A/N: Why hello there, my friends! Surprised to see me? Of course you are, I'm sure you all gave up on me a while back, but I did promise to have this up within a month.
DISCLAIMER: My alibi has not changed. I still do not claim ownership of Merlin.
Blind Trust
Chapter 7
Arthur strode down the hallway briskly. Having lost Merlin quite a few minutes ago, he was starting to think he might not find the boy again today. He was looking in every hallway he passed, peering briefly in each door he encountered, trying to guess where he had gone, but having no luck. The hallways were still rather quiet, considering how early it was, so there weren't as many people to act as witnesses as there normally might be. He had managed to get the general gist of which direction Merlin had gone from the few people around, however, and now he was just trying to figure out where he would have run off to.
Or why, for that matter.
To be honest, Arthur had absolutely no idea what had caused his servant to take off like that. At first he had thought that maybe the questions were getting to be a little TOO hard, and Merlin had taken the opportunity of Arthur's distraction to escape. But it was such an easy answer, almost too easy, and Arthur knew that this could not be all there was to it. He himself had seen the look on Merlin's face right before he fled, the look that was equal parts shock, horror, and fear. That was what he had decided the emotions had been as he had run after the boy. But why, he had asked himself, would Merlin be so terrified looking? And he had decided that it must have been the vase. The self-shattering vase with no explanation. Arthur himself had only been mildly startled where Merlin had acted as though someone had died. Why on earth would he do that?
Arthur thought back to the vase as he glanced in another doorway, found nothing, and continued on. The vase had shattered seemingly out of nowhere, for no reason; the only plausible explanations he had come up with to explain the odd event were both very far-fetched. Either some sort of object had been thrown or had fallen, causing it to break, or it had been broken by magic.
As he had thought before, both were very far-fetched.
At least he thought he had Merlin figured out. He had considered the fact that Merlin had come to the same conclusions as he had, especially the magic one. He knew Merlin had always acted oddly whenever the subject of magic had come up, and he assumed the boy was uncomfortable with it or scared, which wasn't exactly unlikely after the reputation it had earned. Not to mention that his friend in Ealdor-Will, was it?-had died because of his magic. And if Merlin had known about Morgana having magic before, and then watched as she slowly turned bad and began using it for evil, well, no one would blame him for learning to dislike magic after that. So when the vase had shattered, he assumed that Merlin had thought it was magic as well and been terrified.
It was the only logical explanation he had, and it sounded rather plausible.
Arthur stuck his head around yet another corner, only to find an empty hallway once more. He made a noise of frustration and grabbed his hair, turning on the spot towards a window. It was getting progressively brighter outside and he could hear birds calling to each other throughout the town. He racked his brain desperately. Where the hell could Merlin have g-
Then it occurred to him. Merlin always did like the open air, and Arthur bet that's where he would go if he was worried or stressed. He turned back the way he had come, practically running back down the hall until he came to a stairwell. He took two steps at a time, throwing himself forward until he reached the door at the top; there he suddenly lurched to a stop and paused, catching his breath, noting how the door was slightly ajar and sunlight was coming through. He gently pushed it all the way open, glancing out onto the near-deserted battlements.
Sure enough, he saw the tell-tale red shirt and black hair; Merlin was sitting against the stone wall, hunched over with his knees drawn up, staring at the folded hands in his lap. Arthur stepped out, blinking slightly in the bright light, and hesitated for a moment to make sure he wouldn't run away; when Merlin didn't so much as look up in response, Arthur quietly walked over to where he sat bathed in golden sunlight, folded his legs, and sat down next to the boy. Still, Merlin barely moved, just staring into his lap as though Arthur had never shown up. Arthur noticed now that Merlin's hands were trembling ever so slightly, and wondered what it was that caused Merlin to be so shaken. He didn't really know where to start or how to break the silence, though, so he just sat and stared straight ahead, waiting for something to happen. For quite a while nothing did, and they both sat there in silence, until Merlin spoke quite suddenly.
"Were you serious?" He blurted out, turning his head to look at Arthur.
Arthur looked back at him in surprise. "About what?"
Merlin swallowed and looked back into his lap. "About... " He hesitated. "About magic."
Arthur stared at him. Merlin didn't look back up, but he started fiddling with his hands, as though suddenly restless.
"Magic?" Arthur repeated in a confused voice. "You mean what I said before?"
Merlin didn't answer, but he swallowed again.
Arthur's brow creased. "Well, yes, but why is that-"
And then it occurred to him.
And suddenly he thought he knew exactly why.
But... no. It wasn't possible. It was Merlin, there was no way-
Meanwhile, at his sudden silence, Merlin's hands had begun to move vaguely faster, as though more agitated.
