When Doctor Clark told Alex the shaking would start to occur in the course of the morning he wasn't lying. The blonde could feel his right hand shivering stronger with every passed hour until a certain peak was reached.
Even though Alex was really worried about his right hand, which was a really unlucky case as he was right-handed, he was glad only one of his hands was affected.
Unlike Doctor Clark had promised Alexander had to stay another night, because the test results weren't clear and he had to remain for observation.
Josh was all the time staying at Alex' side, he was worried for his boyfriend and he felt guilty. It hurt Alex to see his love feeling all responsible for what happened to him, but nothing was his fault.
Alexander felt completely handicapped and kind of ashamed, because of his nervous hand trembling. He always buried the shaking hand under the blanket except when Josh grabbed for it and squeezed and kissed it.
Somtimes the nurses or even doctor Clark came into the hospital room to look for Alex and ask for his state, but most of the time the two were alone.
The boys used the time to talk, mainly to distract each other and especially Alex from the tremor, but also to exchange what happened, which led to the situation that caused all this trouble to Alex and Josh.
Alex told Josh about his fight with his mother and Alex was more than surprised that his mother was so kind to Josh and that she even attended at the hospital room to look for her son. From what he could tell he thought she would never want to see him again.
On the opposite side Josh was as well surprised as Alex, because he had never possibly thought that Alex' mother was the reason why he ran away from home.
While they were talking they forgot the time and it was already getting really late. Sometime during their talks a nurse came in and placed a dinner next to Alex' bed, but Alex couldn't think of eating neither sleeping so he was really relieved that Josh was in his room and instead of eating his dinner Alex just continued their talk.
"Josh, you know, our relationship has been a rollercoaster so far and I know that I love you deeply, but do you think we are rushing things? I mean ... not that I don't enjoy every little moment with you, but I only know so few things about you. I just know that your living alone and that you've got a really sad family story. In return you know my story and that's already a big thing. No one else knows it but I want to get to know more about you. I want to know all the little things about you, like when is actually your birthday? It is hilarious we never talked about this... and what is your favorite color?"
"It's true Alex, our relationship was a bit rushed and we were boyfriends quite soon, but that just emphasizes the love we feel for each other. I really love you and I never felt like this before. And ..oh, we shared way more, like very hot kisses and I think we both saw each other naked for at least a mini second, so that's not too bad..." Josh replied with a playful wink.
Immediately Alex could feel his cheeks blush and he couldn't other than interrupt Josh quickly. "W-what, y-you saw me n-naked? How... When!? A-also I meant...like personal things."
"Yes, when I had to change your bandages the night you collapsed in the park after Jayden tried to... well.. you know, I also had to change your clothes and underwear which were blood-red and all soaked. I mean, not that I wouldn't have enjoyed the view but I just gave a quick glance to rush the fresh underwear upon your waist so you don't have to worry at all, I barely saw something."
"O-okay...I-I see" Alex answered with his cheeks on fire, he didn't know how to react, so he tried to change the topic but when he caught his breath Josh shushed him with his index finger which made Alex blush even more.
Josh giggled "I wasn't finished, cutie. So to answer your questions: My birthday is on July 12th. And my favorite color ... hmmm... I'd say it is blue but I also like greens. How about you?"
„Well my favorite colors are like aquatic colors, colors that resemble the ocean and exotic colors, I really like aquamarine or a romantic sunset orange." Alex answered.
Josh laughed. "You're such a girl!" He patted Alex' hair. "So... your birthday?"
"I am not! I'm 100% a boy!" Alex frowned but couldn't hide a pouty smile. "My birthday is on the 7th November, so in a bit more than two months."
"You are! You're definitely the girl in this relationship. So... do you want a pink pony for your birthday, cutie?" Josh enjoyed teasing him.
"Stop it! I am indeed male and no I don't want a pink pony." Alex giggled and rolled his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady!" Josh said with a serious tone but his eyes were playful.
Alexander sarcastically groaned and rolled his eyes. He patted the place besides his bed to tell Josh to lie down next to him. Directly Josh stood up from his chair and placed himself next to his boyfriend.
"Someone being all cuddly, hm?" Josh asked and gave Alex a kiss on his cheek.
"I'm greedy for human contact at the moment." Alex said after he received the kiss on his cheek.
"Is that so?" Josh replied and rolled on his side to somewhat lay half on top of Alex and afterwards gave him a gentle kiss on his lips.
