Chapter 7
Freddie stared down at the black velvet box he held in his hands. For the 100th time since he'd purchased it, he opened the box again, staring down at the contents within. Inside sat a simple and and non-ornate white gold ring, decorated with only a tiny diamond in the middle.
It wasn't an engagement ring. Even feelings for Sam aside, he didn't feel ready for that quite yet. Admittedly, he wondered if he'd ever be ready for that. Maybe Carly was. Maybe Sam was, though he still found it somewhat hard to believe. He however, was not. Nonetheless, he felt compelled to at least attempt to make a promise to Vivian…a promise he now realized he'd been holding back on because of his feelings for Sam.
But he needed a fresh start now. He needed to move on. If Sam could do it, seemingly so easily, then so could he.
He had to.
That was why, after he'd gotten off of work, he'd gone straight to the jewelry store down the street from his office and bought Vivian a promise ring of sorts. He supposed some might call it uncharacteristically rash, but he didn't see it that way. He and Vivian had been together for a while now and it wasn't as if it was an real engagement ring. It was just a promise. It was just a simple promise to stay true and to stick with her. It was just a simple promise that there was hope for a one day after all.
It was his promise of a fresh start.
Suddenly, he was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. Quickly he stuffed the box back into his pocket and picked up the phone from the coffee table where it lay strewn.
"Hey, Freddie," Carly said cheerfully from the other end.
"Hey, Carly. Uhm, what's up?"
"Are you free tonight? I was talking to Sam and I was thinking we should all hang out tonight. Maybe movie night at Sam's place?"
"Uhm, sure," Freddie replied, more hesitantly than he'd intended.
If Carly had picked up on it however, she ignored it.
"Okay. Great! So, see you at Sam's around 9:00-ish?"
"Uh...yeah. Sure. See you then."
"See ya!" Carly replied cheerfully before hanging up.
Freddie sighed. He hadn't seen Sam since the rather awkward incident at Spencer's and Gloria's and he had left a phone call from her unanswered. Since his realization, he couldn't help but feel hesitantly awkward about her and about the idea of being around her.
But, he decided resolutely, it didn't matter. They were friends. Just friends. She was happy with Shawn and he was happy with Vivian. There was no reason to feel awkward or uncomfortable, not anymore at least. This was day one of his fresh start.
Tonight would be no big deal.
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Sam sat on the sofa, her legs stretching across the length of it. A rerun of a very old episode of Girly Cow played on the screen in front of her.
A bowl of popcorn and a DVD sat atop the coffee table. Everything was set for movie night. Carly had figured it'd be good for her, Sam, and Freddie to all spend some time together to smooth out any of the weirdness of their last encounter at Gloria and Spencer's.
Sam had agreed on the condition that Carly wouldn't try to pull anything funny or meddle in her well meaning, but often disastrous, way in regards to her and Freddie. Sam had insisted that she'd confront Freddie, but stressed that she needed to do it on her own time. With much sighing, Carly agreed.
Sam looked down at the clock on her pear phone. 9:20. Carly was late, again. It was strange how that seemed to be becoming a habit of hers, especially considering she had always been Ms. Punctuality. Freddie was late as well.
At that moment, there was a loud knock at the door. Standing from the sofa, Sam made her way towards it. Standing on her tiptoes she looked through the peephole. On the other side she saw Freddie, a sheepish grin on his face and a plastic grocery bag in his hand.
"Hey," Freddie said as Sam opened the door.
"Hey, Benson. Oh, you brought Fat Cakes? Smart move, kid. Smart move," Sam replied as she eyed the plastic bag in Freddie's hands.
"Yeah. Figured you'd appreciate that," he said with a laugh.
"You know me well," she chuckled as she grabbed the bag from his hands and lead him into her living room.
"Carly's not here yet?" Freddie asked curiously.
"Nope. She's been making a habit of being late lately…kind of starting to understand why she's always so bothered when I'm late."
Just then, Sam's phone buzzed. Pulling it out of her pocket she saw a text from Carly.
Hey! Sorry. Can't make it tonight. Ben surprised me! Tickets to a show I've been dying to see. Just do movie night without me, k?
Sam groaned.
Of course she couldn't make it. She'd never planned on making it. Sam had been set up. Carly had meddled. The fact that Sam hadn't seen it coming and had actually been foolish enough to believe Carly when she'd said she wouldn't meddle had Sam seriously wondering if she'd lost her edge.
"Is that Carly?" Freddie asked.
"Yeah. She can't make it. Something about Ben getting tickets to some show tonight or something," Sam replied, holding back the irritation in her voice.
"Oh," Freddie replied, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "Guess, it's just you and me then."
"Yeah…" Sam replied distractedly.
It was going to be a long night…
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"This is the lamest horror movie ever. This chick is so dumb. Why would she go inside the house of a crazed axe murderer? Between that and the chizzy acting, I'm not sure how much more of this movie I can take," Sam whined as she stared at the screen.
