Temperance Chapter 7:

I was warm held tightly by someone; the smell of a camp fire was one of the few things my foggy mind could register. I felt as if I had been run over by a car as my body simply ached. Someone, I suppose the one who was holding me opened my mouth gently and then poured a small amount of water into my mouth. I sputtered and gasped opening my eyes for the first time since I became aware of my surroundings. Boromir smiled brightly down at me before saying.

"You are finally awake." I looked around trying to figure out where we were it was nowhere near as cold even though it was night. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was wrapped tightly in a thick fur cloak. Or perhaps my proximity to camp fire had something to do with it.

"Where are we?" I was astonished at how weak my voice sounded even to me.

"Outside the gates of Moria, you sure gave us a scare, how are you feeling?" Boromir asked sitting me up his arm still around my shoulders offering support which I honestly didn't need.

"I am fine, what happened on the mountain? I don't remember anything after the avalanche."

"That is because when we found you in the snow you were passed out. We were unsure if you would survive or not." Legolas said as Sam grabbed a deep plate and started dishing out some sort of stew into it.

"Here you are Senia, you are probably starving." I struggled free of the fur cloak and Boromir's grasp and reached for the bowl fighting back a wave of dizziness that struck me at the movement. I could tell that it had been at least a full day since I was on the mountain pass simply because when I got a whiff of the stew my stomach growled fiercely.

"Uhm, how long was I out?" I asked blushing at the rather unladylike growl my stomach made.

"A day and a half, you should finish that quickly or it will get cold. Also Gandalf wants to talk to you when you are ready." Aragorn said walking over to sit down next to me.

"Alright, so did I miss anything important?" I said taking a large bite of the stew; I wasn't sure if it was because of being out of it for so long or if it was just a really incredible stew.

"No, nothing much happened, save for us all being worried sick over you." Merry said slightly tiredly. I paused, my spoon half way to my mouth and studied the fellowship. Those who sat around the fire, they looked so tired all of them. Even Legolas had a weary look to his fine elven features. I looked at Boromir and though he smiled softly at me he looked tired, more so than the others.

It dawned on me how much they worried over me. They looked like in that day and a half that I was passed out they hadn't slept much at all. I knew than I was friends with the hobbits, and even though Frodo carried the ring we still conversed on random topics. I knew that Legolas and Aragorn were best described as close friends. Gimli and Gandalf were comrades though they did not talk to me as often as the others. Boromir, I wanted to consider him as a friend, though he did not treat me as such. Since the moment I met Boromir he seemed to think of me in a different way than the other members of the fellowship.

I wouldn't consider what Boromir felt towards me as love. It was too early for love and he treated me the same way since he met me. If I had to label how Boromir treated me it would be attraction. I unfortunately did not feel any attraction towards the man let alone love. Perhaps it was the social expectations and stigmas that I had grown up with but Boromir was not one I would ever consider to love. None of the fellowship I would consider as people I could love.

Friends they could be, friends is what I wanted them to be. I feared never being able to return home, to my friends and the future I had planned. I held little hope for returning home, but still I tried to remain detached from them. Friends I could leave behind, friends I could survive leaving. If I allowed myself to love them any of them, I would never be able to leave. If I did somehow leave I would not recover from such a loss.

I finished off the last of the stew setting the deep plate down and standing meaning to head over to Gandalf to see what he wanted to talk to me about.

"Here, take my cloak and keep warm." Boromir said standing and wrapping the fur cloak around me again. His hands seemed to linger on my shoulder even after wrapping the cloak around me. So this cloak was his and now it was wrapped around me. It was such a strange action, it was done back home and was a sign of endearment. The meaning held no differences here.

"Uhm…thanks. I am going to go and talk to Gandalf." I said walking away from Boromir tripping once on the cloak but otherwise keeping my balance. Gandalf sat on a rock near a glowing vine design on the stone wall. He smoked his pipe and watched the wall as if he was contemplating it.

"You wanted to speak to me?" I asked sitting on a rock next to Gandalf's, he looked over at me for a moment then said.

"So tell me how a dream can be so terrible that you refuse to sleep?"

"What?" The question shocked me, I hadn't any idea as to what Gandalf had wanted to talk to me about but I had never guessed that it would be about my dreams.

"What are these dreams that you have?"

"They, they are of darkness, and evil things. They chase me and try to destroy me." Gandalf's face hardened at my words but responded.

"You can't continue to refuse to sleep. The next time you find yourself in a dream like that create light, conquer your dreams Senia for you cannot continue to jeopardize the safety of the fellowship in this way. They are all far too fond of you; they have all hardly slept since they found you passed out. They took care of you when you were asleep; made sure you did not become dehydrated and even changed your clothing." I looked down at myself to find that I was in my purple dress the only one I had yet to wear since the beginning of the trip. My face turned beet red.

