RUKIA

I decided to do some research on Byakuya and his immediate family today. I was still shocked and horrified at his outburst yesterday. I had known that he wasn't the most socially open person in the Soul Society but I never expected for him to have felt so oppressed and so hurt. I never knew he needed me.

Come to think of it, since he saved me from Gin's blade he had been trying to be closer towards me. Even just after he adopted me, I felt shamed for not being seated in the thirteenth division, I believed I had disappointed him. It was only fifty years later that I learnt the true reason for me never achieving any rank in my career.

Byakuya had threatened captain Ukitake. Byakuya who never even looked at me, who never spoke to me or sat with me unless it was absolutely necessary didn't want me to be put in the line of fire. He wanted to keep me out of the ranks so that my job would be less dangerous, so that I could remain a soul reaper.

Since meeting Ichigo however, he knew that I would want to become stronger. He decided to give me my chance and I shone. He had to save me many times throughout the years. And then I almost lost him when Nodt stole his bankai and used it to rip him apart. I had nightmares for weeks. I didn't actually see what happened, but I did see what was left of his body and I was horrified. He was cut open until the bone. We only just saved him in time, and even then, he believed he had failed me. When he saw my bankai and praised me, it was honestly one of the happiest moments of my life. I'm not one of those people who thrive on praise, but those few words from him made me spill tears of gratitude.

I kept looking over my shoulder unconsciously. Now and then I heard whispers and murmurs. Byakuya always wore his scarf, even with casual house clothes, as well as his kenseikan. I had tried to leave my room in the morning before breakfast and he seemed displeased that I didn't wear it so I went back for it before joining him for breakfast. Even our maids spared me curious glances, but unlike the branch family they never treated me coldly.

I could just ask Byakuya everything I was curious about but I didn't like seeing me so hurt and vulnerable. I wasn't helpless, I could learn our history from the libraries myself, the only problem was that the library was in the centre of the compound among the other family members who greatly disliked me. I finally found my way to the library, sadly the librarian was one of the elders which automatically put me on their hit list. I sighed and searched the library for historical books.

If there was a chance of me asking the elder for help before, it quickly disappeared once he noticed the scarf around my neck. I noticed the crest of the Kuchiki's at the top of the stairs and decided to start looking there. Thankfully my hunch was correct, there were many books about the family, almost all hand written. All well preserved and organised. Byakuya must have read all of this before. He must have them all memorised. I felt bad choosing what to read when I should try to know everything. Perhaps three months of holiday wasn't such a bad idea. I decided to take out a few of the journals written by Ginrei, Byakuya's grandfather. At least it would give me insight to the family Byakuya knew.

They were all terrible. I knew the Kuchiki's were all about the law but I never knew they actually carried it out, especially on their own family. What surprised me the most was that Byakuya wasn't more than a few decades older than I was. He seemed so wise and knowledgeable, he earned so much fear and respect with only his name and yet he was so young.

His uncle, his aunts husband Koga was originally supposed to become the next head of the family. We know because of recent events that before Koga gave in to sin he actually was innocent and trailed as guilty, however his father in law Ginrei cared too much for him to kill him and instead sealed him away. Unfortunately, the seal was broken in our generation and Byakuya was tasked with slaying him in his grandfather stead.

I remember how Byakuya told me once that he wasn't sure if he would be strong enough to kill a family member and by shattering my zanpakuto he proved to himself that he could be ruthless if he was forced to be, also that me being without a weapon meant that I wouldn't fight and I would be safe. Safe from everything. As usual he shouldered the family burdens he had to carry on his young shoulders by himself. I briefly wondered if there were any more surprises like Koga hidden in the Kuchiki journals and tomes.

Ginrei didn't kill his son in law, but his daughter fought him to the death to try and avenge Koga. He stated how both he and his daughter knew that Koga was in the wrong and that he was punished justly, however being a Kuchiki it was she duty to her husband to die defending him. He was forced to kill his own daughter in a death match, and she even thanked him before she died. She thanked him for letting her die with honour instead of living in the shame of Koga's shadow.

