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Chapter 7
Quinn stared out of the large window of her tiny room in the hospital. The room was about the size of her closet in the apartment she used to share with Puck. It had a bedside table with a lamp, a narrow twin sized bed, and a dresser with three drawers and a mirror mounted on the wall above it. Of course the requisite yellow painted brick walls and a small area rug in front of her bed to cover the bare cold blue speckled cement floor. This was a deluxe room. The Evans' spared no expense in making sure she had the best padded cell money could buy.
Quinn tucked her feet under the hem of her long grey flannel nightgown as she leaned on the headboard of the bed and continued to stare out into the darkness. In the distance she could see the lights from downtown sparkling like stars in the night sky. Quinn tried not to imagine what all the good people of Lima were doing on this January night. She bet they were all someplace warm, spending time with the people they loved. Dwelling on things that could never be was not an activity that Quinn allowed herself to engage in too often. Spending so much of her childhood in and out group homes forced her to live in the here and now. Dreams were only for those that were free to pursue them. Caged birds knew better than to wish for life beyond their barred existence. Quinn had always felt a little like a caged bird. She had her songs, but she never truly felt she would be free to sing them. Not even when she was touring the country and Europe promoting her first album, her only album, did she truly feel like her dreams were finally real. She was always looking over her shoulder, worried someone would catch her out in the world and drag her back to her cage. Of course those were just silly delusions, no one had ever come and destroyed her life, well no one but herself .
A tap at the door roused Quinn from her thoughts. She glanced at the clock on the dresser and saw that it was late. Lights out was announced hours ago. She opened the door partially to reveal Mercedes standing there in white wool coat, her hair in a sloppy side ponytail.
"It's late Mercedes, visiting hours are over. What are you doing here?"
"Just a little perk of being a nurse on staff and of course being married to an Evans. D&E Industries paid for this wing back in 96 I believe," said Mercedes as she pushed past Quinn and entered the room.
"Still using Sam's name. Last I heard you were eager to get rid of it. I guess the idea of giving up all that money and status is making you drag your feet." Quinn watched Mercedes examine the items on her dresser, lightly touching every piece as if marking her territory.
"Nice room you have here Quinn. Silk sheets, family photos, mp3 player, seems like you are benefiting from that Evans name as well."
Quinn stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed watching her. She held her breath as Mercedes came to the gold framed photo of her and Puck. It was one of the set they had taken at the lake. They had planned to use them as their engagement photos, but that never quite happened. Puck found out about her and Sam and all their plans went up in flames.
Even after they tried to stay together, when Quinn found out she was pregnant, things were never the same. It is an awful thing to feel like someone's obligation. Puck didn't want her, she was tainted, no longer a woman worthy of Noah "Puck" Puckerman's love. He was only interested in the baby. Even before Beth was born Puck seemed to know that Beth would need to be saved from her.
"A cell is still a cell. Being the slut Sam knocked up is far different than being his wife. Right Cede?"
"Your words, not mine."
"I have an early day tomorrow. If you would please leave my room, I need to get some sleep."
"Not so fast. We have a few things to discuss first," said Mercedes making herself comfortable on the bed, running her hands over the smooth silk sheets.
"Discuss about what? Is something wrong with Beth?"
"About time you remembered your daughter. You need to practice that concerned mother act a little more if you want to convince a judge you actually care."
"I do care. Tell me what is wrong with Beth."
"Beth is fine, and she'll stay that way as long as you are kept far away from her."
"You do know I'll be getting released tomorrow?"
"I wouldn't pack my bags just yet. I can't imagine any judge would find you competent to take care of a guppy let alone a child." Mercedes got up from the bed and stood in front of Quinn almost confrontational.
"I know you hate me. And I don't blame you Mercedes," said Quinn tearing up but willing the tears not to fall. "I hate myself most days for what I did to you, and Puck. But you have to think about Beth."
"I am thinking about Beth."
"She needs her mother."
