Last night.

"Other people have people here." Jackie's leg bounced up and down as she eyed the other engaged couples, who were chatting with their friends and family in the waiting room of the chapel. The crowd had thinned out considerably since they'd first arrived, which meant that the moment of truth was fast approaching. Faster than she'd like. "Is it weird that we don't have anybody here? I feel like it's weird."

Jackie pulled the ends of his fingers to get his attention.

Hyde's arm dangled lazily around her shoulders, his thumb grazing the side of her arm. "Why? Did you invite somebody I'm unaware of?"

"God, no!" she said, a little too loudly, starling the passed out groom dozing across the aisle from them.

Why was she so keyed up? Wasn't this supposed to be a happy occasion?

Her leg continued to bounce until he stilled it with his hand. "We barely have anybody between us who'd care, and the few who would...it would not be in the way we'd want them to."

"Right. I forgot how few people actually give a shit that I exist, and the fewer who think you and I are a good idea. Thanks for pointing it out." Jackie could feel her face starting to flush with heat and she fended off the drunkard's morose that clung to the edges of her mood. She hoped it was the booze or the thick stench of cheap cologne in the air that was making her eyes water and her stomach roll, and not the impending promise of fidelity and love to a man she'd been back with less than five hours.

The blowzy woman at the cashier's stand leaned back in her chair and snapped her gum loudly as she flipped to the next page on her clipboard. "Hyde and Burkhart. You all are up next."

Like a racehorse just out of the gate, Jackie's pulse took off in a flat gallop. "Oh God. Oh shit. This is...this is wrong, Steven."

Her hand reached under her chair and grappled for the mostly-gone magnum of champagne he'd hidden away from her. Hyde's nostrils flared as he watched her frantic search. "You haven't had enough?"

"Huh?" She was distracted by her quest. Processing words and phrases would just have to wait until she felt the chill of the smooth glass beneath her fingertips. The bottle nearly toppled over as it connected with her palm. "Oh thank God." She brought it to her lips and took a long swig, willing the liquid to soothe her nerves as it did her throat.

Was this the dumbest decision on her life? Possibly. She reminded herself that they didn't live in Vatican City. Marriages could be undone. It wasn't forever, even if every fiber of her being wanted it to be.

"Should I be offended that you don't consider yourself tanked enough to marry me?" Hyde's face was soft and open, but she could see his jaw tensing behind his stubble.

Would he be a good husband? Was he even capable? Why had she not bothered asking herself these questions four shots of tequila ago?

Maybe she would have, if she weren't having too much fun with him to bother coming up with any meaningful answers?

"It's not that..." She twisted anxiously in her chair as if she were looking for a lost earring. Anything to avoid his hot glare. "I think maybe I'm just worried I'm doing this for the wrong reasons. You know, because dying alone doesn't really hold that much appeal for me." She quickly took another sip, mortified that she'd just said voiced one of her darkest fears aloud.

When did she become a character in a Woody Allen film?

Hyde's head swiveled in her direction looking equal parts aggravated and empathetic. "You're not going to die alone. Even if this doesn't pan out -which it will - you've got guys lined up around the block waiting for a chance to get a crack at you."

Jackie closed her eyes and wore a beatific smile. "Hmm. It sounds so romantic when you put it that way..."

"Come on! You know what I'm saying." He took the bottle from her hands and helped himself. "Smart ass."

"Alright, it's true. Obviously, I can find a guy. I mean, look at me." She smoothed the wrinkles from her material of her pink satin dress. "That doesn't mean I won't be alone though."

He took another sip and then moved to pass the champagne back to her, but changed his mind and took another hit off the bottle. "Can I get that in English?"

"Even when you're surrounded by people, it can still feel very lonely, Steven. In fact, I think being surrounded by people you know couldn't care less about you is actually lonelier than just being by yourself." Jackie turned away embarrassed, and juggled the rings in her hand like Baoding balls. "I know that from experience."

She didn't have to elaborate. The details of their breakup hung in the air like a lead balloon.

"I guess I get what you mean." A flicker of regret shadowed his face as he lifted the heavy bottle to his mouth one more time and gulped most of the contents down.

Maybe she wasn't the only one having doubts? Jackie wondered why they called it cold feet, when the only thing on her that felt remotely cold was the sheen of 'glow' starting to form on her brow.

"And people say I'm an enigma." Hyde looked ahead.

Jackie stifled a laugh with the back of her hand. "Who says that?"

"People..." His hackles peeked out from behind his Zen.

Jackie scoffed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "People who don't know you, maybe."

"That's most people, Jackie." He caressed her collarbone with his thumb and she leaned into the motion. "Actually, pretty much all people. Except for Forman, maybe. And you."

