The Only Exception
Warning this story contains graphic sex, rape, sex with a minor, blood play . . . the works! The pairing is Damon/Jeremy Slash! If you don't like it go away. Thank you! ( : Enjoy.
These characters are not mine, if they were I would help Damon with his guilt.
Chapter 7: Promise
Damon's POV
(A/N-This is similar to the last chapter. It shows Damon's view of these events.)
Since I had found out that he was truly alive I had resorted to following the boy everywhere. I know, it's wrong, creepy and Edward Cullen-like (Caroline had forced me to read all of the books) but I had to. I needed to know what he was up to, what had happened and how he was. Which wasn't working out too well.
As far as I could tell he had started to take drugs again. I was aware that he had after his parents had died but now he didn't seem to spend a moment sober. I watched the worry on Jenna and Elena's faces and I didn't blame them, he was a wreck because of me.
I turned another corner. At the moment he was attempting to get home whilst very very high and not doing a very good job of it. I relaxed for a moment as he collapsed into a doorway. I went down to where he was, quickly making sure that he was okay before retreating to a safe distance before he woke up. I was aware of the stirring in my crotch after being so close to him. It made me sick, how I could still want him so much after what I had done but I did. Every time I thought of him my body reacted but I tried to ignore it.
I sighed and turned another corner, he had woken up again after 5 minutes and I was just following close enough to keep tabs on him without arousing suspicion.
"Hey, Damon!" I heard someone call me. I tried to ignore them and continued to walk down the street but they ran up towards me. I turned to none other than the wonderfully oblivious sheriff. She began to talk to me, commenting on how horrible I looked. She didn't exactly spell it out but I was aware that I was forfeiting my usually pristine look to follow Jer around a lot.
I made up an excuse of just coming back into town to explain my absence and current state and I made it very obvious that I wanted to be somewhere else but she didn't budge. She continued to chat about work, vampire Barbie and (Shhhh) the Council. I was getting very restless at that point, I had totally lost Jer and was considering just leaving her there.
Eventually we said our long goodbyes and as soon as she was out of the way I sprinted away as fast as I could to find the young Gilbert.
I looked down every street I could until I eventually saw him. Unfortunately, he saw me too. He was heading straight towards me and when he saw me I could tell that he was petrified. He span around so fast that I barley saw it before he bolted away from me.
I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just leave him like that, thinking that I was trying to attack him but I couldn't approach him no matter how much I wanted to. I had been thinking about trying to confront him, he had been struggling and it killed me knowing that where was something I could do about it. I could change his memories so it had never happened.
"Jeremy! Please stop!" I cried as loud as I could as I jogged behind him to keep up, I had made my decision and was going to talk to him. He didn't slow down and I could tell that I was scaring him from the frantic way he ran and the desperate gasps he took as he tried and failed to push himself faster.
I could feel my whole chest twist painfully at his reaction, he wasn't just afraid of me, he was completely and utterly terrified. Just looking at me distressed him. I quickly skipped ahead of him to get him to stop running before he hurt himself but I just made it worse, his heart beat was so fast and strained that I was surprised that he didn't have a heart attack.
I panicked when he flew off again like he was being chased and if he stopped he would die. I had to get him to stop. This time I carefully came up behind him and held his back to my chest. Pinning his arms, too, so he wouldn't hurt himself if he panicked.
For a moment he was too shocked to move and all I did was hold him, basking in the feeling of him next to my chest, so close I could feel the heat radiating off him. That didn't last long though and he began to kick me, each blow actually hurt a lot. He was using all of his strength to try break free of me but I waited and took the abuse until his kicks began to get weaker.
"Damon. Please-Don't. I'll do anything, just don't do it!" He begged into me as he almost cried. "I never told anyone. I swear-I'll never do that!" The pain in his voice almost made me let go of him but I couldn't now. I had to make him see that I wasn't a threat.
"Jer, please, just relax. I won't hurt you, I promise." I whispered as soothingly as I could as I stroked a hand through his hair, trying to calm him but it didn't work.