"Who changed my clothes?" Gandalf's serious mood faltered when he saw my look of horror at the concept of some of the fellowship changing my clothing.

"I believe it was Legolas who changed you. Though, time was of the essence as you were completely soaked through. Since that Boromir has managed to keep you wrapped tightly in his cloak."

"Yeah, he is being very kind to me. I just hope he doesn't get the wrong idea about me."

"If that is how you feel then he already has the wrong idea about you. The man is clearly infatuated with you, so decide to either return his affections or make it clear beyond a doubt that you are not interested."

"I know, I am just not sure what to do, because regardless of what I might feel I have to go back to Chi…Cha…I have to go home and I don't want it to be any harder than it will have to be." I frowned as I could not remember the name of the city I lived in.

"You don't have to return to your home Senia, even if we found a way to send you back it does not mean we will force you to leave."

"There is the trouble too, there is no guarantee that I will be able to go home. I don't want to make myself used to the idea of living here and then find that I can go home because then the problem is choosing where to be. Do I stay here with those I have become close to, or do I return home to my parents and family? Do you see my problem?" Gandalf nodded understandingly. He knew that I should not have to choose between my family and my friends, unfortunately it was a choice that was waiting for me when a way to my home was found.

'You think you will be able to leave this world? So foolish, so naïve. You were trapped the moment you became aware of us.' I shuttered as the ring whispered to me, I quickly glanced over towards Gandalf wondering if he noticed the subtle reaction to the ring. He seemed to not notice a thing, I mentally sighed in relief.

I wouldn't tell them of the ring speaking to me; it would do no good to make them worry. Aragorn had said that the ring tries to seduce those around it in an attempt to get in the hands of someone weak minded. Just because the ring spoke to me did not mean that I would give up or give in. I had to remain strong, for the sake of the fellowship and the mission.

"So, are these the doors to Moria?" I asked after the moment of silence, Gandalf was focused on the glowing lines that were on the rock face.

"Indeed they are, if one can remember the password."

"You can't remember the password for the doors? Did you try Open Sesame?" I said with a smile hoping that the old man would understand the joke. I heard a stone plop into the lake behind us, then a second. I glanced over to see Aragorn stop Pippin from throwing a third and whisper something to the hobbit.

"Why would Open Sesame be a password? Anyway that is not the password for these doors."

"Well does it give you any hints? I mean the writing has to be a hint."

"All the writing says is 'Speak friend and enter.' Hardly a hint of any sort hint, because if you were to a friend to the dwarves of Moria you would know the password."

"What if it is easier than you think? Speak friend, and enter. Have you tried saying the word friend in different languages? Maybe whatever language it is written in." Gandalf made a face that told me he hadn't thought of what I had just said.

"Mellon…" Gandalf muttered and the wall cracked and shuttered opening to a dark cavern beyond. In the dim light of the moon nothing could be seen inside.

"He's remembered." Merry said jumping up and grabbing his bag and putting it on his shoulders. I too stood and walked swiftly over to where the bags were piled up. I took off Boromir's cloak and tossing it over my arm I tied Rondor to my belt and then hefted my own pack onto my shoulders. I walked over to Boromir and offering out the cloak said.

"Thanks for letting me use your cloak but I don't need it anymore." Boromir took the cloak with a smile and said.

"I am glad I could be of some service to you."

"You are a great friend, one of the best." I said trying to get across what I considered him to be. To solidify the meaning of my words I clasped Boromir on the shoulder as I had seen Aragorn do to Legolas. I figured it was a sign of friendship because the Aragorn and Legolas were old friends. I would have said that they had been friends since they were children. But that was impossible because Legolas was an elf, so I assumed he was far older than he looked. Aragorn could not have been more than thirty, so to classify them as old friends would only be true in a human sense.

I pulled my hand back as Boromir gave me that look again. It was endearment, I could see that now. I quickly turned away from Boromir and walked towards the entrance of Moria. I did not want to see that look, I knew I could not stop it but I did not want to see it directed at me. It was clear that Boromir didn't understand the Friend Zone; I should have expected that though. No I would have to be blunt about it. Though the idea troubled me, I did not want to be so cruel to him. He was my friend but he put me in such a situation that I saw no way of not hurting him. If I did nothing Boromir would continue to have hope for a relationship with me. He would one day profess his love and I would be forced to tell him that I did not love him.

