Have you ever felt responsible for something that goes completely wrong? Straight to hell. No diversions. Something that you and you alone in the whole world can fix. Something that's been destined for you. But time flies past you, laughing at the fact that for once in your minuscule existence the world actually, truly needs you. And while you rush with all might towards the culmination of your whole essential being – time, in that detached objectivity, beats you to it and ruins it to ashes right under your nose. Dude! How sweet it would be to grab time by the collar and punch its teeth out, one by one, for what it has taken away from you. But it's impossible. Neither does it occur to anyone to blame time. And even if they do – it would, in any case, simply fly forward, unaffected by anything, not stopping even for a second to consider what had it just destroyed. And you, as an unwilling but yet inseparable part of it, are forced to move on with it, leaving your torn soul in that non-existent moment, forgotten by life and time. And your miserable body has to spend the rest of its life soulless and purposeless, waiting for time to drag it finally at that last stop of the ride. And at least then you get to rest in peace and not have to think of the moment when all was taken from you. Icy chill runs down my spine. Does the soul remain there? In that horrific, destructive moment, re-living it all over and over again? In blinding pain and no hope for redemption or forgiveness? Because there is simply no one left to save it. Even time had abandoned that place, leaving your soul a prisoner to nothingness. To eternity.

Something burns in the corners of my eyes, as I fly, fly, forward. Time, the cold fecker, breathes in my neck, but I won't… won't... let it beat me. Dancer is not dying today – not today, not ever! I clench my teeth. Christian slowed me, determined not to let me go back. If I'm too late because of him, I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him for eternity, every single moment of it. I'll find a way to escape that last stop and will spend the rest of my forever killing him. Feck, I'd give my soul to get the chance of ripping his heart into pieces centuries by centuries… Not that I'll have any soul left, should I be too late today. No, my soul will be right here. In this precise point of my life. Watching Dancer, dying together with him. Forever. Is that what immortality is? This frozen state of one's essence in a moment, deprived of time or life. Dude. I realize immortality sucks.

When I reach Chester's, I have no plan. No time for a plan. I freeze-frame faster than light. I never really got it… what's faster – light or time? I swoosh past every damned creature in Chester's, including Ryodan's men. Everyone stumbles confused. No one sees me. As if a hurricane suddenly passed through the whole building and evaporated in a matter of seconds. I have no time to stop. Yet I have no idea where to go. I need to know. Now. I look around franticly and see him. In one push I'm at him, plastering at the wall. It cracks behind him.

"Where!" I roar a single word.

Lor's face is appalling. Eyes widen, taking in my features, looking me into the eyes. I have no time for this!

"Now!" I roar again.

His lips twist after another moment of staring and tell me what I need to know.

"Level three."

I begin to shift gears mid-sentence. Something manacles my hand and doesn't let me leave. With feral gaze I turn back.

"Be careful, honey," Lor says quietly and let goes of me.

Our eyes meet then for a second, and in the next I'm already flying down the squeaking-clean stares of Chester's. The face of Lor, his eyes – everything is uprooted from my mind. The only reminder is the pulsating promise of a bruise on my arm.

At level three I finally slow down. The place is quiet and empty. Numerous corridors leak to all sides. But I know where I need to be. My heart skips a beat. He's there, straight ahead. I can feel him. Alive. Weak light of hope cracks through the icing dread. I step on it immediately. No space for hope. It weakens. I step in front of a door and still, bracing myself for the worst as I push it open.

"Dancer!" my voice betrays me.

I rush forward, sliding on my knees towards him, cupping his face. He's on the floor, leaning at the wall, eyes closed , head backwards. His face is sweaty and glasses are gone. There are bruises and cuts all over it. The moment I call him and touch him, he flinches. His eyelids tremble and lift slowly. The darkened gaze across me lightens up the moment he sees me.

"Mega…" he wheezes.

"No, don't talk. I'll get you out of here!"

I pull him up gently by the wrists and try to put him on his legs.

"Can you stand up?"

