Bruised & Battered,
Chapter 7
"Can I come in?" the other woman asked as she looked at her curiously, making Annie wonder exactly how long she'd been staring at her without saying a word.
"Of course," she replied as she motioned for her to come in, closing the door behind them. "Jimmy's not here," she offered rather lamely, unable to think of any other reason why she would have shown up on her doorstep at this time of night.
Or at any other time, to be honest.
"He went... home," she informed her, opting to keep details to a minimum. Easier to stay out of trouble that way, she figured...
"That's okay," Nathalie said as she turned to face her. "I actually wanted to talk to you."
"To me?" she asked with a frown, wondering what Jimmy's girlfriend could possibly want with her. While quite a few possibilities did come to mind, including one where the dark-haired beauty somehow knew exactly what had transpired in her kitchen earlier that evening, she knew that was just her imagination running wild.
Or so she kept telling herself.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" she managed to ask, sounding almost normal.
Or, if not normal, then at the very least innocent...
"It's about Jimmy," came the reply, crushing Annie's hopes that the unexpected visit was purely coincidental, having nothing to do with her partner or the relationship between the two of them.
"What about him?" she asked, feeling like the world's biggest hypocrite. She'd always been very direct by nature, preferring to deal with whatever problem she encountered head-on, so tip-toeing around the issue at hand was making her very uncomfortable. Unfortunately, telling the truth wasn't really an option right now, so she'd have to settle for trying to avoid outright lies.
"You probably know Jimmy and I have been fighting quite a bit lately."
"Yeah, I know Jimmy's spent a couple of nights in the bunks," she offered casually. "He mentioned you having some problems with the job."
"The job," Nathalie repeated with a mirthless laugh. "I guess that's true to a certain extent. I certainly did resent him dropping everything and taking off whenever the damn phone rang."
"I'm sorry," she replied, not knowing what else to say.
"I've always known the job is a big part of who Jimmy is," the dark-haired woman continued as she made her way to the living room, dropping down on the couch in the spot so recently occupied by her hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. "And I do get that what you do is important, that it's quite literally a matter of life and death more often than not, but when your boyfriend runs off mid-coitus, a girl can start to get a bit insecure."
"Um, I-"
"Sorry, I know that was probably way more information than you needed," Nathalie said, cutting her off. "Anyway, I've come to realize that the job's not really the problem."
"Then what is?" she found herself asking, quite against her better judgment. The last thing she should be doing was helping the other woman figure out why things weren't working out, since shewas the cause of their problems.
"Surely the fact that I showed up on your doorstep in the middle of the night gives you an idea."
"I don't understand-"
"Look," she said, impatiently flicking a strand of hair out of her face, "I'm not an idiot. I know you and Jimmy are close, and that you have some sort of history that goes beyond friendship-"
"I'm not sleeping with Jimmy!" she countered defensively, not quite able to meet the other woman's eyes. While technically true, their relationship wasn't exactly platonic either, and the line between truth and lie was a mighty fine one in this case.
"Oh, I know that," Nathalie said dismissively, as if the very notion was utterly ridiculous. "Jimmy's too much of a good guy to do something as tawdry as having an affair."
Another technically accurate statement, she thought as she kept silent and tried not to squirm.
"Not that I think you'd be a party to such a thing," she added, seemingly unaware of the effect her words were having on Annie, "even if Jimmy werethe type to screw around."
She fell silent as she studied the marshal, obviously looking for some kind of confirmation from her. Annie fought the urge to spill her guts, to tell the other woman everything, but she managed to hold it together. This just wasn't her story to tell, in the end...
"You're just like him when it comes to things like this," she continued once it was clear Annie wasn't going to say anything. "It's like you share the same moral code."
"I think that's really just a by-product of the job," she replied, wondering exactly where that nifty moral code had been earlier that evening when she'd been busy ripping the clothes off someone else's boyfriend.
"I somehow doubt that's the only reason," Nathalie countered, interrupting her guilty musings. "Doesn't really matter, though. I've come to realize it wasn't the job Jimmy was running to all this time, not really. Every time the phone rang, every time he canceled on me... He was running to you, even if he didn't know that's what he was doing."
"I never meant to come between the two of you," Annie said softly, meaning every single word. While she couldn't deny she was happy things hadn't worked out between the two of them, she nonetheless felt terrible about her role in the breakup.