Later when Byakuya was only sixty years old, his parents were crushed under the pressure of becoming the next heads of the family and also the next captain of squad six and broke some sort of ancient law. Again, Ginrei explains the agony of having to kill his own son and his daughter in law, her crime was only being knowledgeable of her husbands' actions and condoning them, but still because she knew something forbidden she was executed. He expressed how sad he was and how proud he was of Byakuya for baring witness to their execution.

Byakuya had, had to watch his parents be killed by his own grandfather. For the sake of the law. I couldn't restrain the silent tears that felt from my eyes, though I kept the journals far enough away from myself to protect them from possible tear stains.

It was recorded that Byakuya was the youngest captain of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads in history, I am barely one hundred and seventy-two but he became a captain when he was only a mere one hundred and twenty years old, he was the pride of the Kuchiki family. And even more impressively, the youngest head of the family was at least eight millennia old. Byakuya wasn't even one hundred and fifty by the time he became the twenty eighth head of the Kuchiki family and married my sister.

My respect for Byakuya has always been paramount, but especially after this it is difficult not to see him in some godly light. No wonder he forced himself to witness my execution. He felt like the law was all there was. He was probably glad that he wouldn't have to kill me himself, and here I thought he would have wanted to kill me personally to preserve the honour of the Kuchiki's. Not to mention all the other times I broke the law in some way, he even aided me when I needed his help. I never realised how difficult it must have been for him, how torn it made him.

On countless occasions he broke the law for me, or let me get away with it. He broke family traditions and threw away his family values to try and make me happy. Honestly, I saw children just like me get beaten to death in the dirty streets for trying to steal some food, I know how it feels to be hungry and cold, sick and helpless, alone and unwanted. But how long did Byakuya feel alone and needed? It must have made him hate himself a little over the years. And finally, he found my sister and fell in love with her only for his love to me unreturned, and even after death he stood by her.

I made sure to place Ginrei's journals back perfectly how I found them. I had a lot to think about. One thing I knew though, was that no matter what I would always stand by Byakuya and I would grow stronger, strong enough to help him if he ever needed it. There truly was no pain like watching a loved one hurt. Or knowing they pretended to be unmovable stone statues when inside they were fragile and lonely.

I walked out of the library back to the main house. I had skipped both lunch and teatime and I was famished. I searched the compound for Byakuya's spiritual pressure and found him in his room. He probably knew where I was the entire time, maybe he even checked up on me and I didn't notice him. Maybe he is upset with be because I didn't ask him. Hopefully he will understand.

Tomorrow was the first day of the Obon festival. Brother said that it was the best time to go because it was usually less crowded. He also said that is there weren't too many people there that we could participate in a few of the festivals games since it was my first time seeing something like that. I promised him that we could go to a festival in the world of the living together when the summer festival came around in a few weeks. He seems interested in human culture lately where in the past it had no relevance to it at all.

I walked to Byakuya's room and knocked on the door. He asked me to come in so I did and I closed the door behind myself. He didn't look up from his work but he did smile slightly.

"So, what have you been busy with today?" He asked me and I immediately felt guilty for looking into his background.

"Well, I have thought for a while that I didn't really know much about you or the family, but I never really felt like I should take an interest in it because I wasn't really…apart of your family." I told him and he looked up at me, but before he could tell me what he thought I started talking again, "I read up on recent family history during your grandfathers' rule. I learnt a lot of things about the family, and also about you. "I told him and he looked at me silently.

"Did you know that you are barely three decades older than me? You are so young! I always thought that you had a few millennia on me but it really is amazing, everything you have achieved in so little time!" I told him excitedly. It was difficult for me not to show my awe, he did seem otherworldly after all. He scoffed and looked mildly offended.

