Disclaimer: Am I JK Rowling? Do I own this? Bitch I might be.
Previously: James and Lily try for a baby, and just when Lily thinks she's having a baby, the test turns out to be positive. Lydia herself finds out she is pregnant and gets rumbled by Sirius.
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Upon the news of Lydia's pregnancy, before hand, Remus didn't know how he would react to it. When the day finally came around that Lydia confessed to Remus that she was pregnant with their child, his reaction was not faked. He was overwhelmed with a future paternal feeling, that anything else that occupied his mind, any worries or concerns just vanished. Poof. Gone. They weren't there. The only feelings present were ones of joyous celebrations. If he ever had doubts about Lydia's pregnancy for the first few weeks, he would merely have to close his eyes and go to his sanction of blissful festivities and all the worries would vanish. Poof. Gone. Remus could not wait to be a Father.
Until the birth, there was still a lot Remus was animated for. There was decorating the Nursery and buying the crib and baby clothes. The ante-natal classes Lydia's sister-in-law was insisting she attended and the scans. The scans were what Remus was looking forward to most. He had missed the first one (Full Moon) which he had been devastated about, but he was grateful that he could attend the twenty-week-one, which is where they were on May 4th, anxiously waiting.
They were sat in a Muggle hospital, restlessly waiting to see their semi-developed baby properly. Lydia didn't wish to know whether they were having a boy or a girl, but Remus wanted to know. It wasn't his decision, he was told by Lydia's brother who had to wait to find out the sex of his two daughters because his wife didn't want to know, it was the Mother's choice, and no amount of pleading on Remus' behalf could convince Lydia otherwise.
But he tried, right up until last minute when they were waiting for their appointment with the Nurse to see the baby on the screen.
"Can't I just know and not you?" Remus begged.
"No. Because knowing you, you'll tell everybody and it will get back to me. I want it to be a surprise Remus!"
"I think having the baby is enough of a surprise, don't you?"
She nudged him playfully. "It takes two to make a baby."
"You're right," Remus admitted. "Which is why, at least I should have the right to know whether or not my future kin is female or male. Come on Lydia, please?"
She shook her head. "Nope."
"Please?"
"Nope."
"Please?"
"No!"
He crossed his arms. "Fine then."
A few minutes later they were called in by the Nurse to have their scan. They were lead down a uniform corridor into a room on the left where a woman, bed and a contraption were centred in the middle. Lydia was instructed to lie down on the bed and pull up her shirt, and she did as commanded. Remus took a seat next to her on one of the chairs by the bed and held her hand as the Nurse spread a chilly, transparent liquid on her stomach.
"This is going to be cold, Lydia," she warned seconds before she spread it.
Lydia said nothing and rolled her head to Remus. Lydia - who had no idea how Muggle contraptions worked, looked to Remus for help.
"We're going to see our baby in a minute on the screen," Remus whispered.
"How does that work?" She asked back.
Remus shrugged. "It's too complicated for me."
"Something Remus Lupin doesn't know? Must be a first."
Instead of retaliating, Remus pressed the Mother of his child's hand against his mouth in a loving gesture. Both of them turned their interest to the screen where they would soon see their future child in front of their eyes, and they could barely contain their exhilaration.
"Here you go: here's your baby."
It was an animated black and white video on a screen and, for all Lydia and Remus knew, it might not even be their baby - just one that had been saved previously, but that thought never crossed their minds. Lydia gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Remus, however, was silent and stared at the screen with adoring eyes.
"This is your baby's heartbeat," the Nurse informed, pointing to a part of the screen. "This is its face and hands and toes and the spinal column. From here... it looks... perfectly healthy."
Lydia sounded relieved and Remus, however, was dubious. "Nothing's wrong with it?"
"Nothing at all," the Midwife smiled.
"No... Abnormalities?"
"None at all."
"He's a worrier," Lydia elaborated and squeezed Remus' hand. "It's fine. Our baby's healthy!"
It still didn't calm Remus' nerves. How could he not be worried, though? He was a werewolf, it could be hereditary. What if something was wrong with the baby? What if he had cursed the unborn child? What it something happened to Lydia when she was giving birth?