She studied his features thoughtfully, though she hardly needed to. After two years of watching him sleep beside her, she knew every plane and crevice of his face like a well-worn map.

She knew that Steven could never eat when he was anxious about something. She could always tell when he was thinking up a particularly devious burn by the way he eagerly rubbed his hands against the sides of his jeans. And even without even trying, she could conjure in her mind the slow-eyed stare he turned out whenever he was thinking about her naked.

Hyde was no mystery. Not to her, at least.

"Well, you seem very transparent to me."

"Yeah." His hand slid down her thigh to cup her knee. "I know."

The tingling in her stomach took a detour South.

He shrugged, displaying the tight-mouthed, bastard's smile he often used when he wanted to get people to stop harassing him. "I'm sick of having to explain myself to the masses."

"Wait - what masses?" For as much as she'd had to drink, she couldn't help but be confused. "Jeez, you're not that complicated. Get over yourself."

'What's New Pussycat?' piped in over the speakers, forcing Jackie's head into her hands. "Remind me why I picked this venue again?"

"Uh...you said you wanted the complete opposite of anything you'd ever really want for your wedding."

"I did?" She turned to face him with a creased brow. "Why would I say that?"

Hyde snorted a laugh. "I don't know why you say half the shit you do, Jackie. Maybe you wanted to see if you could make it bad enough for me not to go through with it?"

She lifted her chin and took in the scene. The lavender stucco walls of the waiting room were lined with chairs, filled with 'reformed' escorts, burnt-out gamblers, and the remaining dregs that society had to offer. High above the fray was a velvet portrait of the chapel's namesake, lording over the room like a rhinestone-covered Jesus, his hips thrust forward as a blessing to his flock and gimlet eyes piercing the depths of their damaged souls.

The aftertaste of champagne turned sour on Jackie's tongue. "If that's the case, I did an amazing job."

"Not too amazing. I'm still here." Hyde peered at her through his peripheral vision.

Pussycat, Pussycat
I've got flowers
And lots of hours
To spend with you.
So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!

Jackie's attention perked up at the strange lyrics. "What on Earth is this song supposed to be about?"

Hyde cocked his right ear toward the speakers to listen more carefully. "Dunno, but it sure sounds like he likes pussy."

A frown erupted on her face as her eyes fell to the palm of his hand, resting on her knee like it had earned the right to be there. His hand suddenly felt like it weighed a ton.

She couldn't breathe. "I-uh..."

Pussycat, Pussycat
You're so thrilling
And I'm so willing
To care for you.
So go and make up your cute little pussycat face!

"This shit sounds weirder the more I drink." Hyde finished off the champagne and set the bottle at his feet. "They should probably just hand these yokels bottles of hooch on the way in. You know, for the unwilling." He gestured at Larry-in-the-tacky-suit, who was in the process of being dressed down by his fiancee for yet another transgression. The man hung his head low and took the abuse with a stoic mien. "Marriage, man. Can't you just feel the love?"

Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat face!

Did he truly want to marry her, or was this just a last ditch attempt to get her back? Was he referring to himself when he talked about the 'unwilling'?

Pulling herself to stand on weedy legs, Jackie braced her swaying form against the wall. The uneven peaks of cheap stucco paint dug sharply into her hands. "I don't..."

Hyde's face pinched as he watched her make her way to the front of the room. "Hey, where are you going?"

"I..." She cradled her forehead with her hand and ambled toward the exit of the chapel without looking back. "I'm not desperate, you know."

Hyde's eyes widened and he shot up after her in a panic. "Woah. Wait a minute, Jackie." He reached the door a second before she did, effectively blocking off her escape. "What just happened?"

The rough-hewn blonde at the front was staring at them openly now, finally taking an interest in the drama after tuning out their earlier performance.

Jackie forced herself not to cry. This whole experience was embarrassing enough as it was, she didn't need to add puffy eyes to the humiliation. "You don't have to marry me just to prove a point."

"When did I say I was doing that?" He was starting to get aggressive, as he always did when she accused him of something unjust. "I know you've been hitting the bottle pretty hard tonight, doll, but I think you're starting to hear things."

"It's not what you said, Steven, it's what you didn't say."

"Jesus Christ." Both of his hands sunk into his curly mop and he tugged at his own hair lightly. "You haven't changed at all, have you? You still bitch when things aren't exactly the way you want them to be. I'm sorry, can you at least give me a copy of the script? What 'exactly' did you want me to say?"

"I -"

"Why can't you ever just 'be'?"

His accusation cut her to the quick. Was that actually how he felt about her? Was she really guilty of doing this?

