It was a while before either of them could attempt real happiness again. Most days they'd just go through the motions, forcing smiles and holding back tears while they were together, and letting everything break when they slept apart –and repeat. They both knew they should probably be finding comfort in each other, bonding in their devastation, but they weren't. Each was dealing with the loss on their own terms, and were finding it difficult to let the other in when they were feeling so broken inside. He didn't want his boyfriend to see him like this.

Before the week was over, though, Dan was regretting making a move to the sofa, sleeping away from Phil every night. It got cold at night, and he missed his warmth, and the smell of his shampoo when he buried his face into his hair, and this pillow he had taken wasn't nearly as comfortable to lay one's head on as his boyfriend was.

He got up and crept quietly to their bedroom –or maybe what had been their bedroom? He wasn't sure anymore- and cracked the door open just a bit. He had to smile at the sight of Phil sleeping almost angelically, and Dan tiptoed closer, stopping for a moment to get a better look. Up close, Phil's hair was a mess, and he was drooling onto his pillow, and could be heard snoring louder than Dan remembered. But none of this deterred him in the least: he found his sleeping boyfriend quite endearing, actually –gloriously human in the most beautiful way. Phil was, in Dan's eyes, the closest to perfection someone could be.

Dan slid carefully into bed behind him, tucking himself against Phil's body so they were flush back to front, all the way down their torsos, and entangled at the legs. Dan felt him shift and took the opportunity to slip his arms around Phil's waist and pull him impossibly closer. He didn't mind that his arm would be numb long before morning, damn it, he wanted to spoon this gorgeous creature.

Dan thought about Ivy a lot that night, and how much of a joy it had been to have her in their lives while they did. He had thought he was too young to really settle down, but in his mid-twenties now, Dan realized that being able to raise a child with the love of his life had been a true blessing.

It was too early now to think about maybe trying again, with a child they could keep in their lives. They would always love Ivy with all their hearts, and would always think about her and wonder if she was okay being raised by those assholes. Dan didn't like to think about that, but he wondered, and prayed she would turn out alright. Maybe in the two years they'd had her, they'd left enough of an impression. They could only hope.

But though they would never forget Ivy, she didn't have to be the last chance they had at being a family. And nothing would really be different: they'd gone on with their lives much the same as before they had Ivy after they took her in, with their careers and whatnot. They'd already be skilled in parenting (at least, he liked to think so.) And maybe Dan was still young, but he really felt like he was ready to settle down, and it may have seemed a bit odd that a man his age was ready for that kind of thing, but why would he hold off on his happiness to meet societal standards? The two of them were already unorthodox enough –one more little discrepancy would do no harm.

He pressed his face into Phil's shoulder and wondered if he wanted the same thing. Given how he was equally distraught when they'd lost little Ivy, Dan could only imagine. And why should they have to hold off? Ivy had been their world, and maybe they could give that to another little child who needed them.

But if they were going to be a little family again, Dan wanted to go all out.

Phil wouldn't know yet that Dan had crept back into their bed last night, as Dan got up early to make them some breakfast, a kind of reconciliatory meal after they'd been so quiet to each other all week. He made coffee and pancakes, though he really would've rather they make the pancakes together. He had just finished getting everything set up when Phil stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Dan smiled and hopped over, kissing him quickly and mumbling a "good morning" against his mouth.

"I'm sorry for being such a twat and not sleeping in our bed these last few nights. I hope I can make up for it, and I'd like to move back into our room."

Phil smiled tiredly and kissed back. "You don't have anything to make up for, babe. I know… this week has been rough for both of us, and we're just not very good at dealing with it."

Dan nodded and pulled out a chair for his boyfriend, being a gentleman, and sat in his own seat opposite once Phil was sat with his plate of food, both starting to dig in.

"I can't believe you made pancakes without me," Phil mumbled, teasing, and Dan flung a bit of his food at him.

"Next time I just won't make them at all and you can get your own breakfast, Sir Snooze." Dan was only joking, of course; this was just typical them, and the banter was nice to have coming back after a very sorrowful few days. The pain was still very, very real for both of them, but with each other they thought they could maybe start to move on in their lives. It would take time, but they needed to accept that Ivy –their little princess- was no longer theirs, even if she was in their hearts. It was best to move on.

Dan pouted and reached across the table to knock Phil's fork off onto the floor. He watched with anticipation as his boyfriend leaned down to pick it up, and he pulled the small thing out of his pocket before Phil sat back up.

Phil plucked his utensil up off the floor and sat back up straight in his chair, ready to reach out and return the favor. He looked in front of him to find something he really never could've ever expected.

Dan had hearts in his eyes as he presented Phil with a candy necklace. And that was maybe the most confusing thing Phil had seen in twenty-nine years. "What…?"

"So hear me out. I wanted to get you the real deal, but I don't exactly have the money for that right now –I will, though, I swear. And then –almost as a joke, I guess- I wanted to buy you a Ring Pop instead, but when I went to the shop they didn't have any. This was the only kind of edible jewelry I could find, so I figured it would do.

Dan had to take a breath to calm himself as Phil just stared at him with wide, confused eyes. "I love you, Phil. I love you so much and after more than six years, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. Hell, even before we actually ever talked I was so damn infatuated –but it wasn't until I first went to see you that I started to really fall in love. And boy did I ever. You were my light when the world was very… very dark, and I don't think I ever really thanked you for it. I don't think I ever could. After we lost Ivy, I did some thinking. I started to realize how, as much as she had been such a precious thing in my life, she would never have been in my life if it wasn't for you. Everything good in my life these last few years, they always come down to you. Now, maybe this isn't the time for big decisions, but I really think we're ready. I loved raising Ivy with you so much, and maybe one day, we could try again. But if we're gonna have another little family, I want it to be legit in every way. I would be the fucking happiest person on this planet if you… if you would marry me."