It was officially the last day of summer holidays. It was also the last day of naive childhood.

On her way to the same job most of her friends were doing back in America, was Cosette: short, skinny, plane-Jane Cosette. It was an odd name for a person of this century, yet it was the only thing she had of her birth mother— her one wish was to have her child named Cosette. The two gay men who adopted her were very sweet. They honoured this wish. Cosette's dad—Graham—and papa—Dean—called her Cosi, or Red, because of her flaming temper. But when Dad's mad at her (Papa's a softie), she's Cosette Mary Elizabeth Russo.

Today, she leaves for her first job. Her dads were proud of her, as she was well aware that the family she would have belonged to had it not been for adoption would be the least respective one on the planet. She do not blame her mother for wanting to give her away to a better family— her biological one held terrible people. She ponders as she lifts the suitcase down the stairs, 'Would my mother be proud of me, if she saw me now?'

Her dads— her sweet, loving, wonderful dads— had told her two years ago that her mother was a surrogate for them. She legally came to America from Portugal for them — without informing her husband and family why— for eight months. She was supposed to stay for eleven, to see her daughter get a head start in life, but her husband found her, and beat her to the almost death. She delivered a child in the next three hours, but not without fault. She died within the next few minutes, and Cosette had fractured both legs coming out of her, because of her biological father. She had ADHD and her brain didn't fully function as a child. It got better only after therapy and hard mental training. Her Papa and Dad never gave her her father's name. They were probably well aware she would want to track and brutally murder him.

Cosette was ambitious and outgoing. When her dads couldn't hold her down, it was usually her boyfriend who could. He was a striking, intelligent, marvellous young man, according to Graham, absolutely fit to date their daughter.

Cosette was usually lonesome during her high school years, but afterwards she moved temporarily to England, where she met someone she dearly held close to her heart— a UK national and prodigy. His name was Lavi Bookman, who had keen hobbies that mainly consisted of pestering his best and most trustful friend, a half French half Asian guy, the son of an ex-conman and mafia member. His name was Yuu, though she was informed sternly he preferred to be addressed by his last name; Kanda. She didn't want to bother him like his friend did, so that was what she called him, unless she was severely pissed at him. She learnt much about the friends. Both their parents were deceased, much like her. They had both shared an apartment with Lavi's grandfather, the world-known philosopher and chemist known simply as 'the Bookman'. All three friends majored in literature; Kanda spent a lot of his time reading, Lavi had the Bookman as a family member, and Cosette just because her entire family encouraged reading greatly. She wanted to continue that love of books until her descendants did. They studied together for five years, until Cosette and Lavi grew into being much more than just friends— without exactly getting to the third base, but he was willing to wait. And he still was. As the two were a year ahead of her, they graduated first. Together they had planned a trip to the States to either look for work or just chill. They invited her when her studies were over. That ended up being two days ago. She grabbed her passport, ticket, and bags, and took off. Now here she was, in a taxi headed to see her love. She had already called him; he'd be waiting at her dads' apartment. They had given the driver directions, and she was so excited she could hardly contain herself.

She and her cute foreign accent— as Lavi had called it— were finally coming into inviting and familiar arms. Of course, she was also looking forward to seeing her parents, and her friend Kanda, as he had gotten her through many a dire situation, which she had not even let Lavi know about. She knew neither she nor Kanda would ever share that traumatising experience of hers, and she deeply thanked him for keeping that one secret. Because of this, Kanda Yuu became the most trustworthy person in her life. They never discussed not mentioned the particular topic, but they had a special binding and silent agreement: never to do just that.


As the taxi neared the building—Lavi did not even wait for the car to stop— he pulled open the door and enveloped Cosette in a warming hold. She hadn't even stood up yet, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and deeply breathed in her boyfriend's familiar scent. Kanda stayed by the entrance of the building waiting for them.

"Welcome back to America," Lavi said as he released her. "My Harvard baby!" He pulled her body onto his back, and piggybacked her all the way back to her apartment. Kanda brought the luggage close behind without a word. Even though he uttered no words, he was relieved she had arrived safely.

After Cosette settled down in her old room (Lavi was to sleep on their couch for the night), the pair went out to breakfast. Kanda went back home marking his millions of papers and quizzes. It was times like this he regretted becoming Pennsylvania's best high school English teacher. He was always too busy. At least he was good at his job. The class he taught was usually the most enjoyable— not because he was funny and happy and jolly and shit. His sarcastic talking, replies, and insults usually made the kids' day. Kanda politely denied joining them for their outing ("Fuck off, Rabbit, and fucking take your girlfriend out alone. What, you want me to tell you how to fucking snog her?")

