The one I love
Chapter 7
The fallout
I had been up all night wondering where he was. The tension was killing me and I walked around aimlessly. I went into Ryu's room and watched him sleeping. I gently stroked his auburn hair before roaming to the kitchen for a snack. I always had trouble sleeping when Syaoran was not home. Tonight was worse than any wait. I almost wanted to cry.
I went into our bedroom. The bed was still made, I could not even find the strength to get it without him. It felt like I would be violating some code.
Finally, before I could breakdown completely. I heard the front door click open. I had been waiting for it. I didn't know if I should be happy or angry. I hated myself for being less independent.; for always wanting to know where he was.
I decided to jump quickly to bed and pretend I was reading a book.
He walked in and I looked up.
"You are late."
He smiled "A wizard is never let nor early, he arrives precisely when he need to."
I rolled my eyes. Closed the book I was pretending to read and lay my head on the pillow.
"Were you waiting for me?" He asked.
I kept my eyes fixed on him. He was trying to undress.
"Yes. I was waiting." I confessed without showing what agony the wait was.
As he stumbled to unbutton his shirt, I knew he was drunk. I felt a ball of anger growing in the pit of my stomach.
"You were out drinking?" I asked in a controlled tone.
"The boss asked me after work." he said casually "I couldn't refuse."
"Ryu missed you." I said trying to inflict guilt on him.
"Ill go check up on him in the morning. Im drunk. In case you didn't notice."
I breathed heavily. I wanted to tell him but this was not the time. "I noticed alright." I said.
"Wow wow wow Babe.I sense some hostility up in here."
"Its 1 am, your phone has been off all day. You could not bother to tell me you wont be home for dinner or you were out with your boss getting drunk."
His eyes moved to the wooden floor. He looked serious for a moment. To much of my dismay, he looked at me and said "I don't want to fight tonight."
I sat up holding back tears "I don't want to fight either but an apology would be nice."
He turned off the lights and went to his side of the bed.
"My phone died. I'm probably going to get a promotion now. Im sorry for not informing you but in due time you will understand this meeting is important for our family. We can be as rich as my father was by the time we are in our thirties."
"I don't care about being rich." I muttered "I like our home life."
He sighed "That's because you did not grow up like I did." He sat up "I want Ryu to travel the world and get the best of everything. I want you to not have to stress about fuel or the mortgage." He said.
I was quiet.
"It won't happen again." He said in a softer tone. "Ill be sure to tell you."
I kept quiet.
"I know I'm drunk but you can at least pardon me for that. When the boss invites you for drinks, you go for drinks."
I closed my eyes.
"Ah. The silent treatment." He lay back. "Thats okay Kura."
I cried silently that night. I did not sleep and from his movements, I could tell he was awake too.
In the morning as I got out of bed I heard him mumble "Im so sorry. I was an asshole last night."
I was still, trying to not look at him. He moved next to me and kissed my my back "You were right. I know. At the time I was so excited that the boss wanted to have a drink with me I got carried away."
I was silent.
He wrapped his hands around my waist and rested his cheek on my back.
"Say something."
I thought for a moment "I was waiting for you." I said.
He released me then moved next to me. We looked into each others eyes and smiled.
"You must have missed me so much." He had this boyish grin on his face. His hair was disheveled. He hardly looked 27. Ryu resembled him in many ways despite the fact that he had my emerald eyes and my auburn hair. He had his fathers demeanor.
"Don't flatter yourself." I teased him.
He kissed be quickly.
"I think Ryu is awake." He said stretching out his arms. He was wearing his dark blue boxers and a white cotton vest.
I got up and walked behind him wearing an over sized t-shirt. We both caught Ryu playing video games. He did not even notice us.
"Ryu. What did I say about video games."
He shrugged without looking up "You said I can only play them on weekends."
Syaoran settled next to him."Can you make an exception mom?" Syaoran grinned at me.
Then Ryu gave me puppy dog eyes.
"This is the last time." I said walking to the kitchen defeated.
Syaoran started to play the video game with Ryu. The were laughing and shouting at the T.v together. I would raise my head up and smile. And then I remembered. How could I even forget?
I brought them a plate of bacon, eggs and toast and placed them on the coffee table. They stopped playing and eagerly ate.
"You're the best mom." Ryu said eating the bacon.
"Syaoran. I need to talk to you." I said holding his hand.
"Like, really need to talk." I could feel myself blushing and my heart beating. Syaoran stood up "Sure." He seemed nervous.
We ambled to the kitchen.
"Hey, I wanna know whats going on." Ryu said as we were walking away.
"It's grown up talk. You can listen when you are 18." Syaoran told him.
Ryu sighed then got back to the game.
I leaned against the counter feeling anxious.
"Well, what is it?" he said looking at me seriously.
"Okay. My manga is getting published next month, XY." I said happily.
Syaoran hugged me so tightly elated "Are you serious!"