He shakes head and pulls away slowly.

"No, Mega.. I need to talk to you…"

"Not now, Dancer. Let me get us out of here first. Then we'll talk plenty. Come…'"

He pulls away more stubbornly. We have no time for this.

"Come, Dancer! We'll talk later, but now we really need to get out of here, befo…"

I jerk and stop pulling up. The hair at my nape goes up slowly, and I know he is here, before I even turn around. I let Dancer carefully on the floor, squeeze fists and flash back at him. One, two punches in the chest. I pull away and duck, avoiding his. My hands shoot forward and grab his ankle, pulling it sharply to the side. With a deep growl he stumbles and rocks down to the floor, landing on hands and pushing up almost immediately. I copy his moves and we stand face to face, measuring each other with eyes. Dancer is safe, behind my back. The man in front of me cuts me an icy look.

"You'll stop this very instant or the kid…" he begins quietly.

Ignoring him, I throw myself at him with crooked face. I told him once never to take anything that is mine! Ever! My fist lands on his jaw. His head twists backwards as if in slow-mo and for a moment I stare startled. Then he turns back to me with empty gaze and his pupils dilate fast, eyes turning full black. The resonating snarl deep in his chest reminds me that Dancer is here. In this place, completely unsuitable for humans. I squeeze my fists and step back. Ryodan continues to growl. His body vibrates at low frequency and I can hear his blood splashing through it. He's pissed. More than ever.

I stop retreating and feel my own blood boiling.

"What are you pissed about?!" my leg ricochets violently from the floor as I try to both stomp and step.

My voice echoes in the room and bounces of all of us. The silence is heavy. Ryodan's breathing is the only thing that breaks it. Rale and deep, it reminds me of the beast.

"Mega…" Dancer begins.

Ryodan's head swivels towards him immediately and he snarls, snapping jaws at him. Oh, no!

"Don't you even look at him!" I scream.

I throw myself forward, grabbing his throat, mounting him on the ground. He flips me over before we even reach the ground and tumbles down on me, squeezing my throat just as hard. Our bodies are fused, vibrating in unison. My breathing is cut, his is inhuman. At this moment I know Ryodan is much, much stronger than me. This semi-beast form can rip me apart with a single move. My vision blurs from the lack of oxygen. Ryodan's face is so close. I feel his breath, his gaze. Ruthless. Killer. Part of me wants to cry. The contrast with our last meeting is heartrending. Gone. No trace of that laughing face... The beaten face of Dancer floats in front of my eyes almost immediately and evaporates any destructive emotions from me. This is who he is. My fingers tighten. This is who I am too.

We remain like that for what feels forever. Everything around us disappears and all I can see are too endless, empty black pupils and my own stone-cold reflection in them. Eventually I begin to recognize a presence of a sound. No, scream. Roar.

"Let go of each other you buggering idiots!" Dancer screams, punching clumsily at us. "You want to kill yourself? Let go…"

He pulls sharply Ryodan's arm. In one smooth motion Ryodan elbows him in the stomach and sends him off flying towards the wall.

I yell, kick over Ryodan with a knee and roll away. Next I'm at the wall, grabbing Dancers from the back, taking the impact of the blow on me. We slide heavy to the ground. My hands hug him and keep him close to me. I lift eyes wildly and meet Ryodan's. He's standing up now and approaches us with slow steps. Towering over us, I can swear his eyes never leave mine, even though his face is in the shadows now.

"Tell her." He bares his teeth. The shape of his body is… wrong. His chest expands continuously at each breath. His voice comes off guttural, growling.

I blink. What?

"Tell her." The rumble in his chest increases.

"What!" I snap back. Then I take a second to think. "Who?"

Suddenly I realize Ryodan is looking not at all at me, but Dancer. Huh? In full astonishment I look at the back of his head.

"Tell me what…"

No one moves.

"Tell me wha.. Dancer?" He remains still in my hands, head lowered. "Dancer?"