He should have told her by now, he knew that, but could never find the time to tell her. There was no way he could tell her now; she'd leave him for sure. But he had to. He couldn't keep the secret forever, and the longer he did, the angrier she would be by it. But the hormones... He remembered what Lily was like when James didn't get the milk one time. She went ballistic. Lydia's reaction to his Lycanthropy would be Lily's reaction times one hundred. He was terrified of losing Lydia and even more terrified of losing the baby.
"Would you like to know the sex?"
"No," replied Lydia. "I don't want to know, and I don't want him to know, either."
"I'll agree with that," the Midwife laughed. "If the Mum doesn't know then the Dad doesn't know.
Remus said nothing, and just smiled at Lydia when she looked at him as the Midwife educated them what would happen during the pregnancy and birth. For now, he could put his silence down due to nerves, but in two weeks time he couldn't lie like that and Lydia would know something was wrong. She'd be so heartbroken...
...
Sirius had been planning this day for weeks. What he would say. What he would wear. What he would do and how he would react. Anyone would think he was getting married and not going home to visit his Mother. Home, what a sad excuse Number Twelve Grimmauld Place turned out to be. It wasn't home for Sirius when he was growing up: it was hell.
Never the less, he had to go back. He couldn't put it off. He hated his Mother. He hated Grimmauld Place, but there was a part of him just urging Sirius to return. Was it because it was the place his Father had died in? Probably not. Was it the last place connected with his baby brother? Again, probably not. Was it the fact that he had called it home for fifteen years? Sirius was not sure why he wanted to return - not sure at all actually; he made a vow to himself that he would never return. So why was he going back?
Grimmauld Place still looked the same. It was one of many terraced houses in a row in London and was a forty-five minute journey by foot from Sirius' current home. He did not walk there, he apparated to the street he grew up on and stared up at the house. Number Twelve was lodged in between houses Eleven and Thirteen and never, in anyone's wildest dreams could have imagined the largest house of all was just behind a drain pipe.
He looked around the dimly lit street and got out his wand. It was evening time, nearly getting dark and Sirius was hopeful nobody could see him splitting two houses apart. Luckily, no one did, and when the houses split, Sirius walked up the old, familiar steps and opened the door.
The house smelled damp and rotting, like his Mother hadn't bothered to order Kreacher to ever clean the place. The gas lamps on the wall were lit and the wallpaper was peeling off around the ceiling, corners and floor. It was exactly the same as he had left it.
He walked down the dimly lit, narrow corridor to the living room where he expected to find all his family still there and not dead. He expected to find his Father smoking a pipe, wearing his tartan dressing gown and maroon slippers, but the armchair by the fire was vacant, so there was no demeaning man occupying it. There was no small boy playing with his marbles on the ornate rug by the window. That spot had been taken by an ancient table and ugly, decaying vegetation. The only thing that was the same, however, was the chubby woman wearing incessant amounts of pearl necklaces and beaded bracelets and hideous, dangly earrings.
Sirius opened the door wider and the woman who was curled up on the sofa, seemingly upset, jumped with fright. She stumbled off the sofa and faced Sirius, a look of bewilderment on her face.
"Regulus?"
"No Ma, it's me: Sirius."
"Sirius?" He nodded. "SIRIUS?"
She rushed to Sirius and he expected her to hug him, to forget their past and welcome him back with open arms. Wrong. Sirius was so wrong. He had obviously forgotten how cruel his Mother was, as when she got over to him, she slapped him hard in the face, purposely making sure her nails etched into Sirius' facade.
"HOW DARE YOU RETURN HERE AFTER EIGHT YEARS? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO STEP FOOT INTO MY HOME? YOU SAUNTER IN HERE EXPECTING EVERYTHING TO BE LIKE IT WAS!"
Sirius stumbled backwards after the hit and, clutching his right eye, stared up at his Mother with pure unadulterated loathing. His Mother stared at him, almost surprised with what she'd done, and she stretched out a hand and touched Sirius' right cheek. He flinched, but she persisted, stroking him, soothing him.
"You look so much like him. Your Papa."
