A.N.: You have no idea how much I've struggled with this chapter. In the end I gave up. I don't like it, I think it's too long, but there you go. Feel free to suggest ways to shorten it or make it better.


Chapter Seven


At the beginning of a match, I always took a moment to observe the player guarding me, their level of awareness, the direction of their attention. It could take seconds or minutes, depending on the person and how familiar I was with them; but soon enough, I was able to create the gaps that would allow me to slip away, see the holes like they were mapped out in front of me. I wasn't the only person who could do this - taking advantage of a distracted defender was a skill every player had to some degree, and every defender got distracted at some point.

But not Takao. I couldn't shake him off. Minutes passed and he had no gaps.

I already knew his spatial awareness was advanced from watching him play before, but this was impossible. He was completely immune to misdirection. He stuck to my heels like a shadow - no, the irony wasn't lost on me.

"You look so serious, Tetsuko-chan," he remarked when there was a lull in the game, low enough that no one else heard.

I froze, my eyes searching his face. Did he just-

"I won't rat you out," he quickly added. "I just thought it would be dishonest to hide that I know. Midorima told me."

His knowledge of my true name and gender wasn't comforting exactly, but for some reason, I trusted him. "Thank you," I replied, relaxing.

He grinned easily. "Ah, but I won't go easy on you either or anything like that. It's weird, but… I'm pumped up about facing you." He ducked his head and looked at me from under his bangs. "We're the same breed of player, I guess. Both of us are freshmen," he paused, chuckling, "or freshwomen, and passing is our style… I feel some kinda, hatred for the same kind – or something like that."

"No one's told me that before. But I understand where you're coming from." Not really hatred, but a strange mixture of admiration, jealousy and dislike. I wanted to beat him, but it was different from my desire to defeat the Miracles. This was a new feeling that I'd never felt towards anyone else before. Rivalry. Takao was my rival.

I watched his eyes follow the ball as it passed by on our left, but when I moved to his blind spot, he followed me effortlessly.

Midorima, defying my wildest expectations, had augmented his shooting range to include the entire court. That was ridiculous. Kagami couldn't beat him alone – he needed me, I had to figure out how to get away from Takao. Even if he had extraordinary spatial memory and an uncanny sense of distance and dimension, he was still human. There had to be a way.

So concentrated was I on my task that it was only during the third quarter, when Riko benched me and I was able to see the game from outside, that I realized that something else was very wrong. My inability to circulate passes wasn't just putting my team "in a tight spot." There was a much deeper and more serious consequence. It was an uneasy feeling that I couldn't put a name to at first, but it grew and grew the more I watched Kagami.

At first I thought it was his usual tunnel vision, a problem which caused him to get too hung up on the score, but which could be solved with a well-timed jab to the ribs. But something was different this time. Like the captain, Kagami was usually vocal on the court, challenging or cursing or celebrating. Today he was unnaturally quiet. His expression was a mixture of feral and anticipatory, darker than I'd ever seen it, and more than anything else his utter silence alarmed me.

I bit my lip as Midorima received the ball and got into shooting position. If the point gap widened too much before I could sub back in, there would be no taking this game back-

Kagami jumped.

Now, I knew he was a physical monster; his jumps had always been impressive. It was a talent Riko had spotted, and the reason she'd sent him to get coached by a professional. But…since when could he get this high? He seemed to be suspended in mid-air. His fingers grazed the ball - I held my breath as Midorima's three-pointer fell, fell, fell and...

Missed.

The surprise made the spectators and some of the bench stand up. The next time Midorima got the ball, Kagami jumped again. He swung down and blocked the shot, smashing the ball against the ground.

A shiver ran down my spine. I could recognize this power. It was the kind of feat that no regular player, no matter how gifted, could hope to match. An intrinsic, unique power that I'd only ever sensed in five other people. It had been dormant in Kagami until now, slowly rising, slowly growing, until today - today it leaked out of his every pore like it wanted to burst out of his skin.

A Shutoku player saved the ball and went to shoot, but Kagami flew again, blocking it twice in a row. The time he spent in the air was surreal... He was floating.

My astonishment was replaced by the uneasiness from before. This was wrong. He went for a difficult shot even though Hyuga was free, and he stepped in to defend players that weren't his mark. He was trying to do everything himself. It wasn't the tunnel vision - it was different, deliberate, and my stomach dropped, finally seeing it for what it was:

Selfish play.

Not him. An icy fist clenched in my chest. Not him, too.

Until today, Kagami had been the perfect ace. He didn't hog the ball. Whoever had taught him basketball had hammered the importance of teamwork into his subconscious; although he was usually the one to put the ball in, he was perfectly aware that every player on the team contributed towards making it happen.