"What part of this evening has gone remotely the way I wanted it to? Have I complained at all?" Jackie was calm now. She was honestly curious as to how he planned to pin this whole thing on her. He always found a way.

"What could you possibly have to complain about, except for maybe being a little raw from me fucking you too hard into the mattress?" He wet his lips at the memory and a smug smile worked its way to the surface.

All of the air left her body. Her mind clouded over, wiping all thoughts besides throttling him to the ground, from her brain. He was lucky there were so many witnesses around, because she'd definitely had enough liquid courage at that point to dispatch him without a second thought.

Jerry-in-the-tacky-suit gave Hyde a double thumbs up, earning himself a hard smack to the arm from his irritable bride, who shot Jackie a supportive look.

Jackie felt like kicking herself when her voice barely came out as a whisper. "You're a pig, Steven." Her eyes darted to the man in the cheap suit and she sneered. "You too, Jerry. Especially you."

The man cowered in shame.

She couldn't believe how quickly the night had taken such a horrible turn. This was exactly why they had no business getting married. They were too volatile.

Hyde shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he thought about what she said. "So...yeah. That was a dick move."

Did he just admit he was wrong? She tilted her head to get a better view of his face. "Then why did you say it?"

He scratched at his hair again. "Uh, 'cause I'm a dick? I guess I just don't get why you always gotta freak out about the stupid stuff."

Jackie laughed and then shook off the hit. "You should probably stop talking, you're only making things worse."

"Because I don't believe in marriage?"

He doesn't believe in marriage? Then what the hell was he doing with that stripper for four months in 1979? It's not like he would have let her stay if he hadn't put a ring on her finger. "I know we never saw eye to eye on the whole marriage thing, but it's hardly 'stupid'."

"Marriage IS stupid, Jackie. I didn't stop thinking that just because I asked you to do it." He spoke to her as if she were impaired. Maybe she was, because she'd clearly forgotten that this was the main reason they never got married before.

The acid in her stomach rose and she wondered if it were possible for an organ to digest itself.

"You're serious..." Her tongue felt like sand against the roof of her mouth, dry and scratchy with its lack of saliva. She could barely work up enough fluid to even swallow. "Then why did you ask me?"

Hyde jaw flexed hard, but he said nothing.

Of course. She wasn't surprised by his lack of answer, but was at least thankful it wasn't his typical 'I don't know'.

"Looks like you really dodged a bullet." Jackie lifted his hand and deposited both wedding rings in the center of it. "If you hurry, you can probably still catch Sam's 3am show. Maybe she'll be drunk enough to marry you again."

As she nudged him aside to reach for the door, he grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry," he whispered, almost to himself.

"No. You're not." She hated the sound of her own voice when she was like this. It was cold and unforgiving, and reminded her of another time she'd pretended not to care after one of his apologies.

"Yeah, I am. For everything I said, I'm sorry. I was being an asshole. Maybe I'm a little freaked out about the whole getting married thing, too." He looked longingly at the empty bottle of champagne on the floor and then turned his attention back to her.

"You asked me. I didn't pressure you into it." She stood there frozen, staring at the doorknob. His larger hand covered hers as it grasped the lever, obscuring it completely. "If you thought it was stupid, you never should've suggested it. I'm not some desperate cow like my mother. I've done perfectly fine without a man."

Hyde flinched at her words, looking unsure of how to continue. "I - I don't know what I'm doing half the time, man. I just...I wish I knew the right stuff to say, but it always comes out wrong. All I know is that I came here to get you back, and I'm not going home until I do."

His determination piqued her interest and she loosened her grip on the door handle. "You don't have to marry me to do that."

"I know that." Hyde pulled down his glasses and hooked them on the front of his shirt. "I still want to though."

Her mind was swimming in a sea of tequila and champagne. She wasn't sure what either of them was trying to say, but she knew it was important, so she decided to blurt out the first thing that came to her mind. The one question she had been asking herself since she found him loitering in front of her hotel room.

"Why? Why do you even want me back? It's not just about sex, is it? I mean, I know I'm excellent in the sack, but that can't be the only reason."

"I don't need to go chasing a lay across state lines, regardless of how 'excellent' it is." Eyes glued to his boots, Hyde shook his head aimlessly while trying to formulate the right answer. "I, you know..." With a pleading look, he grabbed her hand from the door and took it in his own, interlacing their fingers together slowly. "I feel like 'me' when I'm with you. The good version."

They both knew exactly what he meant. There was always a Dr. Jekyll to Steven Hyde, even if very few people ever got to meet him.

"I don't remember what the good version looks like anymore, Steven."