My heart hurts. Something is wrong. Dancer never looks away, never avoids me. I pull him closer and, ignoring Ryodan's growling, put chin at his shoulder and ask softly:

"Dancer? What's happening?"

He flinches as though startled by my voice and lifts slightly head. Looking unwillingly to the side, he mutters:

"Mega. I need to talk to you…"

"Spill it already." Ryodan grits his teeth and his voice finally starts resembling his human form again.

I look up at him furiously.

"Don't you interrupt him! He has something important to say! And you are not supposed to be here! Leave us already." I help Dancer up and hold him standing. "I came here for Dancer. I warned you not to take what's mine. You will pay for this. In blood and bones. Get out of here!"

His hand crushes mine in a painful grip and his lips lean against my ear as he hisses:

"You are going nowhere. Ever. .mine. And I suggest you also don't try to take what's mine. You won't like it, Dani."

He let goes and turns back.

"You have half an hour." He throws over the shoulder and slams the door after him.

I wait for a moment then turn franticly at Dancer.

"I will get you out of here. Can you stand?"

I offer my hand. Dancer confuses the feck out of me, when he steps back and shakes head.

"No, Mega. We really need to talk. I… "

"Dancer!" I try to sound reasonable. What could be so important? "We will. I promise. But we can't stay here. Not with this dude. I think he wants to eat you."

"I have no doubt," Dancer mutters and takes another step back. "Mega, this is of no matter now. Listen, I want to tell you…"

"You really think this can't wait!..."

"No!" he snaps back at me.

I freeze and stare at him.

"Ah…" he rubs face and messes hair impatiently. Then he looks back at me. "Mega. Trust me, you would want to know this."

"What's going on?" alright, now he worries me. I decide to let him spill it fast then get us the hell out of here, before we are both manacled in some lame-ass dungeon again and I figure it's only logical to throw myself at Ryodan's neck again.

He turns and takes few more steps away, exhaling quietly. Then looks back, and panic chills me at the coldness in his eyes.

"Dancer..."

"What do you remember from your childhood, Mega?" his question leaves me catching flies with open mouth.

"What the feck has that have to do…"

"Do you remember anything else besides your mom? Before Dublin?"

"I… what?" my teeth clench. What the hell is he gabbing about? And I have no intention talking about my mom. Not with Dancer, not with anyone. "Look, dude. I don't know why you've decided now is the moment to get to know each other, but trust me…"

"I have no wish to get to know you, Mega." Dancer interrupts me.

Okay. Now he begins to irritate me.

"Great. Because we have no time fo…"

"I already know you." He cuts me again.

I clench teeth.

"Great. Let's go."

"We are not going anywhere, Mega. Listen to me… " Dancer waves impatiently with hand.

"Look, if you traipse some more – I'm going without you! Do you really wanna stay here with this psychopath Ryodan? You'll hardly play chess, believe me!"

"Ryodan doesn't bother me one bit." He looks me funny. "He can do absolutely nothing to me."

"Dude. Your face."

He waves again.

"Scratches. Ryodan can't get rid of me. I…" he bites lips for a second. "I will always be here. No matter what he does."

I stare at him silently.

"Dancer? Are you alright? Did Ryodan hit you on the head or something…"

I don't get it. Dancer usually gets the situation from half a word. Why is he suddenly so dense? There is no logic in anything he says. And this is Dancer. He is always logical.

"In this tiny fraction of eternity – I am here," he continues. "And always will be. Over and over again. And... – his eyes give crazy a whole new meaning – ...Ryodan can't do a squat about it, trust me."

Suddenly I feel like a rare insect under magnifying glass, as his attention goes back on me.

"And you are also always here. I don't know why exactly this part of your life – maybe it doesn't even matter. All I know is that I am here and so are you. And so it will be forever."

"Dude." I shake head. What did Ryodan do to him!

"And you are wrong, Mega. I know you. For most of my life. And there hasn't been a single second I haven't thought of you.

"Bull!" I explode. "You know we met after the walls fell!"