The Kagami playing right now was nothing like that. He didn't act like he was alone - it was worse. He acted like the rest of Seirin was a hindrance.

And just like that, the lock I kept on those memories broke. Images rushed in front of my eyes - Aomine's smile losing its shine until it disappeared completely, how he abandoned me, how he forgot me like I never existed. The sheer helplessness as the rest of the Miracles turned their backs on me one by one, the pain as a piece of my heart was torn away each time. Being alone again, being invisible again and the emptiness sharper than ever after having tasted completion.

And now - now that I was finally starting to sew the wound closed - now that Seirin had started healing the scar Teiko left in my heart - now it was slowly being ripped open, one stitch at a time. I couldn't breathe.

Please, not again.

The whistle blew for the end of the quarter, and I watched with dread as he approached the bench. He didn't even glance at me before he sat down.

"Kagami, you should have passed-" Hyuga started.

"Yeah, I didn't pass," he interrupted. "So what? What we need right now isn't team play. It's me, scoring!"

I felt sick as I watched him scowl at our captain, completely unapologetic. My deepest fear, my worst nightmare was unfolding before my eyes again, and like before I couldn't do anything to stop–

No.

"If, like you say, he has the potential to reach the level of the Generation of Miracles, at that point he's bound to grow apart from the rest of his team. He'll become a different person."

No. Not this time.

"I guess you're worth one burger."

"Most of the time I just sort of... Guess where you are."

"We won, eh Kuroko? You're not completely useless after all, kid."

"You did well. You should be proud."

Not this time. Not him.

"Kagami-kun." He turned to look at me, and I punched him across the jaw.

I'd hit basketballs, plenty of times - once, I even managed to bust apart an old ball and sprain my wrist in the process. But never a person. The only time I'd witnessed serious violence was when a player from another school made a slur about my being a girl, and Aomine snapped.

But mere words wouldn't get through to the place Kagami was in now. And I couldn't lose him, I couldn't go through that again. I was desperate.

It started out as a slap, but Tetsuya's voice in the back of my mind pointed out that a boy would punch instead, so I closed my fist at the last second. The result was an amateur-ish half-punch that probably hurt me more than it did him; his cheek was soft and hard at the same time and I felt my knuckles connect against the outline of his teeth. But it had the intended effect, snapping his head to the side and nearly toppling him off the bench.

I wasn't surprised when he jumped up, grabbed the collar of my jersey and punched me right back. I blinked up at him from the floor, my head ringing, a stinging pain blooming on my cheek.


Up in the stands Kise struggled against Kasamatsu's hold. "That little fuck!" he hissed.

His captain barely managed to keep a grip on him. "Sit down, Kise!"


"There's no point if you win alone. You say you want to beat the Miracles but you're – you're just like them!" I said.

My words struck a chord, or perhaps I wasn't able to completely stop the pain from showing in my expression, because I saw a spark of remorse in his eyes. It was gone in a split second. "If we lose, that'll just be some feel-good trash!"

"Then what is victory?" I challenged. "So you'll make the number on that scoreboard higher than the opponent's. Tell me, if no one is happy, is that victory?"

There was a moment of tension in which everyone around us held their breaths. From my spot on the floor, I refused to look away.

His fists unclenched. He looked up at Shutoku's bench, who were all staring at us in shock, and at the scoreboard, and finally around at our teammates, before his gaze met mine again, and the darkness in his pupils dissolved. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, grimacing to himself. "You're right. I'm sorry. Of course it's better if we win together."

Relief flooded my whole body, leaving me shaky and weak. I hadn't lost him.

"Right," Riko said. "I hope you mean it, Kagami, because I am this close to taking you off. The only thing I want you to do is stop Midorima, do you understand? Leave the offense to Hyuga and the others." He nodded, and she looked around at the rest of us. "Kuroko-"

"I can play," I assured her. "I think I'll be able to get away from Takao this time."

The referee signaled for the teams to get on the court, but Riko held me back, her eyes fixed on my cheek. "Are you sure?" she asked, worried.

"Yes." It hurt, and I hadn't yet stopped trembling from the shock, but if Kagami had gone full power, he would have probably knocked me out. "He held back."

"We're playing a game now, but I swear, tomorrow..." I didn't hear the end of that sentence because Midorima was stalking towards Kagami, Takao trailing behind him. I left Riko behind and headed over there to defuse the situation.

Midorima's shoulders were stiff, his mouth a thin line. I believed he was intelligent enough not to say or do anything that would compromise my situation, but I wasn't going to take any chances. Between Takao and I, we managed to distract our respective aces long enough that they had no time to exchange words before the referee blew the whistle signalling the start of the quarter.


