Oh Merlin. I am sorry for updating 3 weeks after I said I would, but school has left me no choice. Anyway, today is an update for this story and a surprise update for "Curiosity Killed His Innocence: Purrs of Desire" if you decided to check that story out as well. Might I ask politely that you read it?
AtChristmasdinner,makeanannouncementsayingFredispregnant… andGeorgeisthefather.(PartII:Execution)
"GEORGE! Where is my maternity cloak? I can't leave the school without my maternity cloak!" Fred's cries filled the entire Gryffindor house. It was finally the day that every student around the world waits patiently for; it was time to board the train and go home for the winter holidays.
Fred came down the stairs wearing his maternity cloak. It was bright blue with red flowers highlighting the suspiciously lumpy bump that rested on his stomach. George had asked Hermione very politely while she was knitting hats for S.P.U.N.K or whatever, and after hitting him repeatedly on the head with her needles she agreed to make him a pregnant belly.
George came down after him, holding all the bags. He was wearing a mustache that Hermione made him out of Crookshanks' fur. It was big, red, and itchy. Very itchy.
"Alright, Fred?" he asked as he set the bags down.
"Don't even talk to me! I saw you looking at that other twin in Zonko's! Stop denying it! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?" Fred bellowed. George snorted, but he easily turned it into a cough. Fred had read that pregnant women have mood swings and fierce tempers and they often lash out at people near them.
Everyone in the common room turned their head to look at the strange twins. Though Fred had only been "pregnant" for a month, he had the belly of a woman who was nine months pregnant with twins. At first, the teachers and students didn't care about his "condition". Odd as it was, the twins had done much stranger in the past.
However, as the month went on and Fred's stomach quadrupled in size, rumors began to spread. They started out innocent; Fred was taking a new medicine that made him gain weight, Fred found out that he really, really liked Dobby's treacle tart recipe, stuff like that. Then, they became more like "Fred is actually a girl and he (she) has been secretly in love with George his (her) entire life". McGonagall had actually threatened to write to Mrs. Weasley if the twins didn't explain "the abnormal lump that has settled onto Mr. Weasley's stomach".
This was going to be an interesting winter break.
At the train station…
"Ronnie! My, look how you've grown!"
"Harry, my boy! Good to see you!"
"Hermione, you're looking lovely. Is that a new hat?"
"Ginny, dear, give me a kiss!"
"George! Fred! George? FRED?" Mrs. Weasley did a double take at the twins. So McGonagall hadn't been lying when she said "an idiosyncratic bump" had made its way onto Fred's stomach and he refused to explain it. Maybe they're just doing it for attention, she thought. Please, please be doing it for attention.
Christmas Dinner…
Fred's belly remained an untouched subject in the Burrow. Somehow, it had been overshadowed by Mrs. Weasley's amazing cooking and the feeling of togetherness. She was beginning to think it might be a normal Christmas dinner after all…
"Excuse me, family, I have an announcement to make." Too late.
"It may seem strange to you, but I am not always an angel. At school, some people might consider me to be 'a malicious devil' or 'that bloody twin who breaks stuff'. I only wish Percy could be here to hear the wonderful news I am going to bestow upon you now. It might just be the best thing you will ever listen to. Your socks might disappear. This news, my news, our news…" Fred started, but he was interrupted by Ron.
"Oh just get on with it, would you?" he said.
"Fine then. George and I would like to tell the entire family, sans Percy, that…" he said, but he was interrupted yet again by Mrs. Weasley. She was eager to delay whatever Fred had to say.
"Fred, dear, you seem to be taking an awful long time. Why don't we let Fleur go first?" she asked nervously. Molly Weasley was not a good liar.
"Of course, Mum, Fleur can go first if she wishes," he said. He might have winked at her, but she could not be sure.
"Merci, Mother. Merci, Fred. I would just like to say zat zis family means everything to me," she started. "And I 'ope zis announcement makes you very, very 'appy."
"Let me guess, are you pregnant?" asked Ron sarcastically. Fleur burst into tears and every female in the room turned and glared at him.
"You couldn't wait two seconds for her to tell us herself?" asked Ginny.
"How could you know she was going to tell us she was pregnant? You never, ever, assume a woman is pregnant if you ever want to have kids yourself, if you know what I mean." Molly advised.
"Sorry," Ron offered. Fleur huffed, but gave him a slight smile.
"On that note, may I share my news?" asked Fred.
"Why don't we let Tonks go? She looks like she will explode if she doesn't share!" exclaimed Molly. Fred shrugged.
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I guess my news won't be as exciting as Fleur and Bill's, but…" she started.
"Don't tell me you're pregnant, too!" asked Ron mockingly. He ducked as slices of ham and other various foods were launched at his head.
"Don't you ever learn, Ron?" asked his mother. Ron shook his head.
"Please, Mum, may I?" begged Fred. Molly sighed. "YES! Ok, as I was saying, George and I have made a miracle," he said.
"At least YOU can't get pregnant, right? I'm right, right?" asked Ron, looking genuinely worried. Fred shot him the dirtiest look he could muster up. If looks could kill, Ron would be six feet under the ground right now.
"Fred, George, are you trying to tell us you got someone pregnant?" asked Arthur.
"Don't you get it? I'm pregnant!" Fred exclaimed.
Suddenly, the front door burst open.
"Hello, mother and father," said Percy Weasley. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing much," said George.
"Fleur, Tonks, and Fred are pregnant," said Ginny at the same time.
"Well, congratulations, Fleur. Congratulations, Tonks. Congratulations, Fred- wait, what? Ginny, what did you say?" he asked, sounding rightfully confused. Fred and George sat there smiling at him, waiting for him to figure out what was happening. They could see the realization in his eyes as he understood. He finally got why he kept hearing strange stories at the Ministry about two pranksters at Hogwarts who spoke vulgarly to Professor Snape and carried around a box of singing gnomes. He finally got why Fred had a lumpy belly and strange, luminescent skin.
"I hope you don't mind me asking this," Harry started. "But who is the father?"
"George, of course. Unless you would like to take a paternity test," Fred suggestively raised his eyebrows.
"Fred! Two males cannot have a child. We've been over this!" Percy said.
"Percy! You are a twat. We've been over this!" he replied.
"Watch your language," threatened Molly.
"Sorry Mum, but he is threatening my baby!" said Fred.
"If you don't take that thing out right now and hand it over to me, I am confiscating your wands for the rest of the break," she said.
Grudgingly, Fred took Hermione's sack of cloth out from under his shirt and gave it to his mother. He and George excused themselves from the table to mourn the loss of their child.
Ginny whispered in Percy's ear.
"Honestly, sometimes I'm surprised they're even related to you. Can you imagine yourself coming up with something like that?" she asked. He mumbled something that sounded like "I don't need to imagine".
"So, Mr. Weasley, how are things at the Ministry?" asked Harry.
"Oh, the usual. Exploding toilets, possessed phone lines, you know," he answered. The conversation went on like that for the rest of dinner. When Fred and George came back, everyone held in their giggles and continued their normal talk. Later that night, Percy was pacing in his bedroom. He was debating whether or not he should confront the twins. If he did, he would be held responsible for everything they did from that list. He just decided he would let them do what they wanted for once.
"What's the worst that could happen?"
Entertaining? Strange? Vomit-inducing? I'm guessing a combination of all three. I have been swamped with schoolwork, but I update because I love you guys. I was originally going to stop at the part where Percy comes in, but I had time to waste and so I wrote the rest.
You guys are going to think I am so weird for this, but I posted a picture of George's mustache on my profile. Just imagine him wearing that all throughout this entire chapter while you review.
Lily
