CHAPTER SEVEN – SIERRA BONTERI: SINGLE MAN'S KRYPTONITE

STEELA

I'm half-tempted to ask the nurse to put Rex on a different pain medication. The one he's currently on has wrapped his brain in velvety sheets, and the last thing I need is my boyfriend gushing constantly over the fact that we're dating, asking for blue Jell-O instead of red (I told him that red was his only option), mumbling over a marriage proposal, and adorably requesting kisses (Okay, his expression was so precious that I had to oblige him once. But just once.)

"Steela?" He asks, putting his now-empty Jell-O cup on his tray table. "Do you-?"

"Not right now, Rex."

"Do you want any children?"

I've caught on that it's easier to give Rex simple answers than to dodge entirely. "Maybe, someday. Get some rest, okay?"

"Okay," he says glumly and slides back down in his bed.

"Rex, are you alright?"

"Yes," he sniffles. "I'm fine. I just -."

"Sierra, get the nurse. We're definitely switching his pain meds," I whisper to Sierra and quickly stride over to Rex. "What is it?"

"I-I don't know if I can give you children," he blurts out. "Some of my brothers have families, but others can't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry -."

Oh Rex, if only the pain medication wasn't muddling your brain you would remember we had this exact conversation already. And I told you it was okay because I can't get pregnant anyway. "It's okay. I know already."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. Sierra's going to be back soon with some new pain medication for you, okay?"

"I like this medication."

Well tough banthas Rex, you're getting a different medicine. We have bigger things to worry about than if you and I are going to have children.

The rest of us, sans Mina, meet up in Lux and Hutch's room to figure out how to somehow dig ourselves out of an ever-deepening hole.

"You know that feeling when you're so dead you don't even want to think about it? I'm feeling it. Right now." Hero says.

"If anyone can keep Jenn under control, Mina and Tandin can," Ahsoka promises. "Right now, we've got to get the guys out of here, now."

"Jenn's smooth move admittedly did get rid of Black Sun," I say. "Or at least it distracted them enough to have to worry about two things. Unfortunately, we have to worry about just as many."

"Which is why we're leaving," Ahsoka breaks in. "This situation is out of control, and I don't want to know what else will go wrong if we remain here. We're not getting the guys discharged. We're not checking out against medical advice. We're just leaving."

I can practically taste the relief. "B-but what about the catheters?"

Hutch, on the same strong pain meds as Rex, decides to speak up. "Babe, Ahsoka pulled a tube out of my -."

"Since catheters freak Mina out, I removed them," Ahsoka explains. "I did it enough during the Clone War; it's no big deal anyway. I don't understand why she won't handle them."

"In light of all the things Mina can do, I don't think it's anything to complain about." Mina is basically a superwoman, a mother to all children, and easily the best nurse I've ever had – and I've had a lot of nurses. If she doesn't want to do catheters, then I'll do them for her for the next million years.

"Anyhow," Ahsoka clears her throat. "This is how it's going to go down. Everyone goes into their guy's room, gets them into a wheelchair, and rolls them out. As long as we don't hit security, it should work out fine."

"Where are we going after we hit the front door? We very well can't take them on the public transport." Hero asks.

Ahsoka swears under her breath; I think she's forgotten that we don't have a speeder.

"Hovertaxi?" I suggest weakly.

"Force only knows when it would get here." She massages her montrals with her fingertips, probably trying to dispel an oncoming headache. "Steela, can you boost a random speeder from the speeder bay? We'll just abandon it along the road somewhere so its owner can get it."

I'm about to tell her I'd need to go back to the ship to get my gear, or at least have a minute to improvise some jigglers when Sierra speaks up.

"I have a plan."

"Sierra, this transcends the borders of acceptable grift."

"What gives?"

"Let me put it this way," I say. "That law is in place for a reason, and it's a good reason! It keeps people safe. The only people who are supposed to do what you're proposing are people who are in need."

"Well," Sierra bristles. "We're in need."

"Why are you taking my IV bags off the pole?" Rex asks.

"We're going on a trip," I take a second to read the label on one of the bags and kriff it, the nurse hasn't swapped the meds yet. "Rex, you have to be very quiet while we go. It's important."

"Please, do shut up." Saw says from his wheelchair across the room. "I'll tell you all right now how annoying it is when he goes on one of his rants about getting married or having babies."

"Oh stop it," Sierra chides, snapping the wheelchair's footrests into place. "He's drugged out. If anything, you should make a blackmail holo of it when we get home."

I settle Rex into his wheelchair. "Alright, ready to go?"

He grabs for the small flimsi bag sitting on his table. "I need my snacks."

That was a close one. Ahsoka told me in no uncertain terms that we need Rex's snacks. "Okay," I put the bag on his lap and he curls his hands around it before selecting a sweet cracker and munching happily.

"I've heard that Fett clones have notorious sweet teeth, but this is extreme." Saw notices.

"It'll taper off once the pain meds stop. It's like being drunk and hungry," Sierra explains.

"Guys, you need to shut up," I interrupt. "We haven't discharged you two; we're basically kidnapping you."

Saw whistles quietly. "Okay then. Better stay away from the nurses."