Luckily we had been on a very quiet road and nobody had come past. Until now. I saw someone coming up the road, unaware of what was happening so far.
Jeremy, of course, chose this moment to cry out for help. "Somebody Help-HELP!" He screamed, every word tearing at me but I couldn't think about it. I needed to get us out of the way.
"Jer, I can explain, just stay quiet!" I tried first but he continued to cry out jumbled words that stopped making sense. I quickly pulled him into a side-street, away from anyone. I felt Jeremy freeze up from the move but there was nothing else I could do.
I was surprised when he sagged into me, all of his muscles failing.
"I'm sorry." I could hardly hear him splutter it out. "I promise I won't do it again, just don't make it hurt." Everything in me was crying out for him to not give up. He had never given up, unlike me. He had gone out to face the world (granted that he was high) whilst I hid in my room and it wasn't even me that was attacked.
"You never did anything wrong, Jer, and I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." I said after a moment of being lost for words. I went to run a finger over his cheek and catch the stray tear there but he flinched away, making me glad in a way. He would fight, even if he was defenceless.
I waited for a moment and when I was sure he wasn't going to do anything rash I let him go with a quick warning;
"Right, I'm going to let you go now, just don't run off." I expected him to but he just stood at the opposite wall, his large brown eyes never leaving me. We stood in silence as he slowly regained his breath and relaxed. I relaxed with him, every sense that had been on edge subsided.
"Are you okay?" A stupid question but one I was dying to know the answer to, every complicated level of it.
"What do you think?" He snapped with so much venom that I flinched away from him. I knew exactly what he meant.
"I know it can't mean much but you have to know that I am sorry. That I regret what I did every moment of my life. I wish I could take it back, more than anything in the world." It rushed out of my mouth before either of us had a chance to stop it and it felt brilliant. A small weight was lifted off my shoulders at saying that. Just him knowing made him seeing me worthwhile. I took a tentative step forwards. I couldn't see him reacting any way other than badly but it still hurt when he stepped even farther away from me, pushing himself into the wall.
I couldn't stop the reaction that hit me right then at his response. Before I knew it my hand was flung into the wall as I tried to do anything to remove the pain that shot through me. I turned around to see him frozen, staring at me with enough fear for a dozen people.
"Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry." I repeated. "I just . . . really hate myself at the moment." I finished lamely, clenching my fist as I tested which fingers I had broken.
"Then why-I need to know why me, why would you do it?" It was the first sentence he had actually said to me that hadn't been an insult or a plea and I didn't know how to answer it, not in a way that would make him feel better.
"Because I was angry. Because you were there and so many more fucking ridiculous reasons. There is no excuse for what I did but I want to make it better." I know I sounded hopeful with the last line, I couldn't help it. If he would just stop hating me, one day, then I would be happy.
"The only thing you can do is leave me alone, don't come near me again." He said to me his voice strong with new-found confidence as he turned away from me and stalked down the path. I ignored his rejection and ran after him for one last try.
"Wait, I actually wanted to talk to you." It was true, I really couldn't let him go without at least suggesting the idea. "I thought I could get rid of that night so you can forget, move on. It's the least I could do to help."
"Just so you could feel better." He barked at me. "So you don't have to live with what you did? Well, No! I hate you and that will never change, no matter what you do." I flinched back, the words hurting more than any physical pain. I just hoped he didn't mean it. I just couldn't carry on knowing he hated me.
"Just, please, think about it. It's not for me, I just want you to be better." I smiled at him slightly, reassuring him and hopefully swaying him to the idea. I left it at that before I said something else. He could get home by himself anyway, I just hoped he would make the right decision.
I had gone back to the house after that which wasn't a good idea. I was bombarded by Katherine who asked endless questions on Jeremy's well-being. I just wondered why she didn't find out herself, she never seemed to leave the house. After the time she spent in the tomb I would've thought she would spend every moment possible outside but she just hung around the house being annoying and scaring away the door-to-door salesmen or maybe occasionally eating them.