Sirius barked a laugh and stepped away. "I am nothing like that man."
"No, you're not," Ma agreed. "You're a much nicer man than he. Sit, please."
She indicated towards the Living Room, and he was surprised by her gesture, but complied, walking back into the living room. He was careful not to sit in his Papa's old position, so sat on the other end of the sofa from where his Ma was previously sat. She sat down delicately, and given her composition, it seemed unlikely she could possess such quality, yet she managed.
"How have you been?"
"Fine."
"I gathered you heard about Regulus."
"Yes," he said bitterly, "yes I did."
"And your Papa?" Sirius nodded again. "You have to understand how hard that was for me, Sirius; I lost the two men I loved most in my life within the space of six months. Grief like that can't just go away. One can only blame me for trying to reconcile with the third I love."
"Got yourself a new beau?" Sirius spat.
"No," Ma shook her head. "You."
Sirius snorted. "Like you said, you had eight years to do that. I seem to recall that I was the one who returned after eight years. After being burned off the family tapestry. Oh yes, Ma, Andromeda told me."
"Andromeda is a whore." She said it so easily, like she passed judgment like that daily (and, she probably did). "She married beneath her, had sex before marriage - committed a sin! Committed fornication!"
He sniggered. "You don't think darling Bellatrix and Rodolphous waited until they were wed, did you? Or sweet Cissy and Lucius? Regulus - me?"
"I know just what you were up to you ungrateful SWINE! The posters on your wall - Muggle women in bikinis? On motorbikes?"
"What can I say? Motorbikes are cool."
"You still have yours then?" Ma hissed.
"Sold it," Sirius sighed. "Got Harry for a while, didn't I? Realised I didn't miss the bike as much as I thought I did so I dumped it on some teens for a couple of hundred quid. See, that's what I do when I no longer need stuff: I get out while I still can."
"SO WHY DID YOU RETURN?" Ma screeched, getting off the sofa. "SO WHY DID YOU COME BACK, GROVELLING ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES, BEGGING TO BE TAKEN BACK?"
"I DON'T REMEMBER THAT. I REMEMBER YOU SLAPPING ME AND THEN TELLING ME TO SIT DOWN! I DON'T REMEMBER FALLING ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS - BEGGING FOR YOU."
"I don't need this," Walburga stressed. "Get out of my home."
"I came here to make amends," Sirius remarked. "Now I see that is a waste of time."
"You don't care about anyone but yourself."
"On the contrary, I care about a lot of people: I care about my Godson and I care about James and Lily. Remus I care for and even his girlfriend Lydia and I'll care for their unborn child. I care about bringing justice to the world and I care about what my Ma thinks of me. So go on, tell me to get out. Call me a spiteful swine once more and I'll leave. I'll be out of your life and you'll have no one left for you. No one left to care about you, no one left to love you."
Ma glared at Sirius through her narrow slit eyes. "Get out of my home."
"You're going to regret this," Sirius snarled. "You're going to regret getting rid of me on your deathbed with no one beside you. I'm pleased Papa's gone with the dust; he'd be so ashamed to see you like this." Walburga was astounded, and Sirius barged past her as he prepared to leave the house. "I'll show myself out."
He headed straight for the door, but slowed down when he heard his Ma's footsteps behind him. "Sirius - wait."
He turned around. He'd had enough with her vindictive bullying and lies for one day. "Go fuck yourself."
"Don't talk to your Ma like that," she scolded weakly. "Please. You're still my son. I still love you."
His heart bled for her, almost. Half of him wanted to turn around and embrace her, but the other wanted to storm out the door. The stronger side won, and he opened the latch of the door, and with a final look to his Ma, slammed the door shut in her face. In his family. In his old life. Dead to him.
...
While James was waiting for his two best friends to meet him by the fountain in the Plaza in the Ministry of Magic, he was confronted by another man. It was a man he knew all too well. The man was bizarre looking, and his face was not a face you would ever forget. He was a stout man with a horrific face. He had a deep scar from his forehead, through his left eye and down to the bottom of his nose and also possessed a glass eye. His shoulder length blonde hair was thin and greying, and quite like you would expect him to be, judging by appearance, he was a frightful man.
