A/N: Is revenge fanfiction a thing?
This one came to me when I was reading a slightly older fanfiction. You know the really good ones that suck you in, and then… they've been abandoned. Well this one was nice enough to come back to their abandoned fic a couple of years later to round it off with a lemon – but if anyone knows Aileah, the author of What Binds Us Together and can convince her to keep going then please fucking do. If not, read the fucking thing because it is Good Shit.
Anyways, with the end of that particular fic being (spoilers) that they finally sleep together and then he goes off to war, I was like, knowing Ichigo's shitty luck he'd come back to her having had a baby while he was away.
And thus, this was born. (I swear the next one shot will be less baby orientated, but parenting team IR is just peak and can only be challenged by gay dads Vikturi)
Also I had a fic that I never got even close to finishing which was IR as beauty and the beast and I am thisclose to starting that shit again just try and stop me
Ichigo Kurosaki was the Soul King.
Good for him, Rukia thought. He deserves it.
And he kind of did. He'd been through the wringer. He'd had to fight a shit ton of people. His daily nap routine had been interrupted. He hadn't been able to just sit and read some Shakespeare while eating chocolate covered strawberries for some time.
So with the announcement that he was Soul King – because of course he would be, that important little shit – and would have to seal himself within the King's Realm for about a year while he became the lynchpin of the universe and stabilised it, something Rukia was extremely shakey on the details about, no one was that surprised.
Or if they were then they didn't particularly show it. Byakuya Kuchiki had taken up the habit of huffing quietly, in an annoyed way, presumably at the knowledge that Ichigo now outranked him in both skill and nobility, but everyone had always figured he was destined for something great.
Ichigo himself, however, appeared to have thought he was destined for something a little closer to home.
And so, the day Yhwach died, or whatever it is he had done after he and Rukia had used their bankais together to fire some icy tensa zangetsu with world-endage potential, who the fuck knew, and Aizen had gotten a new chair, which he pretended to hate but secretly was quite fond of, Ichigo had been announced King and was told he'd have to leave the next morning. He then proceeded, since they had just had their inner worlds melded together into one and fought together and were now the closest two souls could be, to go Rukia's room in the still-standing Kuchiki manor, and sleep with her.
It had been beautiful. And awkward.
Incredibly, incredibly awkward.
At first, he'd gotten too excited by her hand on his junk over his pants while they'd been making out that he'd come too soon.
Then, while she was giving him a blow job to try and get things starting again, she'd gotten cramp in her jaw and had to ice it.
Then, eventually, they were both sufficiently aroused and naked and actually in bed, and it was just awkward. But beautiful. But awkward. False start when she felt her hymen tear and had to stop, then he'd started to move, and there were legs in the wrong places, and he'd gone to kiss her and they'd knocked foreheads. There was a point when he clearly wasn't sure what to do with his hands so he just held them up questioningly but too embarrassed to say the words. Then she'd started giggling because it was so ridiculous and then he had to pull out because he could feel her giggling around his dick and it was too much. All in all, it ended with Ichigo managing to come inside her and she, bright red and still laughing, had settled for just kissing him (and an obligatory high five for getting to the end of it without either being seriously maimed). There was a resolution that it would be better next time, when the Royal Realm was unlocked or whatever – when they saw each other in about a year.
He left the next morning after giving her a kiss on the forehead.
The first month was fine, absolutely fine. Sure, she was off her food a little bit. Who wasn't? They'd just fought a war. She was connected to another soul and he was in a different dimension.
And her missing time of the month was also stress-related, probably.
The next month was fine too. Of course she vomited her breakfast. Orihime Inoue should not be allowed near a frying pan.
So she'd missed another period. And she was still vomiting all the time. And she felt like shit. To be expected, frankly. She was just tired. She was helping to rebuild the afterlife, you know.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Rukia, yes. I'm telling you 'yes'. It's a blue plus. That means pregnant."
"I'm telling you, fuck off Renji. That means go fuck yourself- hey don't take my wine you monster-"
Month five involved cold jelly on swollen bellies and listening to heartbeats and telling her brother.