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was during the time Mac was pri-ya and Barrons went into hiding with her for months. I've been looking for them everywhere. Days and nights, weeks after weeks. It's when I met Dancer. Surviving through it all, all on his own. I was fascinated. Dude! This ain't him! What the hell is wrong with him!

I look at him and he is giving me that sceptical look, making annoyance boil up in me fast. This is such a waste of time. Don't even know why he's bothering us with it.

"Don't you think I'd remember if I knew you for almost forth of a century!" I snap curtly, angry I'm letting him drag me into this nonsense.

His eyes pierce me.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?"

His voice is chilling. I blink stupefied. Before I get around to answer he asks sharply:

"Do you know how I knew you are Dani, and not Jada?"

The change of the conversation annoys me further.

"Dude, I don't know what's wrong with you and why you are talking like that, but you better explain it quick. We met in November. Last year for you that is. You've arrived in Dublin just before the walls fell…"

"Technically, I came to Dublin exactly the night of October 31st," he cuts me and waves with hand. "Not that it matters. But this is where you're wrong Mega. I didn't arrive last year. I've been in Dublin for a very, very long time. For me that is. For you it's indeed a year… or five. This time."

This time? I shake head in confusion and for a moment I forget Ryodan and the urgency of the situation. I rub eyes tired and ask quietly:

"What are you saying, Dancer? Just tell me. Quit beating around the bush."

He approaches me hesitantly, holding my eyes. The unusual detachment of his gaze leaves strange dull ache in my chest. I feel his hand touching mine, taking it in. Our fingers lace. We stand face to face and I realize something is happening. Something important for him. I want to help him and my heart hurts, because I don't know how.

"Just tell me…"

His face is taut, when he speaks again.

"I knew you weren't Jada, because if you were – I wouldn't have to tell you anything. You would have remembered everything."

My face is impervious. I want to let him speak.

"You and I…" Dancer drops my hand and slides fingers in his hair, remaining still like this, holding head between hands. "Ahh, every bloody time! I hate doing it!"

I stretch hand and touch him lightly.

"You and I what, Dancer?"

He looks at me again and sighs.

"You and I… we are not like the rest of the people, Mega."

"Dude. I know that. We are superheroes!"

He smiles faintly, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Yet another shot of ache runs through my heart.

"Yeah… with the only difference, we were created to be something else."

My heart slows down and suddenly I feel at the edge of enormous cliff. If I jump – I know there is no turning back. If I don't, I'll never know what's hidden down there. Dancer knows something. I need to know it too.

"What else?"

His eyes trace my features slowly. Then he shrugs and says:

"Weapons."

The silence lies heavy on us like never before. We look at each other, both with shields up, as if none is willing to betray a thought to the other. Gah! Who are we? This is Dancer! I can tell him anything. I squeeze through teeth:

"Dude. Tell me something I don't know."

Rowena did make me into a weapon. It's true. Is this what it is? He's learnt what I've done for that old witch? And now he's about to start judging, just like… yeah, Mac did? Dude. No way am I letting him interrogate me. No way am I justifying myself. He shakes head and I feel my defenses shooting up.

"Not only you, Mega… me too."

Huh? He means

"You knew Rowena?"

If that bat laid even a finger on him – I'm going to dig up her old rotten bones and kicked them from here to Sunday and back! Did she know about him? The things she would have done to him, if she did! Dude. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I know what she did to me…

"No, Mega. She took only you. Not me. I guess, it's because you seemed… the stronger ace in the hole for her," he giggles lightly and for the first time I've known him, I feel madness in his voice. "I wouldn't disagree on that one, actually."

He gives me a stern look and for a moment I get the sense of complete alienation in him. A person I neither know nor understand. His eyes shine feverishly.

"No, Mega. She chose you, because you were precisely what she needed. The strongest sidhe-seer ever living. Unstoppable weapon against the fae. Perfect killer. Your blood combines the talents of all major sidhe-seer families, plus additional … modifications. Fully experimental. Wildly successful. This is why you are the way you are. Not because you are chosen, or special, or circumstantial product of unbelievable luck. No. You are made this way."