Onto Lavi's motorcycle the two piled (Well, actually, it was Kanda's, but no one needed to know that) and they were on their way out. Everything was pleasantly green, and the soft breeze tickled Cosette skin. They stopped at a roadside diner, which Lavi explained he went to regularly. They sat by the bar side by side, served by a busty waitress 'Leigh Anne'. Leigh's crazy orange-striped hair stood out like her heavy black eyeliner and short orange skirt and flame red heels. Lavi asked for two of his regulars. Cosette didn't know what that was, but trusted him enough not to ask.

"I see why you like coming here," Cosette teased, referring to the curved waitress. Before he could answer, his phone buzzed violently, and then started ringing to the tune of Star Wars. Cosette looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he pulled out the device and shrugged. The main picture on it— a baby picture of Kanda— caught her eye, as well as the caller ID: Yuu~Bear. Lavi picked up as cheerily as the bright lights surrounding the small building they were in, but before he could utter a word a screaming voice on the other side of the line decided to chew his ear off. "YOU TOOK MY FLIPPIN' MOTORCYCLE?!" The voice echoed off his skin and spread into the whole restaurant. Lavi dropped the phone on the table in shock.

Cosette snorted. "I knew it wasn't yours," she muttered. God, he loved her accent.

"Sorry, Yuu."

"Come back as soon as possible, idiot. I, like an actual working human, need my ride to get to work."

"It's Sunday, man, there's no school today."

"I still need to work. I have things to collect. You don't pay the rent, remember? I do." The phone slammed down on Kanda's side, leaving an annoying beeping sound on Lavi's. On his face was a 'Shit, good Lord' look, and he beckoned to Leigh Anne to make it a takeaway parcel. Their bag was ready within minutes. He payed her and left with a wink.


Cosette learned that Lavi didn't actually pay his own rent. The man was broke. He had no solid job. His main employer was his grandfather— who paid his apartment dues. Kanda payed for his own shit. Lavi did not. She figured Sir Bookman would not be too happy about the arrangement, deeming it too unfair on Kanda's part, even though the French-Japanese had insisted. That made Lavi a very unstable person to depend on in a relationship. She didn't say a word.

The ride back to the apartment went by faster than the ride to, but they made the most of it. By the time Kanda was outside with his neat outfit, Cosette was sitting in front of Lavi with their lips constantly in action. They didn't notice him agitatedly walk over to them until he grabbed the back of Lavi's collar and shoved him off the seat. Kanda then extended his hand to Cosette, who took it in hers and stepped off the vehicle gracefully. She gave him a quick peck on his temple and then proceeded to get her boyfriend off the floor, where he was dramatically faking deep pain and injury. She picked him off the ground by the arm, dragging him back into the doors, humouring him with promises of cleaning his battle wounds and scratches.

Kanda looked over at them, shook his head, and drove away. Cosette turned to catch his eye one more time, but by then he was gone.

It was still twelve, so Cosette was surprised when Lavi pulled two big bean burritos from the diner's takeaway bag when they got to their flat. She hated bean burritos, but she didn't utter a word as her boyfriend passed her one. She took a ginger bite after he did, fighting the cringe that was battling to show on her face. The door suddenly unlocked and swung inwards. Kanda, without a word, walked over to the fridge, grabbed a kid's science project, his office keys, and was about to leave, but he said, "She doesn't like bean burritos." And then left.

"Well then, that's one point to the Japanese man." Lavi said to the door. He turned to her and asked, "Well, what would you like, bean burrito hater?"

Cosette shrugged at the question, her cheeks reddening at the stupid new name.

"You could have just told me," he said. She only shrugged again. He got up and drew an egg from the fridge, which still smelt like glue and paper mâché. But, that only came to prove that Kanda really did deserve the title he had. He was their 10th grade English teacher, yet held on to the Science project for three days until the day the kid needed it back for the final presentation. Cosette's heart warmed at the thought of a very sweet Kanda Yuu.

"So, Cosi, you okay with eggs?"

She nodded sheepishly. She realised that her relationship with Lavi, after the year they had been harbouring a breakup from lack of conversation due to a long-distance relationship, was becoming very awkward. She felt like she couldn't talk to him like she trusted him or like she used to. He felt distant, and this was only after three hours of returning to him.