"I was...not unhappy." Hyde's confession brought a scowl to his face. He always likened talking about his feelings to an afternoon marathon of watching the movie 'Ice Castles'. He'd hated the film.

"Is that your backward way of saying you were happy when we were together?"

He shrugged, which for him was as good as a 'yes'. "Were you?"

"I don't know. Sometimes." She laughed nervously and buried her face into her free hand. "It wasn't perfect with us, but when we were happy, I was really really happy. When we weren't...well, you know how that went. But yeah, I was happy with you. It wouldn't have broken my heart to lose you if I wasn't."

"I hear that."

Did he just admit she broke his heart? She tried to hide the satisfaction that was threatening to brim over.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each of her knuckles. "I think you missed me."

She sighed heavily. "I think you missed me and are too chicken to just tell me, so you turned it around."

"You get me." He smiled, and moved in closer to her. "And even though you're gonna deny it, I get you too."

She shook her head and tried to turn the door knob. "I wish that were true."

"See? Denial." He pulled her to him and brought their conjoined hands to his chest. "I was an idiot, but I swear I'm not gonna be one anymore."

"You can't promise me that Steven. You're a man. You're like, genetically engineered to be a total moron." Jackie heart was beating rapidly and her head was growing lighter by the second. She pulled out of his grip and placed her hand back on the doorknob. "Anyway, you've made that promise before..."

"I know." Hyde leaned all of his weight on the barrier to prevent her from opening it. "But I'm not gonna fuck things up this time."

Jackie's head dropped forward against the plank of ivory-painted wood with a thump. The twinkle lights that surrounded it blinked on and off, mocking her with their persistent cheerfulness as her head swam in doubt. "I can't," she whispered into the door. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"I've lived through a lot of shit - both good and bad - and most of it was just sort of forced on me. Edna leaving, going to live with the Formans, WB giving me the store, I didn't go after any of that."

"We all have our crosses to bear."

"You don't get it. The only risk I took, the only big decision I ever made for myself, was kissing you that day in Forman's basement. How the hell was I supposed to know it would be the one smart thing I ever did in my life?" His voice was hoarse and uncertain, reeking of both pain and desperation. He stepped up behind her and she could feel every inch of his body pressed up against her back. An hour ago, it would have felt nice, but now she just felt suffocated.

These rare, soul-baring speeches might have been hard for him to say, but they were even more overwhelming for her to listen to.

Every muscle in her tiny frame clenched as he held her without permission. "Oh."

Hyde buried his face into the back of her hair. She could hear him inhale her scent. "When you said you were leaving for Chicago, I went a little crazy."

"A little crazy?"

"Okay, so I freaked. You were the only thing that was just mine, Jackie. I didn't know how to deal with you leaving."

"You were all I had too, but I didn't fuck off to Las Vegas and marry a stripper," Jackie said with a bitterness that surprised even herself.

"If I could undo it, you know I would." Pulling her hair to the side, his lips fell onto the back of her neck. "I'll do anything to get you back."

With his mouth distracting her from her anger, her resolve began to weaken. "I don't want to marry somebody who thinks marriage is a stupid institution."

He turned her around by her shoulders. "Marriage is just about sticking around, right? And trying to make the person you're with smile a little bit before you both become worm food. I can dig it as a concept, I guess. But I still think it's insane to involve the government in my sex life, like I need them to validate it or whatever."

"Wow. Don't ever let anybody tell you you're not a romantic at heart." Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Don't think that's gonna be an issue."

"Marriage is more than that, Steven. It also means being a team and riding out the bad times together. It doesn't involve rushing out to screw the first hussy who crosses to your side of the street when the going gets tough."

"You're the only hussy I want on my side of the street, princess."

Jackie frogged him in the shoulder. "Dipshit."

Laughter rolled out of Hyde's lungs as he rubbed his arm.

"It's about being a family." She spoke louder to top the volume of his laugh, then looked him squarely in the eyes. "And it's about love."

"Love, huh? Then this marriage thing should be a piece of cake." He closed his eyes and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then slipped an arm around her waist. "You belong with me. You know you do. You gotta stop being so stubborn about it."

A rash of chills pricked her skin and she shrugged. It was the truth. The only place that had ever felt like home to her was in his arms. "And where do you belong?"

When Hyde's lip quirked into that familiar smirk she both loved and hated, she knew she would break. "Right behind you, holding you on my lap."

Jackie's limbs felt weak at his confession. It took everything she had not to climb up into his lap at that very moment. She'd been worn down, and her nose wrinkled at the defeat. "I must be crazy."

"How crazy?" His lips hovered just above hers and she could feel the heat radiating off of his skin.