"Alastor Moody, sir," James greeted. "How - how have you been?"
"I've been better boy," Alastor replied. "I've been meaning to see you. Asked Dumbledore the other month to give you a message. Don't expect the old coot to remember, mind."
"I - I haven't seen him since Easter," James reasoned. "How have you been?"
"You're repeating yourself boy. I've got a proposal for you."
"A - A proposal, Sir?"
"Don't worry Potter; I'm not going to get down on one knee."
"No, of course not, Sir."
"No, of course not, Sir," Alastor Moody mimicked and sat beside James on the fountain. "What you been doing lately then? How's your wife and kid?"
"Lily - oh, she's fine and Harry-"
"-I know about Harry. We all know about Harry. I don't care about them. I was just being polite."
"Oh."
"Well, I care that they're safe; Pot - Lily being in the Order of the Phoenix with us and all... anyway, I have a proposal for you. As you know, I'm Head of the Auror Office, and I want you to come and work for me."
James blinked. "I - I'm sorry."
"I want you to train as an Auror and come and work for me."
An Auror was James' back-up plan in life if he ever ran out of money. An Auror was a very good job, and to just be offered one was remarkable... but it wasn't something James wanted to do. He wanted to stay at home and look after Harry, Lily and their future child. Not go swanning off to work and leave Lily in the lurch to look after two children.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm going to have to decline."
"What?"
"We have a child, Lily and me, Sir, and we're planning on having another one soon. It wouldn't be fair to Harry, Lily or the baby if I'm away all the time training to be an Auror. What with my time off, I would never qualify as an Auror."
"Don't train then. Just have the job. You're a bloody good fighter, Potter; I want you on the team."
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm going to have to say no."
Alastor eyed him. He hadn't expected James to refuse his offer - a remarkably good offer, might he add; he never went round offering jobs to just anybody. James was a fool to not take him up on it, but there were equally good duellers out there, and Alastor could find one. So he slowly got up, and took a calming swig out of his legendary hip flask.
"The offer's still there when you're ready. Good luck with your... with your baby making. Give Harry and Lily my best and well... Until we meet again, Potter."
"Sir, it's a very good offer - it's an honour that you'd ask me so suddenly, but my family comes before a job I'm afraid. I love my family more than anything else in the world so-"
"-I get it boy; no need to rub your family values in my face. Good afternoon and good luck with... life."
"Yes, thank you, Sir."
In shock, James watched the old man hobble away. Alastor Moody was famous Nationwide; half the cells in Azkaban would be empty without him, and people respected and admired him. People cleared a path for him when he walked through. He resembled Jesus parting the seas like in a story James read a long time ago. Sirius was one of those who stood aside for Alastor Moody, and joined the younger man at the fountain.
Sirius was wearing a suit and tie, and had most likely just been in court ridding the world of criminals who gave Muggles hexed items and watch and laugh through their living room windows. Sirius immediately asked: "What did Mad-Eye Moody want with you?"
"He offered me a job."
"What?" Sirius asked in surprise. "That's amazing! We're going to be working together!"
"I declined."
"What? Why would you do that?"
"Because I have to stay at home with Lily."
"What? It's an Auror job! One of the best jobs at the Ministry! It's an honour that he'd ask you at all."
"That's what I said," James informed. "Where's Moony?"
"He sent Lydia to come and find me to say that he'd be late. Apparently, he's telling Amos that they're having a baby. I expect Lydia got out there pretty sharpish."
"I saw her pass me when Alastor came over. She looked nervous."
"I'd say," Sirius agreed. "So what, are we going to wait for him or just go to lunch without him?"
They decided to wait at the fountain for their friend. Several minutes passed and he still had not arrived. Just as they were about to leave, Remus arrived, looking rather dishevelled and exhausted and relayed his events of the past morning.
...
It was best to tell Amos that he and Lydia were expecting a baby before it was evident on Lydia that she was expecting. Remus had an idea that Amos knew about their relationship, but he had never mentioned it to them before, so that made Remus doubt his previous speculation...
