A/N: Heeeeeyyyy! So, I'm, like, feeling really sick and stuff...so I'm taking my daily dose of Hetalia fics! XD I had a different idea for this chapter, but after a request, this idea popped first and foremost into my mind. Thank you Roshia-chan-Loves-You! I hope you continue to read these and that I make everyone laugh! Or something close to it.
And since no one decided to take up the sing challenge from last chapter, there are no winners, thus nothing to name the park Japan made.
WARNINGS: Greece and Turkey animosity. And different religious beliefs. I know that Greece probably isn't Christian, and I know for certain that Turkey isn't Atheist, but for the purpose of this fanfic, I've made them so, because it's close enough. I do not mean to affend anyone in any way.
I also don't own Hetalia. Or Dane Cook.
Hercules looked down at the letter in his hand, then back up to the street sign. He glanced and down the street lazily before crossing the road. He continued his leisurely pace as he walked along the street, watching the cars whiz by, though he was pretty sure he was late. But Kiku could wait, couldn't he?
Kiku had just opened a new park not far from where lived, and had invited the Greek to a small picnic as he took in the new environment. And of course Hercules had accepted. They were best friends!
Hercules unfolded the small map printed under Kiku's neat, handwritten invitation to make sure he was heading in the correct direction. When he picked his head up from the paper, he noticed the crosswalk light had turned red. He shrugged. Kiku could wait a bit longer. Plus, the long walk was tiring…Hopefully the park would have a nice place for a nap.
The Greek turned in a small circle. He loved Japan in the spring. All the birds were flitting about and the cherry blossoms were a delicate pink as they danced in the sweet-smelling breeze.
His eyes passed over the corner of the street adjacent from him and he caught the sight of a dark green coat. He did a double-take and his lips curled into a scowl as recognition boiled in his stomach like burning pitch. What was he doing here?
Sadiq must have felt the glare Hercules was putting on his white mask because brown eyes turned to meet green. Sadiq grinned and strolled over to Hercules.
"Don't tell me you're here because of Kiku", Sadiq asked, but there was a growl under his smooth grin.
Hercules only nodded. "I'm his best friend. Why wouldn't he invite me?"
The Turk coughed out a laugh. "You're his best friend?"
"Of course."
"Mmm, sure." The Greek narrowed his eyes. "We can walk now, you know".
Hercules looked up to see Sadiq halfway across the street, a broad smirk on his tanned face. The Greek clenched his jaw and continued ahead, restraining himself from running his shoulder into the other. Kiku didn't like it when he and Sadiq fought. Then Hercules would do this for Kiku. Because he was Kiku's best friend.
So, when Sadiq ended up sneezing – which was utterly revolting considering the man didn't even bother to cover his face or anything and Hercules could see all the spittle and just utter grossness spray from his mouth – he decided to be the bigger man.
"God bless you."
Sadiq titled his head and frowned. "What? No, I'm Atheist."
"Then peace be with you."
"I'm Atheist, man! I don't do this."
Hercules laughed. Sadiq's frown deepened. Who cared if he knew Kiku would be angry when he found them fighting? This…this…Greek was making fun of him! Well, he knew how to play this game.
As Hercules continued to ramble off some prayer or another, Sadiq chuckled at everything, making remarks about how stupid this thing or sounded, or how could something like so and so happen? He was pleased to find the Greek's voice quiet down as his lips hardened into a scowl.
"So, you believe that everyone goes to Heaven and all the people that's died are going to meet him all waving and smiles?" Sadiq laughed. "It sounds more like your coming off an airplane!"
Hercules fumed. "Then what do you believe?" He couldn't believe how…how snarky this Turk was being to him!
Sadiq drew himself up and smiled. "I know that, when I die, we die, our bodies are decomposed and become one with this earth, where they are turned into the perfect fertilizer for the Earth. And we will all come back as a beautiful tree."
Hercules mouth dropped open. The man actually…actually believed this? That he would become a tree…and Sadiq had been laughing about his beliefs!
Once more, Hercules had the idea of running into him, punching him, going off on the other. But, through the conversation, they had found their way to the park. He could see Kiku's shape sitting under on of the many tall gazebo's that dotted the flat grass. Hercules was going to make sure that Kiku didn't hear them.
He leaned in closer to Sadiq. "You believe you will be a tree? Well, I hope you do. So that, one day, a fat sweaty man with a giant axe can cut you down, send you on a long journey to a sawmill where you will be ground up, pounded, and pressed into paper. And I sincerely hope that they print the Bible on you."
Sadiq stopped dead in his tracks, mouth open as Hercules smiled casually. The Greek left him to stroll to the Japanese man waiting for them beneath the building, his grin spreading as he tried to hold in his laughter.