Arthur continued to stare at Merlin until finally he managed to speak. "Merlin..." It was a moment before he continued. "You don't... you know... have..."
Merlin didn't look up.
Arthur sat there in shock. It was a moment before he was able to speak again, and he did so rather slowly as though he couldn't quite believe it. "You have magic."
Still no response from Merlin.
Arthur's mind was suspended between shock and denial. It's not possible, he kept telling himself, Merlin couldn't possibly be a sorcerer, he's just a bumbling servant, he couldn't...
But then Arthur realized how it all made sense. He already knew that Merlin wasn't only a stupid idiot, that he had secrets and was more than just a farm boy. He had already known that Merlin had something special about him, that he was different. He thought about how Merlin always went with him on even the most dangerous quests despite his lack of armor or ability with a sword. He always seemed to know what was going on when there was a crisis and he had essentially saved the whole kingdom from Morgana and Morgause. It was as though Arthur had had all the puzzle pieces before him, but he hadn't seen how they fit together until he was given this last, essential piece. Magic. Merlin had had magic all this time.
His first instinct was obviously to be horrified and disgusted, but it was a short-lived feeling considering his mind was still fresh with all the new perspectives he had received in the last day. It was rather odd, he thought offhandedly, how magic being evil had been drilled into him since he was born, and yet in a matter of hours he had allowed his whole viewpoint to change; perhaps it was because he'd always had a feeling deep down that something wasn't right in all the executions and hunts. But here was his best friend, telling him that he had magic, and instead of feeling angry or betrayed, somehow, he felt rather numb, almost calm. Sure, he was completely shocked and had never expected this, but he wasn't feeling exceptionally strongly in either a negative or positive direction. Arthur supposed he was a bit in shock, and it hadn't fully hit him quite yet. That might have had to do with the fact that he hadn't slept at all.
Something else occurred to him. "That vase..."
With shaking hands, Merlin rubbed his temple. "I haven't lost control like that in a long time."
Arthur's frowned, taken aback. "You... you lost control? Is that even possible? I thought magic is a skill that requires effort, not something to... rein in, as you make it sound. You speak as though it has a mind of its own."
"It practically does," Merlin said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm... different, I suppose."
Arthur waited. After a moment, Merlin seemed to realize that he wouldn't get away with leaving it at that and he continued.
"Most people study and learn magic, right? They choose to use it, they choose to be sorcerers. Well, I didn't."
Arthur was completely bemused. "I don't understand."
Merlin sighed and turned his head to face the prince. "I was born with magic, Arthur." Arthur felt his mouth open in surprise, but Merlin continued. "I had magic as a child, and it was instinctual, like walking. I would use it without even realizing what I was doing, catching falling objects in midair and moving things without touching them. It wasn't something I could suppress or be overly conscious of; it just sort of happened."
Arthur didn't know what to say. "How...?"
"I don't know," Merlin said, understanding his unarticulated question. "Other people are born with natural magical abilities, but no one has ever come close to the power I have. I don't know what I am or why I was born like this. I used to think I was a monster."
If possible, Arthur was even more surprised, and didn't know how to respond to that last comment. He tried to imagine Merlin as a young boy, being born with magic in a land that outlawed it; knowing Merlin, he was probably a sweet, friendly little kid, and being told he was born of something that was evil must have been incredibly disturbing. Arthur wasn't surprised that he had had doubts about himself. It made him angry, since Merlin was probably the nicest, kindest person he knew.
Merlin had fallen silent and Arthur didn't have anything to say, so they just sat there, both in their own thoughts.
Suddenly Merlin blurted out, "Well?"
Arthur was taken aback by his abrupt manner. "Well what?"
Merlin looked at him with a slightly worried expression. "Well... what do you think?"
Arthur frowned. "Well, I'm rather surprised, obviously. I'm not sure it ever so much as crossed my mind that you might be a sorcerer. So... yeah, I'm surprised."
Merlin still looked anxious. "What, is that all?"
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "What were you expecting, for me to arrest you?"
"Maybe," Merlin replied seriously.
Arthur stared at him. "You really thought I would take this that badly?"
"You're not angry?"
Arthur just shook his head. "Not particularly, no. At least not yet. I'm not sure if it's just a delayed reaction, but at the moment I'm alright. Like I said, I've been changing my mind about magic."
"You're not even angry about the lying?"
"You mean the fact that you've lied to my face for years?" Arthur said dryly. "Yes, I suppose I am rather upset about that, but I understand some of it. I haven't exactly been very pro-magic in the past, and I can understand how any sorcerer, good or evil, would want to keep their skills a secret. And after all, by now I was already quite aware that you weren't being very honest with me," Arthur reminded him cuttingly, "it's not exactly new information. I've already somewhat come to terms with that."
