CHAPTER VII
THE SUICIDE KING
"It was not just about being loyal... I accepted being King because I gave my word not to the Queen of Hearts but to the person with the Queen's position and that's you-Kiku."
After that faithful meeting in the gardens, the Queen had led them to the east wing. The east Wing where nothing and no one would disturb them. The East Wing where he was prohibited. At first he argued but the Queen's gaze never seemed to falter of grimace and doubt. Those Jokers... has aroused a topic that shouldn't be talked in public. The gardens didn't prove worthy of the topic, neither did the library or the throne room. Ludwig was anxious to know but he wasn't one to push it. From how Kiku was acting, it was obvious that he was waiting for a time to tell him about this... or at least he believed that he was or else he seriously wouldn't know who to trust any more.
Despite these thoughts of confusion and anxiety, he did well into following Kiku to a whole room the shouts the essence of peace and tranquillity. A room where the sheer smell of the authority dwells, injustice rots and just reigns. It was the room of his beloved Queen, the Queen of Hearts. The bed upon the side was neatly fixed—everything was neat and spotless. If there was something that Ludwig loved about anything or anywhere he would go, it would be the neatness. It overwhelmed him so much. But the person infront of him now was more than this... The Queen of Hearts who made his heart beat in such an unsteady rhythm with gestures like that of a Goddess, the one who made his stomach flutter with smiles from another world , and the one who he learnt to love despite barely even knowing him. The Queen whose eyes were always that of sorrow and doubt...
Now, he didn't mind those at all. Despite his heart beating loudly, he was certain that there was something that he had not learnt. Despite passing the Oath of Loyalty, he was doubtful—doubtful that the books he may have read were full of lies. When he demanded to know of what his real post was, he didn't received any hesitant gaze nor words from the Queen, instead he received a truthful answer. Kiku also knew that Ludwig deserved to know... one way or another.
Both of them were silent but not the usual awkwardness lay present in the air. Ludwig then noticed that they were quite similar in the way they would talk about pressing matters like this. No words other than ones necessary...Those words that needs to be thought of carefully so it won't be given the wrong meaning during the exchange. Words that are fitting of the conversation. Words that would clear up the doubts and uneasiness in the atmosphere. "Pray that my reign would be a peaceful one for which," said Kiku as he bit his lower lip. His gaze was focused outside the window as he stood there, seemingly fishing the words from star outside. "For which if my reign may prove it not, then... there's nothing more but death to be expected of this monarchy..."
Ludwig felt stabbed. He felt like everything went into a blur. "Why?" It was the only question he could and know that was appropriate to ask in this kind of situation. The words he had muttered, continued to ring upon his mind...The same Death that has taken and given everything he has now-it has come to collect him. Collect his very existence.
"A King of Hearts lives for his people... He lives for the time that I make a mistake so pray that I am as perfect as you thought I am." Kiku continued. There was a long pause that seemed like an eternity after those words but instead of being persistent, Ludwig stayed silent and waited patiently. "Ludwig, the King of Hearts is known as the suicide King for he kills himself in exchange for a gift. A gift that would bring any crumbling nation back to its feet. In other words, he can sacrifice his own life to save the lives of the people in the Kingdom." Kiku looked at him with a pained gaze.
Ludwig decided that he hated that gaze. He hated it with every fiber of his being yet he chose to stay quiet and merely clench his fist. What else could he do? Speaking would either hurt his beloved Queen further or make the situation worse? He was no saint as well. He was scared for him life. What did had he gotten himself into? What kind of life has he been living? He was living to die? "This has been the secret of the monarchy of Hearts...No one knows of this fact other than the Queen, the Knave and his numbers." The Queen continued to say as he looked down and played with his sleeves. Ah, that habit. Only now that there was further clues to how he felt. His mesmerizing chocolate eyes had been hidden under the shadow of his black hair. His lips pursed in one straight line. Why did all of the things he does make his heart swell with pain or happiness? It was only those two emotions that contradict each other. Was he making that face because he felt guilty of having Ludwig in this situation?
"You're nervous..." Kiku who was drowning in shame and guilt was surprised to hear that from him. Why did he have to raise his gaze whenever he heard that voice? He was only to react that way towards Arthur...towards someone he loves! Now there was confusion in his eyes as he took all his strength to look away from him He had to... or else all of his hard work would be proven futile. He had kept his affections down at bay for so long... for so many years and now, he arrives only to ruin them all?