If he waited for me to show some sign of affection beyond that of a friend he would either be sorely disappointed or misunderstand an action to suit his desire for me to love him. If that happened he would come to misunderstand our relationship and I again would be forced to harm him by denying his love. Then again if I simply told him that I was not interested now, then it would hurt him yes, but it might save him more pain in the future. Or he could simply refuse to believe me and continue to pursue me.

Oh what a mess I had gotten myself into, how I wasn't even sure. It seemed like I had become an object of Boromir's affection from the moment I met him. I never had much experience with romantic affairs but it seemed to me that this affection from Boromir was very sudden. I just didn't understand how he came to have such affections for me to begin with, I was a plain girl. I didn't understand what had attracted Boromir to me in the first place. I might have believed that he liked me because of who I was as a person but he did not know me when we first met. When his looks first began.

I shrugged my shoulders adjusting the straps of my bag as I walked behind Gandalf into the darkness of Moria. I honestly expected it to be better lit for a Dwarven city. Though I honestly didn't know much about dwarves, but I was pretty sure they couldn't see in the dark.

"Soon you will be enjoying the fabled hospitality of the dwarves Master Elf. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This is my cousin Balin's home and they call it a mine. A mine!" Gimli spoke with an excitement that I had never seen before in him. Gandalf fumbled with a stone and putting it in the top of his staff and blew gently on it causing the stone to glow. All around on the floor were corpses they were rotted dried husks of beings. Arrows jutted from their armor that had tarnished and darkened with age.

"This is no mine, this is a tomb. We should never have come here, we make for the gap of Rohan now get out of here. Get out!" Boromir said as he saw the corpses making to turn and leave when Frodo screamed.

"Strider!" Sam yelled to Aragorn, I turned to see Frodo being dragged out of the entrance. A sudden need to protect Frodo struck me as if someone had thrown boiling water in my face. I ran and as Frodo was being lifted into the air I wrapped my arms around his legs holding on to him tightly as the tentacle lifted both of us into the sky. I cried out as the presence of the ring filled my mind and surrounded my spirit. I wanted to let go to free myself of this sensation that such proximity to thing created.

The ring's presence completely surrounded Frodo; it somehow could not corrupt the hobbit and possess his mind so it did the next best thing and surrounded him. I suspect the ring actively wore away at the hobbits mind trying to corrupt him.

The tentacle beast swung us around in the air and shook me from thought. Why had I even let my mind wander in the first place? I still clung to Frodo trying to not let my mind be consumed by the ring. I could not understand exactly what was going on, the fellowship was fighting whatever it was that held Frodo and I suspended in the air. We were swung haphazardly around as the water began churning and the head of the beast appeared. It opened its maw of a mouth. Frodo and I screamed together at seeing the deep hole that we were to be dropped into.

An arrow was shot into the tentacle that held us in the air. We were swung away from the maw and thrown through the air. The sense of falling was sickening but as we began to fall it was that same urge to protect that kept me calm. I gritted my teeth and pulled Frodo close to myself turning in midair so that when we hit the ground it would be me who hit and not Frodo.

A moment later we struck the water it was cold and the impact stung. What hurt more was the rock I hit just under the surface. The water was probably only a few inches deep and I could feel every rock that pressed into my back.

"Senia, Senia come on, we have to move. Can you get up?" It was Sam who spoke trying to get me to loosen my grip on Frodo.

"Senia let me go." Frodo said pushing my arms away. I let the hobbit go groaning as I sat up and with the help of Sam got to my feet. I was ushered into the mines as Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir fought back the beast that tried to eat Frodo and I. We all retreated into the mines as the beast gripped the stone doors pulling them free and causing the roof to collapse.

As the dust settled Gandalf lit the stone in his staff once more.

"We have but one choice now. We must face the long dark deep of Moria. Swift and silent as shadows we must be, it is a four day journey to the other side. Let us hope our presence may go unnoticed. There are fouler and darker things than goblins in the deep places of the world." Gandalf started to walk into the mines and everyone began to follow.

I had been leaning against the cool stone wall for support as I let the pain of landing ebb away. I took deep breaths and tried to reclaim my breath that I had lost in landing. I pushed myself away from the wall and glanced around the floor for my bag which I had dropped when the beast attacked. It had to be close to the door way but near the door was buried under rock and my bag was nowhere in sight. I sighed, as I realized that all I had was what I carried on my person.

"Senia thank you for saving me." Frodo said walking up to me; he seemed to not notice my limp which was good. I didn't want to worry them over something as pathetic as a few bruises.

"Don't worry about it; I just am glad that you are alright. It doesn't due to lose one of our own so early on."

