AN: The first part of this is a dream sequence the character is having that flashes back to where the last chapter left off. I put dates in at the end where they wake up and it's back in the present hopefully that doesn't confuse anyone.
I know I said it would be a different p.o.v. in every chapter, but I needed this chapter to be from this p.o.v. so oh well the next one is the same too. Shit happens.
In this world you tried
not leaving me alone behind
"I'll be in Afghanistan next week if you need me"
"Why the heck are you going there," she adjusted the phone on her shoulder as she continued filling out her paperwork, "it's hot and full of nothing but sand, hardly anything for an alcoholic to be excited about."
"Hilarious. There's a weapons demo I have to do for the army – blame Rhodey."
She put her pen down and put her elbow on the desk as she looked out the window beside her. She perched her head on her hand and took a deep breath, "Well have fun with that…what about your birthday party? Are you going to cancel it?"
She heard a scoff, "Don't be crazy. I told Platypus he and I would both be back in time for festivities-no questions asked."
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay
She shook her head and laughed. Typical Tony. Dealing weapons one day downing drinks the next.
"Where are you headed next?"
She was too focused on the clouds to hear the question.
"Sis?"
She blinked quickly, "Oh, I'm sorry; it's been a…long day. I think Fury's sending us to Rio for a quick pick up."
The mission was a simple one, nothing too special.
"Well, alright, I gotta go. Be careful in Rio – the humidity's a bitch."
The memories ease the pain inside
now I know why
"Are you ready?"
She nodded at Rhodey as they looked at their drop zone from the military choppers open door. She looked back at the team he led for his unit grateful she didn't have to do it alone. S.H.I.E.L.D. may be a secret to the public, but the government knew of them and Fury made it clear to army generals she was an asset.
"It's like this, would you rather her put her specialty of tactical warfare to use with or without you? Because trust me when I say her way is a lot messier."
She strapped her rifle to the clips on her chest that her combat uniform provided and quickly adjusted the straps around her legs and shoulders from the parachute on her back.
They'd been out here for six months already.
In the sun and heat, sifting through sand.
Looking for anything that looked like him.
Made me promise I'd try
to find my way back in this life
"Alright guys, let's do it!"
Rhodey fell out of the chopper as his unit followed suit through both sides of the helicopter. She was the last to approach the door and in order to keep steady she put both hands on the frame.
The sounds of the blades above her head keeping the helicopter in the air were almost deafening. She needed to get her mind focused; she wouldn't be helping anyone if she got emotional now.
She took a breath and fell allowing the air to carry her to join the others.
I hope there is a way
to give me a sign you're okay
A month later bullets flew past her as Rhodey pulled her by her pack down behind a rock, her back pressed flat up against it. She caught her breath as she gripped her AK-47 tightly. She glanced to the side to see a member of his team on the ground motionless.
Remind me again
it's worth it all
She shut her eyes tightly and rested the back of her head against the rock.
So I can go home
Another month and she lay in her tent she shared with Rhodey. Though it was December, there was no cheer, and though the desert night brought the cold reminder of winter she felt no difference as she had felt cold deep down for months.
They'd lost two more men that day. She looked to the other side of the tent to find Rhodey on his back, arms crossed behind his head serving as a pillow, one knee bent as he stared blankly.
All of my memories
keep you near
A heavy silence sat between them that she wasn't sure had ever existed when they were within feet of each other.
She was no fool though; she knew the reason for the silence.
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here
What was there to talk about when the glue holding them together wasn't there?
All of my memories
keep you near
The ninth month brought more gunfire and explosions, though somehow she knew this was different; she could feel it. There was only six of the original ten members of their unit left, and they fought with everything they had, and when her bullets ran out she resorted to hand to hand combat.
Time slowed as they watched something fly above them as she threw a guard over her shoulder disarming him in the process. His pistol now in her hand, her gaze did not move from the sky as she fired two shots into the ground.
"Rhodey!"
She took off running. That rocket in the sky just looked too weird to her as parts of it flew off midair. Their intelligence made it clear that these terrorists didn't have the resources for that type of weaponry.
Rhodey must have been two steps ahead of her, as always, she realized when she saw him running towards the Humvees they had hidden behind rocks for protection. She could barely hear his orders to his unit over the sound of her heart beating in her ears. She stumbled in the sand but soon caught herself as she finally reached the vehicles.
The engine roared when she shut her door as Rhodey barely waited for two of his unit to pile in the back seat. She looked behind her to the other Humvee and watched as they fired out of their windows at the remaining terrorists.