Who, actually, wasn't that offended by the thought of her having Ichigo's baby.
"… He'll be a prince. And then a Kuchiki King. He will bring great honour to the clan. I will have the other nobles send congratulations."
The next month saw her belly pop. The women you saw on TV with their perfectly round bumps and tiny torsos and skinny legs and perfect asses?
Not Rukia Kuchiki. She was swollen all over. She was told she looked adorable. She told people to move the fuck out of her way.
Renji would be the one to help her when she was in labour, it was decided.
"It's only two months away, Rukia," he would remind her with an excited smile, as if she was a fucking idiot who couldn't remember a simple date. "Two months and I'll be an uncle! Hey, you'll let me take the kid out with me to help pull chicks, right? I'm gonna get us matching leather biker jackets, cool uncle Renji will be their favourite-" That bastard needed to stop cooing at her fat stomach.
Month eight was the worst month.
It suddenly hit home. A baby. No daddy. About 200 aunts and uncles, but no daddy. Her soulmate was the father to her child and he didn't even know.
She cried all the time. She stood in front of her squad, her entire squad, about a thousand soldiers all watching her on the podium while she did her announcements, and uncontrollably sobbed while telling them something about not challenging Squad 11 members to duels. No one could tell a word she was saying. Everyone looked alarmed.
Almost as soon as the last full month started, so did a lot of Braxton Hicks. All the time. All the fake contractions. So she stayed in bed and slept and watched movies and did paperwork and she was so fucking bored as she got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger-
It wouldn't be the baby of Ichigo Kurosaki if it wasn't horrendously overdue.
"We'll induce labour tomorrow," Isane told her. "It's not safe to wait for you to begin labour naturally now it's three weeks over. The baby will have to come out and meet his mother!"
Which of course meant that she went into labour not two hours later.
Giving birth was never going to be her forte. She was four foot eight and her hips were still tiny, which meant a C-section, which meant not being able to feel anything below her breasts and Renji holding her hand while his face was way too close and she'd tell him to fucking move back a bit and he'd say, "it's nearly over, Rukia!" and she got spit in her eye.
Baby girl Kurosaki-Kuchiki was born at 3am and she weighed 6 and a half pounds. She had a full head of orange hair. Because of course she did.
She was endlessly wanting her mother's milk, because she was as demanding as her father.
She was five days old and had already worked out how to pout and use her eyes to get something because she was so cute, and it wouldn't be hard work otherwise.
She immediately fell asleep when her uncle Byakuya held her, and screamed whenever Renji got too close.
She was a month old and her eyes turned violet because she seemed determined to be the most outrageous baby who ever lived. Biker jacket and all.
She was two months old and she started smiling, much to everyone's delight but Rukia's. She seemed determined not to smile at her mother. Probably because her mother was refusing to give her a name until her father showed up, but whatever.
When she was two and a half months old, she met her daddy.
Being a newly-instated Captain with a new-born was probably the hardest thing Rukia Kuchiki would ever do.
Friday nights, that night of the week when work is over and everybody seems to want to celebrate having two days off, saw Rukia in bed, asleep by 9pm, with her baby in her crib right next to the bed.
So, when Rukia woke up at about half 11 one Friday evening, looking at the clock before rolling over to check on the baby girl, she about had a coronary when she saw the crib was empty.
She shot straight up in bed and was half an inch from throwing back her covers and screaming when she caught sight of the baby girl.
She was in her father's arms, and he was sat in the rocking chair on the other side of the room. He was holding her carefully, like he wasn't fully confident of what he was doing, and the moonlight from the open window falling on them both. Rukia could hear lieutenant Matsumoto cackling loudly outside as she walked back from the bar, but she was fairly sure that tonight wasn't one of those nights when Rangiku would drunkenly burst in demanding to hold the baby, so she put it out of her mind.
"Hey," she spoke, softly so she didn't startle him.
He looked up at her, and smirked. "Yo," he whispered, "what've you been up to, then?"
She smiled herself as she got up from her bed, walked across the room, and stroked the sleeping baby's head, not moving her eyes from his. "Oh, you know. This and that."
