Chapter Seven

Swollen Nightmares

Hey people! I have an announcement to make. My other story, "The Race for Harry Potter" will be put on hold until June. I'm sorry about the inconvenience; I am trying to gather all the thoughts in my head to make the story run smoothly. I have written several drafts for the eighth chapter, and they are coming along nicely. I will update! Again, I'm sorry. Thank you guys for all the support and reviews, believe it when I say, you guys truly inspire me to write at my best ability!

While I do that, I have updated more on "Not Yours to Keep".

Enjoy, and keep reviewing! Love you all!


Buried Myself Alive

you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time

-the Used


Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast that Saturday morning, holding the Daily Prophet in one hand and a small purse in the other.

Today was the very first Hogsmeade trip of the new school year.

Harry smiled up at her as she stood behind him, taking French toast from his plate and plucking it in her mouth. She leaned over his upturned face and kissed him soundly on the lips.

"You're happy this morning, actually, you've been in a good mood for a few days now," Harry said, turning around to face Hermione. He removed his long legs from under the table and placed them on either side of Hermione. She stood a little closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pushing his face into her stomach.

"You smell…so good," Harry breathed.

"Thanks, I've been using some new stuff mum sent me from home."

Although Hermione had just publicly kissed Harry, and enjoyed it, her insides were burning with a white hot pain. Somewhere in the Great Hall, Draco was watching the two, trying his hardest not to become jealous, but, he knew he had no control of what the potion thought to be disobedient to it.

Harry reached behind him to pull his plate in front of him.

"Take another one; you're becoming way too skinny for me Hermione!" Harry said jokingly. She flinched. She had forgotten that Harry was really watching her. She smiled warmly at thinking about this.

"I love you Harry. I wouldn't become too skinny! You might run off with someone a little thicker than me!" Hermione regretted saying that, because as the words slipped from her mouth, Ginny Weasley and her gang of Sixth Year girls entered the Great Hall. All with their perfect thick figures showing tremendously through their tight jeans and knit sweaters. Ginny had her hair flowing down her shoulders, her skin a rosy tone, not unusual for her and her blue eyes twinkled as Harry devoured her, smiling and winking at him. Hermione punched him in the shoulder.

"Hey, hey…!" Hermione grabbed Harry's chin and jerked it toward her. He looked up at her, startled and slightly angry.

"What?" Harry asked, trying to keep a calm tone.

"You…you…have syrup on your lips," before Harry could lick his lips Hermione quickly kissed him, making him believe that no syrup was left behind after a kiss like that. Harry smiled up at her devilishly.

"You're sneaky Hermione Granger…very sneaky," giving her a lopsided smile. He pulled her down to kiss her again, making it slow and passionate. She closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, enjoying this side of Harry. When he pulled away, Hermione batted her eyes childishly and pouted.

"You're no fun!" Hermione exclaimed. She breathed in a sharp gasp as Draco appeared from the corner of her eye. For a second, she thought he was going to come over to them, but he left the Great Hall, not even sparing her a glance.

She shook herself out of her horror of alienation, and smiled again at Harry.

"Let's get going, shall we?" she asked, grabbing Harry's hand. Harry let her drag him out the hall, smiling. Hermione felt her heart beating hard and fast. She wanted to eagerly go up to Draco and kiss him like she had kissed Harry in front of everyone. Hermione stood next to Filch and his greasy clipboard.

"I need your permission slip, the both of you." Hermione held up her slip, and Harry held up his. They stepped out into the cool incoming fall air. Hermione clenched her sweater in front of her as the wind kicked up.

"Are you cold? I can put a warming spell on you," Harry offered leaning forward as they walked to peer at her face. Hermione shook her head.

"No, but thanks…" Silence engulfed them for a while as Hermione tried to swallow guilt and figure out what she wanted to talk to him about.

"Are you okay? You're so quiet, it's unlike you," he laughed, "You're scaring me Mione!" Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his little nook. She cursed herself as she realized that she fitted perfectly into it. As they walked, she conjured a mental image of their bodies molding together, she flinched.

"Hey! Whoa, what's with the jerking about?"

"I'm sorry, actually I was getting chilly." As soon as Hermione heard the lie come from out of her mouth, Draco walked by, arms wrapped fully around none other than Pansy Parkinson.