"The manner in which I carry myself is a Kuchiki trait that had been imprinted on me since I was very young. Despite being all that I am, I am rather young as souls go and more over, I am a new soul. This is my first life." He told me. And somehow, I felt so much worse. How could something so pure and innocent be burdened with so much responsibility. To have to many of the important things in life stolen from them. He truly believed he was a slave to this life and he didn't know any better than to accept it with a smile and embrace it.

"That's just terrible. From now on if I find anything fun to do I'm dragging you with me. You are way too young to act like an old man! I get that things are very different with your situation, but you can always afford happiness." I told him and he seemed to contemplate my words before gaining a more guarded expression.

"Exactly what recent history did you research?" He asked me and my smile became a frown.

"I read your grandfathers journals and some interesting books about the origins of the clan. I didn't mean to impose, I just wanted to know more about you…and the family. I understand a lot now. Why you were going to let me die, everything you have done for me that goes against the family and the law. I must be quite despicable to the family. I never realised the importance of the law to the Kuchiki clan. I also never imagined they would go to such extremes to uphold the law, even killing family. His journals didn't say exactly what the offences of your parents and your aunt were, but their punishment just seemed too extreme. You didn't deserve to have to witness…" I trailed off and his eyes widened slightly.

"You do not need to worry. I was young, I don't remember much of it." He told me and I shook my head sadly.

"You shouldn't have been allowed to see that, you were just an innocent child! I can only imagine how sad you felt, and you had to keep all that sadness to yourself. You were forced to grow up too fast." I said, but he didn't say anything. Obviously, he felt the same but it doesn't change what happened. He lowered his face.

"Everyone suffers in life Rukia. I was the only person left who could inherit all of the family's responsibilities. I often wonder how life would have been if my family hadn't fallen apart, but I don't pity myself. Things are the way they are, and even if I could change anything, I wouldn't. Perhaps if I hadn't lost my family I wouldn't have found you and Hisana." He said gently.

"I am indeed young, and I have decided that until I know myself better and understand my duties well enough to teach them to the next generation that I will not comply with any unreasonable orders from the elders. It occurred to me that if I did have an heir, they would influence him into becoming someone unworthy of my position and if worst became worse I would have to kill my own children just like grandfather did. I will wait until I am wiser before starting a family and then I will personally guide my child through the correct path, but knowing what growing up too quickly would do, I would let them experience their youth unwanted before I pass on the mantle, and hopefully when I do retire, you and I will be a reliable elders who think of the needs of the head of the family as well as the family's own needs." He told me and gestured for me to follow him out of the room.

I smiled at him behind his back. He definitely was the best head of the clan so far, and he would become even better once he grows into himself and gains more confidence in his position.

"Also, Rukia. From now on if you aren't too busy I would like you to attend the meetings with the elders with me. It will be unpleasant but perhaps we can learn together how we should be when one day we are in their position." He told me as we entered the dining room.

"Alright, but then we should go together. There's no way I am going to walk into a lion's den by myself." I told him and he laughed lightly. He actually laughed. I knew my eyes must have been sparkling out of amusement but I could help but fawn over the rare sound.

"I like your laugh, I am going to try and make you laugh more often." I told him and nudged him before taking my seat. For a moment he also seemed stunned. Like he didn't realise that he actually laughed. We ate in silence as usual.

"Byakuya…" I said but trailed off, I never really used his name before. It would take some getting used to before I could confidently address him.

"Yes, Rukia?" He asked after a moment of silence. My cheeks must have been aflame but I decided to be daring and ask him anyway.

"Are you busy now?" I asked him shyly. And fiddled with the chopsticks on my empty plate.

"Not particularly, why do you ask?" He replied patiently. I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked up to meet his gaze.

"Well I wanted to train a bit. You know how Yoruichi can turn into a cat? Well I read something in the book about the origin of the history of the clan, apparently you are all descendants of heavenly bodies…do you have an animal form?" I asked and tried my best to hold his gaze but I ended up looking away. His lip pulled up a little at my reaction.