After the match, paper-scissors-rock against the other first years cast me into the role of Kagami's crutch.

The idiot had jumped one too many times and injured something. All of us were shaking with the exhaustion of two games in a row, but he was the only one who collapsed when he tried to stand up. His arm was slung around my shoulders, with mine around his waist to help support him. To say he was heavy would be an understatement. It was a long way to the restaurant where we'd decided to replenish our energy. And to top it all off, it was raining.

But, I was happy. We'd won. It felt amazing, almost surreal. After seeing the way Midorima had evolved, and Takao's immunity to misdirection, even I couldn't deny that the odds had been bad.

Kagami tripped over something, making him lean more heavily on me. "Kagami-kun, you're heavy."

We trudged on behind the rest of our team, who were walking at a pace a bit too fast for us to follow. Despite our victory, the atmosphere between us was charged, the pain in my cheek an acute reminder of what had occurred. It felt like it was already swelling.

Kagami grunted with each step, his pain in another category.

"Idiot," I said.

"Oi."

"Only idiots injure themselves unnecessarily. Basketball idiot. Bakagami."

"Oi. You're a bigger basketball idiot than I am."

"At least I don't injure myself like an amateur."

"Stop scolding me. You're not my mother."

"And you're not a kid. It's not just you who's affected. You're Seirin's ace, the team depends on you. You need to think of the consequences."

"Says the puny guy who thought it'd be a good idea to provoke five thugs even though he's so puny."

I didn't point out that I'd trusted him and Kise to have my back that one time. And I was average height for a Japanese. "I won't carry you again. So don't do it again," I insisted. He grunted in response.

Kagami absorbed things much better when they were accompanied by a practical demonstration, so I waited until we reached a good puddle and dropped him. It was worth it if only for the look on his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I meant to reply flippantly, but what came out instead was quiet and serious. "You scared me."

He instantly knew what I meant, his eyes fixing on my cheek before lowering in embarrassment. "I already apologized, alright?"

The rain drowned out all sounds around us save for the odd passing car. He looked quite miserable sitting there in the puddle, wet hair plastered to his forehead.

"I'm the one to blame," I said, finally giving word to the thought that had plagued me since I'd first seen him jump. If I'd been able to support him from the beginning of the game he wouldn't have thought about doing everything himself. Instead, I hadn't been there when he needed me. I had failed him. No wonder he'd decided he was better off alone. "I'm your partner and I should have been there." I looked away. "I promise I'll be more reliable in the future."

"It's not your fault I was a cocky asshole, Kuroko." He reached up, and I grabbed his wrist to help him stand. He put his arm around my shoulders again and we resumed walking.

After a few more seconds of silence, he cleared his throat. "It's not that I couldn't rely on you. I just..." He trailed off. "You played with the Miracles. And I know I'm not as good as them yet, okay? I wanted to prove that I was worthy of- I just didn't want to lose to that seaweed."

I was shocked by the confession. Kagami being humble? I looked around for flying pigs, but didn't find any. "Did your injury also affect your brain?"

"Shut up. I was trying to be honest."

He seemed embarrassed - it wasn't easy to admit your insecurities, especially for a guy like Kagami, so I decided to cut him some slack. "I don't think Kagami-kun is weaker than the Miracles," I stated. "In some aspects, I think you are better. If what concerns you is the purely individual skill..." I recalled his first incredible jump, the speed of his dribble when he faced Midorima. It still wasn't quite as sharp, but it was definitely closer than when I'd first met him. "You're almost there."

Although he didn't reply, I knew it made him happy to hear that from me.

The restaurant was a small, cozy place, and the warmth felt nice after being out in the rain. And, surprisingly, Kise and Kasamatsu were sitting at one of the tables. What were the odds that we would choose the same restaurant?

My musings were interrupted because as soon as Kise's eyes found Kagami, he looked furious. He started getting up from his chair. "Kaijou," Kagami said, startled. "What are you doing here?"

Kise closed the remaining distance and grabbed him by the front of his jersey. "Do that one more time," he spat, pointing at my cheek with his free hand, "and I'll fuck you up so bad you'll never be able to play basketball again."

"The hell do you think you are?" Kagami snarled, knocking his hand off and shoving him back.

I got between them before it could escalate into real violence. "That's enough." My voice was steady, but my heart was pounding. Until this moment I'd forgotten that Kise had been in the stands. Midorima's reaction had been bad enough - I should have foreseen something like this from Kise.

