a/n: ok, so before i turn you loose to read this chapter, let me just warn you, it's not incredibly wonderful. in fact i rather dislike it. however, i figure that instead of taking another month to rewrite it, you'd prefer that i post this. i don't know how much more of this story there is, but, i'll write it as long as i have ideas. oh, and addexluv, the title's for you.
-insert disclaimer of your choice here-
Sometimes there are times when Addison questions whether or not there is a god of some sort. As a doctor, she tends not to believe in anything that can't be proven by cold, hard facts. It's especially hard to believe in a god of any sort when she's worked to save a mother and child and failed. What kind of god steals life from children? But sometimes, like after she's brought a child into the world, something that happens far more often than her failing, or when she's found that perfect black dress in her size, sometimes it is easy to believe. Now is one of those times.
She's a little unsure of herself. It's been over a decade since she's been with anyone besides Derek or Mark. Except the time that she and Alex had sex in Seattle. But she doesn't count that, because that was screwed up and this is not. This has fresh start written all over it, which is important to her. After all, that's why she's in L.A. in the first place.
Either way, she's still unsure. She has no clue what to do with herself. She looks over at Alex, to find him staring at her. "Are you staring at me?"
"You're cute confused."
"So you are?" she asks. He shrugs. "You are!" He shrugs again. "Are you going to say anything?"
"Sure."
"You look…" she trails off, searching for the right word. "like you're thinking about something important."
"I am."
She frowns. She doesn't want to pry, but she's curious. "Don't frown," he tells her. "You'll get wrinkles." He reaches over and smoothes the creases on her forehead. "Come here," he orders, pulling her even closer. She twines her legs through his.
"You're not going to tell me what, are you?" she asks.
"I will, but you don't want to know."
"Yeah, I do."
"You really don't."
She feels a flash of anger. Who is he to tell her what she wants? "Yes, I really do," she says firmly.
"Fine," he replies, resigned. "I was thinking about how I'm leaving next week."
Suddenly she wishes she'd never asked. "Oh."
"I told you that you didn't want to know."
"That you did." She tries to smile, but it's too hard, now that the idea of him leaving has invaded her mind. She hadn't thought about it before. "You were right."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," she says, untangling herself. "I should have remembered." She gets up and starts searching for her clothes. "I should have remembered that you had to leave," she continues as she buttons her blouse.
"Addison," Alex starts, getting up as well.
"No, it's okay," she cuts him off. "I'm really sorry, but I- I should probably go. I-I'm really sorry."
"Addison," he says more forcefully.
"Alex, I'm really sorry, but I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have-"
"Addison, don't even think about saying what you're going to say."
"I- I need to go."
"Don't leave," he pleads. He pulls her into his arms and for a moment she thinks about it.
Tears sting her eyes as she says, "I- I have to. Goodbye, Alex."
0ooo0
"I forgot he's leaving," she tells Naomi and Violet.
"So?" Naomi asks. "So I don't want a weeklong fling!"
"It doesn't have to be," Naomi points out.
"Oh yeah, because long distance works out ever so well!"
"Addison, the guy's so crazy about you he'd move down here if you asked him," Violet points out.
"I don't want to do that."
"Then move back Seattle!"
"Do you want me gone?" Addison asks.
"No. L.A.'s done wonders for you, but maybe it's done all it can. Maybe it's time to let Alex do wonders for you. It's completely obvious that you're incredibly in love with him. Don't let something like location mess it up," Violet lectures.
"Violet doesn't even know you all that well, and she sees that. Believe me, Adds," Naomi adds. "It's so obvious. And he'd do just about anything for you."
"I don't know…"
"Addison, if you don't do this, I will never speak to you again," Naomi says.
"Same," Violet agrees.
"Okay. You're right," Addison concedes.
"Go get your man," Naomi laughs.
0ooo0
For the second time that day, Addison stands outside Alex's hotel room. For the second time that day he answers. For the second time she kisses him in the hallway. For the first time, he pulls back. "Now who's playing games with who?" he asks cruelly.
Addison winces and looks down. "I'm sorry. I freaked out. The thing is, I don't want a fling. I can't handle a fling."
"I don't want a fling either. A fling is the furthest thing from my mind when I think about you."
"What is on your mind when you think of me? Just out of curiosity."
"Don't freak out, because I'm gonna answer truthfully."
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Marriage. Kids. I'm not saying now or anything, but sometime." Addison feels a dorky grin spread across her face.
"Good. Because that's what I think about to. Later of course."
Alex grins back at her. "Do you want to come in?" She nods. "Sure?" he asks, giving her one last out. Suddenly she gets the feeling she answering a much bigger question.
"Absolutely."
reviews for the stressed?
-Juli