Alex smiled. "I know what you're going fo-" he got interrupted by Josh sticking his tongue into the blonde's mouth. Alex eventually welcomed him and responded to the wet kiss until he realized where they were. Quickly Alex pulled away.
"J-Josh not here! They could come in any second."
"They? You mean the nurses that didn't show up at any time except twice? You are soooo the girl!" Josh laughed.
"I am just being careful; I don't want to make out with you almost naked, while someone is coming into the room." Alex said, ignoring the girl part again.
"Almost naked mhm, so you were planning to rip of all our clothes?" Josh smiled and drew playful circles on Alex' forehead.
"First of all, I said almost naked! This means at least underwear left on our bodies. And secondly, I wasn't planning anything, even though when I got such a handsome boyfriend."
"Yeah, sure. By the way, you're not so unsexy yourself, cutie pie" Josh simply said.
Alex blushed by such a choice of words. "I-I'm not so sure. I don't think that I'm really attractive."
"Then how do you think did you attach me to this handsome boy I'm now talking with?"
Alex blushed even more. "Luck?" He took a deep breath. "Did Josh slip closer or why did it get so warm in here" Alex thought.
"Shut up!" Josh yawned and shut his eyes. "If I wasn't so tired I would start a discussion about that now."
"Good you are, then." Alex moved a bit to the left side, so that Josh could move closer besides him. "Come on, join me and slip under that cuddly blanket." Alex requested.
"How could I deny that lovely offer?"
A second later Josh stripped off his denim jeans which left him in his boxer shorts and t-shirt. Now he sat directly next to Alex underneath the cover.
Josh put his left arm around Alex, who directly placed his head on Josh's well muscled chest.
"This is really comfortable." Alexander whispered and then noticed how tired he actually was.
Josh combed his hand through Alex hair and stroked the hair tips while massaging his forehead slightly, which caused Alex to quietly moan in pleasure.
"You really do love this, don't you?" Josh asked and smiled.
"I can't help it; I guess it's some kind of sweet spot?" Alex giggled.
"Seems so." Josh placed a kiss on Alex' forehead. "How... How is it feeling?"
"What? ...Oh. You mean... my hand, the tremor. To be honest, I somehow got used to it really quickly. Our talk distracted me a lot from it. Only sometimes like when I ...well, like previously, when I wanted to touch you it was really dominant. It just gets really annoying when I'm thinking about it or when I'm lonely and have nothing to do, just like when you were on the toilet a little while ago. Then it really bugged me and I... I started to bite my... nails. It lowered the trembling and I was focused on my fingernails."
"Cutie, that is a bad habit." Josh exclaimed and he could see that Alex shoved his hand deep under the blanket.
"Alex, show me your hand."
"No, I..."
Josh didn't hesitate to pull the blonde's right hand out of the warm cover. What he saw didn't look good.
"Alex! Your nails look like tattered! You almost bit down half the nail, some are even bloody! How long did you bite on them?"
"U-until you came back, y-your presence gives me security. I don't know I just felt... so frightened that you weren't with me and if you'd be gone then I had no one left." Alex admitted.
"Alex, I'm sorry, god." Josh whispered and tightened his grip around his boyfriend.
"You can't be blamed. You need to be able to visit the bathroom without me getting all nervous."
"No, that's not what I mean. This whole shit is my entire fault. You saved my worthless life but the fucking bottle hit you instead. You're the most important thing to me. I can't even protect the only person that I love. I can't lose you, my parents are like non-existent and you're really everything to me, Alex."
"Josh, you won't lose me. Sometimes I might seem weak but I'm not. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. I made my own decision to run away from home and luckily I did, because otherwise you could be dead by now. I can't lose you either." Alex shut his eyes and snuggled into Josh's chest.
Josh took Alex trembling hand, squeezed it and gave it a loving kiss. "Promise me to not bite your nails anymore. You can always call me when I am not with you or when I'm just at the toilet you can always scream my name to make sure I am there."
"I promise. Thanks. I love you, Josh." Alex softly stroked Josh's chest with his left hand while his head was laying on it and the right was still in Josh's palms. "You will stay the night here, won't you?"
"I hadn't planned any different. I will be right next to you when you wake up in the morning... or at any other time." Josh gave him a long and loving, gentle kiss until a yawn broke him away from it. "And I love you as well, cutie."
"Thanks." Alex quietly responded. Before he made himself comfortable to fall asleep on Josh's chest he made a quick glance to the clock, which said 02:13AM. Wow, it got late very quickly.