As he made her an omelette, she turned the television on, and when he sat, they ate in silence, watching useless channels brainlessly. Kanda returned after six hours. The two were asleep on the couch, Lavi on Cosette's shoulder. Kanda rolled his eyes, dumping Lavi's blanket from the floor over them. Cosette, a light sleeper, woke immediately. She was surprised she didn't hear the door open, but hey. It was the most sleep she'd gotten in months, due to her final school graduation not seventy two hours before.

She looked up at Kanda. She smiled softly. "Hey."

"Hi." He turned and went into his room. Cosette huffed and threw the blanket off herself and doubled it on Lavi, following Kanda close behind, always hating being dissed. "Kanda—"

Jesus, her accent sounded so good on his name.

"—Don't just ignore me— Wow." She stopped at her friend's doorway.

"I think I most decidedly did not." He looked at her amazed face. "What?"

Cosette slowly glided into the room, fingers smoothly running over bind over bind of the hundreds of books that must have covered every surface of Kanda's room. Every shelf, every floorboard, every table space... All of it... Covered in piles... And stacks... And dozens of books. They were everywhere, yet the room still didn't have the messy vibe to it. There were books covering every inch of the dimly lit studio room. There were only three things in the room that weren't books: the bed, the closet, and the one painting that hung on the wall. True, the bed had books on its headboard and side table, so maybe it didn't even count. The students' papers were books already, courtesy of Kanda's awesome teaching.

The painting... Cosette remembered it from many years ago. Kanda's father, the French artist Tiedoll, had visited the college on a whim looking for a teaching job. Kanda didn't know. At lunch break, Tiedoll sat six tables away from them, where they couldn't see him. The three had been leaning on a wall, quietly conversing. Lavi had a sandwich; the other two had already eaten. Tiedoll, over the two hours they spent in their quiet group without moving, painted the three. The details were astounding, especially since Cosette hadn't realised many people saw her as a beautiful person, which was exactly how Tiedoll painted her. She didn't know Kanda ended up keeping the masterpiece after the old man passed away.

The amount of books still astounded her. She recognised so many of her favourites, many classics, and many modern writing. Her eyes were wide, she knew, but she wasn't aware that everything became suddenly silent, but it felt right. She looked at Kanda. He was already staring at her.

"I had no idea... you had these many books."

He still just looked at her, but then he said, "You're free to borrow anything anytime, if you'd like."

Cosette nodded enthusiastically, beaming brightly. She hugged Kanda tightly, not surprised when she didn't feel the arms hold her back, but that was okay. Just the fact that he wasn't pushing her away actually made it more than okay, as she knew Kanda was most decidedly not a very touchy-feely person. She let go when she heard a cough from behind her at the doorway.

"Yuu-chan? Letting someone else touch his books? You must be special, Cosi." There was steel in Lavi's voice, something that sounded very close to jealousy. He glared at we arms wrapped around his friend.

"Oh come on, Lavi. Can't I hug my only friend?" She pouted at him adorably.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on." Even though he looked slightly stupid lugging a huge blanket across the floor, he did manage to pull off the 'strict, jealous, annoyed boyfriend' look. Cosette didn't think it suited him, but also left the room for the kitchen.

It was six in the afternoon, and still light outside. She was starving. With her cooking skills, Cosette began to make a snack for herself and the boys— mainly consisting of vegetable Chinese, a salad and a sweet dish she made from the Pepsi and pineapples in the fridge. Kanda and herself were vegetarians, Lavi a through-and-through meat lover. True, sometimes she ate eggs, but only because her mother used to stress on its importance while she was growing up.

All in all, the meal took an hour to complete, in within she suspiciously heard no sound from either Lavi nor Kanda. Strange. She walked into Lavi's room, and called him into the barstools in the kitchen. When she entered Kanda's room— after knocking twice, waiting, then entering— she was, for a reason, shocked. Kanda lay on his bed: frontwards, shirtless, and asleep. The blanket lay scrunched up on the floor (you got it, on top of a pile of large books). It was cold. She lifted the woollen material, gently and carefully placing it over her friend. She knew he too was a light sleeper. Despite her carefulness, he stirred, eyes opening.

"Hey," she whispered.

He groaned, pulled the blanket over his head, and turned away from her.

"Don't you want to eat something?" She asked, her voice low.

"No," his voice was muffled, but whiny. "I'm tired..."

"Alright then." She kissed the back of his head softly, and left without another word. She didn't see him turn around and watch her leave.

