Chapter 7

Derek wasn't sure how long he remained standing in the ally, watching Stiles retreating back until he was no longer in sight, but apparently it was long enough for the rest of the pack to start worrying. The fact that he didn't even realise his pack had joined him outside until Lydia placed a hand on his shoulder, jolting him back to reality.

Rubbing his face roughly he berated himself internally. He was the alpha he should be alert at all times. If he hadn't been able to tell his own pack had arrived, hadn't been able to hear nor smell them, then how would he be able to tell when something dangerous was near?

He shook his head as if trying to get rid of any lingering thoughts of the younger boy before starting to walk down the backstreet after Stiles. Ignoring the packs worried shouts Derek started sprinting, following Stiles scent. He didn't care how late it was he had to see the boy tonight.

The last time he had let himself get this distracted by someone he had lost his entire family in one night. He had to end this before it could begin, he had to protect himself, protect the pack, no matter what it cost him personally. Even if there was no way Stiles would do what she had Derek couldn't take the risk. After all he had once thought there was no way she would do what she did.

When Stiles scent suddenly grew stronger then disappeared Derek found himself coming to a stop outside a rundown 7/11 in a not so good neighbourhood at the edge of the city. Stiles must have gone inside. Now he was here and about to speak to Stiles again he suddenly became very nervous. He didn't know what to say, how to act or anything else that might help him in this situation. Not for the first time tonight his mind went blank.

Pausing in a nearby side street he took a moment to calm down before he confronted the younger boy. Derek crouched by the side of a large bin and let his anger wash over him. She shouldn't have this control over his life anymore but yet she did. He stood up quickly and spun on the spot, his arm thrusting out in front of him to create a large crater in the side of the bin.

He hated comparing Stiles to Kate but at times he just couldn't help it. Although they were nothing alike, the feelings they created in Derek were scarily similar.

There was the tightening of his chest whenever he saw either of them. The instinctive need to trust them, admittedly the need was much stronger with Stiles. The way they could get a reaction out of him that was both positive and negative at the same time. But most of all it was the way that they seemed to understand him more than anybody else that sent shivers down his spine.

The feelings were the same but that was where the similarities end. Stiles was kind, loving, loyal, brave, trusting, caring and protective but he was breakable. Kate was just a bitch. The older woman was manipulative, twisted, hurtful, bigoted, fierce, powerful and dangerous. Their man difference could be shown by how they reacted to Derek letting them close, letting them get to know him.

Stiles used the information he learned to help Scott, to help the pack, help the pack grow as a unit and to look after Derek.

Kate however used it as an opportunity to ruin him. She destroyed everything he had by manipulating the vulnerable, trusting teenage boy he was back then. She never cared for him, she only cared for herself and taking a step towards riding the world of werewolves for good. Kate had hurt Derek more than he ever thought one person could. He had been naive and thoughtless and weak. All the things he had been raised not to be.

The need to protect Stiles also played a large part in his decision to end this now. He couldn't give the younger boy what he wanted without putting him in harm's way. No matter how strong the need to protect himself was, it was equally matched by his need to protect Stiles. Stiles was part of his pact, he needed to protect him. Stiles was human which made him weak and vulnerable to most things that the pack faced. Stiles was, well he was just Stiles and that meant more to Derek than the rest combined.

Slowly he managed to drag himself out of his thoughts and back to reality as he felt someone nearing him. Looking up from his spot on the floor where he had slumped back to sometime in the last few minutes Derek found Stiles staring back at him curiously.

Even though they had seen each other not long ago Stiles surprise was clearly shown. The younger boy's eyes were wide and his mouth was opening and closing. They both stared at each other for about a minute before the sound of a car backfiring a few blocks down causing them both to jump. The sound seemed to snap Stiles out of whatever thoughts he was having. He continued to watch Derek unblinkingly for another moment before slowly starting to back away.

"No, no, no, no, no…" he chanted over and over, getting quieter the further he was from Derek. The chanting became so quiet that even Derek with his enhanced hearing struggled to hear. "You can't be here. You were supposed to leave, I was supposed to go home and we wouldn't see each other again anytime soon. You can't do this to me Derek. Not again, not tonight." He finished backing up once he was back on the main road and turned to walk away. It was Derek's broken shout that had him stopping where he was.

"Stiles, please." Derek sounded the most broken, the most human, that Stiles had ever heard. The older man wasn't known for being vulnerable, not since Kate and fucked him up so royally. It was that thought that had him heading back to the man who was still sitting on the floor against the bin.

Sighing Stiles slid down the bin to join Derek on the floor.

"You can't keep doing this Derek, it isn't fair." Stiles said in barley a whisper "I don't know what you want me to do. One minute you're pushing me away and the next you want me to stay. What do you want from me? Do you want to hurt me? Do you want to cause me pain? What do you want Derek?!" he finished his voice rising as he spoke. This caused Derek to become angry for reasons unknown.

"You think I want this Stiles? This isn't about what I want it's about what's best for me, for us." Derek said, his eyes flashing red with anger. "I don't want you to get hurt and I'm sorry that's what has happened, it wasn't my intention." Derek said gently as he started to calm down again. "I'm a mess Stiles. I'm broken. It's not fair for you to have to deal with that and you shouldn't have to. You deserve better Stiles." Derek finished turning to look at the short haired boy. Stiles was speechless. He blinked his large eyes at Derek as his mouth fell open.

"You have no right to make that choice for me Derek. No right. I can't even believe…" Stiles trailed off in disbelief. "How could…" he tried again before standing. He didn't say anything else. He simply continued looking shocked and shook his head sadly before walking away.

End Of Chapter