November 30, 2012

Walkerville High Stadium

8:02 P.M.

"And Walkerville gets the field goal! And…" BUZZ! "That's the game! Walkerville High wins, 30-28!"

From the bleachers, Tim and Carlos leapt up in enthusiasm along with the rest of the crowd, cheering loudly. Dorothy Ann glanced up from her book. "Oh, is it over?"

"What do you mean 'is it over?'" Carlos questioned, still pumped. "How could you take your eyes off of it? That was beautiful!" Carlos exchanged high fives with several strangers in the bleachers.

DA rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Are you guys ready to go?" Arnold and Phoebe quickly stood from their seats, nodding.

"Why'd you guys come if you don't like football anyway?" Tim inquired as the five walked down the stairs.

"Everyone was making such a big fuss over the homecoming game that I figured it must be at least somewhat interesting," Dorothy Ann retorted. "I was wrong."

Arnold shrugged. "I just came to see Wanda and Keesha fail at cheerleading."

"Ya, they weren't the best…" Tim grimaced.

"And I came because Carlos offered me free food," Phoebe added.

"Right…" Carlos dug around in his pocket for a second before pulling out a few crumpled dollar bills. "Go get yourself something nice, kid." Grinning, Phoebe took the money and wandered off to the concession stands.

Tim glanced at Arnold. "You're not going with her?"

"Oh, uh… She'll be fine," Arnold muttered, putting his hands in his pockets.

"But you guys have been inseparable since you started dating," Tim frowned. "Did you break up or something?"

"No!" Arnold responded quickly. "We don't have to be together all the time, you know! It's not like we need each other! I mean, we just started dating; separation is good. We don't wanna take things too fast, you know. We've got our whole lives—we don't need to rush into anything!"

Tim threw his hands up defensively. "Calm down, dude! Did something happen?"

"I didn't do anything dumb!" Arnold shouted as Tim shrugged. DA and Carlos awkwardly exchanged a glance.

"Oh, look," Carlos cried a second later, "There's Wanda and Keesha! Let's go say hi!"

The group quickly walked over to the cheerleaders. Upon seeing them, Wanda jumped up and down enthusiastically. "Did you see us?" She cried excitedly. "Were we awesome? Why am I asking—of course we were! So, what'd you think?"

The group was quiet for a second. "Um…" Tim's mouth opened and shut a few times before he spoke. "Well… Your uniforms are… Provocative."

"Aww!" Wanda pulled Tim into a tight hug. "You always know what to say!"

"Sure." Tim stepped away slightly.

"What'd you think of the game?" Keesha asked, glancing around the group. "I can't believe you got DA to come."

Dorothy Ann crossed her arms. "Well… Consider it the last game I'll ever come to see. Are there really idiots who pay to watch this?"

Keesha rolled her eyes. "Tell us how you really feel, why don't you?"

"Well, I'm sorry! It's not my fault that I have better things to do with my life-"

"Hey, guys!" Looking up, the friends were surprised to see Ralphie approaching. "I didn't know you were coming to the game."

"Sure," Arnold nodded. "We wanted to show our support."

Ralphie let out a grin. "Really?"

"Uh-huh!" Wanda jumped up again. "They came to watch me and Keesha—it was our first game of the season."

"Oh…" Ralphie frowned. "You guys came to watch the cheerleaders…"

Carlos looked at Ralphie, confused. "Uh… Yes?"

"What's wrong?" Dorothy Ann put a hand on Ralphie's shoulder.

"Nothing," Ralphie shook DA's hand away. "I just thought that you might have come to watch me, that's all."

Keesha thought for a second. "Watch you what?"

"Play football."

The group looked at Ralphie in surprise. "You play football?" Wanda exclaimed.

"Ya…"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I did!" Ralphie cried, exasperated. "I mentioned, like, every day at lunch this week!"

Keesha eyed Ralphie skeptically. "Are you sure? Because I'm sure one of us would of heard you-"

"No you wouldn't! You guys never listen to anything I say!"

Tim nodded. "You know, I once read a study about how girls have limited listening skills."