Lavi and Cosette made out on the kitchen counter. As she comfortably sat on the cool marble, with Lavi's hands wrapped around her waist, lips moulded together, she realised how much she missed doing this.

But all that also got her thinking.

Did she really love Lavi? Did she want to stay with him forever, and him vice versa? Did they want to have a future together, or was this merely the remnants of a young, naive, childish attraction they called a relationship? Was this a stable relationship? Could they survive? Did she even want them to survive? Did he?

She didn't know the answers to any of those questions. Or maybe she didn't want the answers.

"Ngh, Leigh Anne," Lavi moaned into her mouth.

Cosette's eyes opened. "What - what did you just say?" Her voice was calm, yet dangerous.

"Wha— what did I—"

"Leigh Anne?!"

"I— Cosi—"

Slap!

The redhead held his brightening cheek as the girl he had just insulted stared at him, before commencing to try and land him a punch in the gut. She felt a strong force hold her back, but she was too occupied yelling insults in both Spanish and English in Lavi's direction, throwing kicks all over his body until he started bruising. The force— a very strong body— yanked her backwards, until she couldn't hurt Lavi anymore.

"LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO!" She yelled at Kanda, voice raising by each passing moment. Two muscular arms grabbed hers and pulled them around his waist, and he let himself hold her until the cries she let out into his shoulder cooled down into a quiet sob. She had struggled and probably even ended hurting him to some extent, but he had held on. When she quietened to a soft cry, Lavi was gone, having taken his car, and was probably at the stupid roadside dump he had brought her to that morning. With the stupid sleazy bar lady.

Kanda's chin rest over her head, which was strangely comforting standing there feeling alone in the cold kitchen. His fingers drew a repetitive pattern on her back, calming her.

"When the fuck—" Cosette started.

"Shut up." Came Kanda's firm, harsh order. She obeyed. "Now, calm down."

"I am calm."

"No you're not. Your heart's beating way too fast for you to be calm."

Cosette breathed in deeply, the skin of her cheek rubbing against that of his bare shoulder.

The relationship between Kanda and Cosette looked complex to any outsider. The two seemed attracted to one another, but in between themselves they were just like older brother and baby sister. She could tell him anything, and he would fix it for her. Just like the first incident. When they first met.

Lavi wasn't her first boyfriend. The bastard who took that title would have to be one of Kanda's brothers— Chaoji. He seemed a nice, average guy back then, until he started gaining excessive weight, becoming a junkie, an alcoholic, abusing her verbally, physically, and sexually, and hanging out with people who weren't her, until Kanda caught him out and had him jailed for abuse. Chaoji was stuck in there for seven years— he'd be out in three more. Kanda filed a restraining order for her against the Chinese man, punishable by another five jailed years if not followed. At that point, Kanda became her safe haven, to the point that his friend Lavi seriously wanted to meet her. This was when she had just made it to the second semester at the college, so they had become her closest companions. Other than them, she trusted none unless they have her the okay.

Now her trust in Lavi was broken. It was sad to think there was only one person in the world who was alive and wouldn't take advantage of her. It made her feel quite alone. So she held on to the only boulder she had left in her life and didn't intend to let go for a long time. Knowing that, Kanda let her cry into his shoulder.


Lavi didn't have any idea where to go after he left the apartment behind. He had taken his run-down car. Not Kanda's bike. He had never used the car when he went to the diner. It left a bad impression for Leigh Anne. She thought he was weighty wealthy, when in truth, he honestly was not. The most he could afford with this month's pay check of volunteering at the school, library, charity centre, engineering shop and car garage were thirty-three bean burritos with its free fries. A bean burrito was three dollars.

The car was only accessible to him because it was a gift from Gramps. The old man didn't even pay him; he only payed the boy's rent. He was very thankful to have both Gramps and a friend like Kanda. A friend who fed him, gave him a home which at first he couldn't and didn't pay for, and stayed with him, not kicking him out, and putting up with all his bullshit.

Lavi recently went to an interview at the aluminium distribution site, informing them he could only work half-time due to the Bookman's work. They had yet to answer him.

Over the year they had been apart, he did miss Cosette. He really did. But he also had a lot on his mind. He took to drinking (Kanda would buy a pack of beer every month; each pack held twenty-five cans) but didn't get very far. He became depressed at his bank account's holdings. He took to sex. For him, it worked. He forgot everything. Every night, he'd bring to his fancy home a new girl to sleep with, and the world's 99 fucks evanesced from his mind. Every morning a new girl would leave the apartment heartbroken.