Her short black hair and pug-like face made Hermione blanch at the sight of her. She wore thick green eye shadow, and thick eyeliner. Her street clothing consisted of a tight mini skirt and halter top. Hermione swore at Pansy's attempt to sway Draco by exploiting her small unnoticeable breasts and skinny-chicken-legs. Draco coolly shot Harry a look and grinned. Harry stared at Pansy with obvious disgust and moved to clench Hermione's hand.

"What Potter? Your girls not giving it up to you like mine are?" Draco asked, nodding at Pansy.

"For you information Malfoy, there is no "girls", just one," Harry said, staring daggers at Draco.

"Sod off Potter. I'd probably be able to shag your girl before you do, and she'd be remarkable shag."

Hermione's heart stopped as Draco said that. Her mind exploded. She felt that their little escapade had just blown up in her face. She felt weak in the knees as she saw Harry mouth words that she couldn't hear. Draco had pushed Pansy from out of his arms and lunged at Harry.

She felt herself be pushed aside by either Draco or Harry as they fell on the floor together, rolling around in the grass.

Hermione mindlessly walked over to a nearby rock and sat on it. Her chest was burning with the white heat. The curse engulfed her as she slid off the rock and onto the grass. She remembered hitting her head against a sharp rock as she fell sideways, letting go of her worries.

"Fuck Potter! Hermione is hurt!"

"You bastard, Get away from her!" Harry leaned over, clenching his midsection as he stood to aide Hermione, but Draco was already there, her head on his lap.

"Wake up Hermione; fuck...she hit her head!" Draco touched the part where Hermione hit her head on. He brought out his wand and softly placed it over it, whispering an incantation. Hermione's eyes fluttered open and she quickly threw her arms around him.

"Oh God Draco, I thought…I thought you would hate me, if…if she was around."

She looked up to see Draco draw away from her, disgust screwed onto his face.

"What the hell are you touching me for mudblood? I just didn't want you to die; Millicent isn't next on my list of Head Girls." Draco stood up, pushing her away from him. Hermione shook herself and threw him a nasty look.

"You bloody arse, leave me alone!" Hermione screamed from the ground. Harry had come behind her to help her up. Draco grabbed the back of Pansy's neck and walked away, leaving her looking at the back of him. Harry looked down into Hermione's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"My head hurts, and I feel like I'm about to vomit."

"C'mon, let's try to get you to the Three Broomsticks. Maybe some hot butter beer will calm you down." Harry took her hand in his. Hermione glanced at their entwined fingers and sighed, "You're too good to me Harry."


"You've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat…

But you're only counting the clock against the train…

And I'm miserable. And you're just getting started."

-Taking Back Sunday


Hermione smiled at her two best friends sitting across from her, in their favorite spot. The Three Broomsticks was crowded as usual, and people shouted and pushed each other even more. They had found Ron sitting alone in a corner, a dark haired boy with almost purple eyes walking away from him.

"So, he was asking you what again?" Harry asked Ron who blushed deeply. They were all seated together, sipping from hot butter beer and hearing Ron's tale f being propositioned.

"He…err…asked me if I was…err…gay," Ron muttered. Hermione howled with laughter.

"I mean, do I come off as gay? I might not date, but I'm, okay…not that there's anything wrong with it."

"Well Ron, some people are just stupid. What did he want? To take you out, have a little brunch?" Harry asked laughing.

"That's exactly what he wanted. But I politely turned him down; I guess it was just all a misunderstanding," Ron said, clearing his throat to change the subject.

"You know what guys; I have to run to send a letter to my mum and dad. I'll be back in a few." Hermione said, smiling warmly. Harry stood with her.

"I could come with you?"

"No, stay with Ron, it's a quick one-two-three Harry! I'll be back soon, order me another beer." Hermione zipped up her sweater watching the muscles in Harry's face clench and unclench.

"You'll be okay? The owl service is almost a twenty minute walk!"

"Harry, please, don't worry about it! I'll be back in a quickie!" Hermione leaned forward to kiss Harry softly on the lips before leaving the pub. She allowed for the door to shut loudly behind her. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what to do. Harry's green eyes burned deeply into her head and she shivered. When she looked at him, she found a future, she found understanding and love.

When she looked at Draco, she found lust, deep and angry lust.

She searched the street for him. He appeared behind Honeydukes, a small black bag held tightly in his hand. He motioned her over and drew her into his arms.

"You bloody arse, eh?" Draco asked, smiling wickedly down at her. Hermione drew away from him to look up at him.

"I…I can't do this anymore." There. The words were out and she felt a thousand pounds lighter.