"And I once read a study about how Tim makes up studies when he wants to sound smart," DA retorted, glaring at Tim. "And anyway, you didn't know that Ralphie was on the football team either."

"Well… Whatever!" Tim stuck his tongue out at Dorothy Ann.

Carlos turned to Ralphie. "Well, I'm sure that we've listened to something that you've said at some point in time."

Ralphie shook his head. "Nope. Nothing."

"Well, I'm sure we've listened to something that someone has said at some point in history."

Ralphie shook his head again. "Face it—you are all incredibly self-absorbed."

"Us?" Keesha glared at Ralphie. "It's not like you listen to us any more than we listen to you!"
Ralphie let out a fake laugh. "Oh, but I do!"
"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Guys, stop!" DA cut in. "This is not the way to resolve this."

Wanda snapped her fingers. "I know what we can do! We'll all take a quiz about each other! Whoever scores the best listens to everyone else the most!"

"Ooh, ya!" Carlos enthused. "We could do it like a game show!"

Keesha pondered the idea for a moment. "I guess it would be fun to prove Ralphie wrong. I'm in."

Tim nodded in agreement. "I have nothing better to do."

"One problem," Arnold frowned, "Who'd write the questions?"

Tim thought for a second. "It would have to be someone who knows us well. Someone impartial. Someone who actually listens to us when we speak…"

"Hey guys!" Phoebe grinned, rejoining the group with a churro in her hand. "I was going to get some food for the rest of you, but then I remembered your conversation earlier about how good dinner was at that fancy new restaurant, so I figured you wouldn't be hungry; plus, Carlos hates all traditionally Mexican dishes, so I didn't want to spend his money on something that he wouldn't enjoy." Glancing around the group, Phoebe noticed Ralphie for the first time. "Oh, how was the game Ralphie? I know you were excited about it all week." After a moment of silence, Phoebe's grin faded. "Why are you all staring at me?"

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Basement

8:14 P.M.

Phoebe glanced at the group, confused. "So you guys want me to make up a bunch of trivia questions about us? Why?"

"We need to see who in the group pays the most attention to someone besides themselves," Keesha explained.

"Why don't I get to compete?"

"Because you'd win!"

"Oh, true." Phoebe thought for a second. "Well… I guess I could do that."

"Awesome!" Wanda enthused. "So while Phoebe writes questions, we can lay out the ground rules."

Carlos nodded. "First, I think we should discuss where this show will take place. If we're going to give this quiz the essence of a game show, we're going to need a location with more pizzazz."

"Hm…" Arnold glanced around the room. "I might have an idea."

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Attic

8:21 P.M.

"Arnold," Tim questioned, "Why is your attic designed like the studio for 'The Weakest Link'?"

Arnold shrugged. "My parents redesigned the house when I made friends, and my mom figured that something like this would come up."

"She figured that this would happen?"

Arnold nodded. "She likes to be prepared."

Keesha rolled her eyes. "Well, Carlos, does this room have enough 'pizzazz' for you?"

Carlos carefully inspected the room. "Yes, this will suffice."

"Great," Keesha turned to Phoebe, who was currently scribbling notes down onto a clipboard. "Are the questions ready?"

"Almost… Why don't you guys finish laying out the rules?"

"That's probably a good idea." Tim turned to the rest of the group. "So, each round we each get asked 1 question. If you answer incorrectly, you're eliminated. Last person standing wins—sound good?" Everyone nodded.

Wanda raised her hand. "Question—what's the prize?"

"Bragging rights?"

"Lame; I want a prize."

"Well…" Tim thought for a moment. "How about the winner can cash in on a prize later?"

"I don't know," DA contemplated. "What if they abuse the power and ask for something ridiculous?"

Tim groaned. "I don't know, stop asking me! How about they run their prize idea past Phoebe and she can decide if it's reasonable or not?"

DA sighed. "Fine, I guess that'll work."

"Awesome. You ready, Phoebe?"

Phoebe nodded. "I guess so. You guys should go stand at your podiums now."

Everyone ran to their spots. Ralphie let out a big grin. "Let's play The Weakest Link!"

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Attic

8:28 P.M.

