Picking up the Pieces

Chapter 7 – Missing the Bigger Picture


Song: Linkin Park, "Pushing me away"


I didn't sleep well that night. A pair of green eyes were all I could see when I closed mine, it was maddening. I couldn't escape them.

I didn't eat breakfast, though I made myself a bowl of cereal, and decided instead to drink some coffee and draw. I wasn't paying attention to my sketchbook until I looked down, spilling my coffee all over the table. A had drawn a pair of green eyes. I was almost mortified, but I didn't have time for it, I was going to be late for school. I shut my sketchbook and stuffed it in my bag before running out the door.

The truck's engine whined in protest as I encouraged it to go faster and faster. I pulled into the lot as most of the rest of the student body was arriving. I went to my locker to grab my things for my next class, and turned around. My stranger was at his locker, but was staring at me.

What was his problem, anyways?

His staring was interrupted by someone short and blonde, and she curled her arms around his neck and kissed his chest. He looked away from her, focusing his attention on putting things in his locker. I was surprised at my reaction to the incident. I was angry at the blonde girl. I couldn't be jealous, could I?

My classes passed without consequence, but the tension between my stranger and I was still thick in the air. I couldn't shake the emotions that nagged at me when I saw him with that blonde girl. What was my issue, really? I couldn't be interested in this jerk. I wasn't interested in anyone. I was thankful that I had art after biology to relieve my stress. I left the lab in a rush again, and wasn't paying attention as I collided with the door frame, sending my artwork everywhere.

That's the second time in two freaking days. You need some serious help, Bella.

Some other kids in the class helped me gather all of my artwork, and I swiftly and unceremoniously stuffed it into my bag and hurried to the art room. When I got there, I re-organized my sketches. I felt like one of them was missing, but I couldn't tell which. I shrugged it off, hoping that it wasn't one of my darker pieces. I was glad that I never signed my work. Even if someone found something dark and scary, it wouldn't be traced back to me.

I focused on the sculpture I was working on for the rest of class, lost in thought until the bell rang. I wiped the plaster dust off of myself as best I could and hurried out the door. Alice was waiting there, and linked her arm with mine again before heading with me to my locker. Again, she babbled about clothing and shopping while I gathered my homework. I laughed with her when she recounted something entertaining that had happened at lunch that day, finding anything involving Emmett to be highly entertaining. She reminded me of our shopping trip for the hundredth time before bidding me adieu to go home with Jasper.

I giggled and waved goodbye before heading to my truck. Angela caught up with me as I crossed the parking lot.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey, Angela."

Angela smiled at me before continuing.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way Mike acted yesterday. He's a nice guy, really. I just, I don't think he's used to pretty girls turning him down."

What is with people thinking I'm pretty? Are they insane?

"It's okay, Angela." I tried to grin at her, but she looked incredibly uneasy, though she returned the smile. "Is something wrong?"

"Edward Cullen is staring at you."

"What?" What is it with the boys at this school?

"Over there, Edward Cullen. He's staring right at you." I wheeled around to look in the direction she was pointing, and found myself staring into the eyes of my stranger. I was paralyzed, yet again. So this was why she looked so uneasy. At least I knew the name of the person whose eyes had completely captivated my every thought. I couldn't take my eyes away, though, and I felt electricity shoot through me. I shuddered, bringing me back down to earth.

"Who, him? Just ignore him, Angela. He's just a jerk anyways. Personally, I can't stand him." I bitterly spat.

"What?" Angela looked completely dumbfounded, "Most girls would kill to have Edward Cullen look at them like that."

"Look at them like what?" I asked. "He's just looking."

"Bella, be serious, Edward Cullen is looking at you." She emphasized the 'looking' and I turned to glance at him again. I took my time looking at his features. His hair… his face… those eyes…

Snap out of it, Bella!

I shook my head and looked away. There was something else there in his eyes, something more, the something Angela was referring to. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it almost felt like longing. Yes, that was it, Edward Cullen was looking at me longingly. As if I'd even go near that pompous fool. There was something else there, something deeper, I closed my eyes and pictured his face again, trying to place the emotion that was dancing in his eyes. Was it pain? No, it couldn't be. I was missing out on something that should have been obvious to me.