"Really, really, really crazy." The last thing she remembered was her mouth crashing against his.


Present.

"Come on," Jackie whispered urgently into Hyde's ear as her hands fell to his zipper. "What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

So, I'm a little out of control? I can own it. I wouldn't be the first girl to lose her mind in Vegas.

"They do those?" Hyde brought her hands back up to his sides and groaned as she latched onto a pulse point on his neck and sucked hard. "Fuck."

"Absolutely." She mouthed her way up to his earlobe and took it between her teeth. "Glad we're on the same page now."

"Jackie..."

Ugh. Why won't he just do what he always does and go for the goods? Since when did he grow a conscience?

"You know you want to..." She bit down hard, causing Hyde to gasp, then soothed the reddened skin with her tongue.

"Jesus. You're the one who said you didn't want this to be about sex, right?" He pulled out of her grasp and leveled her with a stern look.

He'd taken her to a Olivia Newton-John concert. A musical abomination, by his standards.

He, of the dirty, hard rock band tees and combat boots, had gone out of his way to buy tickets, simply to put a smile on her face. It was the most romantic thing anybody had ever done for her. The fact that he was the one to do it blew her away even more.

A sly smile spread across her lips. "No. I said I didn't want this to just be about sex."

It had always been intense between them, but it had never just been about the physical. Their relationship was everything - love, hate, sex, laughter - all of it wrapped in shroud of burlap that chafed uncomfortably, keeping everything always on edge.

He echoed her grin and the slow-eyed look she'd always loved returned with it. His voice rumbled low in his chest. "You're a bad girl. You know that, right?"

God, his voice...

She shrugged and closed the distance between them. "I thought that was the reason you loved me."

He shook his head slowly as he enveloped her in his arms. "That's why I like you. There's a shitload of other reasons why I love you...though this could easily make the top of that list by the end of the night if you don't stop with the come-fuck-me eyes, already."

"Then come fuck me, already," she demanded in a harsh whisper, pulling him toward her by his ass.

The chorus of the song 'Physical' started up in the background, forcing an embarrassed chuckle out of both of them.

His fingertips toured the curve of her back, igniting a path that ended in the valley of her behind. He squeezed hard with both hands and then pressed her to the wall, using it as leverage to grind his hard bulge between her legs, probing at different spots until he found the one that made her toes curl. "I was trying to be good. For you."

"Uh-huh. Well, I fully expect you to be good. For me." The heat pooled at her groin, and she quickly drew her legs around his waist and clung to his shoulders for dear life.

Oh my God, I'm an animal.

The room was pitch black and disorienting and the concert hall loud, but the sound of her own ragged breathing and the feeling of Hyde's hands on her body drew all of her focus. She wondered if the ticket taker could tell what was going on a few yards away from him. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. It was Vegas though, and apparently, nothing shocked a Las Vegan less than public sex.

"Do you want to make love right here?" Her fingers wound through his hair and playfully pulled at a lock of it. "You always did like doing it in public."

"Who the hell have you been dating since we've been apart?" He wrapped her hair around one of his fists and lightly tugged to expose more of her skin to him. "I'd like to send him a thank you card."

"You really want to know?"

"Hell no!" he growled into the hollow of her neck. "That's the last thing I want to hear about."

She laughed hard and slid her hand down the back of his jeans. "His name was Paco. He was 30, worked as a runway model for Calvin Klein and was a part-time roadie for AC/DC..."

Hyde dropped her suddenly, back on to her feet. "You'd better be fucking with me."

"Which part upsets you the most? That he was a model?"

"No, dammit, that he was a roadie for AC/DC!" He lips drew together tightly and he pointed at her. "You're messing with my head."

She smiled brightly. "Obviously. As if I'd date a guy name Paco." She stuck her tongue out of her mouth in revulsion. "Or a roadie. Or an old dude."

"So the male model part...?" He tried but failed to ask the question without exposing his keen interest.

Jackie lowered her chin in a coy expression. "A girl's gotta have some secrets."

Hyde glanced at the ticket taker who was busy doodling on the back of a discarded ticket stub with a yellow highlighter pen that glowed in the tiny black light sitting atop of the booth. "Maybe we should take this upstairs?"

She pouted her lip out. "When did you get so soft, Steven?"

"Soft?" Hyde leaned his hands on either side of her head and rocked his erection against her heat in rhythmic strokes. She could feel her excitement starting to build again, and so could he, as his fingers stroked the wet strip of cotton between her legs. "God damn, you're ready."

"So are you going to do something about it or leave me hanging here?" She bucked her hips up against his. "It's dark, nobody will see. We don't even know these people, anyway."