My heart slams in my chest so hard, I am almost sure even Dancer can hear it.

"Where did you hear all this? How… no, who? Who made me this way!"

He closes eyes.

"No matter. This is not the point…"

"This is not the point?! What is the point then?!"

I shake. He knows something. About me. About what I am. Why I am. And chooses to withhold it. Dude!

"I am the point, Mega! Me." He replies emphatically.

"You?" my brain pulsates. "What about you, Dancer!"

"I too am a weapon, Mega."

He lifts hand and silences me.

"No, you are right. We don't have time. You need to hear me out. Now."

I stare at him and he stares back. I'm enraged and excited and I can barely control myself. Dude. No trace of Jada left here. I bristle silently and force my lips to seal. He sees my silent agree and nods satisfied. Letting small air out, he then closes eyes and begins:

"Their name is Triton Corp. A powerful ancient organization, aware of both fae and sidhe-seers. For centuries they've been snooping around, learning things, studying both sides. You can imagine what immense source of power it would be to control either of them. Preferably both. Such combination would give tools to take over the whole world. Worlds, even. You, Dani," he opens eyes and gives me cold emotionless look that chills deep in my chest, "were their best weapon so far. The perfect sidhe-seer. Rowena's obedient assassin."

He lifts finger and stops my revolted objection.

"Were. Rowena is gone. And with the latest developments – I doubt that any of them is stupid enough to think of controlling you."

A small shadow of a conspiratory smile crosses his face so fast, I'm not entirely sure I didn't just imagine it out of old habits. In any case, it melts away instantly, as he continues with his ludicrous story.

"As you can imagine, they were not willing to take the risk of …betting everything on one horse. And so, besides you, there was also a plan B. In case of… failed management of the project, as they called it. This plan B – I am sure you already see where this is going – was me... A human prototype of fae."

My eyes slowly widen and run all over his face. Is this a joke?

"Much less successful than you, I would say. Regeneration was never my thing." He smile is crooked. There isn't a single trace of the usual warmth in it. "No matter how hard they tried to … make it happen."

The way he says that gives me the impression that even if half of what he's saying is true – those experiments were never painless nor safe. My hands curl into fists.

"Eventually they gave up investing more time and resources into that direction, and focused on the next best thing – sifting." He pauses for a second. "Now, this was much better than the whole regeneration fiasco, have to give them that."

I go numb. Dancer can sift? My head throbs and I can literally hear the brain thinking, taking in info, trying to make sense out of it. What the feck is he saying? Can any of this actually be true… The echo of his voice penetrates slowly through my thoughts and I re-focus.

"Still, I wouldn't really put sifting into my CV. After I've spent six months of intensive trainings, experimental procedures, including exposures to different states of matter and electrical stimulations, I finally managed. To this day I have no idea how I did it – it was like tapping the TV. Whatever it was, though, it definitely worked."

"You can sift?!" the question escapes before I could stop it.

Dancer looks at me funny, as if doubting. Then he takes in breath and nods.

"Yes and no."

"Dude!"

"I managed only once at will. And even then it wasn't …exactly correct. You see, I sifted. But not through space…"

I shake my head incredulously.

"…but in time."

My eyebrows slowly lift up and silence once again lies heavily on us. Because he says nothing else, I repeat blankly.

"In time."

He nods. His eyes are burning.

"In time."

"Dude, what the feck!" I explode. This is too much.

"I'm not making it up, Mega! Think! Why would I lie to you? What possible reason would I have to tell you any of this, unless it was the truth?" his hands lie on my shoulders. "Think. I know you can remember. It's in you."

"Dude, what the feck do I have to do with the whole story? Why would I remember any of it…"

"If she can, you can too, Mega."