"Don't always say sorry, you deserve everything you get. Good night, cutie pie." Josh replied whispery but Alex had already drifted off to sleep.
A tall silhouette on heels made its way into the hospital room.
The noises the shoes were causing woke Alexander up from his dreams.
He slowly opened his eyes and noticed that he was still lying on top of Josh's chest, who was breathing quietly and even. Josh was sleeping peacefully with Alex in his arms.
Before he looked up to the person that made its way into the room he looked at the clock. It was only 5:43AM and he hadn't even slept for four hours.
Then Alex finally straightened his head and recognized the person that stood in the middle of the room right away. She was all too familiar to him. Alex didn't know whether to feel happy, afraid or angry.
"M-mom?" Alex swallowed. His mother was the person he least expected to visit him at such an early time and he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her, but he at least wanted to give her the possibility to explain herself. After all she'd been nice to Josh when Alex was being operated.
Mrs. Ludwig smiled at Alex and sat on a chair a few meters in front of her son. She made sure to face him and Alex already straightened his body in Josh's grip to see his mother's face better. Meanwhile Alex made sure not to wake up his boyfriend.
"You seem to be really happy with him." she said.
"Yes. I am." Alexander replied dull, he wasn't sure what his mother was striving for.
"He is really happy to have you, too. When you you've been in the op room he was here the whole time and waited for you. We didn't talk a lot but he really cared for you, he was really nervous and concentrated. His thoughts were stuck to you."
Alex started to feel the anger building up in his stomach. "Unlike you? I thought you were rejecting me, because the last time we saw us was when I confessed to you that I'm gay and you told me to fucking go in my fucking room!" The blonde's voice fell shaky and he could feel tears curling up in the corner of his eyes. He didn't want to cry but he couldn't help it.
For a second he was afraid he had woken up Josh, but the brunette was still sleeping.
Alex' mother said nothing. She looked down to her feet and stroked the longest curl of her ebony brown hair.
"You are right. I can't say sorry often enough and I don't know how to justify my behavior, but I want to tell you that I support you and Josh completely. You are my son and I for sure stand by you, it definitely wasn't your sexuality that made me sick. It was the fact you've hidden all these very important things from your mother and I thought you had rejected me. Just like when your father left us. I felt betrayed somehow, because I always told you everything and I thought I had no effect as a mother in your life anymore, that our connection was broken. I don't care if you love a girl or a boy, because in the end, it is love and love isn't what is between your legs, but what happens in your brain. I am happy as long as you're happy. I love you, Alexander." she said and stood up from her chair to give Alex, who loosened from Josh's grip, a tight hug.
"Mom please understand, I could never reject you, I just didn't know how to act with it and I didn't want you to worry, you are everything, besides Josh, that I love and I am so relieved that you still love me. For sure I will forgive you, it's not that I could ever hate you." Alex said and he wiped off the tears from his face, also his mother had tears falling down her cheeks.
"I couldn't reject you. Never. It was a stupid reaction and I regret it more than anything, because you ran away due to our fight and that is why you're here in this hospital. I can't stop giving myself the fault. I am so sorry for your hand tremor, it shouldn't have happened. I am so so sorry."
His mother cried even more than before and she tightened her grip around Alex.
"Mom, stop it! I also told Josh that I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I made my decision to see Josh in this very late night and if I hadn't he maybe wouldn't be here anymore. Besides I barely feel the tremor." Alex answered with a shaky voice and he lied. The trembling way very present, but as long as he could distract himself it was bearable.
"I will leave you now my sweetheart. I think you got good company." his mother said whilst looking at Josh, who was still sleeping, unimpressed by the two exchanging cries and louds. "Can I expect to see you tomorrow as soon as you're able to leave the hospital?" she added while sniffing a last time.
"Okay mom, thanks for coming. For sure you'll see me. I love you." Alex replied and gave her a weak but warm smile.
"I love you too, my son. You're everything to me." his mother exclaimed before she gave him a long, lovely peck on his cheek and then left the room as quickly as she came.
When she was gone, Alex snuggled back into Josh's chest, who directly tied his arms around him as if he had already been expected. Seconds later Alexander fell asleep.
In the morning, Josh woke up before his blonde, shy boyfriend. Josh had his arms still tied around Alex waist and while they were sleeping they somehow turned into a spooning position. Eventually Alex was little spoon.