"This is our honeymoon, Jackie. You want me to screw you in front of a crowd of Xanadu-worshiping pansies wearing polyester jumpsuits, that's your call."

Honeymoon? As if!

Jackie grunted. "If this is what you consider a honeymoon, then you may as well screw me against this wall now, because it'll probably be the last chance you'll have to put your hands on me. I'm not from 'Hill People', Steven. I have standards."

"You could always call Paco to come and pick you up? Take you to Shangri-La?" He waggled his eyebrows at her in jest. "He's a male model, Jackie. He can afford it."

Well that lie didn't blow up in my face or anything.

"There really was a Paco, he just wasn't named Paco. His name was -"

"Can it." He brushed the hair away from her face with his free hand. "Stay with me and I'll take you somewhere for a real honeymoon, treat you like a lady. I'll screw you against a wall somewhere classy and tropical, instead of this cesspool."

Her hands stilled for second and she tried to suss out if he was being serious or not.

"Yeah, right. You can't burn me with a promise of a holiday that will never materialize. It's too cruel for even you to toy with my emotions like that. Even stand-up comedians draw an ethical line drawn somewhere, and they're a bunch of hard core drug addicts." She licked a wide path up the front of his neck. "Alright, I've got an idea. Let's throw all the money you won on the bed and then roll around on it naked!"

"Figures that's what would get your motor running." The hint of amusement in his voice sent her into a fit of giggles. "And here I assumed you'd want to listen to your crap music for a little while. Maybe try to force me to dance around like a monkey for your amusement?"

"If you moved like a monkey, I'd be forcing you not to dance...or at least, not anywhere near me." His hand dipped under her skirt again. "Anyway, I plan to force you to dance with me at the wedding, so fret not."

"You think you can make me do your bidding now, just 'cause you put this badass Skeletor ring on my finger?" Jackie felt the wedding ring brush her center and her head lolled against his shoulder.

"That's right," she said between pants as Hyde's fingers pushed past the cotton barrier. "We're married now, so I can make you do whatever I want. It's the law."

Okay, maybe not technically, but daddy always did do whatever my mom told him to do. Except for that whole embezzling thing. There's no way she didn't tell him to run.

"How are you going to manage that?" Hyde suckled the column of her neck and she moaned softly, despite her desire not to give him the satisfaction.

"I'll do what all smart wives do. I'll withhold sex." She gasped at the addition of his thumb pressed to the center of her core.

"Sounds like a solid plan." He grinned smugly as he took her to the edge of the cliff and dangled her off of it. His hand picked up speed, plucking her skin like a Spanish guitar, playing her favorite song. "Let me know how that works out for you."

A whimper escaped from the back of her throat and her voice grew strained. "I'll even request some Olivia Newton-John songs from the DJ for you to dance to, just so you can really prove how much you love me."

"You don't really think I'm gonna have my ass handed to me by Sandy from Grease?"

"I know you will. Donna told me you refer to my mix tapes as 'hell's soundtrack' behind my back..." He cackled loudly but she cut him off with a kiss, which grew more passionate the quicker his fingers moved inside of her.

"Nah. Hell would have a much cooler soundtrack than that, doll. Sid Viscous and Keith Moon are in hell. Your mix tapes are more like purgatory, unpleasant and never-ending." Pinning her to the wall with his body to keep her in place, he slipped his other hand past the neckline of her wrap dress and sighed as his fingers found her unbound breasts. "I love that you never wear a bra."

"Oh shit!" Jackie cried out as he buried his face into her chest and took one of her tight nipples in his warm mouth. She attempted to buck her hips to increase the friction, but her legs were like jelly and she was unable to move. Her fingers dug into his hair, hard enough to leave bruises on his scalp, and he shoved her over the edge. "Steven! God yes!"

Her head slapped the wall hard enough to see stars, exploding like fireworks behind her lids, as she came down from her high.

"So...you you were saying...that little plan you had about making me do stuff?"

"The only thing I want to make you do right now is take me upstairs and tell me all of the disgusting things you plan to do to me."

"Oh yeah!" A familiar voice called out from the darkness.

Jackie's heart lurched up into her throat and she felt Hyde's muscles tense under her hands. "Crap."

Stupid Michael always has to ruin everything!

The couple reluctantly extracted their hands from one another's clothing, but stayed close by.

Did Michael just hear Steven getting me off? Cosmic retribution, anyone?

"Hyde, please tell me that your brain is in some kind of Olivia Newton-John induced psychosis," a different male voice whined from the same direction. "I mean, it's dark as hell in here, so it's understandable if you can't, you know, tell that the woman you're currently groping is, in fact, a demon spawn."