I smiled "and it only took 10 years later and 2 kids."
"2 kids."
I nodded "Yes. That the other news."
He hugged me again even tighter with tears almost in his eyes. "Sakura, that amazing. We are having another child."
Ryu walked into the kitchen, drawn to the commotion.
"Whats going on?" he asked.
"Come here." I said to him calling him to join the hug.
Syaoran carried him off the floor. He was not as light as he used to be. We both hugged him.
"Whats going on?" He asked laughing at us.
We spent the entire day as a family. We took Ryu out to skateboard in the park while we sat at a nearby bench.
"We are going to need a bigger house." Syaoran said.
I nodded. "Do think it will be another boy."
"It does not matter really but I think its a girl."
I kissed his mouth "I think its a girl too."
We kissed some more when Ryu approached us with his skateboard "Can you not kiss here. You're embarrassing me." Ryu said before skating away to join his friends.
Syaoran and I shook our heads "What happened to our sweet little boy." I said.
"I can't believe he is complaining about us kissing. Kissing is how his creation started."
Things were good the first few days. Syaoran was home early, we went to the hospital for an appointment and talked about when we would tell everyone else. We felt more prepared than we did with Ryu.
A week later, he was late again. In fact, he only came home at 9:00 after I had cooked dinner and tucked Ryu in.
"Dad is hardly home anymore. I only see him in the morning." Ryu said. "Why is that?"
I looked at him from across my shoulder "He is busy working." I said simply "It's just temporally."
"Do you want me to read you a story."
He raised his shoulders "Ill read it myself."
My heart sank at the rejection.
"Are you sure? I know your Dad always read Harry Potter books to you and you liked that."
Ryu sighed "You can read Harry Potter to me tomorrow. I told my friend Jamie that you still read to me and he said Im a baby. Cause Im almost 8."
I kissed his forehead "Don't listen to him. Ill keep reading to you till you tell me you don't like it."
When Syaoran came in that night. He did the usual and snuck into bed. I could tell he was tired.
"Are you awake?" he asked.
"Yeah. I'm awake."
He exhaled noisly "I'm so tired Kura. You don't even know." He shifted closer to me and hugged me.
"Why is your boss overworking you?"
"Because he sees alot of potential in me. We can get the new house before the baby is born."
I turned around and we looked into each others eyes "I can never sleep until you are lying next to me." I said.
We kissed.
"We have not made love in 4 days. That's not normal for us." He said.
"You are the one who is always tired."
He slid his hands under the covers and squeezed my bare bum and I giggled like a school girl.
Within the next few months, Syaoran and I started arguing more. I got frustrated because I had to go promote my managa at conferences and tv interviews but could not find a sitter for Ryu. My father was teaching at the hospital and Tomoyo was always in her work shop where she did not want children touching her clothing designs. On most occasions Ryu accompanied me and we were a team. He would wait while I was interviewed, dress in cosplay at anime conventions and help me set up my stand. It felt like Syaoran was missing out on an important part of my life when we had been a team all along. To make matters worse, the more pregnant I became, the harder it was to keep traveling promoting the manga.
After 6 months I was able to rest...well, my publishers were demanding volume 5 of the manga.
I was in my art room that day when Syaoran came in early this time. I raised my eyes surprised "You are early."
"Yea." He said folding his arms over his chest.
I was not sure what to say. I had kept the hurt of him not being around bottled inside. I knew he was doing all of this for us but I wanted him to be with us more.
"How are you?" He asked me walking in. He knelt to the floor and without saying anything he kissed my tummy.
I looked at him surprised and he looked back at me.
There was an awkward tension. His actions could not translate as well as intended.
"You are gone all the time." I finally spoke.
"I'm sorry."
I looked at him seriously "And you are always sorry."
"What do you want me to do? Quit my job."
I swallowed hard "I want you to do whats best for this family. Whats the point of you making all that money when you are never with the family you are making it for."
He was quiet.
"When I was pregnant with Ryu we were a team. You saw me through everything."
"That is cause I was unemployed and living on my parents money."
I shook my head "Don't say that. I actually make more money than you do now."
"Are you implying that bothers me." He said looking surprised and furious.
"No. Im saying you don't have to work so hard. We have everything we need." I said. "I just want you by 5. I want us to have dinner together and watch late night tv together."
He nodded. "Ill take on another job."
"Can't you just ask them to let you leave early."
He raised his shoulders.
"I know I sound like a whinny house wife." I told him.
"I understand what you are saying. Ive missed you."
I nodded "Okay. Good." I thought we would fight but he understood me.
That evening when Syaoran offered to read Ryu a bedtime story, he refused as he wanted to read by himself. This shocked Syaoran. He came into bed worrying that he was a bad parent. "When did Ryu start reading books by himself" Syaoran asked. He was worried he had been a bad father. He felt guilty for everything to the point where he quit his job and tried to look for another job at a smaller firm.
