Knowledge Oneshots- 1.1 and 1.2
1.1
As one of the more adjusted T&I-nins, the psyche evaluations usually fell to him and it took a special kind of freaky to make Yamanaka Inoichi look as dead-eyed as he did that fateful day. The blond man sighed heavily through his nose, dragging his free hand across his face and, carefully keeping the multitude of folders tucked under one arm, continued to force himself up the stairs of the Hokage's office tower- (the poor man seemed so drained, he forgot he was a shinobi, so, he walked the grueling stairs- instead of the ceiling.. pfft.. poor Inoichi...)
Finally reaching his boss' office, he walked in without announcing himself as Sandaime-sama knew he was dropping off the files and reports. He did not expect to see a completely wasted Hyuuga Hiashi sobbing like a little girl into his nephew's shoulder, as the young man attempted to explain to the village leader why the leader of a prominent clan was sniffling like a four-year old. Huh, 's not even five-thirty yet... Damn...
Sarutobi Hiruzen had seen many things; after all, the man had lived through several wars, battles and other such skirmishes, however, the traumatized look on the Yamanaka clan head's face was worrying. "Inoichi-san, were there any complications with the evaluations?"
Inoichi gave up all pretenses of being stoic, taciturn and detached- the man looked like he had seen Anko and Ibiki go to town- and then some- on a prisoner. "Hokage-sama.. I- n- th-" He took a steadying breath, "To answer your question, Hokage-sama, yes-and-no. There were a few genin whose profiles were flagged- Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru and Hyuuga Hinata to start with. During the evaluations, the profiles of Aburame Shino, Uzumaki Naruto and- uh, Yamanaka Ino had also been flagged. Those files were also marked with two of the older genin-" Here he paused, turning to Neji, who had cast a long-suffering gaze to the stoically trying not to laugh Hokage, "Your teammates, actually." The Hyuuga genius simply pinned the blond with a Really?-Not-like-I-could-tell look. "Hah, well. This group of eight genin was flagged for the- eh... extra presences... in their subconsciousness."
Neji stared at the former head of the T&I department, feeling a years-spanning-headache ensuing. "I am going to assume, that because of these past-'selves', that's why they all use strange nicknames, and use a sort of code? Goddammit..." The thirteen-year-old shoved his uncle away from him. "I'm starting to get the impression I should start a support group..."
Hiruzen turned a thoughtful gaze to Neji, "You know, that's not a bad idea."
Inoichi facepalmed.
Neji blinked.
Hiashi cried even harder.
...LINE?!...No, seriously, line?!...
1.2
"Uzumaki Naruto! You are required to demonstrate the Henge, Kawarimi and Bunshin jutsu-" The short and adorable blond glowered at the white haired chuunin instructor. 'God.. Mizuki's such a- ' "Alright! I'm gonna prove my skills!" His hands flew into the signs, and with a poof of smoke, where cute, short blond, blue-eyed Naruto stood, a taller, handsomer blond-brunet with orange eyes stood smirking, making another set of signs, Mizuki found himself off balance. 'Okay, it's the goddamned Illusion clone... Let's try it...' Once more his hands aligned themselves- and "Bunshin!" A pair of pitiful dame-Tsuna clones lay sprawled on the floor. "Eh, dammit! That-" Another puff of smoke had the Henge dispelling. "Argh! I still can't get this f-!" Throwing his hands into the air, and pouting angrily, Naruto stomped out.
"'A special graduation' he says. 'It'll make you a cool ninja' he says. 'Kiss my ass' I say, 'By the way, I call bullshit' I add. Say, Jiji- are there any super-powerful bunshin-types?" Hiruzen chuckled genially, "Of course, I'll send an ANBU squad over too." Naruto glomped his grandfather, "Thank you, thank you, I'll be right back!"
"That's why everyone hates you- you're the Kyuubi!" Iruka paled, and was about to respond when Naruto bursted into incredulous and amused laughter- "Pfft- you're an idiot, I know. It's hard not to know when you've got three voices in your head. Also, Mizuki, three out of three voices don't like you- so, KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" As he said that, he crossed his fingers into a cross, and four-hundred-some-odd clones popped into existence, "Henge!" And 1/4 of the clones transformed into the blond from earlier, another 1/4 turned into a less pathetic version of the brunet from earlier, and the final 1/4th turned into a taller, older, ginger, more heavily whiskered Naruto. General clone consensus- Mizuki-bastard is going down.
"You're okay, right, Iruka-sensei?" Shakily giggling, he reached out to hug Naruto really tightly, "Yea-" His voice cracked a little, "Yeah, I'm okay... Gods, don't scare me like that again." Naruto agreed not to, as he liked breathing- which was kinda difficult due to being squished against Iruka's flak jacket.
The ANBU operative known as Seahorse was really questioning his rather poor luck- not only was he on a slow night shift, he was the designated report-writer, and he had to help scrape Mizuki, the traitor, off of the forest floor.
"My mother always warned me there would be days like this..." He grumbled, "Why didn't I listen to her, and settle down as an ikebana practitioner?"
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Notes:
1.1: So, Inoichi has a terrified of the Vongola, and, in Naru's case the Kyuubi, as well... Hiashi is traumatized and distraught- his evil-I-tell-you-pure-evil brother has been encouraging his little girl to become a 'discipline-machine'. Hiruzen and Neji decide to create a support group for the senseis, teammates and family of the 'nutty reincarnations'.
1.2: Iruka is also a worried mother-hen for Naruto. Also, as Naru-chan says, it's kind of difficult to ignore three worried-for-you voices in your head. Also also, I really feel bad for this once-off OC Seahorse- he's got some pretty bad timing/luck.
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