"I am not. I am saying... The King is merely a tool for the Queen and the people of Hearts."
He was a liar. A liar who he is unworthy of such things as devotion and loyalty. Why would trust someone who lies to you? The first one week that Ludwig had stayed, he gave them those books to make his life a living hell. He did all the things that would make him say, "I quit." It was enough for him to run the monarchy on his own. It was enough that the legacy of his name would be the Kingless Queen of Hearts. At least by that gesture, he will prove that he doesn't need the so called corrector. He was stronger than his mother... He wasn't as low as her to seek even just the presence of someone she loves even at the risk of her own heart breaking. Who does Ludwig think he is to surpass all that? He held his ground well but as he looked at those clear blue and intense blue eyes, why does he falter? His heart was already crushed... and if he doesn't stay away, it will be crushed further and further... and further until he wouldn't be able to paste it all together once more. He won't be able to live by the rules anymore... He won't have an excuse anymore...
Ludwig stood up from his seat. "Kiku, do you think I'll believe those words when tears are failing from your eyes?" What? Kiku puts his hand over his cheek and was surprised. Indeed. It was tears... The tears...they were uncontrollable. After one dropped, it was followed by another... He covered his eyes with his sleeves. What was happening? What... He begged his tears to stop falling but it was no use. Each recollection he had of the time he had been lonely had flashed before his eyes.
Why am I not allowed outside the palace walls? These flowers are the only thing that pray me good will...When I choose a King...I'm sure I'll be happier. Friends? What are those? It's fine like this right? All I can do is watch him from a far... He's the Queen of Spades?... Oh, he has a King now... Bless you, my friend and bless the Kingdom of Spades... Me? Don't worry. I'm stronger than I look...
Oh who was he kidding? He wanted someone like Ludwig to come along! He wanted someone like him to be King! Blasted Fates for giving him such a task. Why must he name the King who was most likely to die if he was a failure?! Why can't his Kingdom be like the others?! Why was he the one on top?! He didn't wish for this! He didn't wish for every single one of this!
"I'll say it one more time..." Ludwig said as he pry his hands away from his face so his gaze fell on the handsome face. "My loyalty is for you... I may not know your reasons for making that bet and I may never do- but I intend that to be the last of the things I do not know of you. If you're going to fail then so be it...If you will not then so be it. You seem so used to the fact that you get to say the last of anything but hear me out even for just a moment. " He muttered before delicately holding his hand. He had that rare soft smile. It wasn't a confused smile. It wasn't a childish smile. It was an understanding and soothing smile. "It was not just about being loyal... I accepted being King because I gave my word not to the Queen of Hearts but to the person with the Queen's position and that's you. Kiku. I gave you my word and as far as I am concern, words are very important."
Kiku was left to stare at him. "Even if I would die, I wouldn't mind if it was for the Kingdom of Hearts."
"Why?"
"Because I've already swore that my life shall be at the service of Hearts...or did you forgot? I may be a King but I was a general first. I've long decided to risk everything for Hearts."
"No, you don't seem to understand! If I made a big mistake then it would be the end of your life!"
"You make problems look like they are the biggest threat. I am King, remember? Problems won't be as big as you think they would be."
Kiku gasped as he tightened his grip upon his calloused hand and his gaze locked upon him and him alone.
"You're not alone anymore. You have me and Feliciano working with you. Don't forget about us... Even if your reasons are unclear, we are ready to serve you. If you made a mistake, then we'll help you mend it. We, now, exist to help you... will you allow us to do that? No... you have no choice but to allow us."
"You're a fool... "
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Tears were now out of the way along with the awkward silence that seems to follow them around. Kiku had promised to help him with understanding the duties of the King. It was better than having Feliciano read stuff and leaving him to wonder in confusion and going around in circles. It was enough to have the very queen himself to state what he must do as King. He doesn't want to admit it but he did trust Kiku more than Feliciano but no doubt, Feliciano was a friend to count on. The Queen... he can never be a friend to him. He was... just so out of reach.
"A girlfriend or a wife... Do you have one of those or both?" Kiku asked.
