Twelve weeks. That meant eighty-four days. Eight-four days, eighteen hours and forty-two minutes.
And counting.
More if you included the fact that Colonel O'Neill was lost at approximately sixteen-hundred hours on Day Zero. She was really feeling it now, the caffeine and chocolate she had bribed her body with, the enforced work breaks that Janet stipulated and Daniel ensured were carried out. At times it felt the archeologist had turned traitor, siding with Janet to ensure she got the rest the petite doctor thought she needed.
Sam rubbed tired eyes with a weary hand and drained a glass of water in one breath. She tipped the water jug, splashing a little over her face and wrists. The cold water woke her up a little, but she was going to have to call it a night soon. The particle accelerator was complete, they'd even trialled it and it worked. The damn thing, after eleven weeks and four days had actually worked.
But the flow rate wasn't right, and it wouldn't do anything if they aimed it at the event horizon in it's current state. She lay on her back, wriggled herself under the machine and hooked up the wires that led to her laptop. Nearly there now. If she could adjust the software, it wasn't a hardware problem, she just needed to strip out the current program-
They'd stripped off their clothes somewhere between the bedroom door and the bed. Daniel still slept in the next room, but it didn't seem as important as it had been a moment ago. In fact, she couldn't figure out why she had ever thought this was a bad idea. Maybe it was being a civilian now, maybe too much of her military training had been holding her back. Maybe she just figured he wasn't interested, maybe...
But thinking wasn't important either, and Sam lost the thread as Jack's hands skimmed across her skin. Tags slid across her throat, hanging from the chain around his neck. She could feel her own, pushed behind her head. They hadn't taken them off. Old habits. And then she forgot to think again when his fingers reached their goal. He bent his head, covering her mouth with his and the whole world, military and civilian, disappeared...
A ghost of a smile touched her lips, as the memory rose in her mind. She scrambled out from under the accelerator, jogging round the desk to her computer, her steps lighter, as if the remembrance had brought a burst of energy with it. Absently she pressed one hand to her back, lying on the floor ached more than it used to. But then, it would, wouldn't it? She poured herself a fresh glass of water, tapped in a couple of instructions and waited for the processor in the accelerator to update.
The laptop beeped, informing her it was finished. Sam glanced at her watch, twenty-three hundred hours. Oh-seven-hundred tomorrow, Lee and Edwards would be back in, and they'd run a fresh set of trials. Across the lab was the tray Daniel had dropped off earlier, half a sandwich and an apple sat there, staring at her silently. She guessed she should eat, but she needed a shower. At the thought of a shower, she wanted to sleep. The temptation to lay her head down on her arms and simply give in to the impulse, was almost irresistible, but she shoved it aside, pushing herself up and heading for the plate.
Janet would only put her on another twenty-four hours downtime if she didn't.
Fifteen minutes later, Carter stepped under the spray in the silent locker room, the hot water washing away the grime in her hair and the dirt from her skin. Leaning her head against the cold tiles, she closed her eyes, letting the water ease her aching muscles. She moved on hand down, over the slight rise of her abdomen. Alone, she took the chance that no-one would hear her, whispering words that couldn't be heard to the half-formed life that lay under her hand.
'It won't be much longer now. I'm sorry, little one, it's been a hard few months, hasn't it? But I couldn't break my promise to bring him home, could I? We'll do what Janet says after this, I'll take some leave, crash out, give you everything you need. Just hold on for a little while longer...'
The words faded and the memories took over. She hadn't expected this to happen, she'd suspected, before Janet even came into her lab with the results from her blood tests. He wasn't dead, she had convinced herself of that, if nothing else. She turned around under the hot spray, her mind wandering over the times they'd been in situations like this before. One time when she would have killed for a hot shower, when they were stuck in the Antartica, hidden deep under the ice and she'd had to watch him die, slowly, bit by bit, beating her head against a DHD that wouldn't work and cursing her own incompetence.
It had been hard, watching someone slip away, knowing you were the only one who could save them and being unable to do so. It had been like these past couple of months - beating her head against the only device that could bring him back and send the Edorans home. But now, like then, it was over.
She could only hope he would be there, waiting on the other side. That he hadn't lost hope; she knew that she almost had, she had come perilously close at times but she had kept going, and that hope had paid off. She had a working particle accelerator three levels below where she stood now, waiting to drill a hole behind the Edoran Stargate and let their rescue teams through. It was a miracle they had done it, let alone the record time they had set. She'd have to apologise to her team when this was over; she gave a tired smile, she'd been hell to work for.
Weariness was creeping over her again, the adrenaline burst from earlier failing. Pushing herself away from the wall, she quickly washed her hair, arms aching even though she held them over her head for only a few minutes. She didn't like to admit it, but Janet was right, she was skirting the edge of exhaustion.
Ten minutes later, hair still damp, she crawled into her bunk and curled up on her side, closing her eyes and forcing ideas to stop whirling around her head.
'I know, I think too much.'
She had this time too, put her head into overdrive in fact, but she had done what he'd taught her as well. She had quit weighing the odds and gone with hope instead. She could only wait to see that didn't let her down.