Never the less, when the clock struck twelve o'clock and everyone was preparing to leave for lunch, Remus went to see his co-worker. Amos left at twelve o'clock daily now to look after his child so Remus was boss from twelve onwards. Twelve o'clock was the only time Remus was vacant and the only time he could speak to Amos. So Remus took that on board, and a few minutes towards twelve, Remus tapped on the boss' office.
"Enter."
Remus complied and entered Amos' office. It was completely identical to Remus', except that the former's office was a lot less tidier than the latter's: paperwork littered on the desk, books strewn on the floor near the shelves Amos used as a bookshelf, the bin almost overflowed and incessant dirty, coffee mugs piled on his desk that he hadn't bothered to clear up, though it would merely take a flick of his wand to sort them out.
"Ah, Remus. What can I do you for today then? Need some extra time on your reports again, is it?"
Remus shook his head. "No. It's um... about Lydia."
"Greengrass?" Remus shook his head. "What's she done this time? She's gotten herself into more hassle than she's worth that one... I ought to fire her..."
"No, she hasn't done anything wrong," Remus defended. "The complete opposite, actually. It's just-"
"-Remus, stop. I can't let you go on like this. I know about you and Lydia."
"Oh," Remus said, "oh. Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you?"
"I - I don't know. I didn't want Lydia to lose her job I suppose..." Remus paused. "That's a pretty bad excuse now I say it out loud. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't think anyone would be alright with it."
"The rest of the work force approved; they were placing bets on how long you'd stay together. I placed a galleon bet on the two of you."
"Thank you for the vote of confidence."
"Is that all you came to tell me? That the two of you are together?"
"Not exactly; Lydia and I are having a baby."
Amos literally froze. He was flicking through a small file and was mid-way turning a page when Remus confessed him the news. "I - I don't know whether to congratulate you or not."
"Everyone else just congratulates us. If you don't though, I'm not surprised; it came as a bit of a shock to me when I found out, too."
Amos rose and strode round the desk. He extended his hand and Remus gladly shook it. "It's going to be hard for you, Remus; looking after a newborn kid and having to go away once a month. There isn't any threat to the baby, is there?"
Remus withdrew his hand. "The Midwives and Nurses at the Hospital have said there looks to be no abnormalities."
"I take it you still haven't told Lydia?" Remus shook his head. "You need to do it pretty sharpish, because if the baby does come out like you: a werewolf, she's going to be very angry when she finds out you've kept it from her."
"Right now I'm keeping my fingers-crossed that she won't need to know. I'll tell her after the baby's been born; I don't want to stress her out."
"It might be too late."
Remus bowed his head. "I know," he admitted. "But I can't see it happening any other way. If she wasn't pregnant I would have told her by now, but she is so I can't. Please don't tell her, Amos, let me do it myself."
"I'm not going to tell her," he decided. "It's none of my business: strictly yours. Remember, if you ever need anything, Agnes and I are always here to help you, and if you ever need a babysitter when your little 'bundle of joy' is born, you know where to go."
Remus had no desire for Amos and Agnes (Amos' wife) to babysit their child. He had James, Lily and Sirius for that, and he wasn't sure he trusted Amos enough to look after his baby.
"Thanks, Amos."
The elder man smiled and grabbed the werewolf's shoulder. "Right, I best be off then. Good luck for the rest of the day and I shall see you tomorrow at nine o'clock."
"Of course, Sir."
Remus left Amos to pack up his things. That had gone a lot better than Remus had expected, he had been nervous over nothing. Lydia had already gone and it was ten past twelve. Grabbing his robes from his office and some money, he got in the lift, went down to the Plaza and met with James and Sirius by the fountain like agreed.
"So how did it go?"
"Pretty well," Remus smiled. "Pretty well."
...
When Remus returned home that evening after dinner with James and Lily (Lydia did not attend because she was unwell) Remus returned to find Lydia lying in bed reading the unfinished book Remus had previously been re-reading:Of Mice and Men. She had almost completed it, and that wasn't a particularly hard task; the book was only short and very entrancing.