Once everyone was at their station, Phoebe walked to the central podium. "Okay… Who goes first?"

"I should go first!" Wanda shouted, raising her hand in the air.

The rest of the group glared at her. "Why?" Keesha argued.

"Because if you don't let me go first, I will set your lockers on fire."

"Fair enough."

"Good logic!"
"So Wanda will go first…"

"Alright, Wanda," Phoebe turned to the Asian girl. "How-"

"Wait!" Carlos interrupted.

The group let out a groan. "What!?"

"We have to introduce ourselves—like a real game show!"

Wanda nodded. "That's a good point. My name is Wanda, and I'm from Walkerville-"

"JUST START THE GAME!"

Wanda crossed her arms, pouting. "Fine…"

"Question 1;" Phoebe paused, checking for any interruptions. When nobody spoke up, she grinned and continued with the question. "How many pets have I had throughout my life?"

Wanda pursed her lips, thinking. "Well… There was that cat in 4th grade… And for a while you wouldn't shut up about a hamster;" Phoebe gave a small frown. "And then there was that dying opossum that you nursed back to health…Um… A butt load?"

Phoebe paused and stared at Wanda. "That's your guess?"
"Yup. And I feel good about it."

"Um… No."

"NO!" Wanda cried, falling to the floor. "I was so close to victory!"

Tim looked down at Wanda. "It was the first question-"

"SO CLOSE!"

Ralphie looked back to Phoebe. "So, how many pets have you had?"

"14."

"And how many died after they got run over?" Carlos chuckled.

"14…" Phoebe sighed. "The shelter won't let me adopt pets anymore… They say that the animals are better off on the street."

Keesha nodded sympathetically. "I remember that… Tough luck."

"Anyway…" Phoebe glanced around the gang. "Ralphie gets the next question."

"Sweet!"

"Ralphie—what was Tim's science fair project in 6th grade that nearly set the school on fire?"

Ralphie thought for a moment. "Something tasty… Smelt like Canada… It was a pancake maker!"

"Correct!"

Tim shook his head. "Actually, it was a battery powered matter-altering apparatus that could change a solution's physical state using thermal radiation."

Ralphie glanced at Tim. "Just call it a pancake maker."

"Just call it a liability," Arnold corrected.

"Call it the reason I had to color on a fake eyebrow for the second half of 6th grade," Wanda sulked, still sitting on the floor.

The group let out a collective grimace. "Oh yeah," Arnold recalled, "That was gross."

Phoebe turned to Keesha. "You're next. Keesha, how many times have we gone inside of Arnold?"

"3!" Keesha answered confidently. "Once when Ralphie and I went in through his skin, and twice when he ate us!"

Arnold scrunched up his face. "That was also gross."

"Gross, but correct." Keesha gave a quiet cheer. "Carlos—" Carlos looked up at Phoebe, "During middle school, Dorothy Ann set a school record for the largest number of books borrowed by a single student during 1 year. How many books did she borrow?"

Carlos gave a quiet chuckle. "69!" Wanda began to giggle as well. DA glared at both of them.

"Correct. And Tim, how many of those books did she read?"

Tim frowned. "She didn't read all of them? Crap…" Tim thought for a moment. "Um… 60?"

"No, 9."

"9?" Carlos let out another laugh. "You read 9 books?"

Dorothy Ann folded her arms. "It's not my fault," she explained. "I was busy that year."

"Then why'd you keep checking books out?"

"I still wanted to win!"

Arnold looked at DA. "It was middle school—you would've won with 9."

Phoebe nodded. "That's true; second place was Harry Arm, and he only checked out 3 books that year."

Tim looked at Phoebe surprised. "Why do you know that? We don't even hang out with Harry Arm!"

Phoebe shrugged. "He was really excited about it. Don't you guys remember him talking about it?"

Tim took a deep breath. "Phoebe, if we listened to anybody when they talked, we wouldn't be here right now."

"Good point." Phoebe looked down at the clipboard. "Okay, Arnold—at the end of 8th grade, our social studies teacher made the entire class take a test in order to see who had the best geographic knowledge after a year of studying the world. Who of the 8 of us had the highest grade on that test?"

