Chapter 6
Bella
I hurried home, hoping that Edward had had a decent day at the apartment. He had seemed so nervous this morning, but I didn't want to hover, so I'd resisted the urge to check on him all day.
I opened the lock, expecting to find him on the couch or sitting at my laptop. The living room was empty, and the apartment was eerily quiet. I tensed for a moment, wondering if I should have left him here alone his first day away from the hospital. I shook my head to banish the thought. Edward was a big boy. I was sure he was fine. Maybe he was just taking a nap.
I proceeded down the hallway toward the bedroom, but never made it there. I froze at the scene before me as I peered into the bathroom.
Edward was sitting on the floor, wearing the sleep pants and t-shirt he'd slept in, his legs out straight toward me because of the splint. His upper body was curled onto the side of the tub, his head resting on the top of the tub wall a few inches from the toilet bowl. He was fast asleep.
"Oh, Edward," I murmured, wondering just how hellish his day had been.
I slid along the wall beside him, stooping down in the tight space when I reached his shoulder. I laid a hand there and gently whispered, "Edward."
He startled, pulling the arm he had been resting on over his face and grunting. "Bella?"
"Yes, I'm here," I replied.
"Migraine. Can you…turn off the light?" he asked in a small voice.
"Oh, sure," I stammered, shimmying out from beside him and flipping the switch. I should have guessed and done that before I woke him. I had never seen him when he had a migraine, but I knew they happened pretty frequently. I didn't know that they were this bad, though.
"Thanks," he mumbled.
"Have you been here all day?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.
"I don't know. What time is it?" he asked, dropping his arm a little so I could see his face. His forehead and eyebrows were now scrunched tightly. I bit my lip, imagining how much he was hurting.
"It's five thirty."
"Shit! I'm sorry, Bella. You shouldn't have to deal with this," he said, tucking his chin a little tighter to his chest.
"It's not your fault, Edward. You can't control when you get a migraine," I reasoned.
"It's my fault that you have to deal with it," he mumbled to himself, but I heard him loud and clear.
"Hey, remember that talk we had last night?"
"No," he replied sulkily.
"Liar," I shot back. "That's pretty low, trying to use your memory problems to your advantage," I chastised him.
"At least it's good for something," he grumbled. I could see that he wasn't in the mood for teasing.
"Have you taken anything for the pain?" I asked, getting back to the business at hand.
"No," he replied. "It came over me pretty suddenly—I was lucky to make it in here. And once I got down on the floor, there was no way I was going anywhere."
Fuck! I cursed myself for not thinking about this more and at least running home at lunchtime to check on him.
"Come on. Let's put you to bed, and then I'll go and get you your medication," I told him.
"Bella, I—"
"Edward, you're hurting right now. Anything you have to tell me can wait until tomorrow, okay? Let's just get you taken care of."
He huffed out a breath, and I saw the corner of his mouth raise a bit under his arm. He sat up slowly, his hand spanning his temples and pressing tightly into them.
"Fuck!" he swore. "Why does it have to hurt so goddamned much?"
Between the two of us, we somehow managed to get him to his feet, a crutch under one arm and my shoulder under the other. Thankfully, it was a short distance to the bedroom, and as I sat him on the edge of the bed, he immediately lay down and tried to curl in on himself.
"Can you…help me take the splint off?" he asked weakly. "I can't lie on my back, or I'll get too dizzy and end up being sick again."
"Of course," I told him, removing it as quickly and gently as I could.
He immediately curled up into a ball on his side, and my heart ached for him. I hated to see him like this. "I'll go get you a drink and your meds," I told him, but he didn't answer, not that I really expected him to.
By the time I got back, he was asleep again, and I didn't have the heart to wake him. His forehead was relaxed, the strain of the last few minutes completely erased. His face was breathtaking in sleep, the curve of his jaw softened, the day's worth of stubble making it look softer still. I longed to caress his cheek to see if the hair was as soft as it looked, but I didn't dare risk disturbing him. I ghosted my hand over his unruly hair, and he exhaled heavily. I sighed and headed to the kitchen to heat myself some leftovers.