That was until he had met Leigh Anne. She was sweet, nice, girly, and most importantly, curvy. He remembered Cosette during every kiss, regretted sexual activity with Leigh Anne every morning because he thought of how Cosette always wanted to wait. Hated himself for every date he took her on (after borrowing morning he could never return from Gramps) because of he never took Cosette out to a nice restaurant, why did he take Leigh Anne?

He didn't have any answers, and he shamed himself for that. He hated himself for that. He despised himself. After an hour more of aimless driving, Lavi parked his car on the side road of a highway, located on a high bridge over a large body of water. Should he just end it? All his pain, and sorrow, and regrets? Should he just take the weight he had placed in his friends' shoulders off of them? Should he just unburden the world of his uselessness and his pathetic mess he called a life? Yes, he decided, he should.


Cosette's first kiss was not during her teen years, as many would expect from a girl as beautiful and charming as she. It in fact was also during the time of her first ex, Chaoji, though he wasn't the one. Her first kiss was an accident. It was after her first pop quiz, and she was stressing out excessively, wielding a large cup of coffee and three textbooks.

The guy, however, was working his way through the first exams of the semester of his second year. They crashed into each other on their way to their mutual English class, coming from opposite directions. Some guy, who usually made a lot of fun of Cosette, decided to shove the two together, and their lips crashed. Cosette never forgot that deep burning sensation she got in both her lips and her cheeks as they both pulled away as quickly as possible. She still remembered how his amazing blue eyes apologised sincerely through his geeky glasses. He helped her pack her books up, but they mutually yet silently decided to leave the coffee on the floor. He bought her another one after they finished up with their talk with their English teacher; separately. They parted ways and didn't see each other again... Until his brother raped her.


Everyone was dancing happily. An exotic Portuguese and her boyfriend, who had gained three kilos since they all saw him last, were making their way to the lively dance floor. Cosette, they all knew, was a great dancer.

The self-inflicted scars on her wrists were resourcefully hidden from the world by a multitude of large, colourful bangles and bracelets. Her hurting feet bore more pain trough trying to support her and the highest heels she could find in her closet. And that was pretty high.

Her freshly made hair hung in sexy curls, her eyes done in sexy makeup, and her sexy body wearing a sexy dress. She radiated of her sweet perfume— all in all, she was a doll loved by the big crowd at the frat house. She also happened to be the youngest around. She and her already drunk guy danced in the midst of hot, sweaty people. Before she knew it, Chaoji had his lips on hers, his breath reeking of booze. She wasn't surprised; they of course had made out before. Plus, he was slightly tipsy. He wasn't overstepping her boundaries, and despite all his recent problems, still stuck to them. So she let him kiss her.

The music made her heart pound; the intimacy Chaoji let off on her lips made her heart race. He pushed them both off the dance floor and down the hall steadily, yet hastily. She staggered on her tall shoes, as Chaoji began dragging her to a private room. She wasn't aware of what he was doing as their lips were still moulded together, and simultaneously she was trying to balance herself. She only managed to contemplate the seriousness of the situation when mercilessly she was flung onto a hard bed— not intimately either. Her head hit the headboard, making her world spin awfully.

Chaoji came up on top of her; her eyes widened as Cosette came to realise what he was trying to do. She didn't like the idea of it.

Her dress zipper, which, oddly, was in the front, as per design, was being pulled down slowly. Down, down, down, until Chaoji was roaming unmarked territory. She didn't like it at all. She struggled in his hold, but he was too strong for her to tackle. She begged him to stop; he refused to listen. She screamed at him, trying to bring him to his senses. It was of no use. She was crying, because he started touching her then. And she couldn't do anything about it. "Stop!" She cried, her voice shaky and cracking. She didn't want to do this right now...

His lips came onto her mouth again, in an attempt to shut her up. His hands touched uncharted maps, making her uncomfortable. His severe actions were hurting her, and she screamed into his mouth to get him off her. With the amount of his own weight he was laying on her, she was choking.

"DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

Her dress was off. She struggled to stop it, but it was no use. Her black underclothes were still safely on her, but Cosette predicted it wouldn't be for very long. She was going to be raped, and now she was sure. Her bra was snapped open, and as the cold air touched her now bare skin, she cried. Chaoji barred all her skin, tearing her legs apart, ripping the tissue of her right inner thigh. She cried until the base of her neck was soaking in her own tears and she was choking on sobs. By now, it was too late, and the deed was done. He was inside her bleeding body, crushing her pure innocence with one single blow. There was more blood. She only wished this wasn't happening, that it all was just a terrible dream that could go away.