"She – who?" surely he doesn't mean…

"Jada! She knows this is all true…"

"Bull! Dude, why would Jada know anything about you that I don't…"

"Because she remembers!" he explodes too. "Everything. No matter how young you were. She remembers me. And would never forget me. Nor will I forget her. She was our only hope in that God-forsaken place…"

"What place?!" I yell, trying to out-shout him. Everything protests in me. This isn't us! We don't yell at each other! We don't doubt or lie to each other! We are pees in the Mega-pot! I look at him and feel something heavy growing in my chest.

Dancer takes in deep breath and holds it for a moment. When he continues, he looks tired like I've never seen him before.

"Triton's lab. The place where we came to be." He rubs eyes and I just stand stupefied. "I know you were little, Dani, and you cannot remember. You were only two. But, God, you should've seen yourself! Fire-child. Life and power poured off you like nothing I've seen before. And even though you were little, your instincts were perfect. You knew there was something wrong. With what they did to you. To me. Bloody hell, it was you who came to me to comfort me, gave me hope, after each day of torture. Soon enough, no matter what they were doing to me, anticipating the end of the day so I can finally see you again, was all I could do and live for. I spent sixteen years deprived of humanity. Trying not to be a human. And then you came. And the next two years of my life were the happiest I've ever known."

I stand frozen, staring speechless at the aqua eyes of Dancer, remembering how I always thought they seemed fae-brushed. And even though the things he tells me cannot possibly be true – I know his eyes don't lie. I try to say something. Anything. Any sound. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. There is a big lump, stuck in my throat and I'm afraid I will never get it out. And it will stay there, tearing my flesh, until I suffocate from this horrifying, painful feeling.

"And then it happened." Dancer continues quietly. "I finally sifted. I was terrified. You have no idea. It never crossed my mind we would actually succeed in bending space, even more – time. No one considered the possibility that both things are linked. One moment I was in the laboratory, the next my whole body fell apart. I swear, I died. Next thing I remember is opening eyes, lying in a hidden, small alley in the middle of the freezing night. I neither knew where I was, nor how to go back. But what was even worse – I didn't even imagine to wonder when I was."

Fingers trace my cheek and my whole body flinches as if electrocuted. His eyes sink in mine and I finally start seeing the familiar twinkles of Dancer's gaze.

"Few days later I saw you." He shakes head and I almost stop breathing. "At first I couldn't believe it. I knew it was you the moment I saw you. Despite all logic. And the only thing I could do with it – is to use it as fulcrum for any sequential events. A way not to lose my mind. It made everything easier. The moment I accepted that you were there, and you were twelve years later – everything gained some sense. I had no idea how and why – but in some miraculous way I sifted through time, exactly in that moment and place, when the walls between the realms fell. And ever since then I'm stuck here. And have no idea how to go back."

The lump in my throat expands, and yet I push and squeeze hoarse words around it.

"W-why…" I swallow hard and try again. "W-why are you telling me all this only now? Why wait so long? Why not telling me the moment you saw me… "

Dancer throws head back and explodes in heartbreaking laughter.

"Oh, why, Dani. I did.."

"No…"

"The first time. The moment I saw you. I ran towards you, yelling like an idiot, waving hands. I can't describe you the expression on your face." His lips still twitch. "Can't say it was the smartest way of approaching you."

"Dude! There is no way this happened!"

"You're wrong, Dani," his smile remains a little longer. "It did. The first time. I'm not proud to say that the next few times as well. Despite all the genius you accredit me – I can't say I particularly excelled in this situation. After a time I finally learned which was the correct reaction. But never from the first time."

"What do you mean – after a time…" I ask weakly.

"You see, Dani, this is not the whole story yet. It would have been too easy if it was. No. The thing is… my time here is limited. And every time it expires – it's as if someone hits the restart button and everything starts all over again. And every time I go back to that dark alley, in the middle of Dublin, the night the walls fell."

My blood draws away from my face and I want to puke.

"What do you mean your time is limited… you are telling me that any moment now you can blink out of existence and sift back?"

He nods and spikes pierce my heart.

"No…"

"It's different every time. I'm not sure what it depends on. I suspect some realms are more stable than others, but I still have no way of calculating it."