"Oh, I don't blame you," the other woman assured her. "Hell, when it comes right down to it, I don't even blame him."
"I'm not sure I'd be so... understanding... if I were in your place," the marshal admitted, gaining a whole new appreciation for her would-be rival. Were their roles reversed, she was pretty damn sure she'd have kicked her ass into the next county for trying to get Jimmy away from her.
"Would my screaming like a banshee and threatening to wipe you off the face of the earth really change anything?" Nathalie asked with a shrug. "Don't get me wrong... If I thought this was just about sex, the claws would be out in one second flat. Believe me when I say that I'd give you the fight of your life."
"I don't doubt that for a second." While she'd never spent much time with Jimmy's girlfriend - for obvious reasons - she was starting to think they could have been friends under other circumstances. "I really wouldn't want to find myself on your bad side," she admitted with a smile. She had a feeling the other woman would be a force to be reckoned with...
"Well, you don't really have to worry about that. We both know this isn't just some little fling he's going to get bored of, so fighting would be pretty pointless for everyone involved."
"I'm sorry," Annie said, feeling guilty all over again. While she might not have actually done anything to come between the two of them, the end result was still the same: Jimmy was leaving his girlfriend so he could be with her...
"It's okay," the other woman replied as if reading her thoughts. "We don't get to pick who we fall in love with," she added with a sad smile. "We do, however, get to pick who we spend our lives with and I, for one, am not going to waste my life hanging on to someone who will never feel about me the way I feel about him."
"I really am sorry," the blond marshal murmured, wondering just how often she'd uttered those words in the past twenty-four hours. "I still don't quite understand why you came to see me, though. I assume it wasn't just to... um... " She trailed off, not quite sure how to put it.
"Give you permission to date my boyfriend?" she offered, obviously enjoying Annie's discomfort.
"Kind of, yeah, now that you mention it..."
"I actually wanted to give you a bit of advice," she admitted, her tone serious once more. "Look, I don't know what happened with the two of you, or why you haven't managed to make it work, but... He's in love with you, and I think you feel the same way about him." She trailed off, obviously struggling to find the right words. "He deserves to be with someone who makes him happy and, despite everything, I think you deserve that too... So don't wait too long, okay?"
"I don't-" She was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Cursing softly as she excused herself, she made her way to the kitchen and snatched the phone off the counter.
Nathalie didn't miss the look of guilt on Annie's face as she glanced at the caller ID. "You should answer that," she said with knowing smile as she got off the couch and made her way to the door. "He'll be worried if you don't."
"I'm sorry," she said lamely the what felt like the hundredth time that night, yet not knowing what else to say.
"It's okay. Just tell him I'm on my way home." With those words, she was out the door, leaving a guilt-ridden Annie to stare after her.
The continued ringing of her cell phone brought her out of her trance. "Nathalie was here," she told her partner without so much as a hello.
"She was at your place?" her partner asked in confusion. "Why?"
"I can't-"
"Never mind," he interrupted. "You don't have to tell me. I guess I'll find out soon enough..."
"It's just that-"
"It's okay, really," he assured her. "I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of this mess."
"It's okay," she replied, sighing. "She's on her way home."
"Are you okay?" he asked gently, sounding worried.
"Yes," she replied automatically, then thought better of it. "No."
"You're not?" he asked, the level of worry in his tone going up one notch. She didn't know whether it was because of what he thought might have happened with Nathalie, or because he was afraid she might be having second thoughts, but she was too tired to really care just now.
"I don't know how I feel," she admitted with a sigh. "It's just... I don't like this, Jimmy. It feels like we're sneaking around behind her back. I lied to her - well, not technically a lie, I guess, since we didn't actually have sex, though it's not like we didn't cross quite a few lines along the way - but I let her believe there was nothing going on."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, just... Talk to her. She deserves the truth."
"I will."
"And Jimmy, if you're not sure about this, you need to tell me now. I am not going to be the other woman-"
"I love you, Annie," he said without a hint of doubt in his voice. "That's not going to change."
"Okay," she replied, releasing the breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding. She really was going to have to work on that pesky fear of abandonment thing...
"I know this is probably asking for a lot, but try to get some rest."
"I will," she assured him. "I'm going to finish reading my chapter, then I'm off to bed."
"Okay," he said, sounding relieved. "Good night., Boots."
"Good night," she replied, stifling a yawn. She was about to end the call when she thought better of it. "Jimmy?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you too..."