"Regardless I owe you, the landing must have been hard, you landed flat on your back and were weighed down by me as well."

"I am telling you I am fine. I just got a bruise or two nothing more." With that I walked ahead of Frodo with the rest of the fellowship. None of the others seemed to have noticed I limped at a determined pace. My back ached and I was sure that I would have several bruises, I was just lucky that I did not break any bones.

We walked for hours it seemed, I knew it was night when we entered Moria and since then we were surrounded by darkness. Gandalf's staff the only light in this dark place, I was thankful for that because it meant that I would not be trapped in darkness completely in this leg of the journey. With how dark the entire place was I was focusing on the ground before my feet so I wouldn't trip. Gimli apparently did have some sort of night vision as he was at the front of the group leading everyone through Moria.

It was not long until we left the narrow paths and entered a rather large room that appeared to have once been a sort of break room. There were broken stone tables and a well like stone set up that had a rotted wooden cover.

"We will break here for the moment." Gandalf said sitting down on a stone block that appeared to be a sort of chair. Everyone started to settle down and Sam brought out a loaf of bread and cheese and started to dish up the cold meal for everyone. I limped over to sit next to the others grimacing as I sat and realized that my tail bone was also bruised.

"Senia are you alright?" Legolas asked noticing my gimace.

"It's fine, just a bruise."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I tell you I am fine."

"She hit the ground on her back when the beast dropped us. She sacrificed her safety for me." Frodo said walking over a piece of bread and cheese in hand. Legolas looked at Frodo then back at me, he moved to stand next to me brushing my braid aside to look at what little of my back was not covered by the dress.

"Senia you are black and blue, you have to let us look at it. You could be seriously injured."

"I told you I am fine. Why are you so worried over a bruise?" I asked brushing Legolas' hand away and letting my braid fall over my back again.

"If you are hurt Senia let Legolas have a look. I won't stand for you to be foolishly self-sacrificial." Gandalf grumbled at me. I frowned as the entire fellowship was watching us now. Then as if in unison they all moved to sit facing away from me, everyone save for Legolas who found the knot in the back lacing to my dress.

"Hey! What are you doing Legolas?" I said trying to pull away but he already had hold of the cord.

"Senia I have to see how bad the bruising is, please don't be embarrassed I have always treated you with respect. I simply need to have a look at your back." I sat silent as Legolas brushed my braid aside and started to unlace the back of my dress. I was beet red with embarrassment and glanced over towards the rest of the fellowship. Everyone was facing away from me, I suspect in respect of me but it was still the most embarrassed I had been since coming to this world.

Legolas pulled open the back of my dress and let out a gasp. I shivered as the chill air of Moria hit my back.

"This is far worse than I thought. Senia why did you not say anything before now?"

"It can't be that bad. Just a few bruises." Aragorn turned his head slightly as if he was going to turn around but stopped. I looked down at my hands and sighed I didn't want to feel this weak to be an infant among the fellowship. Yet no matter what I did they treated me as something fragile and weak. I saved Frodo from being hurt in the fall and now I was sitting down like a child as Legolas looked at my back.

The moment Legolas touched my back pain shot through my body and I hissed in pain.

"I am sorry; please just bear with me I have to make sure that nothing is broken." I gritted my teeth as he felt along my spine and shoulder. It hurt yet I could tell that Legolas was trying to be as gentle as possible. Finally he checked along my ribs then his hands left my back and he started to fumble with something I could not see. Then Legolas touched my shoulder gently with what felt like a wet rag. He spread it over my back and let the cloth stick to my skin.

"It is just a temporary salve but it should help with the bruises and pain. These bruises are serious Senia; they could cause your muscles to cramp or cut of circulation to your nervous system." Once the cloth was pressed across my bruised back he laced up my dress. He pulled the cords tight, either to hold the cloth with the salve tight against my skin or to try and keep the swelling down with the pressure.

"Thank you." I said as Legolas knotted the cord to my dress taking my braid and resting it across my back before finally letting me go. This last touch was more than simply being concerned for my wellbeing. It spoke of emotions that threatened to turn into something more than friendship, that I could not let happen. I quickly got up and moved away from the elf and over to the rest of the fellowship sitting next to Gandalf. I looked over at Legolas and met his gaze it was something akin to reluctance and longing that I saw there. A look vastly different from the enamored looks Boromir gave me but all the same it spoke of a similar emotion.

I really didn't want this to happen, to have them fall in love with me and emotion that I could not return. I did not want to harm either of them but my fears of traveling with the fellowship were beginning to turn into a reality. If this kept up I would soon see such looks from Aragorn and the others.

How on earth did I get into such a mess?