Between him and Kagami I would have normally pegged him as the less aggressive of the two, but he was livid, his jaw tight, fists clenched, his whole body coiled like a spring about to snap. It scared me a bit, but I forced him to meet my gaze. His golden eyes were flat and angry. "You can't just let him hit you," he bit out.

"I hit him first."

"I don't care! It's not okay!"

I understood where he was coming from - but Kagami didn't know I was a girl, and strangely enough, I was glad he didn't treat me like one, even if it meant that I got punched. I held Kise's gaze without flinching.

Our stand off was interrupted by the point guard from Kaijou, Kasamatsu. He walked up behind Kise and laid a hand on his arm in warning. "It has nothing to do with us. It's Seirin's business."

"Yeah, fuck off," Kagami added.

Kise's eyes shifted from my face to his, narrowing dangerously. "You-"

"Kagami-kun, don't be rude," I said, cutting him off. "And Kise-kun, you've hit me before too, so you have no room to criticize." It was a low blow, but it was the only way I could think of to make him back down.

Kise took a step back, his skin paling suddenly. "That was an accident - I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Let's go eat," I declared, and headed to the only free table in the establishment - the one Kasamatsu and Kise had been sitting at. I didn't care. I'd had so many arguments today, and my good mood was ruined. I just wanted to eat and go home. I plopped down on a chair, and a few seconds later, Kise slowly lowered himself in the free chair next to me. Kagami and Kasamatsu took up places opposite.

I could feel people's eyes on us from the other tables, like they anticipated the continuation of the fight. "Anyway," I sighed, taking a menu, "Let's order." One by one, they mimicked me with various degrees of stiffness.

The atmosphere lifted somewhat as the rest of Seirin turned back to their meals, and they toasted and celebrated the victory. Kise exhaled, his shoulders slumping. "Congratulations on beating Shutoku," he mumbled.

"Thank you," I replied.

Kasamatsu cleared his throat. "The ending was intense. How did you know Midorima would fake?"

"I guessed," I lied. It hadn't been a guess. In the last second of the game the future had unfurled so clearly before my eyes. The certainty that Kagami would make that last jump wasn't altogether unfamiliar, given how in tune I was to his movements; but being able to predict that Midorima would fake, that was unexpected. I read which side of his body he would lower the ball to before Kagami's feet had even left the floor, and my arm had moved on its own, tipping the ball away.

The sheer clarity had been strange, but I wasn't going to question it.

"I'm glad we won, but this idiot injured himself." I shot an unhappy look at Kagami.

"I don't regret it," he grumbled, hiding behind his menu. Hm. It seemed he hadn't gotten the message. I made a mental note to drop him in a few more puddles before we went home.

Kise kept stealing guilty glances at me from the corner of his eye, but hearing the news cheered him up a bit, suspiciously enough.

A short time later, two new people entered the restaurant. "Oh. Hi," Kasamatsu greeted. Midorima's eyebrow twitched as he took in the celebrating Seirin, and he turned around to leave without a word. Takao followed. Unfortunately the storm took that opportunity to multiply ten-fold, and three seconds later the two Shutoku players were back inside, soaked like they'd dived in a swimming pool.

I still couldn't quite get a read on Takao. I'd managed to beat him in the end, but it had been a close thing - what would have happened if he'd prevailed over me? Despite his easy smile and conversation with Kasamatsu, he seemed a bit stiff and reluctant to look in my direction. He was frustrated he'd lost, understandably, and I wondered if my feeling of rivalry was reciprocated. Perhaps that was why he pulled Kasamatsu to a different table, as an excuse to get away from me.

It left a free spot in our table for Midorima, who took it stiffly.

It was tense at first. On the court, Midorima had taken the loss with grace (he really wasn't the type to cry in public the way Kise had). The only indication that he was upset was a momentary tightening of his jaw before he went to line up for the customary bow. But now that we were off the court he kept sulking and glaring and snapping at everyone - especially Kagami, whom he kept referring to as "brute" and "monkey".

Kise couldn't pass up the opportunity to poke fun at the miserable Midorima, which was enough to make him forget his own slump. Eventually, the topic of conversation moved on to more light-hearted talk of basketball and rematches. I finished dinner in a better mood than I thought I would, though Kagami still looked pissed off.

"I'll watch your game against Aominecchi as well," Kise promised as he stood up. He stopped walking as he drew level with Kagami and whispered something - it didn't look friendly. Kagami frowned half in irritation and half in confusion.

When he was gone Kagami turned to look at Midorima, his frown still in place, and then at me. It was easy to guess what he was thinking. It puzzled him that my former teammates were so hung up on the fact that he'd punched me. I doubted he'd guess I was a girl just from that, though.

Luckily for me, he was a bit thick for certain things.