Never did he even think about that in his life. His comrades would complain that he was such a "handsome" guy, like he'll believe those people, and he never goes to the brothels. It was common custom to have at least gone to the brothels if you're a military man. Well... He has gone there. When he was but a thirteen years old fellow, he was curious of the noise coming from the corner. What he saw there was most likely two people having the fun of their lives making out in the alley. Since then he can only boast about going as far as the very door of the place before the sheer memory of those moans would reach his mind. "Apparently... I haven't even thought about it. Why did you suddenly asked?" He was just nineteen years old! What does one expect of him?! Have a wife and a damn mistress around?
"Is that so...Are you interested in someone?"
Now, how would Ludwig react to that? The answers to those questions are needed by both the Queen of Hearts and Kiku- if that's how Ludwig characterized them. Kiku eyed him carefully as if trying to know him nerve per nerve- The reason? Ludwig doesn't know.
"May I ask why this is necessary?"
"Because I would like to talk to that person to clarify that you would not be cheating on him or her by doing a ritual."
He didn't like the sound of that. Last time they talked about a ritual, he was impaled and unconscious for a few days. Sure, it brought them closer. It was the first time that he saw the Queen voice out his opinions and desires not as queen but as a person. It also was the first time that he held him. Yes, he counted that part of the ceremony where the Queen wraps his arm around his shoulder for support as a way of hold. And yes, Ludwig knew he was absolutely taken by the queen infront of him which made the difficulty triple. "And that ritual would be?"
"Sex. "
"WAIT WHAT?!"
"We have to do that once in a while..."
"WHY?"
"We could just kiss but sex is a much better process."
How can he calmly say those words like they are the most normal of things to talk about? Ludwig's face was covered with shame as he was the one now covering it. "Please, tell me there's an exemption there! There has to be, right?!" The calm and composed and now recognized King of Hearts was now blushing from his cheek to his neck. To do such an act... To do that...why?! Wasn't that only for married couple and for those who... well, he did have affections for the Queen but that wasn't an excuse to do that! Sex... just because the law says so, isn't just like using each other?
"Let me finish explaining-"
"Don't tell me Feliciano is also going to join us-"
"King!" Kiku snapped before rubbing his temples. "It is not just because the law says so! Like I said, listen to me. " Ludwig sighed softly as he Kiku tried to brush off the embarrassed expression his face held. Ludwig wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable with the topic. He cleared his throat once more and looked at Ludwig. "The King and Queen shares a bond like no other monarch. We, the queens, are storage of powers necessary for the King to use the key element of the Kingdom. Can you tell me what is the element of Hearts? "
"Water...but isn't the one who uses the element of the Kingdom the one who stands on top? Isn't that supposed to be you?" Ludwig asked with a frown. He figured that for this conversation to work, he has to be open minded about this topic.
"In Hearts even if the Queen is the top, it doesn't mean that we can use the elements given. Only a few queens are given that ability like in our reign, we have Queen Arthur of Spades who can manipulate thunder and lightning and Queen Elizabeta of Clubs who can make the earth tremor." Kiku explained before he sighed. He, himself, doesn't understand why those two could manipulate their Kingdom's elements. "I, for one, cannot and does not possess the ability to manipulate water. I can only use magic for healing and supporting people who had skill with weapons."
Ludwig listened carefully. Kiku was saying the weakness of the Monarchy and its strengths. These facts were considered as top secret and Fates know, only him and Feliciano may know of this. "Even if the Queen has the magic to use the elements, the Queen cannot use it? Why?"
"Equity. Balance between the Monarchs. The queen cannot have it all and so does the King. There must be a balance to be sustained within the Monarchy and out in the Kingdom. The Knave is incharge of seeing the balance for the Kingdom and its people. The King, however, is incharge of the balance of power within the Monarchy. See our situation like this- I'm the energy, you, the Knight needs to use his sword, our Knave." Kiku continued to explain and little by little it dawned upon him. But of course he was one curious lad and he had to ask a question. Kiku found this nice since it did show that he had the interest to learn.
Feliciano, managing the balance within the Kingdom-Ludwig can somehow see that. He had the tongue to do that and the diplomatic skills to do it. He was no small fry afterall. He may look goofy in the outside but Feliciano can be smart if he wanted. He can handle accounts quite easily and despite how he looks at times, he can easily get along with anyone-which may prove an asset for gathering information. His lack in strength was his asset. Deception was his specialty—Ludwig blinked. Wait... Feliciano, was like water. Not only that, Kiku showed the same characteristics as well. No one can actually figure what they are thinking. He looked at the Queen and received a smile. "Are you beginning to understand now?"