"Someone smart…" Arnold glanced around the group. "Was it… Dorothy Ann?"

Phoebe offered Arnold a small frown. "Sorry, Arn. Actually, it was Wanda."

"Wanda?!" Everyone turned to Wanda in surprise.

Wanda gave a simple shrug. "I'm good at guessing."

Dorothy Ann, Arnold, and Tim exchanged horrified glances. "We lost to her?" DA shrieked. Tim covered his face in shame.

Wanda laughed at the exaggerated reactions. "Chill out, guys. That quiz was supposed to be on 3rd grade knowledge."

"So why did I do so badly?" DA moaned.

"Because Ms. Frizzle never taught us any geography!"

"Or math." Carlos added.

"Or 3rd grade level science, for that matter." Phoebe added after a moment of thought. "Although I do know how to repair an engine now. You know, as long as the problem is I dropped my sandwich in it."

The group reflected on 3rd grade. "What did we do in that class, anyway?"

"We went into a chicken," Keesha responded.

Arnold let out a groan. "And me."

"Like I said…"

Dorothy Ann rubbed her temples. "Can we get back to the quiz? It's my question."

"Right." Phoebe cleared her throat. "Who has Carlos described as 'the girl he would most like to date'?"

Dorothy Ann gave a slight blush while Carlos awkwardly turned away from the group. "Uh, that would be me…"

Phoebe nodded gleefully. "I know that was a really easy question—I just wanted to hear you say it."

Carlos glared at Phoebe. "The power has gotten to your head."

"And DA has gotten into yours."

Dorothy Ann let out a cough. "So… End of round 1… We should take a break."
Phoebe sighed. "Fine… In a few minutes, we'll do a recap. Then we can continue the quiz."

"We'll be back after these short commercial breaks!" Ralphie grinned.

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Kitchen

8:51 P.M.

"Mmm, these Mallowblasters are really good!" Wanda commented, mouth full of the gooey snack.

"All Mallowblasters are good Mallowblasters, Wanda," Arnold enthused, pouring cups of milk for the group.

Dorothy Ann grimaced. "Don't speak with your mouth full, Wanda."

Wanda rolled her eyes. "Sorry, mom."

"So the craziest thing happened in math today…" Keesha began.

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Attic

8:57 P.M.

"And… We're back!" Ralphie announced.

DA glanced around the room in slight confusion. "Um… We know… We're all right here."

Phoebe walked back to her central podium. "Are you ready to get back to the game?" Phoebe asked, turning to Ralphie. "You're up first."

Ralphie nodded. "Bring it!"

"Ralphie, in elementary school, what cartoon did Wanda want to be a character in?"

Ralphie paused. "The one about the fairies… Winx Club!"

"That's correct."

Keesha looked at Wanda in surprise. "You wanted to be a magical fairy? Isn't that kinda girly for you?"

Wanda shrugged. "Whatever, I'm not ashamed—and I know I have more power burning deep inside me than that red-haired bitch."

"Keesha, your next," Phoebe interrupted before Wanda could begin her ranting.

Keesha nodded. "Great. There is nothing you can ask that I can't answer."

"It's about Weatherman."
"Shit."

"As we all know," Phoebe questioned, "Tim designed a fully colored Weatherman comic book series in 3rd grade. What was the name of Weatherman's 2nd comic strip?"

Keesha groaned. "How should I know?" She cried. "I never listen to him!"
Ralphie pointed at Keesha accusingly. "I KNEW IT!"

"Do you forfeit?" Phoebe asked Keesha, choosing to ignore Ralphie's outburst.

Keesha sighed. "I suppose…"

"IN YOUR FACE!" Ralphie cried, dancing at his podium.

"Anyway," Phoebe continued, "The comic was named 'Why So Cirrus?'." Carlos gave a chuckle while the rest of the group just stared at Phoebe, clearly unimpressed. "It was about clouds…" Awkwardly, Phoebe looked down to her clipboard. "So, Carlos… Back in middle school, Arnold became obsessed—er, fascinated," Phoebe shot Arnold an apologetic look, "with people's horoscopes. What were 3 of our zodiac signs?"