I checked on Edward again before I went to bed. As I opened the door a crack, all I could see was a bit of reddish-brown hair peeking over the top of the comforter, and I could hear his even breathing. At least he wasn't in any pain. I noticed that the pills I had left for him were gone, so I put another dose out and refilled the water glass I'd left him. Hopefully, he'd just sleep through the night.
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Edward
I woke up slowly, listening to the muffled sound of a hairdryer and wondering where the hell I was. I slowly opened my eyes and saw an old oak dresser with a jewelry box and perfume bottles. I was at Bella's. Shit! And I'd had a migraine and Bella had put me to bed—her bed. Shit shit shit! This was wrong. I should never have come here. Already I was being a pain in the ass, and I'd just gotten here!
I pushed myself up from the mattress, swaying a little as I righted myself. I was lightheaded and a little dizzy, but at least the awful pounding in my head had stopped. I drew in a sharp breath as I slid myself back to lean against the headboard, my ribs and my knee both protesting at the movement. I was pretty sure I hadn't had any pain meds in a while, and I could certainly tell. I remembered now that Bella had helped me take off the splint so I could lie on my side and that sometime during the night, I had rolled over and twisted my still-unstable knee. I threw the blanket off my leg to see how bad the swelling was, and I wasn't surprised to see that my knee was about twice its normal size. Great. It was not going to be a good day. At least maybe I could get myself put together before Bella came home.
The door opened quietly, just enough so Bella could peer in, and she smiled when she saw me. It just got worse, I thought, throwing the blanket back over my leg.
I was still a bit disoriented from being asleep for so long, and I glanced at the clock again, trying to figure out if she should be home or not.
"Hi, Edward. How are you feeling?" she asked, smiling as she put her head a little farther into the room.
"Better. Is it…Friday?" I said, leaning my head back against the wall and closing my eyes.
"Yes. It's about ten in the morning on Friday," she replied.
"Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I took the day off," she said casually.
I froze. "You did what?" I demanded, snapping my head up to stare at her.
"I decided to stay home today. I was ready for the weekend," she explained, steadily meeting my gaze.
"Bella, you can't be taking off work because of me!" I said miserably, unable to meet her eyes. Of course she'd taken the day because she was worried about me and didn't want to leave me alone. I could feel the heat on my neck and cheeks. I was already disrupting her life, and I hadn't even been here forty‑eight hours!
"Edward, I wasn't going to leave you alone like that," she declared, her eyes daring me to argue.
"I should never have come here," I muttered, running my hand through my hair anxiously.
I heard an exasperated huff, but when she spoke her voice was gentle. "I'd like to think we're friends now, aren't we?" she asked, walking into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Yes," I replied distractedly, although I truly had no idea why she would want to be my friend.
"Well, friends help each other, and I thought you needed help today," she said sincerely.
"But Bella—"I tried to argue, but she cut me off.
"Edward, you have enough trouble with your memory and your other injuries. Please don't borrow any more by worrying about me helping you. I want to help you, if I can. That's why I asked you to come here instead of letting you go off on your own. You're not completely healed yet, and you're going to need help. Will you please let me give it to you without freaking out about it? I'm a big girl, and I knew what I signed up for when I asked you to stay here. I knew there would be things you'd need help with, and I'm willing to do whatever is needed because I'm your friend. Please?"
She gazed at me, her expressive brown eyes saying much more than her words as she silently pleaded with me to relax and let it go.
I was angry and frustrated, not at what she'd done, but at the need for it. I was so tired of feeling helpless and dependent and not having anyone close to me who I felt comfortable relying on. She was the closest thing I had to a friend…
"I'm not comfortable with it, but I'll…try," I said hesitantly, my anxiety level still high.
"That's all I'm asking for," she replied, smiling as she reached forward and touched the top of my hand. Her soft fingers sent a jolt down my spine, and I met her eyes, wondering if she'd felt it too.
"So," she began, "let's start over. Since you're feeling better, do you want to get up and have something to eat?"
"Yes, I'm starving," I answered, trying hard not to think about the fact that until I got my act together, Bella was paying all of my expenses.
"Good," she said, sliding off the bed and retrieving my splint.
"You're not gonna be happy," I mumbled, throwing the blanket back off my leg and revealing my very swollen knee.
"Wow," she exclaimed as she turned around, frowning down at me. "Well, let's get you to the couch, and we can ice that while you eat."