I tried to have a nap, I tried to watch TV. I even tried to have a civilised conversation with Katherine but nothing passed the time. The whole next day went by incredibly slowly and by the time it reached 8pm I was ready to rip my hair out. I didn't even know what I was waiting for . . . well I did but I didn't even know why I was expecting a response off Jeremy. He had probably tried to forget that I had even talked to him but I couldn't dislodge the small seed of hope that said he would agree.
It was still a shock when it happened, I thought maybe I was dreaming or delusional but it was there. Three small words changed everything. It was a simple 'I'll do it.' but it had me running out of the door like I had a hungry werewolf on my tail.
I decided to take the car, it seemed the easiest option but the drive was long. In reality it was only ten minutes but I couldn't seem to drive fast enough. I was incredibly nervous by the time I got there. A range of fantasies flew through my mind from it being a trap all the way to him forgiving me. Unfortunately the first one was more likely.
I climbed in through the window, not sure if I could get through the front door and was immediately faced with Jeremy.
"Are you serious?" He just nodded in response from his spot on the bed. He was obviously on edge but not as bad as last time. He almost seemed as eager as me to get this done.
"How do we do this?" He said as he looked up from his spot on the bed.
"Well . . . You wearing any vervain?" He unclasped the small bracelet that hung around his wrist and dramatically threw it onto the desk without breaking eye contact. "Right, lets get this show on the road." I walked over to him and he instantly jumped back.
"Jer, please, you have to stay still." I whispered as I sped to hold his wrists down, compelling him at the same time. I understood why he was jumpy about me touching him but it was easier for both of us if he stayed still. He stayed frozen still, his eyes wide with shock and I released his wrists. I sat across from Jer, legs crossed in the same position as him.
"W-wait. I have some terms before you do this." He said and when I didn't give him a response he continued. I had been dreading this bit. "I don't want you to come near me." He said right off. "Only talk to me if it is unavoidable. I'm not going to force you to leave whilst I'm . . . unaware but I can't have anything to do with you."
"And how do you know I am going to stick to your terms." I asked him.
"Because I said so." He acted so confident, even though he was completely helpless. I could do anything right now and he wouldn't be able to move. "I'm not finished. If I ever find out something. If I look into it or five years from now I want to know, I want you to give me my memories back and leave. I never want to see you again, knowing what you did to me." I nodded, surprisingly none of his requests were thoughtless or unfair. He had probably put a lot of thought into this.
I brought my hand up to cup his cheek, glad to be finally able to touch him but I could see the effort he put into not moving away. He really had thought this through and had some more vervain on him somewhere but I didn't comment on it.
"Jer, before we do this I just want to say thanks. I've been trying to change for so long and I just couldn't but now I know what to do. What happened-what I did-changed something and now I am sure that I can do anything, be anyone if you say the word. I could do anything, be anyone for you."
"The only thing you can be to me is dead." He hissed and I felt it as his fist connected with my jaw harshly. I pressed a thumb on my lip, feeling the small cut heal and bringing away a small bead of blood.
The punch didn't hurt, the words did but I didn't let him see it. "Feel better?"
He just slumped back into the bed in surrender. "No."
"Where's the rest of it?" He simply reached into his pocked and pulled out a stem of the plant before unceremoniously throwing on the floor. "Jer, look at me." I whispered, moving closer to him. His eyes unwillingly rolled up until they met mine.
I buried the memories as deep as I could, I never wanted him to remember this. "You're going to forget that night and every time you have seen me since. You got back on the drugs after an old friend came back into town and the whole of last week is a bit of a blur. He's gone now and you are going to go back to school as normal. If anyone asks you're fine now, right?"
"I'm fine now." He echoed in a monotone.
"Good, get some sleep, you've got school in the morning." I stepped back and watched him comply, getting ready for bed in a daze like I wasn't there. When I was sure he was settled I carefully slipped the bracelet back around his wrist and disappeared out of the window for the last time.
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