Carlos rested his head on his hand. "I know this! Um… Well, I was the virgin lady…"

"Were?" Keesha coughed.

Carlos glared at Keesha. "And, um… I think there was cow?"

Phoebe shook her head. "Sorry, that's not one of the zodiac signs."

"And you're a Virgo!" Arnold cried. "Geez…"

Phoebe turned to face Dorothy Ann. "You get the last question this round, DA," she explained. "If you miss it, Ralphie wins the game. Are you ready?"

Dorothy Ann nodded.

"Here goes… Over the summer, Carlos decided to try learning a new language. While we all told him that Spanish would be the most useful since his ENTIRE FAMILY speaks it fluently, what language did he decide to learn instead?"

"Hmm…" Dorothy Ann was quiet for a minute.

Keesha clenched her hands into fists, clearly agitated. "Come on, DA!" She cheered. "You can't let Ralphie win!"

"Hey!" Ralphie glared at Keesha. "Why not? I never win anything!"

"SHH! Let me think…" DA put her head down on the desk. "It was something so dumb, so abstract…" Suddenly, DA stood up straight. "It was Norwegian!"
"Yes!"

Keesha let out a whoop. "Take that, Ralphie!"

Ralphie shrugged. "Whatever, I still beat you.

Tim shook his head. "I forgot about the Norwegian thing… How'd that go for you, Carlos?"

"It's a work in progress…" Carlos rubbed the back of his neck.

"So after our break," Phoebe announced, "We will have a final lightening round—Ralphie vs. Dorothy Ann!"

"And may the odds—"

"If you quote another TV show, I'll strangle you," Keesha threatened.

"It was a movie…" Ralphie sulked.

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Basement

9:13 P.M.

"And… Game!" Carlos threw his hands up enthusiastically. "I am the king of Mario Kart!"

Arnold glanced up to the nearby clock. "Should we get back to the quiz? It's getting kinda late."

The group glanced around at each other for a bit. "We have time for one more race," Wanda decided, grabbing her controller. "We have all night to make fools of ourselves."

The rest of the group, nodding in agreement, resumed the race.

November 30, 2012

Arnold's Attic

9:31 P.M.

Filing into the room, everyone resumed their positions behind their podiums. Ralphie and Dorothy Ann stared at each other intensely.

"You're going down," DA taunted, still glaring.

"You're going more down," Ralphie retorted.

"Nu-uh!"
"Yu-huh!"

Keesha crossed her arms. "Great talk, guys."

"Maybe you should just start the round," Arnold commented to Phoebe.

Phoebe nodded. "Ralphie—how many times does Dorothy Ann wash her hands before she'll eat?"

"3?"

"Correct."

Ralphie smirked at DA. "Take that!"

Tim gave Dorothy Ann a glance. "You wash your hands 3 times?"

"Forgive me for not wanting to get an infection and die!" DA retorted. "Give me my question, Phoebe."

"Sure." Phoebe looked down at her clipboard. "During 7th grade, Ralphie and Carlos decided to have an all-night Star Wars movie marathon. How many of the films did they get through?"

"1/2 of the 1st one," DA smirked back at Ralphie. "You're not the only one who can answer questions correctly."

"Hold on," Tim cut in, "Half of the real 1st one or the fake 1st one?"

"The crappy one."

Tim let out a sigh. "Guys…"

Phoebe cleared her throat. "So, Ralphie," she read, "When we were in 5th grade Wanda thought that she could fly. How many times did she jump off her roof that year?"

"Pfft, too easy," Ralphie commented smoothly. "7."

"7 TIMES?" Arnold turned to Wanda in surprise.

Wanda shrugged. "If at first you don't succeed-"

"BE GRATEFUL YOU DIDN'T GET KILLED!"

"Dorothy Ann," Phoebe continued, "Who amongst the 8 of us has made the most people cry using just their words?"

"Keesha!"

"Correct."

"And who has made the most people cry by hitting them in the crotch with a golf club?" Carlos giggled.