And it may not have been a dream, but indeed it did stop. The door to the dim room opened and closed just as quickly. The heavy weight on her body was lifted off her, so she could breathe again. Cosette whimpered uselessly on the side of the vermillion bed, trying to hide herself in the stained sheets, curling up into a small ball.

"Oi, Baka," she heard. "Stop this nonsense." Chaoji faced the person droopily, but ignored him with a smirk and was on top of her very quickly again, forcefully trying to pull her hands away from shielding herself. He didn't get very far. Without waiting another heartbeat, the man tore Chaoji off her, who was not expecting the punch that very accurately squared him in the jaw. Chaoji was knocked out with another two.

Her eyes still tried to focus on the man's face as he neared her slowly. Mean cuts were etched into her arms, caused by her broken glass bangles. She tried to back away from him, not wanting to be touched by another man again in her life, but her fingers only skid off the side of the bed, and she had no strength to get off and start running.

With one hand outstretched towards her to take, the man she recognised as the guy with her first kiss came closer to her. She didn't know whether to trust him or not, so she only stared, like a deer in headlights, into his deep blue eyes. She observed his lack of glasses.

She still didn't take his hand, her own scrambling to cover herself with the now metallic-scented sheets, but let out a sharp cry as she tried moving her legs. Even though her eyes had just dried, she started crying hot tears again. The guy knelt beside the bed, on the edge closest to her, telling her to calm down, and not to hurt herself further but if she didn't hurry, his brother would wake up and try to touch her again.

"I— I don't want him t-to do that," she said, her jaw shaking in fear.

"I know." He said gently. "We need to go. Will you come with me to my room?"

"This—" she sniffed. "This is your dorm."

He nodded in affirmation. She nodded, answering his question. She'd come to his room, if he didn't lay a hand on her. He accepted this.

"But I c-can't w-walk." She stammered.

The guy sighed, and held out his hand again. Reluctantly, she slipped her palm into his— which was warm and comforting— and he closed his fingers around her hand, slowly using it to lift her body up. Without her huge shoes, she reached just under the height of his shoulder. With her free hand, she still clutched her sheets. With the guy's free hand, he unbuttoned his shirt and delicately placed it over her shoulders, coaxing her to let go of the bedclothes and wear it. The bottom hem went just passed her thighs. Following that, he asked her if he could move his arm to support her. She nodded, feeling the blood from her leg gash drip down her skin. Her eyes shut tightly as it tickled her ankle, and then dropped onto the floorboard. She felt the man's other hand placed firmly on her waist. At first, she flinched at the touch, never wanting to feel a man near her again, but knew she needed his help. Together, they limped out of what she learnt was Chaoji's room, and into the one at the far end of the hallway. He was only glad no one could see her like this. The walk was long, and the wooden floors became quickly slippery. When at last they did reach the room, Cosette's eyes were drooping and she had run out of breath. Working all by himself now, her helper took her inside the four black walls and into the gray bathroom, and propped her into a sitting position beside the wash basin.

"Don't move," he told her, closing the door behind him before she could even nod. She didn't want to be alone, wanting to reach out to open the door, but followed his strict words. Her heavy eyes slipped closed, and she fell into a light sleep, her head resting on the wall. She awoke to a cold hand, touching her face to rouse her from slumber. Her eyes snapped open, jerking away from the feminine hand.

Oh, wait... Why was there a girl here?

"Ssh, calm down." The girl said with a kind tone, purple eyes warm. "I'm Lenalee. I'm just going to help you." Lenalee, it turned out, was a medical major senior with a great internship at the hospital. She was going to work as a pathologist, she had decided. The guy, who Cosette learnt from Lenalee's endless talking was Kanda. Swiftly Lenalee worked to pull off the younger girl's shirt and help her to the shower to wash off. She worked very gently, much like the absent Kanda had with her. There were so many nice people in this college, yet Cosette had ended up with the jerk for a boyfriend. Her luck indeed sucked.

When she was done, she clothed the younger girl in another one of Kanda's shirts. She left her lower side bare, as she needed to place stitches on her thigh. Lenalee beckoned for Kanda to come help her out and place her back on the basin-side. Cosette this time didn't edge away from the male's soft touch, as she was beginning to trust his motives, even though she was still uncomfortable.