"How… feck, Dancer! How long has this been going on?"

"Long, Mega."

"How long!"

His lips form a thin line.

"Does it matter?"

I look at him helplessly. The lump in my throat is long gone. The watery corners of my eyes are my new source of irritation.

"Dancer… we can't let this happen. There must be a way! You have no idea the crazy things I've seen the last five years! Nothing is impossible. Feck! You must know that yourself!"

His gaze is of a someone about to tell the bad news to a kid. I fist my hands. He's giving up! How could he just give up!

"Dude! Don't you understand! If we do nothing – you'll disappear and will never see me again!"

I have no idea how to go back in time. If he goes – he goes. Dancer will no longer be in my life. I cannot bare that thought. I don't think of it.

His face is forlorn. The cool detachment returns to it and for a second I pray not to hear what I know he is about to say.

"You won't see me again, Mega. I will come back to this moment. And will have a new chance."

"Chance…?" My heart hurts.

"To meet you again." His eyes pierce mine and I feel burning drops falling down my cheek.

I wipe them furiously.

"But it won't be me!"

He stills. Then his lips twitch up momentarily, even though the eyes remain expressionless. Suddenly I feel the presence of something… inhuman in him. How come I've miss it for so long?

"Funny. No matter, which version of you I meet, whenever we reach this point – this is the only thing you say with perfect consistency."

Bitter tinge painfully coils in my mouth, sneaking deeper in me, and I can literally feel my brain resetting, rewiring on a new wave. Strong, repulsive wave. I despise myself for feeling this way. I feel tainted. Envy towards me. That other version of me, who will get the chance to see Dancer again. And he will forget all about me, that is me, and will become her Dancer. Gah! I cannot stand myself! My body begins to vibrate. Suddenly I want to get out of here, even without him, and cover deep somewhere. Somewhere no one can reach. Not Dancer, not Christian… Not Ryodan.

The thought of him unnerves me and I begin to vibrate even more furiously and everything around begins to resonate in matching low frequency. The thought of him being close, maybe even about to enter and see me like this, scares me more than anything in the world. I don't know what I would do if Ryodan was here now.

I look at Dancer angered.

"Dude. We are leaving. Time to find a solution to your travel issue once for all and don't you even think of giving me that other me crap! It's offensive!"

He tenses.

"Offensive?!" His voice shakes a little. "Let me tell you what is offensive. Every bloody time, no matter what I do, what I say or how events happen – you always, always choose him."

My jaw drops and I stare at him speechless.

"Wha…"

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm saying, because this is offensive! Bugger it all, I thought that it's due to your young age, that you were easily impressed. And should you be a bit older – you would at last look at me and see me. Or at least remember me, for God's sake! I've tried everything! But every time Jada showed up, that bloody idiot chased her away. Even the Silvers didn't' help!"

My heart beat echoes dully in my chest. Suddenly, everything darkens around me and the only thing I see is the cold look of the person I faithfully loved with no reason. Person I did not know for even a second.

My voice shakes as I say:

"What do you mean even the Silvers didn't help…"

"You have no idea for how long I've been living this piece of time. Of your life. Again and again. I can't even name you the number of times I've met you all over again. How many times I get to know you. How many times I was not there on time to save you and watched how you…"

His voice drops.

"Every time I try to memorize what to do and how, to prevent things from happening. Things I don't want to happen. Eventually I learnt the important moments. When and where I need to be. What I need to say. How much space to give you. Hah, I think this time was one of the most successful once so far. Silvers were always a risky part, because I wasn't sure you would ever come back. But I tried everything else… they are my only chance! I let you spend more time with Ryodan, so he could prepare you. I had to be extremely precise and careful with my moves. Several times I couldn't get you back, after spending so much time with him. You'd just follow his lead and choose him, just like he'd wanted from the beginning. But this time… it was almost perfect. I didn't even dare to imagine such an outcome."

My mouth fills with bitter taste and almost makes me spit, before I whisper hoarsely:

"What outcome."

