Author's Note: This chapter is definitely leaning towards the crack side of things. This includes but is not limited to Ikkaku wearing floral print and Isane having a little crush on Zaraki. I don't know what came over me, but I hope you won't hate me too much after this.
The door to the office slowly creaked open, pulled by a pair of furry white paws. A matching pair of furry ears appeared in the doorway.
"Ken-chan? Will you read me a story?"
"Che, Yachiru, I'm trying ta nap. Go bother Byakuya."
"He's doing boring, noble-y stuff."
"Make Yumichika do it."
"He went to the real world with everyone else. Feathers and Pachinko-head, and Boobies and Whitey, and Pineapple and the Chappy girl all went to play with Ichy without us!"
"Ichigo, eh? They coulda told me."
"Right, Ken-chan! It's no fun being left behind. Can we go too?!"
"No."
"But Ken-chan!"
"No."
"Well, read to me then!"
"Yare yare. What do ya want me ta read?"
"The one with the rabid kitties and the frogs that eat people's souls!" Yachiru held up a green hat with large wiggly eyes.
"Ah, c'mon, Yachiru. Not the hat."
"It goes with the story! I wear the kitty hat and you wear the frog one."
"Yer too old for stories with hats."
Yachiru's bottom lip wobbled convincingly, her eyes wide and pleading.
"Please, Ken-chan?"
The large man sighed and sat up from where he had been sprawled on the floor.
"Yer sure Yumichika and Ikkaku are gone?"
"Yep!"
"Alright, alright. But ya remember what I said about not tellin' anyone 'bout this?"
"I won't."
"And ya gotta make those punks do something stupid for leaving ya here with nothing to do."
"Sure thing, Ken-chan!"
Kiyone and Rukia rolled on the floor, howling with laughter. Matsumoto was doubled over in a fit of giggles, and even Soifon and Nemu were chuckling. Unohana looked politely amused, and Isane was still in too much shock to respond. Nanao, however, was practiced in dealing with the most absurd behavior imaginable, and was simply smiling wryly at the photographs before them.
After several moments, the Shinigami Women's Association had calmed enough to discuss the pictures.
"Well," Nanao declared, "I think the pictures of Ayasegawa in full camouflage gear and Ikkaku in the floral kimono would bring enough money for the yearbook that we could risk it. I'm sure they wouldn't take revenge if Captain Unohana is involved."
"Really?!" Kiyone exclaimed. "I mean, these pictures are a little... awkward."
"Not nearly as bad as Kenpachi in the froggy costume," Soifon retorted.
"Right. We can NOT print that," Nanao said. "Honestly, I don't think Yachiru meant to leave that one with us."
"Aw! But not even Kenpachi could beat Captain Unohana!" Matsumoto complained.
"That doesn't mean he can't catch any of us when she's not around and make us pay for printing that picture!" Rukia fairly squeaked.
"I probably shouldn't be involved," Nemu said meekly. "I wouldn't dare use poisons on a captain, but I don't think Mayuri-sama could be bothered to defend my involvement."
"It is agreed then," Unohana decided. "We will print the pictures of Ayasegawa-san and Madarame-san. If their embarrassment proves too much, perhaps we can compensate them somehow to prevent conflicts. But we will not put the picture of Zaraki-san in the yearbook."
"We should make sure the photo doesn't fall into the wrong hands," Soifon offered. "Burning it would be safest."
"Oh, don't do that," Matsumoto pleaded, "it's just too cute to burn up!"
"Um, what if I hold onto it?" Isane suddenly suggested with a blush.
The SWA members fell silent.
"But what if he finds you with it?" Kiyone asked her sister after a moment of shock.
"I'll be careful," Isane stuttered, "but we shouldn't destroy it. You know... in case Yachiru wants it later, of course."
Nanao picked up the photograph in question and passed it to Isane as if it were on fire, not daring to argue if someone was actually willing to take the risk.
"Now that our yearbook business is concluded," Unohana said, casting a knowing glance at her lieutenant, "we can continue to other SWA matters."
Yumichika huffed indignantly, turning a rather unbecoming shade of red. "Why, if I ever catch the ugly fools who did this!"
"What are you going on about now?" Ikkaku grumbled. Yumichika tossed the yearbook at him with an enraged cry.
"What the...?!" Ikkaku hollered, jumping up.
The two men looked at each other, and then back at the yearbook.
"YACHIRU!"
The flaring reiatsu of some very strong, and very angry shinigami was felt by everyone in the SWA long before Ikkaku and Yumichika even neared their meeting room. Yachiru giggled with glee as Unohana and Nanao prepared to diffuse the situation with smooth negotiation and possibly an offer of sake.
They were surprised, then, when the angry spikes of spirit pressure stopped and then slowly dissipated.
"I've had it with that little twerp!" Ikkaku grumbled as he marched toward the SWA meeting. Houzukimaru was slung menacingly over his shoulder. "The head biting, the goofy baldy nicknames, and the embarrassing tea parties! But showing something like that all around Soul Society - that tears it!"
"Indeed," Yumichika exclaimed. "It was a completely undignified thing to do, printing such an unflattering photo of me. It's not beautiful at all!"
On they marched, shinigami either scurrying out of their way, or staring at them and feeling sympathy for whoever happened to be at their destination.
There were a couple who didn't get out of the way though. Three young women stood by the side of the path and pushed a fourth in front of the Eleventh Squad members.
"Um, ex... excuse me, Madarame-san, Ayasegawa-san. I'm so sorry... but... but do you have a moment to sign my yearbook, please?" The poor girl was quaking as she held up her yearbook, open to the page with the pictures of Ikkaku and Yumichika dressed opposite their usual styles.
Ikkaku pointed his sheathed sword at her. "Are you joking?!" he thundered.
"Nnn... no!" the girl exclaimed. "I just... we just... we all thought you both looked so nice in your photos that we wanted you to sign them for us. I mean, Fifth Seat Ayasegawa looks so fierce, and you, Third Seat Madarame, you look so refined here. But if it's too much trouble..."
Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at each other. These girls thought they looked good in those ridiculous outfits?
"Well, I wouldn't call it beautiful," Yumichika conceded, "but I suppose there is a certain grace to looking ready for battle. I'll sign your yearbooks."
He pulled a pen from his uniform and signed with a flourish in azure ink.
Ikkaku grabbed the pen the first girl offered and scratched his name on all four yearbooks.
The girls thanked Ikkaku and Yumichika, then backed away, smiling and bowing and clutching their yearbooks.
Ikkaku scratched his chin as he watched the girls disappear around a corner.
"Eh, Yumichika?"
"Yes, Ikkaku?"
"You still have that floral kimono?"
I'd be open to some suggestions for more yearbook adventures. I can't promise I'll use them all, but I realized I enjoy writing these more than I thought and I could use some fresh ideas.
