Wilhelmina
Content
'God you are emotional...I do too.'
I hang up the phone and take one last look at him smiling at me through the glass. I flap my hands at him to get him to stop goddamn staring and he laughs, holding his hands up, admitting defeat. I see him up the phone and make a call.
Seven months...seven months with Daniel Meade. Sometimes the thought still makes me laugh. The man-whore, the job stealer, the constant thorn in my side and the jackass who had kissed me in an elevator spouting some crap about sexual tension...which I didn't realise we had until he fucking brought it up and then it was all I could think about. My thoughts moved from screwing him over to just screwing him and how I hated him for that. Now though, now I'm glad he did, although these thoughts will stay inside my head until the day I die. Normally, when I felt that towards a man I would just take what I wanted and get it out of my system. Not with him.
When did the man I abhorred become the only man I could see myself with? And why did it have to be so goddamn complicated? Everyone around us is waiting for us to fail and then there's the fact that he won't let me fight with his mother anymore, he's banned one of my favourite pastimes.
Hell, 11.10, still too early to go home.
For the first month after we went public I was constantly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I became convinced he was going to publicly humiliate me, that this had been his plan all along. I started being a royal bitch to him again, steeling myself for the inevitable blow. He called me out on it though. Saw through the bravado that used to send him scurrying with his tail between his legs.
'Damn it Wilhelmina, if you want me to go I'll go, but I'm not putting up with you trying to push me away.'
'I don't know what you mean.'
'Bullshit, you think by now I don't know how you operate? You're getting scared and putting all your defences back up so you don't get hurt. Now, I can't make you believe this but I am not in this to hurt you. If anything I have more to lose. I know this is where I want to be, is this where you want to be?'
'I...yes.'
'Then shut up and come here.'
That had been the day I decided to let him in, completely. Most men would run for the hills if they knew all my neurosis, even Connor didn't see the full extent. Daniel...he just takes it all in his stride, he knows how terrifying it was for me to open up, especially to him. Letting your former worst enemy see all your weaknesses...that's some heavy ammunition, but I knew I had to if I wanted him to trust me, after all the shit I've done trust was always going to be the hardest thing for us to build.
I'm desperately trying not to dwell on what he just said on that phone, I know it's the closest we ever have, and probably ever will, come to saying...that.
Fuck it, in here, I can say it.
Wilhelmina Slater loves Daniel Meade.
And I don't need to explain myself to any one.