My sketch! That was the sketch that I was missing! I had drawn those green eyes this morning after I woke up, because I felt as though they were haunting me. There was a coffee stain on the corner of the page from where I had spilled as I was eating my breakfast! Damn it, I'd have to go back and find it. God only knows what kind of rumor that would start.

"Ang, he's male. He has hormones, and I'm female. I'm sure it's nothing more than that." I dismissed the idea furtively, more for the sake of keeping myself from getting my ridiculous hopes up than anything. "I have to go get something I forgot back inside, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, well, alright Bella. See you later." She waved as she turned towards her car. Ben was waiting by the passenger side door, his nose still in a comic book. I laughed at the odd pairing, then turned to the school and headed back indoors. I scanned the halls looking for my missing artwork and came up with nothing. I sighed and turned around to go back to my truck. As I was rounding the corner, I collided with someone, yet again. But this time, instead of falling, a familiar pair of pale hands shot out, wrapped around my waist, and helped me to steady myself.

"Take it easy there, stranger, we don't want a repeat of this afternoon." He was shaking with laughter, and I was fuming.

"Get your hands off me!" I shrieked, "Who knows where they've been!?" He laughed again, but a little more darkly. I was being irrational, again, but it seemed I always was when I was around him.

"I assure you they're clean." I looked up at him, and he smiled gently, but it didn't reach his eyes. Clearly, I'd offended him. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Those eyes were so familiar, so comforting. I felt the electricity shoot through me. He must have felt it too, because he took a wary step back, never breaking eye contact, but fear became apparent in his features.

He stuck his hand out and looked down at it, breaking our connection.

"I'm Edward Cullen, and I don't believe we've been formally introduced." He sounded like some old-fashioned movie, and his formality almost made me want to hurl. I hesitated to take his hand, and he caught my delay and laughed. "I promise I'm not going to attack you."

I reached forward, hesitating again, before I spoke. "I'm Isabella—Bella Swan." I cleared my throat loudly and placed my hand gently in his. A spark went right up my arm and I jumped back in alarm, causing me to fall over backwards. Edward looked down at me in surprise, then burst into laughter, throwing his head back and holding his stomach.

"Oh shove off!" I yelled as I righted myself. He tried to speak, but he was laughing too hard and couldn't form words. Tears started to form at the corner of his mouth and I stalked away in a rage. He followed, still unable to form a sentence, and his musical laughter was quickly grating my nerves.

"Bella, Bella wait!"He gasped as I threw open the school doors.

"What do you want, Edward?" I turned while simultaneously closing my eyes. I didn't want to lose my ability to speak when I was trying to be rude. It defeated the purpose entirely.

"Oh, well, I wanted to introduce myself."

"Yes, clearly. Well you've already done that. If that's all, I'll just be on my way." I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Wait, Bella," I sighed. I turned around again and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed as if he'd lost his composure. I put my hand on my hip and waited impatiently for him to speak. When he didn't, I took the initiative.

"Is there something I can do for you, Edward?"

"Oh, there are many things you can do for me, Bella." He flashed me a mischievous smile. Looks like he's regained his composure. I was too flabbergasted by his being forward to respond. I simply turned on my heel and stalked away. He jogged to catch up, matching my pace easily.

"Leave me alone, Edward Cullen, I want nothing to do with you!" I said over my shoulder.

"Come on, Bella, I was just joking!" He laughed.

This enraged me, how could he possibly think that kind of intimacy was humorous? I'd had this talk with my mother several times… Oh, Damnit. Now you've gone and done it, Bella. Tears formed in my eyes, but I wasn't about to allow my innate ability to be over-emotional stop me from making my point.

"I'm not about to become one of your after-school activities, Edward." I hoped that he'd catch on to the implications.

"Oh, so you like basketball?" He joked. "I mean, I'll try and get you a place on the team, but there's some stiff competition…" He trailed off, clearly impressed with the double meaning. I'd had enough. I stopped in my tracks, forcing him to pay attention to me. I didn't speak until he'd turned to face me.