The silent whispers, silent tears
She shot up in bed gasping for air. She put a shaky hand to her forehead to wipe off the cold sweat that had accumulated there. Chest heaving, she looked around her for something to she could ground herself to.
I'm okay…I—I'm okay
Nightmares came with the territory of what she did for a living, and although it may or may not be obvious, she knew in the back of her mind that she wasn't by any means the only agent suffering from them.
Still though, this particular nightmare always left her on edge.
She took a deep breath of air through her nose and let it out her mouth, throwing the covers back and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She tilted her head to the side and put a hand on her neck trying to work the tension out of the muscle as she closed her eyes.
It wasn't that the nightmare held overly gruesome violence.
I mean, a few really bad people did die. But—
It was nothing she hadn't dealt with before. It was more along the lines of where the nightmare always ended before her subconscious ended the torture.
It was a constant reminder of what was at stake if she failed…
Slowly she opened her eyes to stare at the wall in front of her.
It had been almost two years since they found her brother after nine months of searching the deserts of the Middle East.
Sure, she boasts that she has four brothers; it was the only time she thought she lost her actual, biological, real brother. She remembers being terrified of the thought of being the only Stark left.
In no way was she saying the others didn't mean as much to her as Tony. Rhodey, Clint, and Grant were her support system and together with Nick they were a family in every sense of the word.
At the rate she was going through bottles at the liquor store, she's not even sure she would have made it through his absence without them.
It had a happy ending, why can't it be a happy dream?
Determining that sleeping was no long an option, she bent over to pick up the hoodie lying by her bed before throwing it on and standing up, stretching her arms high above her as she did so. She walked to her door, and quietly opened it since she wasn't entirely sure who was awake right now; after all it was 6:30 in the morning.
Well that's not true; she knew for a fact Tony was definitely not awake.
She poked her head out into the hallway and looked both ways. Deciding the coast was clear she made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, the cool marble floor felt soothing on her bare feet as she walked.
When she came into the living room she heard a strange gargling noise and froze. She slowly turned around only to be reminded of Rhodey passing out in the kitchen the night before resulting in them carrying him to the couch.
No way would he be waking up anytime soon either.
She made it to the kitchen where she set about finding something to eat.
"Good morning, Ms. Stark"
She smiled to herself at the greeting from the A.I.
How can someone like Tony create something so polite?
"Mornin' J.A.R.V.I.S., what's there to eat in here?"
She opened random cabinets around her to see what there was to offer, when a not so J.A.R.V.I.S. voice broke the silence.
"There's some Honey Nut Cheerios in the cabinet to your left, I think Tony ate all the yogurt flavored ones though."
Emily whipped around to find Pepper in the kitchen archway in a pale green fluffy robe.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I totally woke you up didn't I?"
Pepper waved off her suggestion as she made her way to the counter to pick up a cup of coffee J.A.R.V.I.S. had already made for the household.
She let out a light scoff, "Trust me you didn't wake me up," she paused as she's poured creamer into her cup before continuing, "A 165 lb. man snoring into my ear had that honor."
Emily let out a chuckle. She knew all about sleeping next to Tony; you'd have better luck getting a good night's sleep next to a Harley Davidson. When she was younger and he was actually home from school long enough for down time, she would sneak in his room if she had nightmares and get in beside him, only to have his snoring wake her up in the early morning.
He wasn't too much of a fan about the tissues I'd stick up his nose either.
"What's got you up so early? No offense but I just assumed any blood relative of Tony 's would have the same sleeping habits."
Sitting down at the table with an apple, Emily nodded her head in agreement before saying, "Trust me, I'm exactly like him when it comes to sleep," she took a bite and with a mouthful of apple continued, "Up all night, sleep all day."
She noticed Pepper wasn't all that phased by her lack of manners when she realized she was talking with her mouth full. How long has she been around Tony?
Oh yeah.
Emily swallowed quickly before adding, "I'm actually a little better when it comes to waking up though. I just had a-" she trailed off, "a rough night."
She leaned back as she sunk lower in her chair, feet propped up on the edge by her butt, bringing her knees to her chest as she brought her hand up for another bite of the apple.
"Nightmares?"
Pepper's question caused Emily to stop mid-bite.
It had never occurred to her that Pepper had been through the same ordeal, just not in the desert. No, she was here trying to keep the family company afloat with Obadiah Asshat (as dubbed by her) while she had no idea what could possibly be going on with her and Rhodey.
Oh God-
Emily couldn't even process how that would feel. Not knowing. Just sitting in Tony's empty house-
"It's okay, I have them too. Tony's are worse though; at least mine only come when I've had a really hard day."
