A/N: A big big big sorry for leaving it so long between updates. Life caught up with me and I had terrible writer's block. So feel free to leave some ideas in a review or PM of where you'd like this story to go. Hope you like the update, and hopefully it won't be 6 months before I update again! Thanks for sticking with me.
Just to recap on what's happened so far. Sam wrote Andy a letter to apologise for his actions and tell her he loves her. They made some good progress communicating but Andy asked him for some space until she can trust him again. Sam leaves her flat knowing that he's only got one more person to face - Nick.
'SWAREK' a shout came down the street. 'SWAREK' it called again. It was Collins, and by the sounds of things he'd come to settle the score before work. Sam peeled his curtains back and glanced outside to see Nick pacing the sidewalk opposite his house, waiting for him to come and face the music. He sighed. He deserved everything he got.
He slipped the latch of his door and peered out, calling for Nick to come inside as he did. The men sized each other up in the doorway, before Sam turned and led them out back to his garden. He could tell this wasn't going to be pretty, and he'd done a lot of work making the inside of his house look habitable recently.
'You know why I'm here,' Nick stated once they were stood in the centre of Sam's decking.
'Look Collins, I know I'm not your favourite person right now, and I've already heard how much of an asshole I am from Andy, so can we just cut to the chase. Say what you need to say and get out. I have to get to work.'
'You think it's that simple?'
'Isn't it? Yes, I slept with Gail. She instigated it. It was a mistake. I'm making things right with Andy, and I will take the time to apologise to you now. I'm sorry. Now say your piece or stand there all day, but I'm going to work whether you like it or not.'
He didn't get the chance to say much else because his breath was struck from his body by Nick's fists.
At the station the next morning Sam perched on the bench beneath his locker and took deep breaths while he lifted his arms and pulled his shirt on over his head. Nick had done a job on him, but he didn't get away unharmed either. Collins would be sporting an impressive bruise on his jaw, but fortunately for Sam, Nick had done him the favour of beating his ribs instead of his face, so he'd be able to hide it at work. Thank god for painkillers. Sam had no idea how he'd manage to manhandle a suspect if they fought back or tried to run though. He started praying for a quiet shift.
To make matters worse, Nick was assigned to work and ride with Sam that day on a task for the Ds. Bad luck. But it was about to get even more hellish, because when he looked up at the opening door he was confronted by an extremely angry McNally. 'You hit Nick?' she questioned. Sam sighed and nodded slowly. 'Why would you do that? You're the one in the wrong here Sam, not him.'
'Don't worry McNally, I am completely aware of how wrong my actions were. But I thought we were over the blame game now?'
'We were until I saw Nick's face. Why did you hit him?'
'He started it.'
'Seriously Sam? How old are you? Do you think this is funny? You sleep with his girlfriend and them you punch him in the face when you should be apologising?'
'I DID apologise Andy! And the only thing it got me was overfamiliarity with his fists and a date with some painkillers.'
'Well you don't look hurt.'
'So because I don't have a black eye and a bruised jaw you're assuming he didn't hurt me at all?' Sam huffed. 'I appreciate that you think I'm a bit of a badass, but the guy is ex-army McNally, he knows how to through a punch and keep it subtle.' He still hadn't moved from his spot on the bench, but to prove his point he stood slowly and gripped the hem of his shirt.
Andy quirked an eyebrow and waited for him to explain himself. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Sam lifted his shirt over his head and stood topless in front of the woman he loved, covered from left to right with ugly purple and blue splotches with angry red patches in between. She gasped at the sight.
'Sam' she choked. "I…'
'Don't. You didn't know. I don't deserve your sympathy, I deserve every single one of these bruises for hurting you, and every single sleepless night I'll have as a result of the pain. This is what I deserve.'
Andy nearly cried, he could tell. She took some deep steadying breaths before she spoke.
'No' she whispered, stepping forward to trail her fingertips feather-light across the worst of his ribs. 'As much as I hate what you did to me and Nick, you didn't deserve this. But I think he'll probably leave you alone now. He doesn't hold a grudge,' she said sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve in an unattractive yet endearing move.
