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Chapter 7: Please Don't Go

After being chewed out by Aunt May and not being able to explain why Gwen was so upset, I started walking. I walked from my house to hers, using the time to try and come up with something to say. I had to come up with something pretty good because just showing up and going, "Oh yeah, guess I'm not dead. See you around," wasn't going to do it.

It took me half an hour to finally come up with my little speech and run it through my head until I was sure I had every word down. My plan was to apologize, explain what happened, and then give a friendly not-crossing-the-line hug for comfort. And I knew she was going to be mad, so to save myself from the huge rant I would no doubt receive, I would start as soon as the door opened.

I finally arrived at Gwen's apartment building and for once took the elevator up the twenty stories to her floor. I stood in front of her door just staring at it. Was this really a good idea? I had to do this, I couldn't leave Gwen alone any longer with the idea that I was dead and gone. So I took a deep breath and drudged up all the confidence I could muster. Slowly I raised my fist to knock. I was just about to make contact with the door, when suddenly it was flung open.

There standing in front of me was a very haggard looking Gwen Stacy. We met eyes and both froze. I took in all of her and realized just how big of a mistake I had truly made. Her eyes looked like they were now permanently blood shot from what could only be because of tears. Right under her eyes were huge dark circles. Her usually immaculate hair was frizzy and carelessly tied in a bun. Everything from her hair to her clothes just screamed pain and sadness. She looked weak and vulnerable. And beautiful.

Looking down at the only girl I had ever truly loved, my entire practiced speech flew out of my head. Instead I said the most eloquent thing I have ever uttered to Gwen.

"Um…er…Hi?"


She couldn't believe her eyes. There he was standing in front of her…completely fine. He didn't even have the nasty bruise courtesy of Flash anymore. Peter was just the same old geeky, lanky kid he usually was. She looked him right in the eye and watched has his gaze swept her face. Blushing she couldn't believe she had been about to storm out looking like this. Her hair was going everywhere, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and her outfit was less than fantastic with a wrinkled old t-shirt and jeans.

"Um…er…Hi?" He said has he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. It pulled emphases to his messy hair that she always loved. She stared in awe at how normal he seemed, yet something was wrong with his eyes. There was something in them that she couldn't quiet place. She kept staring at his face trying to figure out what was wrong, and forgot to even answer him.

She finally figured out what it was that danced in his eyes. It was guilt, for what she could only guess.

The silence dragged on for several more moments, the two teenagers just standing there looking at each other. Somewhere along the line the silence became unbearably awkward, and they both looked away. Gwen was about to say something and looked up to see Peter about to talk at the same time. They both stopped and snapped their mouths shut. Gwen watched as Peter turned his head away and then turn back with a smile that always gave her goose bumps. It was a goofy kind of smile that reminded her of only a few short months ago, when he would smile at her like that and then lean in for a kiss.

"Um…do you mind…I mean c-could ah…can I come in," he stuttered out.


Gwen's eyes widened, she lifted a finger and looked like she was about to answer. Suddenly this look of horrible anger crossed her face and she slammed the door shut. The sound of the door echoed throughout the quiet hallway. I was slightly taken aback by her outburst of fear and anger. I scanned my eyes over the door hoping maybe if I looked hard enough I might suddenly develop a new super power.

X-Ray vision

I raised my hand to try and knock again, but was stopped by the sound of crying. My heart felt like it had just dropped into my stomach. This was all my fault. She shouldn't be crying over me now or ever. I should have made a better effort to stay away. I should have never gone to her house that night to explain myself. Gwen deserved more than I could ever give her. She deserved to be safe and happy. She deserved to be with a guy that would be there for her when she needed him. A guy that wouldn't be in constant danger that could potentially affect her.

I lowered myself into a crouching position right where I could hear Gwen crying on the floor. I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cool wood of her front door. I had made up my mind, I was going to stay out of Gwen Stacy's life…forever. She knew I was safe and could move on now. When I got back to school I would change out of all of the classes we had together. I would get a new locker in a new hallway. I would stay away from her whether that be in school or out of it. I would effectively remove myself from every part of her life.

"Gwen, listen to me, ok?" I started out in a soft voice that was almost a whisper. "I came here tonight so that you would have some closer. I'm fine, really I am. I'm sorry, so very sorry, for all the pain I have caused you now and when we broke up. I know I should have been there for you but I wasn't and even if your father hadn't made me promise, this still wouldn't have worked out. I'm not good for you Gwen, this little escapade just proves that. So I'm going to leave now, and I hope that someday you'll understand why it is I do the things I do. Its to protect you Gwen, you have to be safe...I need you to be safe. My job could get you into some serious trouble. Trouble that could kill you, and I'm willing to risk my life but never yours Gwen."

I sat there for a second, waiting for some kind of response. None came and I leaned away from the door to stand up. I turned my back and started down the hallway, when I heard the door open.


Gwen had shut the door on Peter and the slowly slid down the door to sit on the floor. She couldn't believe her own mind. This was some kind of terrible joke her own brain was playing on her. It had to be a dream it just had to be. The real Peter would have answered his phone or called her back as soon as he had seen the messages. When he didn't she knew something horribly wrong must have happened. That's why she knew this was a dream.

He had stood in front of her totally fine; nothing wrong with him at all. When he started talking she couldn't believe how really cruel her brain was. He was alive and well standing mere inches away from her. But he was rejecting every part of her. His words were a mess she didnt understand, but the true meaning of them was crystal clear. She just couldn't believe it.

"Well," she thought to herself. "If this is a dream I'm at least going to get one thing I want."

With that thought she stood up and opened the door. She looked first one way down the hall and didn't see him, then looked the other way. There he was walking away towards the elevators. Gwen started towards him and slowly picked up the pace till she was practically sprinting. She knew how these dreams usually went. She would get all the way to him, turn him around, and then wake up.

She yelled out his name and he turned around towards her just has she caught up to him. He looked down at her with a questioning look and was just about to say something when she stopped him.


There she was running down the hall after me. She stopped with just a few inches still left between us. I raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what she was doing when she closed the last couple of inches. She put both hands around my neck and pulled my head down. Then she did the one thing I had been wishing for, for five months.

"Please don't go."

Then she kissed me.


A/N: Hey guys sorry about not updating recently I've been super busy with a new job. I promise I havent forgotten about all of you and I'll update when I can. So like always I have to ask:

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