Part 2 Christmas fic! also: to the reviewer who asked how far along teddy is in this is fic, tbh idk. i lost count. 23ish weeks?
She's excited. She's hyped. She just asked him to marry her. She also thought he'd be excited but his face changes.
"Can we talk privately? For a sec?" He whispers in her ear.
Her heart beats fast. It's suddenly deafening. She thought he'd scream yes and pick her up and spin her around and they'd kiss and everyone will be happy.
In all the chaos or cheers and exchanging gifts, Owen helps her up and helps her out on her coat and they stand outside in his mother's back porch.
She leans against the railing and watches him pace back and forth in front of her.
"Owen? What's wrong?"
"I—"
He starts and stops and she knows her pretty pink bubble is bursting. She knows. He doesn't have to say it. She knows that everything was just too good and in her head everything is perfect. And she's been wrapped in everything that maybe she hasn't even noticed that Owen is somewhere else. Mentally. Emotionally.
Her bubble is bursting and she can't breathe.
She looks at him and he has a panicked look. And she suddenly see things so much clearer. The rose colored lens is gone.
"I was having a bad day. The other day. It was a whole day of shit—"
"Get to the point." She cuts him off.
"I kissed Amelia. And it's wrong I know and I'm sorry and it's not like how you think it is. I felt nothing after but—"
Her heart stops and aches and clenches. It hurts. Behind him she can see his family lounging, laughing, sitting by the tree. Leo is in Megan's lap laughing. His mom is playing peek a boo with him. Farouk and Nathan were playing chess.
Her heart won't stop clenching. Her drumming of her heart gets louder.
She felt like everything is suddenly collapsing around her.
There were no tears. She refuses to cry.
But she stands her ground. She doesn't know what to say. She's just leaning against the railing. Crossing her arms on her chest defensively.
She's not going to cry.
"Teddy?"
"I... you asked me to marry you. I thought what we had was—"
"It is. I didn't mean to—I wasn't thinking—she pushed me away"
"I think we're done, Owen. I'm done."
"What—no—we're having a—"
"I know. We are. But I can't be with you. You can't keep hurting me like this. I'm gonna stay at your place for a little bit until I find my own place. But—we're done."
She can't stop the tears anymore. They're just gonna fall.
But she's done letting Owen hurt her.
She glances inside again and makes eye contact with Megan. She looks away before Megan reads the mood.
"Teddy—"
"No, really, Owen. We're done. I knew this was too good to be true. And maybe we're just better off as friends. We tried this whole thing—"
"Teddy I made a mistake"
"Yeah and sure I get it. You love Amelia and I kinda ruined that and you'll never not love her. So I'm done. You go to her. Be with her I don't care. I'm just gonna... be here I guess. Have your baby. I'm done, Owen."
"That's not true. I love her but not—"
"Then why?!" She's raising her voice now. Because now she's actually processing what is happening. She could punch Owen. She could choke him. But she's tired. She's done fighting.
"I—I don't know. I'm sorry. I did not like it—"
"You didn't like it or she pushed you away?"
"That—"
"We're done, Owen"
She stares at him, seething. His eyes avoiding her.
"Everything okay out here?" Megan interrupts.
Teddy looks away so Megan doesn't see she's crying and Owen just clears his throat.
"Yeah" he answers. "What's up?"
"Leo's getting fussy. I think he's hungry. I don't know where—"
"I got him" Owen responds and takes Leo from Megan and leaves.
Teddy bites her lip and hopes Megan would just leave, but she knows she won't.
"What happened?" Megan asks tepidly.
Teddy just blinks her tears away and looks at her sadly. "Nothing. It's fine."
"You're crying. It's not nothing."
"We'll talk later. It's fine."
Megan walks to her and gives her a hug. "Let's go in. It's cold." She's thankful Megan didn't push.
The drive home was quiet. She looked out the window while rubbing her bump. Her poor baby. Already from a broken home she hasn't even been born yet. She wipes the tears and hides under her hair. She knows he knows she's crying.