Sam chuckled quietly. 'He's gonna have a hard time leaving me alone if we're in the same squad car all day.' He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on with a loud hiss that caused Andy to whimper lightly.
'You shouldn't be working if you're in this much pain Sam.'
'I didn't show you so you could tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. It's not that bad, I can handle it. And you will not tell Best.'
He pushed past her gently and left the room.
Andy caught up with him as he was heading out of the break room with a coffee in hand.
'I don't think you should be riding with him today.'
'Oh really? Think we're gonna wait until we're alone so we can stop somewhere and go a few more rounds with no one to intervene?'
Andy huffed. She'd pulled herself together since the locker room. No more tears, she promised herself. 'No. It's just…..I…Maybe…' she struggled to find the right words.
'Spit it out, Andy'
'I don't trust him to keep you safe out there' she said quietly.
Sam sighed. 'Look Sweetheart, I'm a big boy. I can handle myself, I proved that when I whacked him back. You don't need to worry about me. I can deal with Collins. Besides, you worked with him for six months on Dakota and never had a problem trusting him. I'm sure I'll be fine.'
At that moment Nick came out from the locker room down the hall and headed towards them, just in time to hear Andy's next words.
'Yeah well I trusted him when we were stressed undercover and he held a gun to my head, so I'm a little unsure if I should trust him today.'
'He WHAT?' Sam growled.
'It doesn't matter now. All I'm saying is, can you please request a squad change, just for today. I know I asked you for space, and this is probably me crowding you and not the other way around, but as much as I might not like you right now, I still love you. And I need to know you're going be safe out there.'
'Andy' Nick probed from behind her. She turned to face him and saw the anguish in his eyes from her little confession.
'You don't trust me?' He questioned. 'He cheats on you the night you go under, and it's me you don't trust?'
'Nick,' Andy's voice wavered, 'you pulled the trigger. I love you like a brother, and you're one of my best friends. But you're hurting right now. And you pulled the trigger Nick. How am I supposed to know you won't do it again? You hate him' she said gesturing at Sam.
Sam was stood stock still, trying to respect Andy's control on the situation, but clenching his fists to keep himself from punching the asshole in front of him again. So he'd slept with Gail. He'd broken some hearts - that much was true. He'd never felt guiltier about anything in his life. But he had never, and would never, put a gun to Andy's head and pull the trigger. Processing that Collins had done that and still had the audacity to stand next to the woman he loves was seriously testing his self-restraint.
'Maybe it's not such a good idea for us to ride together' he growled at Nick. 'I don't know if I could keep from pulling the trigger myself after that revelation.'
Nick scoffed. 'You wouldn't have the balls man.'
'Just stop!' Andy pleaded getting in between them. 'I don't want either of you getting hurt more than you already are. So just trade squads and we can discuss this calmly after work. Please' she begged them both.
Sam and Nick stared each other down for a few moments longer before taking some steps back.
'I'll go ask Dov to Swap' Nick said with only a hint of calm in his voice.
As Nick disappeared down the corridor Andy reached out for Sam's clenched fists and settled her hands over them.
'Come round after work?'
'Andy,' Sam warned, 'You wanted me to give you space yesterday. And now you want me to come over? I need you to give me some clear signals here. Am I leaving you alone, or spending time with you, because I don't have the strength to puzzle this out right now.'
'I'm sorry,' she sighed. 'This is hard for all of us. It's just that, you always make me feel safe, and I…..I want to do that for you too,' she admitted timidly. 'So will you come over later and let me look after you? I can't handle anything more than friends with you right now, but I meant what I said. I love you. I just need time. But I can't spend that time without you in my life at all because you're such a big part of it. I need you too much.' She looked at her feet as she said it, only raising her eyes after a long pause that Sam didn't fill with an answer.
'So will you come round? Please?' She met his eyes when she pleaded. Sam held eye contact for a long time, focussing on her soft fingers encouraging his hands out of fists by rubbing gentle circle on his knuckles. He took a deep breath.
'Okay.' He caught hold of her fingers and ran his hands up her arms, drawing her into a tight hug. 'Friends' he whispered into her ear with his face buried in her hair. 'For now'.
'For now' she echoed.
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