Thankfully, I was able to make it down the hallway on my crutches without too much trouble, and Bella settled me with my leg propped up on the couch before going to get me a bag of ice and a bagel.
"What did you do yesterday morning?" she asked as she handed me my breakfast and set out to ice my knee.
"Well, your father came by not long after you left," I said, and the look on her face made the words die on my lips.
"My father?" she repeated, and I nodded. "Came here."
"Yes. He stopped by to give me an update on the investigation," I explained, but her gaze remained stony.
"I'm sure," she said, crossing her arms. "What else did he say?"
"He asked how I was doing and if I had remembered anything," I told her, carefully leaving out that he'd also told me he was "keeping an eye on me". She was upset enough as it was.
"And?" she prompted.
"And I think that was it. He wasn't here that long."
And that had pretty much been my morning. The migraine had hit about fifteen minutes later, and that was it for my day.
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Bella
Son of a bitch! I couldn't believe that my dad had the brass cajones to come over here and visit Edward the day after he got out of the hospital! I knew there was more to the conversation than Edward was telling me, and I had a pretty good idea that that conversation had been partially to blame for Edward's migraine the day before. We would be having words about this…as soon as Edward wasn't around.
Edward took a shower, and then we spent the afternoon just lying around and watching TV together. I could tell he still wasn't recovered from his migraine—he looked pale, and he dozed off a few times as the afternoon went on, despite all the sleep he'd gotten. At least the swelling in his knee went down after icing it off and on all afternoon. We had a quiet dinner, and he headed to bed immediately afterwards. He looked completely worn out as he said good night to me. I hoped tomorrow would be better for him.
And now, it was time to give it to my dad for his little stunt the morning before. I was still seething over his interference. Stupid alpha male testosterone-fueled crap!
I pulled out my cell and angrily dialed him, and when he picked up, I didn't even give him the chance to say hello.
"You came here to threaten Edward when I wasn't around?" I accused immediately.
"Well hello, Bells…"
I didn't respond, waiting for him to answer my question. He huffed into the phone.
"No, of course I didn't threaten him. I stopped by to talk to him about the investigation."
"Bullshit, Dad, I asked you to stay out of this!" I yelled, my anger rising.
"Oh, come on, Bells. I was just looking out for you! I didn't lay a hand on him."
"You didn't have to," I muttered, recalling what I'd found when I came home yesterday.
"What?"
"Nevermind, Dad. Just leave him alone, okay? He's got enough problems without you breathing down his neck. We'll be fine."
"We?" he said incredulously. "When did you become a 'we'?"
"I didn't mean it like that," I said quickly, glad he wasn't here to see me blush. "I just meant him staying here with me. He just needs a little time to sort things out and a little help. Promise me you won't mess with him again."
I heard him sigh. "Okay, I'll leave him alone. For now."
"Thanks, Dad, you're a real peach," I said as I hung up the phone.
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I was sitting at the kitchen table around nine in the morning the next day when I heard the bedroom door open. A little while later, Edward appeared at the end of the hallway, clad in gray sweats and a white t-shirt. He looked much better than he had the day before, showered and clean-shaven, his hair tousled as if it was freshly towel-dried. He'd been so under the weather that I hadn't thought about how hot he was in a few days, but it hit me full-force as he gave me an almost bashful smile. My stomach fluttered, and I put a hand on the seat of the chair to steady myself.
"Hi," he said a little nervously.
I frowned a bit at his hesitancy. "Good morning. Would you like some coffee?"
His eyes lit up as he glanced at my steaming cup. "Yes, please," he enthused, hobbling toward the kitchen. I let him pour and doctor it himself, only offering to carry it from the counter to the table for him. He glanced downward as I did it, but said nothing. It was progress.
"So, what are you doing today?" he asked as he sipped his coffee and nibbled at the blueberry muffin I had offered him.
That was a good question. My last two weekends, I had gone to visit him at the hospital, and before that, I hadn't done much of anything for a few weeks. It had been two months since I'd broken up with my last boyfriend, Riley, and I hadn't really gotten back into the swing of life since then. So I turned the tables back on him.
"I'm not sure. What are you doing today?"