Lydia did not look up from the novel when Remus entered the bedroom, and Remus took it upon himself to announce his presence: "I first read that book when I was thirteen and ill at Hogwarts, and when Sirius saw what I was reading, he tore out the last seven pages from the book. I had to search everywhere for them - turns out they were by the Whomping Willow the whole time. Hell of a task to get them back mind, but it was worth it. Great book that is."
"Some of it is," Lydia agreed and closed it, placing the book on the bed. "I've been thinking, seeing as Amos knows I'm pregnant now, is he still going to send you off every Full Moon to do your reports?"
Remus bit his lip. "Probably."
"That's not very fair though," Lydia declared as Remus began to undress. "He can't expect you to leave me once a month once our baby has been born, can he?"
"No one else will go," Remus replied. "Does it bother you that I go presently?"
"I miss you," Lydia answered. "I hate when you're not here, beside me in bed and it's always cold." From across the room, Remus smiled at her, but she didn't appreciate it. "Don't patronize me, Remus."
He shook his head. He was going to counter that he wasn't patronizing her, but the girl was five months pregnant, and even so early on he knew not to counter her on an argument. "Sorry. But Lydia, my job is very important, and I can't abandon my project so premature into my investigation."
"So you're willing to abandon me and our child, thanks Remus: thanks a lot."
"That wasn't what I meant-"
"-No, no of course not. With you it's work, work, work and more shitty, boring work. What's going to happen when the baby's born, eh Remus? Are you going to dump it on someone if you get an owl from work saying they 'desperately need you' for a dangerous job that only you can do? There's a reason no one else does it; because they're not as stupid as you."
"You're just tired, Lydia. Calm down-"
"-NO! Don't tell me to 'calm down' Remus Lupin. I've had enough of this," she began to get out of her.
"Wh - where are you going?"
"To my Mum's, where she'll put me first and not her job."
Remus laughed. "Get back into bed."
"No. I've had enough of this, you not taking me seriously. There's something you're hiding from me, I just know there is! Lily, James and Sirius know it, too; the sympathetic look they give me whenever I'm around like they feel sorry for me."
"Anything I do, I do it to protect you and now the baby. Get back into bed!"
"Even if it means leaving us every Full Moon?" She asked coolly. "I've had enough of this; it's either me and the baby or your work."
"Lydia-"
"-Don't Lydia me, Remus. What's it going to be - your 'precious' reports or us?"
This was exactly the sort of thing everyone had warned him of. He now understood that he had to tell her the truth, and this was a perfect time to do it. What, when she's angry and hormonal, giving you ultimatums and threatening to move out? Perfect timing, oh yes, perfect timing. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd pick Lydia and the baby any day of the week, and if it meant changing the story of where he was going - or perhaps even going away for one night instead of six or seven, he'd do it.
"I choose you. Merlin, Lydia I'll always choose you."
"So - so you'll be there for us, twenty-four-seven?"
Remus nodded and walked over to her. He took her hands in his. "Twenty-four-seven. I'll tell Amos tomorrow that once the baby's born someone else can tackle the project."
"Do you - do you really mean that?"
The werewolf kissed the temple of Lydia's forehead. "Of course. I love you and I love our child. There's nothing else I'd rather have in the world than you two because I love you, I always have and I always will."
"I love you too," she whispered, her voice hoarse, shaking because she was on the verge of tears. "Oh Remus, I love you so much. I could never leave you no matter what." Remus was sure he could think of one reason - maybe two - why she'd leave him. "I promise I'll always be here with you, just like you will with me."
"You don't know how much that means to me to hear you say that," Remus confessed.
She threw her arms round Remus' waist. "I'll always be here with you, through thick and thin. You can't ever get rid of me, no matter how hard you try."
Remus suspected he wouldn't have to try very hard. Sometimes just telling the truth was enough to make someone you love leave you. Easily said and done, Remus supposed, with one declaration Remus could lose everything he loved most in his life. He was lucky that Sirius and James never left him, in ten years of them knowing about his 'Furry Little Problem' and still, to this day they were with him for every Full Moon. Would Lydia be as understanding as them? Remus hoped so. He really hoped so.
