Title: Take Me, Leave Me

Pairing: Alice Cullen/Bella Swan

Canon or Alt. Universe: AU

Summary: Set during Eclipse. A lost Bella asks something awful of her best friend.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Alice and Bella not mine.

POV: Bella

IMPORTANT Notice: This story has been re-vamped after some helpful criticism. I think it still needs some work, but I feel it suffices for now. -- 12-19-09

This came to me after reading Geophf's chapter 'Take Me' of MSR (which is a story I highly recommend btw.)

Anyway there was this line of deeper meaning for a second in that chapter ((or so I thought, so sue me I pick up on sex))

exact lines of inspiration -- from MSR (My Sister Rosalie)

"Ah, yes," Rosalie said carefully. "So when you say 'take me' you were talking in the sense of earlier today ... that is to say, to drink your blood, yes?"

I looked at her quizzically. "What else would I mean?"

And this little one-shot occurred to me.

****

WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, the overdramatism that is Bella Swan, and sex... Did I mention sex?

MMM....

Really Just: M

My head spun. I sank to the floor, hitting my head against the open dresser drawer.

"Ouch." I hissed to the empty room.

My head was spinning. My life was over.

Edward wanted to take a break. A break? That would be like breaking a piece of my soul. Or losing my other half. A seven-week break... The wedding indefinitely postponed… And all because there was a place in my heart for Jacob, because a part of me loved him too. I winced. My stomach churned and I bit into my bottom to dispel the overwhelming wave of nausea, caused by panic.

My heart pounded as I gripped tightly at my left wrist, my own nails digging painfully into the flesh. I had to remain conscious. This could not be a repeat of my fateful eighteenth birthday.

Warm tears stung my eyes and slid down my cheeks. He promised me. He promised me he wouldn't do this again and now... I placed my sleeve in my mouth and let out the scream that had been building in my chest.

I sucked in a ragged breath, digging my nails into my wrist once more to feel my pulse, to know that I was still alive. I had to keep the hole from coming back. My head was reeling, but I focused on counting my heartbeat, like the rhythm of a song. One, two. One, two.

Almost imperceptibly, the curtains on my window fluttered.

"Edward?" I turned hopefully; instead I saw the silhouette of a slender, pixie form.

Alice stepped forward, illuminated by moonlight, and perhaps a grateful best friend would see her as a knight in shining armor. But I was not grateful. I was selfish. So I sat, and stared at her and waited for an explanation.

"Please don't cry." Her musical voice begged. Her eyes were black as the night around her, and she wasn't breathing. She took a few steps forward, cautiously, as if approaching a wounded animal. No, as if she was approaching wounded prey.

But I couldn't stop myself, my inward pain came rushing out and lashed out at the first thing it could find. Her.

"You knew." I accused, hardly recognizing my own harsh, bitter voice. "You knew." My teeth ground together, a default reaction. I barely felt the warm tears spilling over my cheeks. "That's why you avoided me all day at school today. You knew..." I hissed.

Alice's pained expression did little to stop my barrage of hurtful accusations.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you stop him?" I shouted, breaking down. "... You could've stopped him."

Suddenly, she was caressing my cheek, with obvious strain from the proximity.

"You know I love you." Alice's cool breath swept across my overheated cheek.

It was a split second decision. Her eyes were coal black, and I knew what my nails had done to my wrist. I lifted my arm to shove my oozing wrist in front of her nose and Alice's white hand flashed out, grabbing my arm, stopping my plan before it could take flight.

She gripped my arm so hard I thought it would bruise on the spot. I sucked in a breath and decided if she wouldn't let my actions speak for me, then my words would have to do.

"I can't live through this pain again. If you love me, then take me."

I watched Alice tremble, her whole frame shook. Her eyes fluttered closed for a brief second.

"No." Her voice was soft, but determined.

I tried in vain to pull my arm from her grasp. But Alice held firm, a warning glare directed balefully at me. But I would not shrink away, she would not scare away my determination.

"Take me." I demanded.

There was a pause, no longer than the blink of an eye, where Alice went completely rigid. She was like a granite statue. And then, Alice breathed in deeply and opened her mouth slowly, a soft moan escaping her lips.

"Take me." I begged again. "Alice..."

She shifted towards me quickly, and her strong, slender arms lifted me off the ground. She threw me to my bed. I gasped and watched the pure animalistic form of Alice take over. Her eyes their darkest tint; she looked... vicious. A low growl built in her chest and rumbled the bed as she descended upon me.

This was not the playful, sisterly Alice I loved. This was Alice The Vampire, and I was going to die right here in my bed.

"I'm going to take you." She said, a frightening smile on her lips as she ripped my cotton pajama pants from my body. Her cool hands slid up the inside of my thighs, and I shuddered in pleasure. The smell of arousal filled the room.

She tore away my undergarments and forcefully pushed two fingers inside of me. I moaned at the wonderful pleasure of the sensation, the release of the building pressure at my core. My hips bucked off the mattress as Alice pleasured me with reckless strength. Pleasure-filled waves rippled through me, once, twice, three times over before my muscles shuddered and relaxed, color bursting behind my eyes.

Her chilled fingers pulled out. She pushed my hair from my neck and I tilted my head to the side for easier access to my now racing blood. My heart hammered in my chest, as Alice sniffed my neck. Her cold breath chilled my skin, causing a ripple of goose bumps.

"Take me." I begged.

Alice growled, "I have." She climbed off me then, in one fluid movement, her eyes still black and fierce. "But I won't end your life."

I lay half-exposed to the night air. Alice stood by the window, taking in deep breaths of what I imagined was the freshest air she could get at the moment.

It was cold. Curling into a ball on top of my covers, I hugged my knees to my chest.

Alice's voice came out rough and steady. "Cover up."

I glanced at her, those eyes still frighteningly dark. She was rigid.

Stumbling to my dresser, I pulled out new underwear and pajama pants and pulled them on.

Alice's eyes followed me the whole time, watching carefully, as if she was waiting for me to explode. She swiftly yanked back the covers and tucked me in. I shrunk down into the warmth of my comforter. She glanced to the window and then to me.

"Scooch over." She said quietly.

I complied and felt her cold form lay down beside me. We were lying back to back.

"Bella..." Alice didn't move, but her voice was soft and tender.

With no regard for my life being at stake, I turned and wrapped my arms around Alice. Every muscle in her body tensed, but she didn't move or push me away.

"Thank you." I murmured, clinging to her cold body. It was my anchor.

"Try to sleep now."

I listened, shutting my eyes and praying for sleep to come quickly.

I felt Alice take my hand in hers and grip it tightly.

That night, it was her touch that kept me from going under.

***