I pointed my finger at him, completely infuriated.

"If you think for one second, Edward Cullen, that I'm about to become one of your mindless admirers, you've got another thing coming to you. What were you expecting, for me to bend over backwards for you, simply because of the way that you look? If you think that little of me, then this conversation was over before it even began! Do you honestly believe that being good looking and charismatic entitles you to getting whatever you please? You and I both know that you don't have what you're looking for, but how DARE you come to me in a selfish effort for you to meet your 'needs'. "

I was screaming, allowing all of my pent up frustration escape through my words and the tears that were falling down my face. As I spoke, he was shocked, but then grew angry.

"Who the hell are you to judge me? And what do you mean by 'you don't have what you're looking for' I have everything I could have ever wanted!" He shouted right back at me.

"Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? Because it sure as hell isn't me!"

"You don't know anything about me!" He roared.

"I've seen the way you treat those women, Edward," I sneered his name with every bit of malice I had, "You're using them for all they're worth! You don't even look at them when they're with you, and you've made it very clear about how much they mean to you. The only people that don't seem to be aware of your discontent are the brainless idiots who spend their time trying to make you happy!"

"Those girls… they're my friends." Even he doubted the words as they left his mouth.

"Friends with benefits, more like it." I scoffed haughtily.

"And so what if they are? What's it to you?"

"It's nothing to me!"

"Then why are you bringing it up?!"

"Because you're making yourself miserable and you don't even know it! You've deluded yourself into thinking that sex or whatever with these bimbos is going to make you happy. You should realize by now that it's only making it worse! Are you really that blind?!" I didn't understand why I was so honest, brutally so, with this person I had just met. But I couldn't stop myself. I was too angry.

"Oh, and what about you, little miss sunshine, Are you happy?" His voice was just as loud as mine, if not louder.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You want to pass judgment on me, FINE!" He bellowed, "But how about you get a taste of your own medicine before you get comfortable on that throne of yours."

Uh-oh. This is not good.

"You think you're the only one that's been paying attention, Bella? I've seen you, seen the way you hide yourself from the world. I see the dark circled under your eyes, the tearstains on your face every morning. Listening to your I-pod to drown out humanity."

"Y-you don't know w-what you're t-talking about…" I stammered.

"Oh, really? I don't? You don't eat, you don't talk to people, it's like you don't even give a damn about the life you have! You're a ghost, Bella. You can hardly call what you do everyday living!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A REASON TO LIVE!" I screamed at him. He took a step back in surprise. I collapsed to the ground sobbing as the pain I'd been working so hard to numb ripped at my chest. I clutched my arms around myself to try and keep myself together, but it was no use.

"Oh, Bella… Bella I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean t—" He reached his hands out to comfort me, but that was the last thing in the world that I wanted.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, EDWARD CULLEN! DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR ME EVER AGAIN!" I shrieked.

I tried to stand up, but the energy I'd expended arguing with Edward had nearly drained me. He again tried to comfort me.

"I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME! MOM!" I screamed. Only then did I realize my mistake. I froze, and Edward stood wide-eyed and took a step backwards. I looked into his eyes, those brilliant green eyes and the memory flooded my mind.

"Bella! Look at me, damnit!" Her voice was stronger now, but there was a definite sadness in her voice. My eyes snapped up to meet hers, still brilliantly green and completely untouched by the devastation that surrounded us. "Bella… you have to… to promise me something…" Her breathing was ragged again, but the intensity in her eyes was unnerving…

I looked away from Edward to the cold concrete I was sitting on, and tried to control my breathing. My sobs made it entirely impossible, and I wavered as my vision started to blur.

I felt myself being scooped up into someone's arms as everything went black.


A/N: Sorry about the cliff-hanger, but it was the best stopping point in the story at this point. Don't worry, though, I'm halfway done with the next chapter!

Please, please, PLEASE review! I want to know what you're thinking. (The good, the bad, and the ugly). I decided to keep it in Bella's point of view (obviously) instead of alternating. Please let me know if you like it or not!

A special shoutout to Bryan my "editor" who graciously reads these before I post them!

xo auteurinconnu