"You can't do me anymore, you mean?" Draco asked calmly.

"Yes, that's what I mean…" Hermione's words were cut short as Draco pulled her into him and slipped a cold hand under her shirt to feel her back. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he petted her.

"No, I said stop!" angry, Hermione pushed Draco away from her. She turned away from him to run and he grabbed her from behind.

"No! Let go of me!" Hermione cried, pushing his arms from off of her. He lifted her, legs kicking underneath her. Hermione suddenly went limp in his arms, panting heavily. Hermione gripped his clenched hands on her belly. She couldn't see as the white hot pain overtook her body.

"Fuck!" Hermione screeched. She dug her nails into Draco's hands and he pushed her up against the back wall of Honeydukes. The side of her face squished up against it. She cried against his angry groans.

"Calm down Granger. I don't mean to be rough, but you're hanging on a thin thread!" Draco shouted over Hermione's painful whimpers. She relaxed against the wall, the wall, her only support of standing.

"Now, are you sure you want to leave me?" Draco asked, carefully turning Hermione around to face him. She looked up at him, a dirt smudge on her check. She coughed several times, and in a throaty voice replied,

"No."

"Fuck Hermione, why are you doing this to me?" Draco ran a hand through his long platinum blonde hair. He stared daggers into her.

"I'm just, I'm afraid."

"You shouldn't be. You told me you loved me."

"And that's what's killing me Draco! The fact that I love you…and…want you, makes me afraid, of what," Hermione released a strangled cry.

"What? Afraid of what?" Draco pressured her, placing his hand lovingly on her cheek.

"Afraid…of wanting you so badly, I might…ruin everything," she cried thoroughly and took the hand that was placed on her cheek and placed it on her chest. "And, it feels like, I would go to the end of the world for you, Draco." He shivered at her words, bringing his lips crashing down to hers.


However, Harry buried his head in between her shoulder and head, releasing a shuddering moan. He fell on top of her, kissing the damp skin there.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, touching her hair weakly with his hand.

Hermione swallowed hard and smiled down at him as he slithered down her front and disappeared under the sheets. Hermione felt his hands go down to the insides of her thighs, spreading them open. He began to slowly massage her. He slipped a finger in when she jerked her knee up, smashing him in the face.

"Bloody fucking hell!" Harry screamed, throwing the sheets off of their half naked bodies.

It was there first time, and Hermione felt like she was obligated to say 'yes' when Harry had asked her in her common room. Draco had walked quietly up the stairs and into his room from the study, Harry not noticing him as he rubbed her thigh, pushing up her school skirt. She undressed in front of him like he was a stranger to her, and he touched her gently. She couldn't stop crying as he moved within her, cursing herself deeply because these were tears of great enjoyment. She enjoyed the width of Harry, the length of him, and the feel of him, just as much as she enjoyed Draco. She bit her lips as Harry kissed away her tears, not asking her what was wrong between her energized demands of him to go faster.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was caught of guard! I'm sorry Harry!" Hermione was sitting up in bed now, her hands covering her mouth in horror as Harry clenched his nose. "Are you bleeding?"

Harry pulled away his hand to show that he was not bleeding, but had a lovely shiner on his cheekbone. Hermione reached out to touch it but he hissed and pulled back.

"Damn it Hermione," Harry pouted. He leaned in to kiss her, and she pulled him on her, giggling as she spread and wrapped her legs around him.

Yes, Hermione was a truly confused person.


Draco leaned on the headboard of his bed, Pansy sitting on the corner of it, slipping on her nightgown, grumbling.

"What the fuck Draco? Couldn't even stick it in right, eh? Had to stop midway, crying about some poetic made-up bullshit about true love?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," He said, throwing and arm over the board.

"Why won't you shag me?" She asked, jumping up and tugging at his pajama pants.

"Because, you're dirty and you know I won't touch you!" Draco spat at her, making her recoil. She licked her lips, all traces of hurt disappearing.

"Fine. Then if you won't pleasure me, without involving your on ruddy self, why don't you…let me pleasure you, all me involved?" Pansy asked, sliding her hand up and down his shaft. He covered her small hand with his large one, and she looked up at him, eyes filled with lust.

"Could you ever love someone, Pansy?" Draco asked, holding her hand in place.

"Only if they knew how to love me, in return," she replied huskily, eyeing her hand on him. Draco lifted her from him, and dropped her hand to the side of the bed,

"You can love alone tonight."