"I do have an animal-like form. The four great noble houses all represent one of four phantom beasts. Yoruichi's true form isn't actually a cat either, but she does enjoy rolling around in the dirt for some strange reason." He told me and finished his tea.

"Oh wow! What can you turn into?" I asked him and he frowned slightly.

"I suppose I could show you, but we will need to leave the house and head far enough away from the Seireitei for me to show you properly, though this form has absolutely no relevance to me as I never need to use it for any reason. It is merely a shadow of the past." He said and got up from his position and offered me a hand.

BYAKUYA

I don't know why I decided to humour her. I suppose it didn't harm anyone and it hardly mattered if anyone knew. We simply didn't use our animal forms because we have grown out of them and no longer need them. Still, I didn't mind sharing a little bit of myself with her.

We stopped outside of Rukongai eighty, Zaraki. Here we would be less disturbed and we were far away enough not to be noticed by the Seireitei.

"You need to stay a good distance away from me. Once I can control my spiritual pressure I will come to you." I said to her and she nodded hesitantly. I stretched my back and rolled my shoulders, then I converted my body to pure Reishi. Eventually I felt released. I turned around to see her expression. At least she wasn't afraid. She looked up at me in wonder. I closed my eyes and focused on making myself smaller, eventually when I was about as big as a turkey I called out to her, thankfully she worse her gloves today, or else my talons would surely tear through her flesh.

"Rukia, hold out your arm." I asked her in my childlike voice. I didn't know why my voice sounded as a child's in this form or why Yoruichi's sounded male but things were as they were. She obeyed me and I leapt into the air. I flew around her a few times before I felt like I could land gently on her outstretched arm. I stretched my legs out in front of me and grabbed hold of her as gently as I could. I hovered my wings around me until I was sure that I was well enough balanced and closed them at my sides. Her other hand twitched slightly as if not sure what to do.

"You may touch me if you so wish, but please do not pull out any feathers." I asked her kindly.

"Who would ever want to hurt something as beautiful as you! But, what type of bird are you?" She asked me in wonder. I turned a silver eye towards her face as she brought her hand up to touch my wing.

"The form of the Kuchiki's is a phoenix. As you can see, I only have one tail tendril and only one crown feather, symbolling that this is my first life. If I am ever lucky enough to reincarnate, in the next life I shall have two of each and so on, that is if the family line doesn't end with me." I told her with the barest hint of sadness.

"Byakuya, can I please take a photo of you in this form? Have you seen yourself before?" She asked me timidly.

"You may only take a photo of me in this state if you swear to keep it only for your own eyes. I have glimpsed myself in the reflections of water, there are many more beautiful birds than I." I told her and she flicked my beak gently.

"Stop that. You are the most beautiful bird I have ever seen in my entire life! And trust me I have seen many birds in my lifetime." She told me as she searched her obi for the cell phone device. She took a picture of me before frowning.

"Do you think you could spread out your wings a bit? And look at the camera?" She asked. She winced slightly as I moved closer to her hand and spread out my wings. When she was finished taking her photos I decided to have some fun with her.

"Rukia, do you think I took you all the way out her to sit on your arm and be admired?" I asked her and she looked abashed.

"I guess not but what else do you want to show me?" She asked in confusion.

"You have seen Yoruichi's thunder god form as well have you not? She is not the only one with an elemental attribute, though I do not know how to maintain a mortal form as she does so I will have to ascend into the sky to show you what it looks like, remember it well because I do not like this form and would like to avoid it at all costs." I told her and she nodded excitedly.

I flapped my wings a few times experimentally before I launched into the air. Once I was high enough in the sky I let my physical form melt away completely, leaving my body as a massive lightning constructed birdlike creature.

I let myself grow in size until I was sure that I was the size of a small mountain. I screeched out and flew past Rukia, only grazing the ground below. Her hands covered her ears but her eyes full of excitement and fright were trained on me. I screeched again and breathed out a stream of lightning, obliterating a cliff in the distance. Once I decided that she had seen enough I worked on my self-control, trying to reign in the wild beast and centre my consciousness into human form.