Josh enjoyed the position for a few minutes before he rode up so that he sat upright and his back was meeting half the pillow and half the cool wall. Alex didn't seem to bother as he nonchalantly cuddled into Josh's chest and arms right after the little change in position. Josh smiled and brushed small strands of angelic, blonde hair out of his love's eyes.
Minutes seemed to pass and Josh just watched his boyfriend sleeping. He thought that Alex looked way too adorable while sleeping and Josh wished he could kiss Alex right now but that could wake him up and he deserved every bit of peaceful sleep. Josh then decided to be satisfied with a kiss on Alex' head.
This moment was just perfect, but then he found Alex' right hand trembling constantly below the cover and it felt like a hit into Josh's face. He then remembered why they were here in this hospital and thus he began to feel guilty again. He dropped his head and was soon about to leave a tear, but then he reminded that Alexander said he didn't want Josh to feel guilty and he didn't like it at all, so for Alex' sake Josh pulled himself together, but deep inside nothing could help to clean Josh's conscience. Not until his sweet boy would be healed.
Josh tightened his grip around his love and with the back of his one free hand he gently touched Alex' left cheek and admired the smooth, innocent skin on the cheekbones. Josh turned his hand and with the tip of his index finger he drove along from Alex' cheek down to his chin and then up to his sweet, soft lips that always had this pale and light shade of pink, which Josh loved to kiss. He didn't understand how someone as beautiful as Alex could still be single. He looked like an angel alive, so virginal, shy, delightful and sweet.
A few more minutes of Josh just watching his boyfriend asleep past until Alex seemed to wake up.
With still shut eyes Alex took a few deep breaths until he fluttered his eyes open. The light was crashing into his eyes, which caused him to blink heavily and keep his eyes closed for a few seconds until he could open his eyes again. Then he realized Josh's grip around his body and a smile came upon his face. He looked up to see Josh staring at him warmly.
"Finally awake, cutie?" Josh asked and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead.
"Were you watching me asleep?" he replied and then sat upright as well to face Josh, the warm cover stripping down from his body and a cool breeze hugging his torso. He rubbed his eyes and exclaimed a silent yawn.
Josh smiled, this right now looked super sweet, like a little puppy awakening from his nap. "Was he so cute on purpose?" he thought.
"Yeah I did. You looked really adorable to be honest, so angelic." Josh answered and brushed through Alex blonde hair.
Alex blushed. "I-I'm not adorable. Or angelic." he said and scratched his shoulder.
"You are! Just you're blushing and your stutter when you're sheepishly flushed is totally sweet. Don't put yourself down, you're amazing."
This didn't help Alex' blushing at all and he hoped to hide it with calming his left hand on one of his cheeks.
"I-well thanks. But... I don't really think so. Also I only slept so deeply, because I was laying on your chest so I could hear your heartbeat, which is really comforting and peaceful."
He tried to hide his blush but Josh indeed noticed it and he couldn't help but grin.
"See, listening to my heartbeat is probably the most adorable thing you could do."
Alex was getting slightly uncomfortable with all these compliments so he decided to just play the game.
"Well... it's not that I'm trying."
"You're a natural cuteness then." Josh said with a grin on his face.
Alex tried to change the topic and also the heat on his cheeks was getting to a point where it become unbearable.
"Stop grinning! Your perfect white teeth make me feel uncomfortable." Alex said and pulled on a strand of his hair. He should shower later; his hair was getting quite dull already.
"Oh well, you should ask me how I feel! Your whole beauty makes me feel uncomfortable." Josh loved this game; he could tease his boyfriend the whole day and water him with compliments just to see this cute, pink blush on his cheeks.
Alex couldn't do anything against it. For sure the heat was coming back to his cheeks and he could see Josh was already about to grin his teeth off, but Alex knew how to get his boyfriend's attention.
"Tonight my mother was here when you slept. Something about five in the morning I think. She, well... we talked and she is happy for me and she accepts us, which is the most important. I thought she had rejected me that night I ran off but she just... it was too much for her; she thought I had blocked her out of my life. But whatever the thing is, we're good again. She loves me and I love her of course." when Alex finished he had no air left in his lungs and took a deep breath. He kind of felt stupid; he must have sounded like a little child that is waiting for opening its presents on Christmas.
Josh directly hugged Alex tight. "I am so happy to hear this! I mean, I didn't know how to feel after you've told me how she reacted towards you when you told her about us."