Phoebe looked at Carlos, surprised. "Well, I… No making up your own questions!" She cried defensively.

Arnold glanced at Carlos suspiciously. "How do you know about that?"

"Um… I was walking past?" Carlos's face grew flushed. "Next question, Phoebe."

"Who is my favorite singer?"

Ralphie thought for a moment. "You can't decide between Joshua Radin and Regina Spektor."

"Correct," Phoebe responded, shocked. "You remember?"

"Of course," Ralphie answered. "You get really passionate about music—I always listen."

Phoebe shot Ralphie a small smile. Awkwardly, Arnold gave a cough. "So, uh, how about the next question, girlfriend?"

Phoebe nodded her head. "Of course… Dorothy Ann, what is Ralphie's greatest fear?"

"Chickens," Dorothy Ann shot back confidently, "Ever since that one chased him down in 6th grade."

"Chickens?" Keesha raised a brow towards Ralphie. "Manly."

Ralphie let out a sigh. "Thanks for that, Pheebs."

"Sorry… Anyway, what did Arnold once describe as 'food of the Gods-'"

"Mallowblasters!" Ralphie interrupted. "Next!"

"Dorothy Ann—how many of us currently participate in Walkerville High Sports?"

Dorothy Ann froze. "Um… Well, Wanda and Keesha cheerlead… And Carlos plays soccer… So 3!"

Phoebe looked down at her clipboard. "That's… wrong."

"What!?"
"I PLAY FOOTBALL!" Ralphie shouted. "WE JUST DISCUSSED THIS!"

Phoebe walked over to Ralphie and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Ralphie, you won!"
"NOOO!" Keesha cried, falling to the floor. "Ralphie never wins!"

"I won?" Ralphie's face lit up. "I won! I proved Keesha wrong! I listen to you guys way more than you listen to me!" Ralphie turned to Phoebe enthusiastically. "Do I get a trophy?"

"Um… no… But I can give you a hug."

"Ya!" Ralphie pulled Phoebe into a tight hug. "I'm a winner!"
"Congrats… Ouch…"

Ralphie dropped Phoebe to the ground and walked up to Keesha. "You know what this means?"

Keesha groaned. "What does it mean, Ralphie?"

"You guys are my bitches!" Ralphie enthused.

Carlos let out a sigh. "We've created a monster."

"What are you going to make them do?" Phoebe asked, clearly slightly worried for the well being of her friends.

Ralphie thought about it. "I don't know…" he murmured. "I have to go think about it… See you losers later!" With a grin, Ralphie walked out of the room.

DA turned to Tim and Carlos, irked. "I told you we shouldn't have gone to that football game!"

"I guess from now on, homecoming will have to be home-leaving—as in we never leave our homes for homecoming again!"

"CARLOS!"

As the group began leaving the room, Arnold took a moment to pull Phoebe aside. Phoebe looked at Arnold, confused. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Arnold was quiet for a moment. "I just wanted to make sure we're still okay…"

"Of course we are-"

"I know I freaked you out the other day," Arnold explained, "So I started thinking—maybe it's okay to be a little cautious."

Phoebe smirked. "And not tell someone you love them on the second date?"

Arnold grimaced. "Pretty much… I guess we shouldn't get that serious right now—you know, because we're 9th graders and all that. Can we just pretend that I wasn't an idiot?"

Phoebe gave a quiet laugh. "That sounds good."

"So you're not going to cheat on me with Ralphie because he knows what kind of music you like?"

"No!" Phoebe took Arnold's hands in her own. "You know, I kind of missed worrisome Arnold."

"Really?"
Phoebe nodded. "I think it's great that your trying to be more bold and impulsive, but to me you'll always be that boy who wished he'd stayed home."

Arnold grinned. "In that case, I'll be sure to freak out a lot more!"

"But you know," Phoebe continued "If you wanted to be impulsive and kiss me right now, that's be okay too."

"Are you sure?" Arnold asked, not wanting to look like a fool again.

Phoebe smiled. "I always wanted my first kiss to be with a boy who cowers in the face of adventure."

With a grin, Arnold leaned in and placed his lips onto Phoebe's.