex declares.
She rattles off a list of things to for Doctor Hamilton to grab that should help Lena, but Kara doesn't hear anything over the rapid thump thump thump of Lena's heart as it battles against the rest of her struggling body.
Kara stands motionless amongst the madness, her eyes seeing the scene unfolding in front of her but her mind unable to digest it.
She sees Lena's body fighting J'onn's restraint, fighting itself, fighting for air.
She sees Alex doing everything she can to help her.
She sees the green line on the heart rate monitor zig-zagging like a seismometer during a violent earthquake.
She sees Maggie standing in front of her, trying to hold her attention so that she doesn't have to witness these horrendous things.
But even when she looks at the detective, it doesn't stop Kara from seeing her world crumbling around her.
The frantic beeping of the machine suddenly turns into a long high-pitched shriek that rings violently through Kara's hypersensitive ears and echoes through her brain.
But it is the silence that carries with it, the unmistakable silence that only she can hear, the only silence that can never be broken, that shatters her fragile heart into a million tiny irreparable pieces.
Because that silence only means one thing.
She's dead.
Lena Luthor is dead.