He cocked his head, pondering the question. "I don't know. I haven't really had many options before today…" He dropped his gaze to the cup in his hands. "But I don't want to interfere with your plans. Just pretend I'm not here."
I chuckled, and as I looked at his pained expression, I laughed out loud.
"Edward, I am not going to pretend you're not here."
"Why not?" he demanded.
"Because I like that you're here," I said without thinking.
He raised an eyebrow at me.
"I—I mean…" I stuttered, blushing bright crimson. "Oh hell, why don't I just quit while I'm behind! Do you want to come for a ride with me? I have a few errands to run, and I thought you might like a tour of Forks—not that that will take more than five minutes…"
He smirked, still studying his cup, and then raised his bright green eyes to meet mine. "Sure. I could use to get out a bit. I've been inside too much these last few weeks."
He went and changed into jeans and his blue t-shirt, and we headed into town in my truck. He looked around as we drove, taking in the single main street of Forks, with its quaint little shops and Saturday morning farmer's market.
"Wow, this really is a small town, isn't it?" he observed as we pulled up in front of the drug store.
I grinned at him. "I believe the word you're searching for is 'charming'."
He laughed, a sound I hadn't heard in quite a few weeks. It sent a warm thrill down my spine that pooled in my stomach, just as it had the last time. I tore my gaze away from his face to take the keys from the ignition so I could hide my giddy smile.
"Do you want to wait here while I run into the drugstore, then maybe we can walk through the market a bit?"
He glanced down at his splinted leg, seeming to acknowledge that he'd just slow me down and he probably shouldn't be on his feet that much. "Sure," he replied. "That sounds good."
I hurried through my purchases at the drugstore, and when I came out, I was surprised to see that the truck was empty. I put my bag in through the window and glanced around. There was Edward, sitting on a bench about a half a block down, head thrown back as he basked in a patch of sunlight, his eyes closed and a wide grin on his face. Again, I wondered who the real Edward was. This was another one of those moments where I could see that there was a person with a whole other life trapped inside of him and that the circumstances were dictating the hesitancy and uncertainty I saw in him. In his other life, he was a confident man, self-possessed and maybe even a little cocky. I hoped that someday, he'd be that person again, because I wanted to meet him.
I walked over and stood next to the bench, blocking his sunlight. He threw a hand over his eyes to glance up at me, and I saw his confidence retreat a bit.
"Your truck isn't exactly comfortable while wearing a splint from your ankle to your thigh," he explained.
"I'll bet it's not," I told him. "Shall we?"
We walked through the farmer's market—just a collection of pickups backed up to the sidewalk, selling their fruit and produce off their tailgates. We actually attracted quite a bit of attention—new faces were rare in Forks, so a strange, handsome man on crutches was bound to draw some stares, especially when walking with a hometown girl. No one said anything, but a few of the younger girls flashed Edward brilliant smiles, and he grinned back, looking slightly confused. I didn't think he really had any idea how attractive he has. Of course, he'd had more important things on his mind in the last few weeks…
We bought fresh fruits and veggies for the week, and as we got to the end of the block, we ran into Alice and Jasper, just starting to walk through the market from the opposite side.
"Bella!" Alice squealed, jumping me from behind and almost pulling me over.
"Hey, Alice. What are you doing here?" I asked as I disentangled myself, laughing at her usual level of enthusiasm.
"Oh, the same as you," she replied sunnily, suddenly noticing that Edward was standing beside me. "Well hello, Edward! It's so good to see you out and about!" she exclaimed, beaming at him.
"Thanks, Alice," he replied a little uncomfortably, clearly discomfited at seeing her outside the hospital.
"Hey, Edward," Jasper piped in, extending his hand toward him.
Edward smiled at him, taking his hand from his crutch to grasp Jasper's.
"Oh, Edward. You're not my patient anymore, or Jasper's, so relax!" said Alice, immediately sensing the tension in the air and setting out to diffuse it.
Edward glanced up at her quickly, but grinned and relaxed his shoulders a bit. I didn't think he'd realized that he was telegraphing his anxiety.
"Hey, we're going to Tyler's tonight. Why don't you guys join us?" Alice asked, and when neither of us responded, she added, "Come on, it'll be fun!"