He slowly leaned in and gave his blonde boyfriend a loving, deep kiss, without tongue connection. Just a kiss that lovers would give each other.
After a minute Alex broke the kiss to take a breath. "I-I am really happy, too. Especially now that I've got you and I don't have to worry about us. We will get through this and the doctor said it could already get better after two months, so let's stick to this hopefully."
Alex sentence brought Josh back to reality. Of course destiny couldn't mean it too well by them. Their situation was far from perfect, Alex had this heavy hand tremor, which also caused problems to concentrate clearly and in the end Josh couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty and responsible for all this.
"You're right, we can- will make it. I'll be there for you. I love you, Alex. You saved my life and I can't thank you enough for that."
"I know it, I love you too, Josh. This hand tremor, I know you can't stop feeling guilty about it, but it also didn't only save your life but mine as well, because what would I do without you? I would p-probably...do... suicide." Alex grabbed for Josh's hand and squeezed it.
"No Alexander, you won't try to take your life just because of me! When anything would ever happen to me, I would want you to live. Please, promise this to me. You deserve a long, happy life."
"Josh... you couldn't stop me. You know that you're everything I've got and you're also the most important to me. You're like the air I need to breathe so that I can survive. How could I go on without you?" Alex could feel tears filling his vision.
"No, no don't. Alex, please. If there is anything I would ever demand you to do then it would be this point. Don't cry, I'm still here with you and I will be for a very long time. I shouldn't have brought up this topic, I am sorry I just-" Josh got interrupted by a kiss on his lips, which forced him down on the pillow.
"Sorry, sometimes I just get a bit too emotional. You're right; no one of us is near death, so let's forget this silly, silly topic." Alex said. He couldn't deny that Josh had his guilty face on again, but maybe there is something that could cheer him up.
"...Also I know a way to make you smile." Alex added-
Alex rolled himself on top of Josh and rested his hands on his chest. He kissed him all over his face. Josh tightened his grip around Alex back and he let his hands slide down his backside until Josh's palms were squeezing Alex' rear. No one ever before touched this sensitive part of Alex and he seemed to enjoy it.
Josh took Alex and they turned them around so now Josh was on top of Alex. Josh kissed him with more pressure now and he licked his boyfriend's upper lip line to ask for entrance. The blonde didn't object at all.
"...Josh…" Alex moaned, dazed from the different feelings of pleasure and exhaustion.
Josh grinned, but he didn't want to do anything that Alex could regret later, so he gave him a gentle spank on his right butt cheek, which caused Alex to moan another time, and a last passionate French kiss until he broke the flirtation.
"Wha- What? W-Why? Why did you s-stop?" Alex asked with shut eyes while he desperately tried to refill his lungs with air.
"It's already 10:24, babe. The doctor or nurses will come soon and tell you the news whether you can already leave. We wouldn't want them to see me spanking you, would we?"
Alex shook his head and his cheeks immediately blushed heavily at the imagination of Josh spanking him.
Josh grinned and he could see right through his lover boy. "You enjoyed that didn't you?" his grin bigger with every said word.
"I-I-I don't...I-well, I l-liked the kissing." Alex answered. He felt like some kind of idiot. How could they ever go further when this little thing made him sheepish as hell?
"And you liked the pressure on your butt. I know it. I will keep it in mind." Josh still grinned and brushed through Alex' hair, which was now completely messy.
The blonde didn't know else to do but nod awkwardly. He didn't even know why he nodded but his cheeks were already burning by now and he didn't want to stutter another damn word.
It was seven in the evening when Alexander was finally back in his own room at home.
With a loud groan he left himself fall on his bed and kicked off his shoes. This took way longer than he thought. Josh and he talked till 12PM when finally someone came in and looked after Alex. It was the nurse from the previous evening with Doctor Clark to her side.
-
"Good Morning Mr. Ludwig, you can leave the hospital soon, but before we would like you to do some blood tests and fill in a few sheets of paper for your personal hospital tab and for preparations for the rehab sessions." were Dr. Clark's words when he came in.
Alex for sure agreed and he and Josh were really relieved they could leave so early. ...Well that's at least what they thought.
In the end, Alex had to do two blood tests, one allergy test, a basic brain test at his momentary state and also fill in the few sheets of paper, which in total counted 13 pages about any diseases, cases, accidents, rehab questions, etc. Alexander had to call his mother to come to the hospital, because some questions about insurances or any diseases, that Alex had as a child, weren't conclusive for him or Josh and sometimes they just didn't know the answer.