"This is going to hurt," she heard Lenalee tell her subconsciously, but it didn't comprehend in her mind until she felt a sharp burning pain in her leg. She cried out; Lenalee glanced at her. Kanda, still beside her, felt her fingers dig into his arm as needle and thread cut through more of her skin. Because Lenalee didn't have anaesthetics, she worked hastily but with steady confidence. Her work was precise and clean. Breathing heavily and holding back tears, Cosette shakily let go of Kanda's arm. Lenalee quietly wrapped the stitches with cool, medicated gauze and bandages. She was going to help her patiently into a long skirt, but Cosette refused to wear another dress-like item. It was way too easy to get into again.

"All right," Lenalee said. "I understand. I'll be back." With orders to Kanda not to leave her alone, she left to her room downstairs, which she was occupying while her brother went on a trip for business in the States. She returned with black formal pants and a purple bra of her own for the girl to use, as the shirt Cosette wore was a translucent white. To her dismay, she arrived just in time to see the young student empty the little contents of her stomach into the sink. Kanda was holding back her long hair with his own rubber band from his hair into hers, petting the base of her neck to help her let it out.

Because she was also diagnosed with a concussion from Lenalee, but refused to see a professional hospital, Cosette that night slept in Kanda's bed, beside Lenalee, who insisted staying with her through the night. Kanda took a spare pillow from his older brother Marie's room and slept on the sofa in the room, after he had had the police take away a tantrum-throwing Chaoji ("YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"). Also on that night, he had filed a case against his own brother for the girl he had saved, after coaxing information from her. Chaoji was convicted of rape, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, assault, drug-dealing, and underage drinking— he was, as it turned out, still 17 and was on campus only because he was too smart for his age and was taken three years higher. It turned out he was just cheating off Kanda's old papers.

Because Kanda had taken so much care not to let the story leak into the public, media, or another student beside Lenalee, only six people knew the situation. Cosette's fathers were thoroughly upset, and had flown over to stay with her for several weeks. Cosette was eternally grateful for that.

After that, the two had grown a bond akin to siblings.

She never knew that the guy who had taken her first kiss—accidentally— would be here standing with her while she was all alone, comforting her with the best of his abilities. That was the only kiss the two shared, but no girl forgets her first kiss.


"Hey Kanda?" Cosette said inquisitively. He hummed in acknowledgement, not looking up from correcting papers on his desk. He wore his old glasses.

"I'm really sorry... If I've ever, ever been a burden for you."

Kanda continued the marking, silent. Deciding he probably wasn't going to answer, she got back to reading a borrowed book on his bed. Her mind didn't take in the words as her eyes skimmed over them, keeping Kanda in her peripheral view. There were minutes of absolute silence, and just when Cosette was going to snap, her friend answered.

"Cas, you were never a burden." He said. "You were a pain, yes. A complain, yes. A nuisance, yes. But never a burden. Don't stress out about stupid things—"

Before his words could continue, he felt cold arms wrap around his torso from the back, tears falling into his t-shirt. "Thank you."

"You cry too much."

"Bastard."

"Squeamish brat."

"You're the best."

"You're the worst."

"...I love you."

There was a heavy silence. Then:

"I love you, too," Kanda whispered, realisation dawning on them both.

"I..." Cosette started, but she never had a chance to continue as Kanda's chair spun around to face her and he lay his lips on hers. She didn't protest as he brought her closer to him, turning it into something more. His tongue roamed her mouth in a delicate dance. She allowed him to slip his hand under her shirt, coursing over every inch of her back, as she did his. When his hand lingered over her bra strap, not overstepping her boundaries, but just... Lingering... She backed away, pulling Kanda's hands away from her body.

"Don't.. Don't do what he did..."

"I would never—"

"Don't touch me where he did, Kanda. Ever." Her voice cracked. "I don't, ever, want that to happen all over again—"

"Cas, I wasn't going to." His voice was calm, trying to prove to her he wasn't losing himself to lust. Proving he wasn't like his insolent brother.

She took a shaky breath, "I.. I still dream about it sometimes. The terror of it all. I sometimes... Wake in the middle of the night to just trace my finger over that scar on my leg— Kanda— please, I'm sorry. But, but it still hurts. I still can't..." She let sentence drift off. She wasn't saying it. She sat gingerly on the edge of Kanda's bed.

"I understand, Cosette. You just need to trust me. I don't want you to fear that I would ever try what Chaoji—"

"Don't say his name!" She yelled. Cooling down, taking a breath, and reverting again to a lower voice, Cosette said, "Don't say it. Please."

Kanda only nodded. "I understand."