Wasn't Donna supposed to put a muzzle on her girlfriend tonight?

"Shut the fuck up, Forman." Hyde punched the figure in the dark.

"Ow! Damn Hyde, that was me." Kelso cried as he rubbed his arm.

"Sorry, man." He slammed his fist into a different shoulder.

Kelso's shriek was as high as a woman's. "That's still me!"

"It's dark in here. I'm wearing shades." Hyde shrugged and took his sunglasses off. "My bad."

"Look, I don't know what the hell this..." Eric waved his hand at the couple like he was loathe to touch either of them, "is, but it needs to stop. Ugh. I think I might lose my lunch."

Jackie hissed. "Stop being such a drama queen, Eric. It's not like you've never seen us kissing before."

"Those were actually separate thoughts, devil, but I could see why you'd think they were related." Eric laughed at his own joke alone. "Just be glad you missed lunch."

"Donna always said you had a delicate constitution..." Jackie started, going for the low hanging fruit. "On the account of you weighing less than I do."

"No Jackie, he's not exaggerating. There's a real chance we all could both be blowing chunks pretty soon," Kelso piped in.

Jackie felt bad, thinking of her best girlfriend being forced to suffer through a third incarnation of Mrs. Forman's chili. "Gross."

"And yet, infinitely more palatable than watching Hyde make it with Beelzebub against the wall of a concert hall," Eric cracked.

She looked at Eric's shadow with derision, pissed she was wasting one of her more epic 'bitchface' expressions on a fight in the dark. "Aww come on, Eric, you should stick around. Maybe you could finally learn how to please a woman?"

Hyde slipped an arm around her waist and rubbed small circles on her hip with his fingertips.

I forgot how turned of he gets when I'm burning his friends.

"How exactly would I learn how to please a woman from watching Hyde fool around with you?" Though she couldn't see him, Jackie knew Eric was wearing the kind of smirk that she'd want to slap off his face.

She took a step in the direction of his voice and adopted a pleasant, teasing tone. "If you can't tell what a woman looks like - twig boy - then I'm afraid you're hopeless, so you may as well leave. In fact, do leave. Please."

"Eric, you should probably watch your step right now, because when Jackie sounds friendly, that's when she's the most dangerous." Kelso tugged his friend back by the shirt sleeve. "One time, when Jackie found a pair of your sister's panties in my room, she went from nice to just totally mental in like, a second. It was shocking! She was like that crazy orangutan in 'Any Which Way You Can'. You know he died ripping another monkey's face off, right?"

Eric looked at his friend with deep pity and yanked his sleeve back. "Pretty sure you just made that up, Kelso."

"Well, it could've happened!" He shouted indignantly. "Anyway Jackie, Caroline made the hotel serve this weird dish from Fez's homeland, and I'm not positive, but it might have involved armadillo."

Hyde wrinkled his face. "Is that true or more of Kelso's made up bullshit?"

Eric lifted his hands. "It was either roadkill, or we were served stewed leather. All I know is, even Fez wouldn't touch that shit without getting drunk first, and it's from his country."

Jackie lightly hip checked Hyde. "Good call on the ice cream. That was pretty smart."

"Of course it was." He wrapped his other arm around her waist and her spine locked. "To be fair, I accidentally wandered into the kitchen before I found the dining room. Not pretty. It was like a scene out of 'Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH'."

I know they can't probably see, but he's holding onto me in front of our friends like this is totally normal. Is it normal? It kind of feels strange, but also kind of normal.

"Jackie won't eat something if its not pretty." Kelso said in a dreamy voice.

She nodded in agreement. "That's true."

Eric tapped Kelso on the shoulder. "Then I guess it's safe to say that Hyde's junk...is breathtaking."

Kelso chuckled and attempted to high-five his friend, missing the first three tries completely.

Hyde leaned forward and punched the nearest shoulder. "Settle down, Erica."

"Ow! My eye!"

"Oops." He sighed and then hit the correct man.

"Shit! It was a compliment!" Eric rubbed the sore spot on his upper arm. "Every man wants to hear that their wang is beautiful."

Hyde hit him again. "Stop talking about my wang, Forman!"

"What are you two doing here anyway?" Jackie asked with a firmly planted scowl.

Eric continued rubbing his arm. "Uhh...would you believe we came here to get our groove on to some ON-J?"

"Not really." Hyde raised an eyebrow. His tone suggested he was done fucking around.

"We came here to find weed!" Kelso announced gleefully.

"Shut up, nimrod. You want to get arrested?" Eric frogged Kelso's arm, though it barely earned any notice.