Not forget to mention they had to wait until the test results were clear, it made in total six hours later until they were finally finished and allowed to leave the hospital.
By the time they were entering into Alex' mother's car, Alex and Josh were about to starve. They didn't get anything eatable in the hospital and also didn't eat dinner last night. Alex' mother drove to a fast food restaurant's drive-in and ordered a few burgers, fries and soft drinks. As soon as the package was brought through the car window the boys pounced onto the food and ate it all in less than five minutes.
Unfortunately, Alex didn't react very well to the very fast eating, which made his stomach ache uncomfortably.
-
The blonde took a few minutes to calm down and enjoy the rest on his bed. His mother drove Josh to his house so he could get a few things to stay few nights at Alex'.
When Josh earlier visited the bathroom in the hospital, Alexander told his mom about Josh's story and that he has no one that cares for him at home. Of course, his mother felt extremely sorry and the least was to let Josh stay for a while at their house. She anyway had to do a few meethings with her sister, because Alex' aunt was moving to LA and Alex' mom decided to help her, so in the end she wouldn't be at home most of the time and someone needed to look for her son.
When Alex' phone vibrated he supposed it was Josh, who wanted to say that he's coming over now, but instead the name on the lock screen was definitely a surprise. Alex quickly unlocked the screen to read the message Claire sent him.
Alex it's been way too long. I miss you and I'm worried. I am so worried; I heard what happened to you. Police came to me and asked me if I could approve the accusations Josh exclaimed against Jayden. For sure I did. Besides they told me everything. I am deeply shocked that this bastard tried it a second time. I have to thank Josh so much. I hope everything is alright with you and that you didn't take consequences from the accident. I will come over now, I hope you're there and if yes then don't say no, because I am coming anyway.
Love Claire x
Wow. He hadn't expected such a message. So it was true, Jayden would get his punishment after so many years. The thought made Alex smile. Also, he would see Claire again, his all time best friend, he felt extremely happy, although awkward, since the last time they saw each other was the Wednesday they had their dispute. Today was Sunday, which meant they didn't see each other for four days, which are only a few, but it felt way longer.
The incidents that happened seemed to multiply the bygone time.
Alex' mother was currently at the supermarket to get some groceries and Alex was alone in the house at the moment. He took the time to exchange into fresh clothes and at least brush his hair and wash his face.
Then the bell already rang and it could have been either Josh or Claire. His mother got her own keys. Alex actually became already greedy for Josh again, but Claire would be fine as well, he missed her a lot.
He made his way down the stairs and opened the door; something inside Alex made him feel really excited.
"Hey, babe." Josh greeted and pulled Alex into a tight kiss.
"Hey." Alex said warmly and smiled. "Got your stuff?" He asked and grabbed Josh's hand and led him upstairs to his room.
"Sure I do! Where am I going to sleep?" Josh followed Alex into his room and then shut the door.
"What a question. Here of course." Alex replied.
"In the same bed?" Josh asked with a big grin on his face.
"S-sure, I m-mean, only if you w-want to." Alex stuttered again. He could slap himself for this annoying habit.
"Definitely." Josh responded and grabbed Alex' waist to pull him to his chest. "You have beautiful blue crystal eyes." Josh said and then kissed his lover's lips.
After a few seconds Josh noticed that Alex wasn't really into kissing in this moment. He broke the kiss. "Is something wrong with you, Alex?"
"No, I... -" Alex was interrupted before he could even finish his thought.
"Is it the same-bed thing? You know you don't have to share it if you don't want to."
"No that's definitely not it, I mean we slept in the same bed before.. a-and just because we sleep in the same b-bed doesn't mean that w-we...well, you...you know..."
Alex trailed off, he couldn't even think about that without blushing.
"Have sex." Josh finished his boyfriend's sentence and grinned ever so widely.
Now Alex cheeks were on fire and he could feel that the blush on his cheeks had to look like painted into his face. "I-I-I don't... you h-had to b-be so concrete, right?"
"Well, you brought up the topic." Josh chuckled and moved towards Alex. He squeezed the boy's hand and brought his mouth to Alex' ear. "Not that I could object, though." He whispered in a husky tone.
"Oh god, that's too much" Alex thought. "I-w-what?" He muttered, the younger boy was speechless and he felt extremely sheepish.