"I'm not here to argue with you," said Mercedes dismissively turning away from Quinn to stare out into the darkness through her large window.
"Then why are you here?" Quinn was trying not to get agitated, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Mercedes was deliberately trying to bait her. She didn't know if Mercedes was itching for a fight or just looking for someone to blame. All Quinn was sure of was that she had to be on her guard around Mercedes. Somehow this little visit was starting to feel more important than it seemed.
"I just," Mercedes hesitated a moment and Quinn wondered if she were going to finish her thought. "I brought you a little something from Will." She took a photo out of her pocket, staring at it momentarily before handing it to Quinn. "He thought maybe it will bring you luck tomorrow."
"She's getting big. Her hair is so blond." Quinn ran her fingers over Beth's smiling face in the picture. Her bright green eyes were shining and the dimple in her left cheek was prominently displayed as she posed with a small stuffed bear. She looked like Sam.
"She can sort of sit up on her own now. I prop her up on the couch. She tries to reach for her feet and makes this scrunched up face, with those cheeks and that double chin, reminds me of Jabba the Hut from the Star Wars movies," Mercedes smiled widely as she talked about Beth. Her body movements animated as she illustrated Beth's chubby cheeks with her hands. "Sue says she looks just like Sam at that age. I can't imagine Sam this chubby. Can you?"
Quinn felt a tightness in her chest as she realized that Mercedes was getting to experience all the little moments that she should be having with her daughter.
"You let Sue see her?"
"She's her grandmother."
Mercedes was not this stupid. Sam had to have told her how his mother plotted to destroy Quinn's music career. So there was no way that Mercedes didn't know what Sue was capable of. Quinn's mind raced as she thought of all the ways that Sue could now hurt Beth.
"She's a psycopath! How can you trust her around my baby?"
"She loves Beth. Besides Sam would have wanted his mom to know his child."
Sue must have gotten to Mercedes somehow. Maybe they even made a pact to take Quinn down, to make sure she never saw Beth again.
"Sam knows that Sue hates me. He wouldn't let his mother near any child of mine."
"I disagree. And Sam is not with us now, so I am making all the decisions."
"Oh my God, I need to get out of here," Quinn said almost to herself as she paced around the room in a circle.
Her world was spiraling out of control and she was powerless to stop it. Her baby was being raised by a woman that hated her. By the time she got Beth back she would be so brainwashed that she wouldn't even know Quinn was her mother. Quinn felt like she was being erased inch by inch, losing pieces of herself into a dark abyss. She was screaming for help but no one could hear her. No one would grab her hand. In the past, Sam would have been there. He would have heard her cries and he would have pulled her through. But where was Sam now when she needed him more than she ever had?
"Yeah so, just in case tomorrow doesn't go as smoothly as you'd planned, I wanted you to know that Beth is safe. With me. I'll be here as long as she needs me."
"Thank you Mercedes."
"Don't thank me. I'll do anything to give her a happy life. I'll protect her from anyone that could do her harm. Even you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Get some sleep Quinn. Tomorrow is the big day." Mercedes tossed Quinn a parting smile as she left through the door.
Alone, Quinn's mind raced struggling to figure out exactly what just happened between her and Mercedes. It was something big, she could feel it, but she wasn't sure what it all meant. All this time, Quinn had felt that Mercedes looking after Beth was just a kind gesture. It was a generous favor that Mercedes was doing for her and for Beth. Now lately it seemed like Mercedes wasn't so kind after all.
She realized that Mercedes resented her. That was obvious, how could she not? She slept with her husband. But Mercedes had always been helpful toward her during her pregnancy. She even helped deliver Beth when they were stuck on the side of the road. Quinn had thought that maybe they had found some common ground. And when Mercedes was awarded custody of Beth, Quinn had been relieved. She was glad to know that someone that loved Beth was looking out for her. Something seemed to have changed. Quinn couldn't put her finger on what that difference was but one thing was clear, she had to get out of this place. She had to get Beth back and away from Mercedes.