Looking around to make sure there weren't any people lurking nearby who could eavesdrop, Kelso leaned in. "We couldn't find you anywhere, dude, so we came here. There's always weed at a concert, right? And this is a concert...sort of."

"Not so much." Eric shook his head. "If anything, we figured Satan would be here. And since you've been balls deep in evil for the last day..."

Wait! They know?

"Who told you about us?" Jackie placed her hand on Hyde's chest protectively.

Kelso started laughing hysterically. "Oh man, you would have loved it! You know, if it wasn't about you and stuff."

Hyde's sight locked with hers and she could see his jaw tensing up. "What happened?"

Jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, Eric rubbed his hands in anticipation of the story. "So Caroline – who, by the way, is like ten times crazier than the last time we saw her – starts asking where Jackie is. Donna speaks up, telling everybody that she felt sick or something and had to go lie down. So then, Caroline starts shrieking like a banshee, crying about how Jackie was gonna get murdered by 'The Sunset Strip Killers' now, because she dared to walk back to her room all by herself."

The Sunset Strip is in California. What's her deal with California and serial killers?

"What is her fixation with me getting whacked?" Jackie squeaked. "Nobody would want to murder somebody as pretty as me, right?"

"I can answer that..." Eric spoke up from the void.

"Shut up, dork," she barked. "And please continue with your story."

"So Caroline is freaking out with worry and Fez is trying to calm her down, and finally Fez shouts out 'Don't worry, my candy cane, Hyde is missing too. I'm sure he walked Jackie safely back to her room, you know, because he is boning her again.'" Eric was vibrating with Schadenfruede at the reveal. "He really belted it out too, on the account of her screaming so loud. Everybody heard. It was awesome."

Kelso snickered. "Yeah, it was pretty sweet."

Jackie buried her face in her hands.

Great. Now all of the wedding guests are probably picturing me getting boned. At the very least, they're thinking about what I look like naked. That wasn't supposed to happen until they saw me in my bridesmaid dress.

"Oh yeah," Eric continued, "and then Caroline got really pissed off because she thought you two just ditched the luncheon to go fuck in a broom closet somewhere."

"That bitch!" Jackie's jaw dropped. "As if I would have sex in a broom closet! I would never make love where I could get my clothing all smudged."

"We had sex in a broom closet once, Jackie." Kelso smiled knowingly as he jabbed Jackie in the ribs with his elbow.

"That was a coat closet, you idiot." She jabbed him back even harder causing him to collapse at the waist in pain.

"Damn Jackie!"

Eric pushed Kelso out of the way. "Anyway, you need to go calm her down before the wedding, Devil."

"Fine."

"You know, after you guys finish 'doing it' up against the ticket booth. No rush." Eric said, his voice thick with sarcasm.

"We weren't 'doing it' against the ticket booth," Hyde said snidely, mocking Forman's voice.

Eric tipped his head to the right and dropped his lids to half-mast. "Really? 'Cause it kinda looked like ya were."

"I need air." Jackie pushed harshly past Kelso and headed for the door.

"Thanks for that. Morons." Hyde grumbled as he followed her out of the door.


Jackie was halfway down the corridor when she heard her name being called and slowed down.

"Jackie!" Hyde jogged up to where she was standing. "I'm sorry about those hyenas. I'll take care of them later."

Humor twinkled behind her eyes as she watched him catch his breath. "Why are you sorry? My mom always told me that the quickest way for a woman to leave any room is to storm out in a huff."

Or to pretend like she was about to vomit, but Eric already beat me to that one.

"You're not pissed?"

She narrowed her gaze at him. "No. Of course not. They're just being their typical idiot selves. I just figured you'd want to get out of there...so we could be alone."

He grinned at her with admiration. "Nice."

Jackie walked slowly toward him, her shoes shuffling along the low-pile carpet, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his briefly. "Stick with me, young grasshopper, and you will learn much."

"I will stick with you." Hyde cradled her face with his hands and she melted into them. "You planning on sticking with me?"

"Steven, I-"

"Don't file for an annulment."

Shit. I knew this would come up again soon enough.

Her expression dropped along with her blood pressure, and she suddenly grew dizzy. "I don't know, Steven...I'll think about it."

His eyes lit up. "Last time, I got an outright no. This is progress."

Are we making progress?

She looked up at his uncovered eyes and smiled. "Maybe a little..."

"Jacqueline Burkhart!" a woman's voice shouted angrily from across the corridor.

Caroline headed toward her bridesmaid, red-faced from fury, fists balled at her sides, and eyes as manic as ever.

Jackie groaned and let her forehead fall against Hyde's shoulder. "And the hits just keep on coming..."