Disclaimer: Nada
AN: Sorry this took a few days but I've been busy with summer stuff and all. So yeah, this one I was inspired by some other fics dealing with one almost losing the other. Reviews would be awesome. Enjoy.
Post 5x08 After Hours
She couldn't bring herself to let him go, to bring her fingers even an inch from his body. From the moment their bodies collided to when he let them into his apartment. The whole ride back to the precinct then to his loft she was fighting the tears that threatened to release. What would she have done if they had killed him? The moment that it became a possibility their fights seemed to be nothing. She prayed they'd be able to fight again, because then at least he would be alive.
Since they started this relationship Kate hadn't really put that much thought into how much he means to her. Of course he means a lot but she hadn't realized how much she depended on him until tonight. She got a taste of her life without him those days back in May but she had also been dealing with her mother's case. He hadn't said 'I love you' since they began this but he didn't need to. She knew, she could see it in his eyes when he smiled at her or when they woke up next to each other. It was there. Maybe even in her. Could he see it in her eyes too?
"Kate?" Castle yanked her out of her thoughts.
"Sorry, what was that?" She pushed her hair behind her ear and walked towards him in the kitchen.
"I said, do you want to eat the dessert now since we didn't get a chance to eat it earlier?" He was pulling them out of the fridge already, looking at her.
"Yeah sure, I'd love to." They both took a seat at the counter and began eating the delicious dessert Martha had prepared. Jim and Martha had left the precinct shortly after they had arrived. After a little paper work they left for home, exhausted from a very long, tiring night.
After cleaning up from their dessert they wandered into the bathroom preparing for bed. Castle repeatedly caught Kate staring at him seeming to just be thinking. After multiple times in the bathroom he finally questioned it.
"Beckett I promise I won't disappear." He continued to rinse his toothbrush and put it back in its designated cup before finally turning to her.
"I'm sorry. I guess tonight really did get to me." She looked down at the white ceramic counter top. "Castle, before tonight I didn't really realize how important you are to me. Not that I didn't think you were important it's just I didn't realize how important you are. Now that I have the chance to think about it, God, does it hurt to imagine you being gone in the blink of an eye. It physically hurts to think about that. Castle I cannot lose you." She finally met his gaze with tear filled eyes. She felt bare and vulnerable just having confessed all of that but trusted Castle to comfort her.
"Kate, I promise you. I'm not going anywhere. As long as you'll have me I'm sticking around." Castle reached up and cupped her cheek softly, wiping away a tear. "Kate, you are just as important to me. Trust me when I say it kills me to think about the danger you're in every single day. You mean so much to me and I don't know what I would do if I lost you. But I'm promising you now that I will do all that's in my power to stay here with you." He brings his other hand up to her face and pulls her in to meet her lips. It's soft and subtle as they explore each other's mouths and she wraps her arms around his neck.
"Castle, I know I can be stubborn and hard-nosed and," at that he cut her off.
"Kate, I know you, you don't have to explain yourself. Tonight's dinner was… Rough to say the least but look at them now. They just needed something in common. Yeah they're from different worlds but that's okay. Maybe we're creating a world of our own. All I know is that… I love you… So much that it hurts. I know you already know that though. We just need to believe in ourselves."
"Castle,"
"You don't need to say it back, I promise. I don't need to hear it until you know you're ready. I know it doesn't mean you don't care. I know how much I mean to you. So, on that note, bed?" He smiled and she reflected that smile. Her heart felt warm. She could not be happier with where their relationship is. She dares to look into the future with him. Moving in, marriage, a house… Children. That scared her most of all. She had never given much thought to marriage let alone children. Would she even be able t be a good mother with how screwed up she is? Thinking about Castle holding a newborn melts her though. He'd be an amazing father, he already is. With that thought she kisses her boyfriend and follows him into his big bed. He snuggles up behind her in bed and she lets her body mold to his like a missing puzzle piece. She sighs in contentment. She could get used to this. Being here with him. Becoming apart of his life. He whispers 'Goodnight' and she returns it and gives him a final kiss before they both let sleep overcome them.
AN: Sorry this one was sort of short. Let me know what you think. I'd love suggestions of episodes you guys want to see. I had a hectic couple of days but I think I'll be able to post the next chapter tomorrow.
L.A.M.