"Yes. If the Knave and King has the authority to balance the inner and outer part of Kingdom, then what of the Queen of Hearts?" he asked as he looked at the Queen who merely blinked and chuckled. He stood up and took out a book from his shelves. He opened it slowly and showed him a map of the Kingdoms. Like a teacher, he laid out the book on the bed, where both of them sat.
"The Spades are eternal for their timeless power. The Diamonds are valiant for their dangerous winds. The Clubs are almighty for their strong earth. " Kiku started as he points as each Kingdom before pointing where the heart's symbol was. "No matter how dangerous the winds are, how strong the earth is, how timeless power seems to exist, we remain the just Hearts. No power, no earth, no winds affects us. We remain just. That makes us the top suit and as the one who sits on top, I, the Queen, sees to it that Just is what will rule in the four Kingdoms. In opposite of that lies the Spades who balance our just with their power. The skies of the diamonds balances the Club's earth. The world must remain that way or else war would break out."
It was amazing how things got so much easier when he explains. If he wasn't Royal, he was sure that he would be a great teacher-he was sure the Kids from the villages would love him. Wait? When did he stop being the Queen and became the teacher in his imaginary world?
"But enough of that...do you understand why we need to have sex? "
GOD. And there he was thinking that he had forgotten about that! "Erm... Is it really necessary?"
"Yes because a Queen can come at their limit as well." Kiku explained calmly while closing his book. "We have our ways but then as King you wouldn't be able to fulfil your job as the bearer of the element. It may not be sex... but a kiss would do nicely."
"In other words... there's no escape." Ludwig said in defeat. The queen of hearts merely returned the book from his shelf.
"Yes but you see... only you have the ability to know when you'll need to do that."
"Pardon?"
"I'm saying, you're the one to initiate. It is part of being King so without it you'll be the one to know it." Kiku clarified with a smile. He seemed alright with the idea. There was no sign of protest in his voice or his expression. His eyes were true- TORTURE INDEED. Would Ludwig be the only one to suffer this so called ritual in self embarrassment? "It's fine whatever the time you seek it, but I do prefer the night time."
The point of the whole thing was, he could be together with the person he loves because of mere duty. He was actually permitted by the law to have a night with the Queen and claim him as his. Of course, who wouldn't want that? But if it was Ludwig, it would be downright impossible for him to do so- His pride would get in the way and for sure, he won't even go as far as what Kiku expects him to go because of it.
"If I may be so bold to ask one last question..."
"Go on" Kiku encouraged as he approaches him and sat on the bed once more.
"Do you have a girlfriend or a wife...a concubine?"
It was clear to him that Queens were of the Royal line and if the Queen was male, it was obvious that he will take a wife from the nobles-even have numerous of them if possible, and produce the next heir. Having a male for a King wasn't exactly that profitable aside from ensuring a strong monarchy. It was one of the things that bothered him when he was chosen as King- but after the Oath of Loyalty, he wondered if a lady could even handle that pain. It was excruciating afterall. The past monarch was Kiku's mother, who obviously had the King impregnate her to produce the next Queen, so how does this work?
"As of now, I don't have one," Kiku answered truthfully as he let out a sigh. That was the signal that he wasn't lying at all. All right, Ludwig was somehow glad there-
"Do you have someone you love?"
"I beg your pardon?" Now that's the real question. I BEG YOUR BLOODY DAMN PARDON. He had someone. This made Ludwig frown and looked at the Queen with an intense and intimidating gaze which was enough to make someone from his battalion faint and run for his dear life. Who was this person and how did he know him? He wanted those questions asked but he didn't dare voice it out. He will just have to find the answer on his own. "Eh? Why are you looking at me like that, Ludwig? "
"Nothing."
Oh, he wasn't a military man for nothing and no one did really know that he was quite the protective person when it comes to those he calls friends-what more of the person he had actually fallen for? Nothing is the right word for it to describe how he feels towards the person the Queen fancies. Nothing more and Nothing less.
To be continued...
And yes, the ritual is from Emergency Call doujinshi (USUK).