"I probably shouldn't," Edward said hesitantly, and again, I thought of all those weeks he'd spent in the hospital, not able to do anything but wait for himself to heal so he could begin an uncertain future. He needed a little time to relax, maybe even enjoy himself a bit.
"Why don't we go, Edward? We don't have to stay out late," I encouraged, meeting the uncertainty in his gaze with calm and confidence.
He stared at me for a moment, then he relented. "Sure, that sounds like fun. Thanks for inviting me," he said politely.
"Great! We'll see you guys there around seven o'clock!" Alice enthused, winking at me as she turned her head so Edward wouldn't see her.
I shook my head, afraid to even guess what she was up to.
We hung around the house for the rest of the day, and Edward went to lie down for a few hours in the afternoon, saying he had a headache. I had to remind myself that he'd just gotten out the hospital three days ago and he was still recovering from a serious brain injury. Maybe I had pushed him too hard in suggesting that we go out that night. My fears were dispelled, however, when he came to the kitchen around dinnertime. He was now wearing a black t-shirt with his jeans, and he looked…amazing. The thin cotton just defined the muscles on his chest, and somehow the black accentuated the red highlights in his hair. He would attract a lot of attention at the bar tonight, I was sure of it. He grinned at me, looking refreshed and ready to go in comparison to earlier this afternoon. Maybe we could have a nice evening…
By the time we got to Tyler's, the place was already hopping. A loud band was playing on the stage, and it was difficult to maneuver through the crowd, especially for Edward. We finally found Alice and Jasper ensconced at a table near the back, beer already in hand.
"Yay!" Alice yelled as we sat down, squeezing our way into the round booth next to her and Jasper.
I grinned at Alice before turning to Edward. "What would you like?" I asked.
He looked down quickly, his lips making a thin line. "I'm fine. I probably shouldn't drink anyway."
Goddammit! I'd forgotten that he was still on a hefty dose of Percocet and he'd already taken it today. He also didn't need to be any more unsteady on his feet, given that he was already on crutches. I had hoped that we could just have a few beers and relax. Fuck! Why hadn't I thought this through? I also wondered if he was hesitating because I would be the one buying the drinks. Augh, what a mess!
I smiled at him apologetically and asked Jasper to run and get me a beer, since Edward was on the outside and obviously he couldn't do it. Edward looked away for a moment, but when he turned back toward me, he was smiling, although it looked a little forced.
Alice chatted away to me about the local gossip and her patients at work, and Jasper chimed in when patients that we all had in common came up. Edward listened politely, but he really didn't have anything to contribute to the conversation. The conversation switched to current movies and the upcoming outdoor concert at Forks High School, and again, Edward was lost from the conversation. By this point, he wasn't even feigning paying attention, his eyes roving over the other people in the bar, taking in all the happy couples and conversations around him. He was clearly not having a good time, and I had absolutely no idea how to fix that. I had wanted him to come out so we could include him in something and make him feel more at home, but it had only served to further isolate him. I was angry at myself for my lack of thoughtfulness. This was a bad idea and I should have seen that.
"Hey, Bella, I forgot to tell you that I ran into Mike Newton the other day," Jasper said. "He mentioned that his main daytime clerk had quit and that he was looking for someone to replace her. I thought that might be a good job for Edward, since he'd probably be able to sit down most of the time."
Edward looked toward Jasper at the sound of his name, but he'd obviously not heard a word he'd said.
"That sounds like a great idea, Jasper!" I answered. I turned toward Edward. "Jasper just said that our friend Mike might have a job for you. He owns the local sporting goods store, and his daytime clerk just quit. He always hires college kids through the summer, so he mainly needs someone responsible to sit behind the register and watch over things. That sounds like it might be perfect for you while your knee is still healing. What do you think?"
Edward thought for a moment, and then he truly smiled at me for the first time since we entered the bar. "That sounds wonderful!" he agreed. "Do you really think he'd hire me?"
"Sure he would!" Jasper told him. "He's a friend of ours, and we'll certainly put in a good word for you."
Edward ducked his head and mumbled, "Thanks, Jasper," unable to meet his eyes for a moment. When he looked up again, he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Good," I said. "I'll call Mike tomorrow and see if we can go meet with him sometime this week."