Once I was once again myself, I felt absolutely exhausted and it was already dark out. I walked up to Rukia and groaned. I wasn't over yet, we came out so far as to not disturb anyone else or draw attention to ourselves but now it was far too far to walk back home. I would have to flash step us home. I sighed and put and arm under Rukia's arms so that I could pick her up easier to flash step. It took longer than usual though. A few minutes at least. I groaned and released Rukia so that I could drag myself to my room.

"Byakuya are you alright?" She asked me in concern and followed me to my room. I grunted in response and dropped to my knees on my futon and let my face fall into my pillow.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" She asked again trying to get some type of confirmation out of me.

"Everywhere." I told her, and at first, she didn't seem to understand me before she walked into my bathroom and began running a bath for me. I was touched at her kindness, but really it was my fault for being eccentric. I hardly ever tried to show flare, but being called a 'pretty bird' made me show off a little too much. I'm going to feel this in the morning. I grumbled into my pillow.

"Okay, you have to get up. The bath is ready. I know you don't want to do anything at the moment, but if you have a bath I promise to give you a treat afterwards." She offered. I sighed. I crouched on my elbows and bowed my neck before pushing myself back onto my knees. I was trying really hard not to show how sore I was but I couldn't help but cringe when I moved my arms. I wasn't used to transforming, and wings were very complicated. I was just about to close the bathroom door when she called out to me.

"Wait! What about your night clothes? I'm beginning to think you like being naked around me." She teased and my cheeks lit up. I looked forlornly at my closet before groaning.

"Could you please get out the blue yukata for me Rukia?" I asked and she smiled, happy to do something for me. She gave it to me and I thanked her softly before I closed the door and forced myself to relax for my bath.

RUKIA

I left Byakuya to bath while I looked for my scented oils. From what I observed, it was his back and shoulders that hurt the most. I had plenty of practice on Renji and Ichigo so I hoped that they didn't lie about my massaging skills. The last thing I want to do is hurt him more. By the time I I had changed into my nightwear I heard brother come out of his bathroom. I gave him a few minutes before I knocked at his door. He told me I could come in but he was already in bed laying flat on his stomach.

"Okay, you are going to have to work with me here." I said after placing the two bottles of oil next to him.

"What do you mean?" He asked with his face in the pillow. I almost laughed at the pitiful state he was in. no one would ever believe me if I told them about this.

"I mean, I am trying to give you your reward, but you have to take your shirt off." I said and he rolled his head to look at me.

"I will be fine in the morning, you don't really need to do anything." He said but I flicked his ear and he flinched before glaring at me.

"Let me help you. You will feel better sooner, trust me." I told him and smiled to try and encourage him. He really looked put out. Eventually he sighed and sat up, pulling the top of the yukata down so that his midsection was exposed.

"On your belly." I told him and looked away. He flopped ungracefully back onto his belly. He must really be in pain for him to act this way. Even around me.

First, I took out the muscle relieve oil and shook the bottle a bit. I hoped that he wouldn't mind me sitting on him but I straddled his butt and he didn't move or protest so I shrugged before pouring a generous quantity of the oil into the palm of my hand and placing the bottle beside me. I began rubbing his back, first softly before I grew more confident and started massaging him. He groaned and I paused.

"I'm sorry, am I hurting you?" I asked and he lifted his head and shook it before flattening his face back into the pillow. I took that as a job being well done. I continued until the oil was used up, then I poured some of the sakura scented oil on his back and began rubbing it in. It was meant to relax you, and it smelt really nice too. Eventually I finished and closed the caps on the bottles before climbing off of him. Then I heard it. A light snore. I smiled to myself, finally he let me help him. I covered him up warmly before going back to my room and tucking myself in. I talked to Kon for a while before I fell asleep.