"Thank you. I'm taking your motorcycle."

Kanda's head snapped up. "What?"

"I need some air."

Kanda nodded again, tossing her the keys without another word.


Screeeeeeech!

As Lavi had just convinced himself of throwing himself off the bridge, a loud screeching whirled him around. It was a ridiculous thing to do on the highway— braking like that was almost suicide— and two cars crashed into one another because of it. Without flinching, the first driver flung himself out of the car, but ignored the furious, police-dialling other one. He headed straight for the boy about to take his own life.

"Young man—"

"Please don't try and stop me, sir," Lavi cut off the stranger. "I've already tried that. Don't tell me things get better—"

"Young. Man." The guy said, and the strictness in his voice made Lavi stop. The man grabbed Lavi's collar and shoved him away from the edge of the bridge.

"What are you trying to do?!"

"Well, I was trying to kill myself—"

"Lavi?"

Lavi whirred around again, head bobbing from between the man's hands to find the familiar face that belonged to that voice. A crowd, and several police, were gathering. Cars were forced to a halt at the scene by yellow cones. Angry workers heading home cursed violently.

"Lavi?!" Cosette called again. "LAVI?"

"Cos—" Lavi managed to utter as her face came into view, but the man wit the vice-like grip shook his body again aggressively.

"Man, what's your problem?!"

News helicopters gathered as he said the next few words to Cosette: "You know this guy?"

"Yeah. He's my boyf— my ex boyfriend." As she said this, she saw Lavi's eyes dim further.

"How long ago did you break up?"

Though finding this a fairly odd question, Cosette said, "A few hours ago?"

"Ah. I see. This young man here was just about to commit suicide."

"W—Lavi?!"

He only shrugged. Walking closer to him, Cosette took her hand off the motorbike's handle, and slapped him across the face, until his cheek brightened, much like the shade of his dark locks.

She herself grabbed hold of Lavi's collar, shoving off the man who had been holding him.

"Don't. Don't ever give up on this life. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever." Tears mixed in her mascara travelled down her face as she hugged Lavi, not noticing the cameras focused on her face. (At home: "Dean?! Dean! Why is Cosette on the news?")

"H-hey Cosi?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that Kanda's bike?"


Their lips met. She didn't care if Lavi was in the next room sulking about his sucky life. He deserved what he'd got, and now she was free from his spell. She never thought she would ever be this quick to get over a breakup, especially not since it was reistablished about two minutes ago. She clutched Kanda into her, with a fierceness that surprised him. Not an inch of their body was not touching the other's, and Cosette didn't stop nor care when she felt Kanda's pants constrict as she touched him all over.

Though she hadn't let him touch her before, she let him now. He was free to do anything in the whole goddamned world to her and she would accept it. Because she loved him, and trusted him. He would never do anything stupid to her— against her wishes, anyways.

She felt Kanda respond to her once he got over the initial shock. He moved with her, taking his time in pulling down her hair tie. Her long tresses curled down her back, which he decided he wanted bare. Opening one button at a time on her cardigan, he found himself facing her long pullover shirt. He pulled it off her from the top, which was when she started separating his buttons from their holes, teasing him by making the process agitatingly slow. Her bare neck, exposed to him, was attacked by a trail of harsh butterfly kisses. As he found a soft spot in her skin, he sucked and kissed until that spot was bruised and purple. He left similar marks on the other side and base of her neck until she had run out of breath to spare. She jerked her lips onto to his, pulling open his jacket and shirt and tossing them to the side. She played his ear with her tongue sweetly, not stopping. He hated that she wouldn't stop. His fingers glided over her flat stomach, tickling her away from him, and she stepped backward onto the bed, pulling herself into a sitting position. Kanda neared again, kissing her head tenderly, and stopped.

"Cas..."

"What?" Cosette looked up at him, her cheek testing on his bare stomach as he stood before her.

"You sure you want to do this?"

She didn't answer, only brought into collision her lips to his abs, surprising him. As he crouched onto one knee her lips kept moving, until they were riding up his neck onto his lips.

"I'm sure."

That was how she got over herself, and learnt to grow up and move on with life. Life was a war. She realised that now.

It seemed fitting. Tomorrow was her last day as a child; her first day at work, where she would ;earn the hardships of life, and today. Today she understood it all.

But she knew, with Kanda, she would always be safe. Child or not, he would be there always to help her when she fell.


IT'S A CRAPPY CHAPTER. GET OVER IT. READ AND REVIEW XX