He beams at me with Dancer's eyes, and yet the only thing I see is excitement from his latest observation, another clue into what to do next time, with the next me.

"You. Coming back from the Silvers. All grown. At last. Dani. You have no idea how long I'd waited to see you like this. And the possibility of you being Jada…"

"What." my voice is bleak.

My ears are full. With each word the Dancer I know is dying more and more. And not only that. Dying, he also takes away from me every single bit of him, leaving a hollow, bottomless hole instead of the memories of him. I look at him through a hateful cape of wetness.

"The thought of you coming back as Jada, gave me hope for the first time in countless amounts of realms," his face is exhilarated, but I know it has nothing to do with me. "Not this time but… next, I hope."

I dig in nails in my palms and freeze at one spot, because if I don't, if I take even a single step towards him – I'm going to do something I will regret until the rest of my life… and my plate is already full on that account.

My voice is frosty and I almost keep the tremble in it under control:

"I was Jada for a very long time in the Silvers. And, believe me, not even once had she thought of a teenage failed experiment. Let me assure you, the only thought in her head was not you at all, but someone completely different. Someone, who … as impossible as it seems… you managed to surpass in artifice and manipulation."

Dancer's head is bent down and he denies nothing. I want to cry. I want to shake him, tell him to stop. I want him to tell me none of it true. I want to scream at him that this is us! And whatever happens, we will always find a way. And we will to get him out of this mess! And he shouldn't give up, and shouldn't just accept it. But the possibility of repeating word by word something my me-s have probably have been telling him hundreds of times, seals my lips dead. I look at him with both regret and detestation.

"Did you make it so I enter the Silvers."

He lifts eyes and looks into mine.

"It's not that simple. Everything is interconnected. One action changes everything…"

"Did you make it so I enter the Silvers!"

He gives me a short look and drops eyes again.

"I've been studying the chain of events for decades, Mega. I know your every move, in every possible situation. And of course this is only a small fraction of the infinite number of possible realms. The Silvers make it even harder to manipulate. But any other turn of events would just drive you away from me, closer to him. It had to be the Silvers! … The only problem is you never came back. Until now. Sometimes I had to wait for months until I'm sent to the re-set position and can begin all over again, and you never appeared. After such cases I usually kept you from the Silvers the next time I meet you… so we could catch up the lost time…"

"C-catch up?!" My teeth clatter. "Do you have any idea what you've let me go through! Dude!... You are… you… you are no friend of mine at all. In fact, congratulations. I think you just graduated into finally being what you were made to be. A fecking fae!"

"Mega…"

I slice the air between us with hand.

"Not a word more, Dancer. I. Don't. Want. To. Know. You. I don't want to see you! In fact I want to…"

I tighten my lips. Is he really going to do this to me, over and over again? Until he finally gets the version of me he wants? Can I really let him…?

"I can't die Mega. I just go back to the restart position." His gaze is apologetic. "I tried. Even with the sword..."

Suddenly I'm aware my face is fully wet. So is his. My heart hurts to the point of physical pain. I don't understand. Why is it supposed to be this way! Out of all possibilities – why does this one have to be the real one. Neither of us wants it.

I look at him and his shape is fuzzy from the tears in my eyes.

"Don't do that to me next time, Dancer. Just trust me, confide in me…"

His jaws ripple.

"I've tried this, Mega. For too long." The words barely escape through the clenched teeth. "You choose him every bloody time."

His face is unwavering. There is absolutely nothing I can tell him to change his mind. I doubt I would come up with something original, considering he probably heard thousands of versions of my answer.

Still I try. I swallow anger and resentment and dive deep in the place I normally keep locked. I look for all my love and trust towards the person in front of me, infuse them into every pour of my body. I let myself believe and hope that this is different. And it is real. And he would hear me. The me that is part of us. The only us that can ever exist.

"Dancer, please… for me…"

He slices head instantly.

"I can do only one thing for you, Mega." Wiping face, he stretches hand towards me. "I can get you out of here."