The nurses. I'd better make sure they're not looking while we roll past. I side eye the station as we approach and stop short before quickly wheeling Rex into an adjoining hallway. Confused, Sierra follows.

"Sierra, I don't think Jenn's plan worked."

She follows my gaze over to the nurses' station, where two Black Sun goons lean against the counter.

"Snap. I'll take care of this."

"How?" I ask. "How, Sierra? You don't have a plan. You don't have Hutch to get information, and we have to deal with these two idiots in wheelchairs. What weapons do you possibly have against Black Sun goons?"

"Single man's kryptonite."

"Single man's kryptonite? What even is that?"

Sierra reaches into Rex's snack bag, pulls out a wad of napkins, and ducks around the corner.

"Oh, if Lux sees this…"

Sierra walks around the corner, wearing what I can only describe as con clothes on steroids. Her flat shoes have been switched out for a pair of high heels, no doubt the ones she carries in her purse at all times. Her sweater sleeves are tied around her neck like a cape, showing off her blouse. A blouse which is now very conspicuously unbuttoned.

As for the napkins, well, let's just say I definitely know what she did with the napkins. Black Sun, as well as every other male in the hallway, also notices.

My only thought – and I actually hear a little voice in my head say this – is this the reason Sierra wears button-down shirts everywhere she goes?

She walks up to the nurse's station, her hands filled with datapads and a stack of data chips, and smacks into one of the Black Sun goons. Sheets of flimsi, datapads, and data chips go everywhere.

"Oh, no!" She scrunches up her face pathetically and looks down at the mess. "Oh, what a mess."

One of the Black Sun goons looks like he's about to tell Sierra to scram, but his partner drops to the floor to help her pick up the data chips. Without his partner in the way, he glimpses exactly what Sierra wants him to see.

"It's all right," the guy on the floor says. "Here, let me help you with that."

"Oh, thank you," Sierra gushes. "I'm such a klutz; if my boss finds out I've dropped his files again he'll have a fit with a capital F. It's only my first day." She smiles, batting him a doe-eyed gaze. "I'm Cersei Vashtor."

That's my cue. I dart across the hallway with Rex's wheelchair, hide him in the nearest alcove and then come back before Saw can get the bright idea to roll himself after us with a broken arm.

"I can show you around," the first Black Sun goon says way, way too enthusiastically. From the look on her face, I can tell Sierra is enjoying this way, way too much.

"She's playing them like a fiddle," Rex says.

Saw sniggers. "I'm half-tempted to roll over there and yell 'Hey! That's my wife!'"

"Don't do that. She's got this under control." Still, I keep a sharp eye on the Suns and Sierra, who's smiling and blushing like nobody's business.

"That's so nice of you," Sierra says, smile splitting her cheeks. "I have to get these to my boss or he's going to kill me, but then I get off in ten minutes. Do you want to meet me in the cafeteria? We can have lunch, and then I know a few places."

The second Sun is dubious, but Sierra flashes him a smile of sweet poison and he crumbles. "We'll see you on the first floor."

"I can't wait," Sierra beams as she walks away. As soon as she approaches us she dumps the files on the nearest chair and puts her sweater back on.

"Lux is not going to be happy." Saw says.

"And Lux is going to know absolutely nothing."

I would argue with her over it, but I'll do it later when we're not in the middle of a con. "Okay, enough about Sierra's little stunt. Let's get to the ambulance bay!"

"Ambulance bay?" Saw repeats. "How are we going to get out of the ambulance bay?"

"Simple, Saw. We stole an ambulance."

"Emergency Services, what is the nature of your emergency?"

A block away from the hospital, Hero St. James clutches her comlink. "Oh my God, I think he's having a seizure! The convenience store on the corner of Main and Fifth! You have to send an ambulance!"

"Don't worry ma'am, the paramedics are on the way."

Hero simply sat on a bench drinking a soda purchased from the convenience store until the ambulance arrived. As soon as the paramedics raced into the door she jumped into the ambulance, shrugged on an EMT's jacket, and sped off.

"Ready to go?" Hero asks, tossing me the second jacket.

"I was ready ten minutes ago," I announce, shrugging the coat around my shoulders while Ahsoka helps Mina and Sierra load the guys into the back, chucking the wheelchairs off to the side.

Hero and I hoist Tandin into the ambulance and settle him into a chair.

"Glad to be leaving, Tandin?" After the Lazarus Project, it's no secret that Tandin doesn't like hospitals.

"I'm just glad it's over, Steela, and that you weren't the one in the bed. Bad enough I had to worry about Saw."

"Well you don't have to think about anything now. We're going home for you to rest."

I leave Ahsoka, Sierra, and Mina in the back with the guys and jump into the ambulance's cab, Hero on my heels when my body hits another with an oof!

"Hero?"

Hero swallows hard. "Stee…that wasn't me," she says and points, a look of horror on her face.

I turn around slowly, unable to believe my eyes.

"How ya' doing?" Jenn asks.

But wait...they ditched Jenn! So how did she end up in the ambulance? That's impossible.

Well, Jenn's definitely a force to be reckoned with.

Thank you to julyza, McAwsome, MusicKeeper, and starwarshobbitfics for your reviews. And speaking of which, please review!

Until next time,

LS