"Let's give him another tease." Josh thought and he roughly spanked Alex' rear, which caused Alex to yelp in surprise. "You know, you've got a perfect butt." Josh said.
Alex stared at him with an opened mouth. Josh knew what would take Alex' attention.
The younger boy definitely felt flustered... and a part of him felt really eager for Josh. He couldn't say a word and just waited for something to happen.
Then the doorbell rang.
"Oh god, finally." Alex exclaimed quietly and relieved and made his way down the hallway until Josh grabbed his hand.
"Wait, where you waiting for bell to ring?" Josh chuckled and looked Alex deep into his eyes.
"N-no." Pause and breathe. "It's Claire." He said and then quickly walked down the stairs.
"Gosh, when did it become so hot in here? Damn, Josh!" Alex thought while walking down the stairs.
Alex arrived at the door, took another deep breath and opened the door.
Claire wrapped her arms around the boy. "Oh god, Alex! You're okay. I was worried so much and- wait. What's wrong with your hand?" Claire asked and observed the obvious shaking in hand's right hand.
"It is the consequence from the glass bottle, which Jayden hit me with. It's a hand tremor and I will take daily rehab sessions that contains several, different brain treatments to heal the tremor and get the control over my hand back." he answered.
"Oh my god, this... this is awful. I am so sorry for you, but you're alive and this is what counts!" She pecked him on the cheek.
"I missed you, Clairy." Alex voice was shaky and he tried not to cry.
"I missed you too, Alex." she replied with a whimper and hugged him tight. They stayed in the hug for a few minutes.
"Come on, I will introduce you to Josh." Alex said and he went upstairs with Claire, who followed Alex closely.
"You look really messy by the way, so agitated. Anything happened?" Claire asked with a small chuckle.
"W-what? No... nothing." Alex answered bewildered. He hoped Claire didn't think about the same he just did.
Alex took Claire's hand and he opened the door to his room where Josh was already sitting on the bed and waited expectantly. Josh stood up quickly and gave Claire a small smile. He came to Alex' side and wrapped his right arm around Alex' waist.
"Okay so, you both actually know each other already, maybe, I don't know, say hi to each other?" Alex awkwardly said and waited for them to introduce to each other.
"It's nice to finally talk to my boyfriend's best friend." Josh said and shook her hand. "You really mean a lot to him."
"It's nice to finally meet my best friend's boyfriend. I knew he already had a crush on you for a long time before he even noticed it by himself." Claire said and gave a wink to her best friend.
"Oookay, so this was strange enough. All in all, I already had enough weird talks today so why don't you just tell me about Jayden, Claire?" Alex slightly blushed, thinking about the previous dialogue with Josh.
"Hun, what do you mean with weird talks?" Claire asked. She gave a look to Alex, whose cheeks were deeply pink and his hair was a mess in itself and then looked at Josh, who had a huge grin on his face and looked towards his boyfriend. Then it clicked. "Oh my god, you weren't really just about to sleep with each other, were you?"
"What?! Noo!" Alex answered a bit too quickly and yelped on his words. His face became even redder now.
"Well, personally I wouldn't block it, but little lover boy here is a bit prudish." Josh chuckled and quickly slipped over to his boyfriend and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"Oh god. Well let your hormones be hormones, guys." Claire said as she sat down next to Alex.
"Alright!" Josh said and Alex' expression gave him a huge laughter.
"W-Wha- No! We don't let hormones be hormones, n-nothing happened b-between me and Josh... I c-couldn't just yet!" And there it was. Alex said it out loud and everyone in the room had heard it. Alex felt extremely embarrassed and put the blanket over his head in shame. What would Josh think of him? He was such a fool.
"Hey, hey, hey." Josh said calming. It seemed like Alex didn't get the jokes. He slowly put the covers off his shy boyfriend's head and placed a sweet, comforting kiss on Alex' burning cheeks. "Babe, I was just messing around. You know I love to see your adorable blushing. It's alright, you don't have to worry. We will take the time you need before we're doing anything." Josh said and he managed to calm the blonde down. He turned Alex' face towards him and stroked his right cheek with his palm.
"I love you, Josh. Thanks for understanding." Alex totally forgot that Claire was still in the room.
"I love you, too, cutie." Josh said and kissed the forehead of his lover.
"Awwwww, how cliché!" Claire said and started laughing.
"Hey, we're in a complicated, gay romance, what else would you expect?" Josh said but laughed as well.