They were only 15 minutes into the movie and Sam was already bored out of her mind. Admittedly, it was her fault. She'd been the one to pick it out. The cover had been gruesome enough to be promising, but the movie had turned out to be anything but.
"I told you this movie was going to be terrible, Sam," Freddie laughed knowingly from the other end of the sofa.
"Yeah, well when have I ever listened to what you say?" Sam prodded.
"…Good point, though I'm pretty sure this is proof that maybe you should start."
"Yeah…not happening," she laughed. "Anyways, I can't take anymore of this movie. Did you bring any other ones?"
"Actually," Freddie said, as a grin formed across his face. Reaching towards the coffee table, he picked up the shopping bag he'd brought with him and pulled out a Galaxy Wars DVD box set.
"Galaxy Wars? Really, Freddie?" Sam scoffed.
"One day I'll get you to watch it. I'm telling you. It'll happen," Freddie said confidently.
"Dude, you've been trying to get me to watch that movie for the past 10 years now. It's not going to happen. Besides, I'd rather sit through this chizz-fest of a horror film than watch Galaxy Wars."
Freddie just rolled his eyes, disappointingly placing the DVD's back into the shopping bag.
"So…we're just going to keep watching this then?" Freddie asked as the actress on-screen gave another unconvincing scream.
"Guess so," Sam replied now turning to face the screen again.
As Freddie settled back into his spot on the sofa, he felt his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket. Quickly, he haphazardly pulled it out, not noticing what else fell out of his pocket as he did so.
A text from Vivian filled the screen of his phone.
Filming went great today. Call me soon? Can't wait to tell you all about it. Miss you.
Eyeing him closely, Sam spoke up.
"Aww, did Freddie get a message from his girly-friend," she joked in a juvenile manner, though there was a slight bite to her tone.
"Hahaha, Sam," Freddie said as he quickly typed back a reply. "And yes, it is Vivian. She just wanted me to call her."
Looking up from his phone, Freddie saw Sam now carefully eyeing something on the sofa next to him.
It was a black velvet box.
Hastily, Freddie made to grab it and shove it back into the coat pocket it had fallen out of, but Sam was quicker.
Opening it rashly, she stared down at it, the small diamond of the ring glimmering in the glow of the TV.
Almost immediately, she felt her heart drop.
Here it was. A ring…a ring for a girl…a girl who was obviously Vivian. Why he had brought it here, she wasn't sure, but the why didn't matter. What mattered was that he had it.
A ring, obviously meant for Vivian, could only mean one thing.
Suddenly, the ugly truth that Sam had been blissfully ignoring since her talk with Carly earlier in the day, came crashing down around her. Now that she was holding it in the palm of her hand, the truth was a lot harder to ignore.
"Guess I should say congratulations to Vivian," she said finally, her face emotionless as she closed the box and tossed it back onto the sofa.
"Uhmm...yeah," Freddie replied awkwardly as he picked up the box and once again stowed it away safely in his coat pocket.
They sat in awkward silence, Sam's eyes now glued to the screen in front of her while Freddie fiddled awkwardly with the box in his pocket. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but the awkwardness was palpable. He hoped she hadn't gotten the wrong idea and assumed that it was an engagement ring, but even if she had, what did it matter? It's not like she would care, right?
"I'm tired and this movie sucks. I think I'm going to call it night. You know the way out," Sam said suddenly as she reached towards the coffee table and picked up the remote to the DVD player.
"Oh…uhm…okay. I guess," Freddie replied, caught off guard by Sam's abrupt change in attitude and sudden ending of the night.
Sam stood from the sofa and, without so much as a look back, made her way across the living room and towards the hall.
"Wait," Freddie said suddenly as he stood.
He could tell something was wrong. Something in her had changed after she'd seen the ring and he couldn't help but wonder if she was…no, she couldn't be. She wouldn't be. It had to be something though, because something was wrong. That much was clear.
"Are you, okay?"
"Uhm, why wouldn't I be?" Sam replied with an air of nonchalance that would have fooled Freddie had he not known her almost all of his life. "I'm fine. Just tired and you are getting in the way of me sleeping. I think you know how dangerous that is, right?"
She let out a faux sounding laugh, but the hint of sadness and irritation in her eyes betrayed her.
"Sam, I've known you since we were 11. I can tell when something is wrong. What is it?"
Sam rolled her eyes, irritation now completely taking over her features.
"Nothing, Freddie. Just drop it."
"Sam,-" Freddie made to speak up again, but Sam cut him off.
"Look, Freddie. I'm fine. Perfect. Never better. Now, since we've established that, you should probably run along home now. You don't want to keep precious Vivian waiting," Sam replied. The sarcasm in her voice was more than noticeable now, but she did nothing to hide it.
She was being petulant. She knew it, but she was mad. She was mad at him, but mostly she was mad at herself for thinking she still had a chance…a chance that one little ring had reminded her that she didn't have at all.
"What are you talking about?" Freddie asked confused.
"Nothing, Freddie. Forget it," Sam replied crossly. "Anyways, like I said, you know the way out."