She had no doubts about Tony's nightmares. Her brother and she had been plagued by nightmares for nearly 20 years. She may have only been eight years old, but her imagination took care of the rest.
Emily swallowed the lump in her throat before nodding, "Yeah. It's always the same one too; out in the desert, all hot and sticky from carrying all that crap, sometimes the sand on the beach reminds me and I feel gross all over again."
She noticed the red head glancing at her with suspicion.
"Why were you in the-", Peppers blue eyes widen almost to the point it reminds Emily of a cartoon character, "You mean, you were there with Rhodey?"
Wow, who does this red head think she is? Of course she was out looking for her brother! Why would she even think—Oh yeah…
She just found out about you yesterday Emily, back up.
She shook her head to rid herself of the internal scolding of her conscious before setting her apple down on the table in front of her where Pepper sat across from her. She had to think fast so Pepper wouldn't think she was offended.
"Yeah, and let me tell you something, December in the desert—not so festive."
Pepper must have realized how it sounded as she put her coffee on the table to join Emily's apple, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to insinuate…I-I didn't think you just..." she let out a frustrated sigh.
Tony would kill her if she let Pepper be in a depressed mood before he even woke up.
She let out a laugh that startled Pepper.
"You should have seen his face when we found him!"
She stopped to slap her leg recalling the memory. The sad thing was she wasn't faking the laugh at all. She remembers it being the first time she laughed in nine months.
"His eyes were all big and stuff, and his shirt was wrapped around his head, but where he did it himself there was like this huge portion of his head not covered at all," she took in a breath of air, "and I guess this…giant, metal…thing that Rhodey and I saw in the middle of all this fighting going on, apparently was him blowing out of the cave, and when he told us we couldn't help but laugh at him."
She was practically cackling now, but she didn't care. Pepper probably thought she was insane, but oh well, she was a Stark, everyone already assumed she was.
It apparently worked though as a hint of a smile appeared on Pepper's face before quietly mentioning the suit was actually downstairs.
Emily sat up with another laugh.
"I know," another breath of air, "I laughed at him all over again when he showed it to me!"
They were both laughing now, but it only lasted for a minute.
Well, at least it kind of worked.
A heavy silence settled over them once more until she heard the other woman take a deep breath.
"I didn't mean to make it sound like you would've just sat by while he was…."
They were on equal turf now. She couldn't say it either. Couldn't say how he was…well…not in the United States.
Pepper's body was turned to the side slightly as one of her freckled arms had come to lie on the table as her other arm was propped on the back of the chair with her elbow running her hand through her hair.
Emily reached out to put her hand over the one of the woman in front of her, "Pepper," she started as she patted her hand, "it's okay."
Pepper turned her gaze to their hands on the table.
"I know you would have been out there too if you could," she retracted her hand to point a finger at her waggling it in a reprimanding manner, "but you knew Tony well enough to know he would have wanted you to stay here."
That brought a smile onto the woman's face as she turned in her chair to completely face Emily again with both elbows now on the table in front of her clasping her hands together as she shook her head ; the grin turning into a smug one.
"The only thing different than normal was that he wasn't physically here for me to yell at," her statement lost its fire half way through, "that was the worst part. That he wasn't here to make me laugh, or impress me with how much he actually knew about what was going on in the Company, or-"
Emily raised her gaze from her apple and made eye contact with Pepper as she took in a deep breath before continuing.
"He wasn't here to make me smile."
She couldn't help but smirk at the comment.
It was no secret to Emily about Tony's constant flirting with his personal assistant. He talked about her non-stop—despite how many girls he distracted himself with.
"He's been in love with you for a long time Pepper."
She watched Pepper's eyes snap to meet hers almost as if she didn't believe her.
"No, I—I really doubt that, I was just a personal assistant he was grateful for having around. He was-"
"Completely obsessed with you."
Tony might kill her later, but Emily was not going to let the only woman (that wasn't her or their mother) her brother has ever let see the real him continue thinking she was just one of his flings.
Pepper's mouth hung agape for a minute as if trying to find the words to say, before finally closing.
"But," she stuttered and then swallowed back a choke, "what about all those—all the other…women?"
Emily snorted at the thought, "Distractions."
Her simple answer to the question apparently was not what the red head was expecting.
Honestly? No wonder it'd taken them both so long to get together. They both were freaking blind to what was right in front of them. How could she not see that?
Its official, they were made for each other.
Pepper was quiet for a while before gently lowering both hands to lay flat on the table as she leaned back in her chair.
"Well…guess you learn something new every day."
Emily snorted as she laughed out loud.
Oh yeah, they're perfect for each other.
Darling you know I love you
Till the end of time