"Right, sorry!" Claire said ironically and then also Alex joined their laughing.
When they all stopped chuckling, Claire finally brought up one of the points that brought her here. "Alex, I need to tell you something."
"Spit it out." he replied and giggled as he slapped Josh's hand, which was crawling under Alex's sweater, away.
"It's about Michael. It's not a nice thing, though." Claire began.
"Michael?! What happened to him? Is everything alright?" Alex asked panicked and in Claire's eyes he could see that it had to be something that indeed wasn't good to talk about.
"Michael... he moved. He even left America, he moved to Australia and he told me to tell you that he'll write you a letter soon and explain everything. He also wanted me to tell you that he loves you like a brother." Claire calmly said.
"What?! How could he leave without saying a word to me? We were so close..." Alex replied and definitely didn't understand any of Claire's words.
"Maybe he was afraid to say goodbye. Some people can't say goodbye." She explained.
"But he did say goodbye to you, right? So why not to me?" He asked reproachful.
"I-I don't know. I'm so sorry." Claire answered. She didn't really know what to say, she was just as clueless as Alex was.
Alex shut his eyes for a moment and looked to his feet.
He somehow tried to distract himself and think about Michael later, now he really wanted to know what's up with Jayden. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.
"So, Claire. What's up with Jayden?" Alex carefully asked with a tired tone.
"Oh, right. So... bad and good news. First of all, he is very probably going to jail and the trial is in a week, but the bad news are that he probably only gets six months of imprisonment and six months on probation. The sexual assault he did to you two years ago seems to doesn't count anymore. They said that he did it when Jayden himself was still a child so he could had only gotten into a youth prison, but it's too late for that now. They said it barred. They claim it as some kind of childish, naive action, which he wasn't aware of at his young age." Claire took a breah before she added her thought, that was hunting her mind all the time.
"I am so sure Jayden's father bribed the bailiff so that the punishment will go weakest." Claire put her hand on Alex' shoulder and waited for a reaction.
Alex couldn't believe what he just heard. Sure, he was more than relieved that this monster was going to jail but only for six months? Alex was afraid, more than afraid, he was really scared, because in a half year Jayden would already get free to take revenge on him.
"I-I don't know what to say. They just claim the fucking rape as barred?" Alex eyes became glossy. "I was a child! I was only fourteen years old, how can they just let it ... expire?! It traumatized me for the rest of my teenage years and it definitely has effects on my relationship with Josh, how can they? He will get out in a half year and than he will come back to h-hurt me again." Alex felt a burning anger in his throat and he couldn't hold the tears back anymore, some from frustration, some from rage, some from fear.
Josh looped his strong arms around his crying boy and kissed his temple. "Shh. Let it all out, this fucker will get what he deserves. Sooner or later. I will help you with all my power. At least he can burn the fucking six months in the fucking jail now. Who knows, maybe he is going to fuck up with some other prisoners and this will extend his stay by a few months or years. Whatever, you are safe with me. I almost cracked him up once and let's be honest, no one expected that he would stand up again with that goddamn bottle." Josh pressed Alex tighter to his chest.
Alex let all the tears flow. He didn't know he still had so many tears left in his body but they were flooding in streams.
Memories from the penultimate night, the bullying, the rough incidents at school, the rape, Michael leaving him without saying goodbye and more awful thoughts crossed his mind.
Now all came together to a huge mess.
Josh always had this soothing voice that calmed Alex down, but nothing could stop the crying, even though Alex didn't want it.
Claire knew she should let the boys alone and come back tomorrow.
"Alex, I am so happy you've got someone to care for you. I will see you two tomorrow. Good night." Claire said. She squeezed Alex left hand and gave Josh a weak smile before she walked out of the room, went downstairs and left the house.
As soon as they were alone again Josh pulled Alex into his lap and laid down so Alex was laying with his head, held by Josh's right hand, on his chest
The brunette nonchalantly grabbed the blanket, which was laying next to them and put it over both, but made sure to completely cover his younger boyfriend.
Meantime, the sun was set and the night was dark. Josh switched the light off from the table lamp and kissed Alex' forehead and temple a few times. He knew those were the spots that would help Alex to calm down.
"My sweet, sweet, innocent boy. I am here for you. Let it all out, it's okay. You're with me." Josh held Alex really close and tight to his torso. He felt his shirt get warm and wet from Alex' tears still falling, but Josh didn't care, he only hoped his love would feel very better soon.