"Sam, seriously. What is your problem?" Freddie asked, not letting the conversation end as easily as Sam wished he would.
Sam sighed heavily before speaking up, the words flowing out of her unexpectedly like a dam being let open after months without release.
"You want to know what my problem is?" Sam asked, looking Freddie in the eye, unreasonable bitterness and disappointment that she'd been suppressing now rising in her chest.
"You, Freddie! You. You're my problem. You want me to happy for you? You want me to be happy that you're planning some nubby little future with some chick that I can't stand? You want me to be happy that you're…" Sam paused, her voice breaking slightly as she said the next words "that you're…in love with someone else? Well, I can't be and I know that's selfish and ten kinds of screwed up, but it's how I feel. I can't be happy about any of it because I'm still freaking in love with you. And you know what makes it even more damned pathetic? I somehow managed to delude myself into thinking that I still had a chance."
Sam finished, her face flushed and her chest rising and falling rapidly. She wasn't one for tears, but her eyes were moist. She felt like an idiot being so ridiculously and uncharacteristically emotional, but it was literally as if all the emotions she'd been holding in had come pouring out in one unstoppable rush.
Retrospectively speaking, it was bound to happen eventually. She'd been a ticking time bomb. She should have known it wouldn't take much to blow her cover of bored nonchalance.
Freddie stared dumbfounded at Sam, his eyes wide. His mouth hung open slightly in vague shock, reminding Sam almost unconsciously of a spring night many years ago in an empty school courtyard
Without a word, Freddie suddenly stepped forward, closing the small amount of space that still existed between them. Before Sam knew it, his lips were on hers and she immediately felt that familiar electricity spread through her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
She'd missed that feeling. She'd longed for that feeling. She'd never felt it with anyone else but him. Even in their most chaste of kisses, she'd felt it. It's how she'd always known, even from that innocent night so long ago on a dark fire escape that he was going to be different, that he was not going be easy to forget or ignore…no matter how much she wished he would be.
She felt his tongue begging for entrance and that was why it took all the strength and resolve in her to pull away from him.
There was a feverish, but disappointed, look in his eyes as he stared back at her.
"Wha-what are you doing?" Sam asked, her head spinning.
"You were wrong," he said, still breathing heavily.
"Wha-?" Sam began. This time, it was Freddie's turn to cut her off.
"About everything. Sam, I still love you…and, I don't know, maybe I never even really stopped. I mean, those times we broke up…I never wanted to. I never wanted to break up with you, but I gave in because it seemed like that was what you wanted and I-I just wanted you to be happy, even if wasn't with me. And I was okay with hooking up and everything when we weren't really together, but I always wanted more, Sam. I always really wanted to be with you and I held out hope that maybe one day…one day we would get that chance. Then you met Shawn and I thought you had moved on and that I needed to too. Then when I found out you were moving in with him and thinking about marrying him I just…"
Freddie paused for the first time since he'd begun speaking and breathed in deeply, his eyes closed. "I thought I'd really lost you. I thought I needed to let go because you obviously had and I guess I thought giving that ring to Vivian would help me do it…would help me get over you for good. I realize now that was stupid though because I still love you and no matter what I do, no matter how much denial I'm in, nothing can change that. Nothing can change how I feel about you, Sam."
A heavy silence filled the room as Freddie stared determinedly into Sam's eyes.
After a moment of shocked quiet, Sam finally spoke up, saying the first thing that came to her mind.
"I was never planning on moving in with Shawn…or marrying him," she finally said quietly, her gaze downcast. "I just told Vivian I was because Vivian said…you…and her…" her voice trailed off quietly in embarrassment as she looked up at Freddie, a warmth in his eyes that melted her heart.
Without another word, Sam leaned forward, kissing Freddie with an unexpected intensity. Almost as if by instinct Freddie reached his hands upwards and grabbed her waist tightly, pulling her towards him. That familiar feeling of electricity spread through her body once more as she felt the length of him pressed against her. Slowly, he moved his hands from her waist to her torso, subconsciously inching upwards under the thin fabric of her t-shirt. Her breath hitched slightly as she felt the callousness of his cold fingers touch her bare skin, causing him to stop momentarily.
Immediately, she noticed that his eyes were filled with a familiar longing. It had the dual effect of both making her weak in the knees and yet emboldening her all at once.
She stopped his hand, placing hers on top of his. Almost instantly a deflated look began to settle across his features. However, instead of suggesting they stop, as Freddie had expected her to, she turned, his hand still in hers, and began to lead him out of the living room and down the hall towards her room.
In the deep recesses of both their minds, there was something telling them to stop.
There was something telling them they shouldn't be doing this.
That it wasn't right.
But at that moment, their hands intertwined as they fumbled through the darkness of the hall and into Sam's room, they were both fairly certain that nothing had felt this right in a very long time.
A/N: Sorry its taken so long to update, on the off chance that there's anyone that cares (haha). I've been really busy lately. :/