Merlin flinched a bit at that last remark, though he still didn't look satisfied. "But still-"
"Look," Arthur interjected before he could continue, "do you want me to be angry? Are you trying to have me arrest you?"
Merlin shut his mouth immediately, before quietly replying, "No."
"Then stop arguing," Arthur said tiredly. "I'm still trying to mull over everything."
Merlin went back to staring at his lap while Arthur reflected on everything that had been thrown at him, still trying to fit some of the last pieces into the puzzle. Everything about Merlin seemed to make sense... mostly.
"Why the hell did you come to Camelot if you have uncontrollable magic?"
Merlin shrugged. "I was just a farm boy in Ealdor with no real prospects and no use. With the amount of power I had, my mother felt I was meant for bigger and better things, but it was dangerous for me to just wander the kingdoms with my magic. I told you, it's practically instinctual, I can't just stop using it altogether and I couldn't always contain it. I traveled here so I could stay with Gaius, and he was supposed to help me. I came to Camelot to learn to control my magic and find a use for it, and... well... I did, I suppose."
"And what might that be?"
Merlin sighed. "To protect you, unfortunately."
Arthur started to make a sound of incredulity when he stopped, suddenly remembering something Merlin had said, back when his father had gone insane and the castle was under attack. Hadn't Merlin mentioned something about how he was protecting Arthur, just like he always had? Arthur had laughed at the time, but was it really true?
"You protect me. With magic." Arthur still couldn't manage to keep that twinge of skepticism out of his voice.
"Well, yeah," Merlin replied, and Arthur almost thought he heard a note of pride in the boy's voice. "Pretty much. I've saved your stupid royal arse more times than I can count."
"And what exactly is it that I need saving from?" Arthur asked, slightly annoyed. He was a knight, a prince; surely he didn't need that much saving, it wasn't as if he were a damsel in distress.
Merlin seemed to think for a minute. "Well, there's the usual, you know, assassins, bandits, mercenaries, sorcerers... The magical beasts that you always insist on fighting... A few armies..."
Arthur's brow furrowed. "You mean to say you've defeated all of those? All in the name of protecting me and all without recognition?"
"It's not credit I'm after," Merlin said soberly. "I'm just protecting my friends and my home in any way I can. And I usually seem to be the only one with the power to stop our enemies or troubles, so it ends up being my responsibility."
"So you... use it often? Your magic?"
Merlin snorted. "Of course I use my magic. How do you think I finish the ridiculous amount of chores you give me every day?"
Arthur raised his eyebrows.
"I mean," Merlin said, paling slightly, "I might occasionally use it. Now and then. When there's dire need, lives at stake, that sort of thing."
Arthur's eyebrows rose slightly further.
"It's not my fault," Merlin blurted after a second, "I told you I can't always help it. And you really do give me a ridiculous amount of chores, I mean I have to do your laundry and muck your stables and polish your armor and clean your room, while also helping Gaius and trying to save the kingdom from falling every other day. It's not my fault," he repeated feebly, his rant dying out rather suddenly.
Arthur just snorted. "Slacker."
Merlin made a noise of indignation, and Arthur felt the corners of his lips tugging upward. It felt as though the tension between them had partially eased and being in each other's presence was fairly comfortable again.
Unfortunately, Arthur noted, the sun was getting rather high by now and the sounds of the town were becoming louder. It was getting late, and Arthur had his duties as acting regent to attend to. "Well, I have to go. I've got a castle to run and matters to take care of," he announced, standing up and brushing off his pants.
"Yes, you do," Merlin acknowledged. "But... you're sure you're not going to... do anything?"
Arthur sighed. "For the last time, Merlin, I'm not going to arrest you. Just... give me time to think things over, alright? I need to sort everything out in my head, and we can talk more later. For now, just forget about it."
Merlin nodded solemnly but didn't get up. Arthur made his way back to the door and stepped across the threshold. He glanced back once, only to find Merlin still sitting in the exact same position; he suspected that the servant must need some private time to think as well. It was strange, to look at the familiar figure and try to view him as a powerful sorcerer; it just didn't seem to fit in his mind, and instead of a terrifying magical being, all Arthur could see was the young, lanky boy with the goofy smile who he called his friend. Shaking his head slightly in wonder, he turned and began down the long staircase, leaving the door behind him slightly open.
A/N: Ta-da! Are you satisfied for the moment? Good. Yes, we've finally gotten to the reveal, and I'd say that was the climax of the story. At the moment, I'm thinking only one more chapter to wrap things up, might be more of an epilogue... we'll see where my inspiration pulls me.
As always, please leave your comments, criticisms, thoughts, questions, job applications, marriage requests, anything you want really. And thanks for reading. It's nice to know the Merlin fandom is holding strong even after the show has ended.