At around eleven, I decided we should call it a night. Edward looked exhausted, and his melancholy mood was beginning to rub off on me. We said our goodbyes to Alice and Jasper, and made our way out of the bar and back to my truck.
"Are you okay to drive?" he asked distractedly.
I'd only had two beers over four hours, but I was surprised that he'd made the effort to ask. Most guys that I knew wouldn't have.
"Yes, I'm fine," I assured him as I closed the truck door. I took a deep breath and looked toward him as he settled himself on the seat. "Edward, I'm sorry about tonight. I wanted us to go out and have a good time. Maybe it was too soon."
He glanced over at me sadly. "I know. I'm sorry I wasn't much fun tonight. I…this is much harder than I thought it would be," he admitted.
I didn't know if he meant tonight, or being at my place, or just being out of the hospital, but I wasn't going to ask him to clarify.
"It'll get easier, I promise," I reassured him. "It just takes time."
He covered his face with his hands, sliding them down over his mouth, before finally folding them in front of him as he took a deep breath. "I know," he whispered impatiently as I started up the truck.
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Edward
It had been a long evening at the bar, and I was sore and tired. I should never have agreed to go, but I had been hoping that it would help me relax a bit. Instead, it had done the exact opposite. I was still out of sync with everyone else, and I didn't know how to have a normal conversation. So much of who I was and what I knew was behind the dark shroud in my mind that there wasn't enough for me to draw on to relate to people. I had listened to Bella and her friends talk, but I'd had nothing to contribute, and eventually, I got bored and started watching the people around me.
They were having fun—a group of guys laughing and joking at the next table, eyeing up the girls over at the bar, a couple kissing at the back of the dance floor, oblivious to everyone around them—I had to have memories like this somewhere in my head. What had I done for fun, and who had I done it with? I had to find a way to force the situation with my memory and get my life back. I was tired of feeling this awkward and uncomfortable, and tired of being a drag on everyone around me. Poor Bella, she had tried so hard to include me, but I just wasn't includable right now. I sighed and stared at the table in front of me, until I heard Jasper say my name.
"That sounds like a great idea, Jasper!" Bella was saying. She turned toward me, completely aware that I hadn't heard a word Jasper had said. "Jasper just said that our friend Mike might have a job for you. He owns the local sporting goods store, and his daytime clerk just quit. He always hires college kids through the summer, so he mainly needs someone responsible to sit behind the register and watch over things. That sounds like it might be perfect for you while your knee is still healing. What do you think?"
I thought about it for a moment. This would get me some income so I could help Bella with expenses, and it sounded easy enough that I could do it despite not being a hundred percent. It sounded perfect! I gave her a genuine smile. "That sounds wonderful!" I agreed. "Do you really think he'd hire me?"
"Sure he would!" Jasper said. "He's a friend of ours, and we'll certainly put in a good word for you."
Jasper's words hit me like a blow. Although I was grateful, Jasper had no reason to put in a good word for me—I'd been nothing but an asshole to him when he'd worked with me in the clinic. Another case of someone being nice to me just because they could. I didn't know where I came from, but wherever it was, I wasn't accustomed to getting something for nothing. I ducked my head and mumbled, "Thanks, Jasper," unable to meet his eyes. I berated myself for my behavior and forced myself to look up at him and smile in thanks.
"Good," Bella said. "I'll call Mike tomorrow and see if we can go meet with him sometime this week."
At least one good thing had come out of the evening.
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A/N: Poor Edward! You knew it wasn't going to be easy, didn't you? Too much stress and not enough memories for him to connect with people. It'll get better though…eventually. I promise! Hang in there!
Also, HTF is up for fic of the week over at The Lemonade Stand this week. Yay! If you're enjoying it, please go vote for it here:
tehlemonadestand. blogspot. ca/?zx=b22aeda240736b11 (Remove the spaces after the periods when you copy the url and it will work!)
Lastly, I finally looked at the calendar for posting, and discovered that I want to get a certain chapter posted by a certain date, which I'll explain later. But in order to do that, I'm going to need to post 3 chapters a week next week and the following week. If RL doesn't interfere, I'm hoping to post on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays for the next 2 weeks. So, more HTF for you sooner! Yay!
Love and kisses to my team: OcSickGirl, Beffers87, drotuno, JenRar, and JulesLovestoread.
