VII. Research

Hiccup.

I had been looking for him for a while. His house was empty, he wasn't at the forge, and nobody in the village seemed to have seen him recently. I thought I would find him with his father, but Stoick had also mysteriously disappeared. After searching through the whole village, I decided to go away from it, and ventured in the forest.

I absolutely had to talk to Hiccup. But I absolutely didn't know what I was going to tell him. I only knew I needed to see him. Talk to him. Him, in short.

One day had passed since… since we had that "conversation". I hadn't seen him again since he had left my room, right after he had confessed his feelings to me. And that day had seemed terribly long. I had to admit it: I missed him.

I was walking quite fast, going further and further away from the village. But the further I went, the more I thought it wasn't useful to look for him over there; the forest was huge and I could get lost. I slowed down, at least to try and find any mark which would allow me to retrace my steps. I had never been so far in the forest. Except… except when I had followed Hiccup. When he had unwittingly lead me to the cove where he kept his dragon.

Of course! Why didn't I think about it earlier? He was surely there. I thought and vaguely remembered the direction he had taken. I must be able to find the cove, it was quite big and I would recognize the surroundings.

I had to find Hiccup. He must miss Toothless so much…

My heart sank. Strangely, I was missing the dragon too. More than I would have imagined. A few weeks ago, I still hated those animals. But everything had changed…

Hiccup had changed everything.

And I had to find him. I couldn't leave him alone with his memories, I was afraid he couldn't bear it. When he had cried, the other day, he had seemed so… lost. He had looked as if the entire world was collapsing on his frail shoulders. As if he wasn't strong enough to stand.

Since I knew him, life had been hard on him. His dead mother, the pressure from his father, then his disappointment, the comments and jeering of the other children, then teenagers his age. He must had felt so alone, and yet I remembered he had kind of an aura of courage, he seemed to accept events as they were happening, without needlessly wallowing in self-pity.

I suddenly realized I had never seen him that way. I had never tried to look further than his appearance, I had only followed the opinion of everyone. I had seen him as an incapable. As weak. When I was seeing him, because most of the time I wasn't even paying attention to him. Expect when he was standing in my way.

Since the beginning of dragon training, he had infuriated me by his lack of reactions and his clumsiness. I remembered I had seriously wondered what he was doing here. And then he had begun to become talented. Each day, he managed to overpower the dragons better than I had ever been able to do it. Since that moment, I had really started to get interested in him.

Because of my jealousy.

I felt ashamed. Though it was the truth. I had searched what his secret was only because I was jealous. Selfish. I couldn't bear the idea of Hiccup being better than me. Whereas he was way better than me. Nobody knew the real Hiccup.

I was almost running. The more I thought about him, the more I missed him. I had that weird feeling in my chest, since the day before already, and I suspected Hiccup to be the person responsible.

I recognized a part of the forest. I wasn't very far from the cove. My heart skipped a beat. I was looking forward to seeing him.

I continued walking, and arrived at the cove soon. It was pretty big, so I couldn't immediately see where Hiccup was. I carefully went down the rock face, scanning the surroundings. I still didn't see him.

My determination began to decrease. As I was walking around, I was less and less sure to find him here. While I started to give up the idea, I heard a crack behind me. I abruptly turned over and firstly only saw a huge black thing. Which was breathing. Who opened big green eyes.

I closed my eyes, on the verge of fainting, before opening them again.

Toothless was still there. Seated in front of me, staring at me with a puzzled look.

Oh my gods, was I going insane?

A thought suddenly hit me. Toothless certainly wasn't the only Night Fury over there. Yes, this dragon must be one of his cousins. But why wasn't he on his guard? He came closer. I didn't move. He sniffed at me, and gently rubbed his head against me. I saw his tail. And his harness. I hadn't paid attention to it, but it was still there.

This dragon could only be…

"Toothless?" I asked. "Is… is that you?"

By way of answer, the Night Fury licked my face. He had recognized me. And he had missed me, apparently. I still hardly comprehended. Unconsciously, I had already get used to the idea of not seeing him again. Yet he was there, in front of me. So he had gone away. Had Stoick lied, or had he really thought he was dead? And why Toothless hadn't come back to the village?

This last question was really stupid. Of course, Toothless hadn't come back to the village after what happened in the arena. He was aware of the danger hovering over him, he had wisely come back here, knowing Hiccup would meet him there at first.

Hiccup. I absolutely had to tell him. But I still didn't know where he was.

"Wait here, I'll come back soon!" I told Toothless.

He seemed to understand. I quickly went away, and climbed the rock face, slipping several times in the rush. Once at the top, I looked at Toothless one last time. He was staring at me. I read impatience in his eyes.

"Don't worry, you'll see him again soon." I said, more for myself than for the dragon.

I turned over and went into the forest. I was running as fast as possible, bursting with joy at the idea of telling Hiccup his dragon was still alive, and had never left him. His face ravaged by grief was constantly in my head, and it only made me run faster. I was coming closer to the village, and thinking about all the places where I could find Hiccup.

I was terribly looking forward to seeing him. I wanted to be the one who would bring him the news which would make him smile. I wanted to see a glimmer of hope in his eyes. His nice green eyes. I didn't want them to ever let out a tear again.

I wanted to be the one to make him happy.


Hiccup was staring at the flames enveloping and devouring his old parchments. Their heat pierced his skin, and their light colored it with a red glow. He kept his eyes on the fire until every single piece of paper was burnt. Then he looked at the ashes, thinking about that dream he had the night before.