She feels lost and stuck and she doesn't know what to do anymore.
She watches the Seattle skyline blur by as they drive home. She suddenly hates it.
Her baby is kicking and squirming hard. Maybe she feels her sadness. She probably does. She's really fucking sad. In every sense of the word.
"You okay?" He asks. Maybe nervous because he sees that she's rubbing her side a little hard. She doesn't respond because she is fine and she's mad and she doesn't really. "Teddy?"
"I'm fine." Her voice croaks.
"Listen—"
"Please, I don't want to talk. There's nothing else to say"
She gets madder when she realizes it's Christmas night.
They get home and she finds herself a nook in the kitchen and makes herself tea. She takes deep breaths to clear her head and think of her next steps. Find an apartment. Furnish an apartment. Have a baby. Okay everything is overwhelming.
Maybe she should just forgive him. After all he was happy with Amelia before she came along. No. She's hurt.
No. The past few months he made her believe that the thing with Amelia is over. And that he chose her.
She's done being sloppy seconds. She's so done.
Merry Christmas, Teddy. Sad and alone and pregnant.
She stares at her tea and bites her lip. This feels like rock bottom. This is rock bottom.
She finally agreed to marry him.
And he tells her this.
Maybe this is a dream.
She wants her bubble back.
How is she supposed to move on with her life after today?
"You should stay" his voice interrupts her thoughts. Her self loathing. Her dwindling depression.
"No—"
"Stay. Just until she's born and maybe a month or two after."
"No."
"Teddy."
"No, Owen."
"Listen, I'm sorry. I have no excuse for what I did. I'm sorry. I was caught up in the moment and—"
"You're confused and conflicted and we've talked about this. This has been an issue before. I have nothing in me anymore to fight for this for you—"
"What about for our baby? You're not going to fight for her?"
"Don't bring her into this. I'm not taking her away from you. You'll be here for her. That's it. That's all you'll get from me. Owen, you and Amelia broke up and a week later I was living in your house. Of course you still love her."
"I love you—"
"We're going to keep talking in circles. I'm so dumb for believing that everything is all good and is really working out for me. It really hurts, Owen. And I can subject myself to getting hurt again. I'm not scared. Trusting you is the bravest thing I've done and it really burned me. I'm done."
"Don't say that, we're not done"
She just shakes her head and wipes her tear. "We are. I'm gonna sleep in the couch."
"No you take the bed. I'll take the couch."
"Merry Christmas, Owen" she says sadly and quietly. She looks at him and he looked sad and guilty.
"I'm so sorry, Teddy. I don't want this to end. I'm so sorry."
She knows all he wants to do is hold her.
She's in bed wide awake staring at the ceiling. There's no way she's sleeping tonight. She needs Owen's warmth and arms around her. She needs his comfort. His love.
Maybe she's being too harsh, it was just a kiss after all, but she's hurt. This is going to keep happening as long as Amelia's in their life. She doesn't know if she can't do this.
Everything happened too fast and everything was just too good. She wants to believe that Owen didn't mean it, or that nothing really happened, but it did happen. And he still had the urge to kiss her.
She loves him. But it hurts. It really hurts.
She wants to be done but she can't because the truth is she really loves Owen. She just needs be on guard.
She gets up and finds him asleep on the couch. She shimmies herself in his arms and he wakes a little but just tightens his arms around her.
"Teddy..."
"I know, Owen."
"I'm sorry."
"I know." She whispers back. "Go back to sleep. We'll talk in the morning"
She wakes up warm and comforted. Owen's warm hand rubbing her side.
She rolls over to face him and buries her face in his chest.
"Owen, I'm gonna forgive you this time but this can't happen again."
"I'm promise, it will never happen again." He holds her tightly and she lets him. "I really really love you"
She doesn't know if she believes that but she'll stay.
yay pls review :) ok yes this is pathetic i know but trust me this isnt over lol
